~ The Man Report ~ ~ Duck Butter & Amish Cheese ~
To better understand a Man Report, one must become familiar with Man Lingo. I started the lessons during the last trip report and while most of you passed the exam, some failed miserably. Hopefully, youll pay better attention this year.
Last time we covered
GAT, Lurpin, AU, buggin, Egg-Timers, and
Ungowa.
This year well get a little more advanced.
Gumby Any type of alcoholic beverage but generally a beer.
Stymied A state of being after youve over-indulged on alcohol. Remember last March at 8-Trax when I fell off the dance floor? Yes, I was stymied.
Ip-Dip Whenever someone does something dumb, theyre an Ip-Dip. When I lost the car last year at Downtown Disney, Loud Girl called me an Ip-Dip.
Duck Butter Reference to Chapstick, Carmex or Blistex. I like to rub a little duck butter on my lips before bed.

I use the rubby to wipe off any excess Butter.
Stick-in-the-gut When you have a piercing pain in your abdomen usually caused by an unwise combination of food/drink.

Feels like someone pushing a pointed stick into your stomach only inside-out.
I know what youre thinking. Exactly how often does the Man clan have gastrointestinal issues that they need a term for it? Unfortunately, the answer is Way too often.
Lets use the new Lingo in a paragraph, shall we?
About the time LtP had finished her 5th Gumby, she began to slur her words indicating that she had become Stymied. Like an Ip-Dip, she then proceeded to order the deer sausage & sauerkraut lasagna for dinner. By 5 a.m. the next morning she was a complete wreck and complained of a Stick-in-the-gut while huddled around the commode. Her lips were dry and cracked due to a lack of Duck Butter.
For LtP, Gumby = wine.
Also, one more word that I cannot take credit for (blue_river made this up).
Gatster- If you are the G.A.T. Master Extraordinaire, then you are a Gatster. For example: I am the Gatster
you are not!
If you dont know what G.A.T. means, please refer to my March 07 Man Report, page 3 (link in sig).
Ok, enough of that. Time to move on.
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Have you ever been to an Amish Cheese Festival? No? You have no idea what youre missing.
Four years ago we went to
Disneyland/California Adventure for a week and located just outside the little winery at CA was a group of carts and Amish people selling their custom cheese.
While this was no actual Festival, it was unique nonetheless.
I believe these were
actual Amish Cheese people as opposed to Cast Members
posing as Amish Cheese people.
Well, let me tell you. That wonderful Amish Cheese coupled with a quart of cabernet sauvignon was the most heavenly experience Ill probably ever experience.
I ended up buying a big 6 pound block of the fine Amish Cheddar and tossed it under our stroller.
As the day wore on, I would crack a chunk off every now and then to gnaw on it whilst sipping delicious Budweiser Stout. It was one of my finer Disney moments.
Those of you wondering where this story is leading will now be addressed. My question to you is this: Why dont we get Amish Cheese at Epcot? I mean really! Why does Disneyland get all the good stuff? It would go perfect with the Food & Wine festival dont you think? They could have a kiosk set up near Morocco and sell their cheese by the slice, 1 pound block, or a family style 6 pounder. For that matter, they could sell their Amish Rutabaga Wine along with it.
Anyway, just makes you wonder.
Next Up: An Unfortunate Altercation with Steve Buscemi