~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[Linnie The Pooh]

This time, I'd like to see what the babysitter would have had to say in this report when you two came home!!!!
-mary

Me too! I don't remember talking to her.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

"in my villa… lying on the floor… next to the couch… covered in popcorn… using my shoe as a pillow… and the TV volume is on full blast. "


^^^This must have been an interesting sight to see

Oy, I've seen it before. He leaves the tv on a lot when he falls asleep, usually not covered in food though.

My son is enjoying your report with all the alcohol. He wants to know what an MSG is. I told him it's a preservative. Heck, I'm not really sure.

Me either, but I know my body does NOT like it!!

NEVER had legos as a kid...we were poor so I stole Sugar cubes from my parents Catholic War Veterans meetings! And use them until Trixie our Beagle ate them and got worms!

I never had Lego's either when I was a kid. We had Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs and an erector set that we never could figure out.

DisUnc, I love Walmart & I love the As Seen On TV merchandise. Ours is at our local Shopko though. Our Walmart doesn't carry it. May have to fire off a letter to them....

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Ok, read this latest installment with a grain of sand (or is it salt?) Anyway, the majority of it where I’m concerned is a product of Buzz’s overactive imagination.
Lin’s version of what happened:

First of all, I was not throwing up, curled around the toilet when he came to bed. I was sleeping. I did throw up, but it was later in the afternoon. And only once. Those that know me, and those that have read in depth about my GI system on these boards know that this is not unusual for me to barf.

Second, I have had many occasions where I drank a lot more than I did that night at PI. Not sure I should be admitting that or not, but there is a point for doing so.

I’ve drank more than that and not been nearly as sick the next morning. I knew it was more than the wine. I really didn’t have that much. I was telling myself all night not to imbibe too much b/c I wasn’t feeling good already. My steak from Cal. Grille was supposed to be medium, but it was pretty bloody. I ate around the edges and left the really rare stuff behind. That really upsets my tum-rare meat. I should’ve sent it back, but didn’t. Also that flat bread was great, but loaded with stuff I cannot eat. And did.

2, My body was completely rebelling against me for everything I ingested in the past week. I eat a lot of health foods at home-anything I can get from the health food store, I do. We had none of that on this trip and I wasn’t used to it. Ever see that movie Super Size Me where he eats the McDonald’s for the first time and throws up out his car window? That was me-only it took a week to catch up to me. Sort of a week, I’d been feeling sick the past few days. Lesson learned-next time I'll be a lot more careful.

I then hear a muffled yakking sound in the bathroom. I recognize that sound from years of living with Linnie the Pooh-a-lot.

I wander in there and ask, “…you ok”?

“Not really”, she croaks. “The MSG is really barking this morning”.

Uh huh. MSG my butt! It was the gallon of wine she swilled. Maybe some sausage, steak, fried fish, and cheesecake didn’t help. But make no mistake about it. The Cabernet was doing all the “barking”.

See above.

We ended up spending about 3 hours swimming and having fun. At one point, Pooh came out looking all chipper and asking about lunch. A few minutes later, she was running back to the room with one hand on her mouth and the other on her butt.

This sooooooo did NOT happen!!

I came out, sat down. It was raining and I was cold so I went back inside.

Next Up: I Date Another Woman

After all the lies in this installment about me, I think it might be a good idea if we explore this dating other people a little bit!!!

 

[DISUNC]

It took you long enough to get here

and it also took three women nagging ya

thats all i am sayin

Oh Boy! The Chop Wizard is a technological marvel. It still has a place in this trip report... we just haven't gotten that far yet.

Yeah, but I really my outfit! Thanks!!!

Some might say a actual facSmiley!

 

[DISUNC]

I never had Lego's either when I was a kid. We had Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs and an erector set that we never could figure out.

DisUnc, I love Walmart & I love the As Seen On TV merchandise. Ours is at our local Shopko though. Our Walmart doesn't carry it. May have to fire off a letter to them....

You MUST it is your Civic Duty!


Erector sets

 

[crzyred]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~Paying the Fiddler~~~~~~~~

Have you ever woken up, looked around, and NOT known where in the heck you were?

This happened to me Friday morning. I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

First my eyes opened, then my head hurt, then the toe next to my big toe (the little piggy that stayed home) started throbbing with pain.

What in the heck was going on??!! I was confused and discombobulated as I lay staring at the ceiling. This happens to me a lot but rarely do I NOT know where I’m at.

hahahahhaha!!! this sounds like me last sunday morning after my cousin's wedding the night before!! haha and i love the random body aches. i have many bruises right now that i really can not explain!

love the report guys!! too funny. now i really can't wait to see what me and my 3 friends will be like on our graduation trip down there in January!!!!

 

[deide71]

Remember the good old days before children.? Then you could wait out a hang over laying on the couch watching Brady Bunch marathons and fighting over which one of you was going to drive to Mc Donald's (not that I have ever done this, so I've heard).

Aaaaahhhh, hang overs with children. Since my white trashiness lacks a better phrase, they truly suck. "No honey, mommy is really happy to get up at 6am and watch Dora the Explorer with you SWIPER DON'T SWIPE EM!. Mommy's not sleeping, she's just resting her eyes. Ho Ho's? Sure honey, as many as you want."

Guess that keeps me from becoming an alcoholic !

 

[Goofyfan1]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~Paying the Fiddler~~~~~~~~

Have you ever woken up, looked around, and NOT known where in the heck you were?

This happened to me Friday morning. I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

First my eyes opened, then my head hurt, then the toe next to my big toe (the little piggy that stayed home) started throbbing with pain.

What in the heck was going on??!! I was confused and discombobulated as I lay staring at the ceiling. This happens to me a lot but rarely do I NOT know where I’m at.

I sit up a little too quickly which increases the “throb” in both my head and toe. I look around and figure out what’s going on. I’m on vacation… in my villa… lying on the floor… next to the couch… covered in popcorn… using my shoe as a pillow… and the TV volume is on full blast.

Buzz I feel your pain I have been there and done that in my younger days It is amazing how your friends (aka Beer and Wine) turn on you after having so much fun together the night before

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

20 years ago, when I was in the army, our standard phrase was "I'll buy, you fly". This was usually on Sunday morning after a hard night out on the town. You'd think that being in the prime shape of our lives that "flying" to get the food would be the option that most of us woulda chose.

Nope! We all wanted to "buy" and be lazy and watch I Love Lucy reruns while some sucker went to get the food.

When my wife & I were first married, 700 years ago, we used to get up on Sunday morning after a hard night and head to Taco Bell together. We knew exactly what time (to the second) they opened. I always got the Beef Burrito w/ Green Sauce and she'd get 14 hard shell tacos (hold the MSG) & an X-Large Mountain Dew which she usually poured sugar packets in to.

When I was in college I was managing partner of a Rib & Chicken restaurant that was only open for dinner. When me and my college buddies would wake up Sunday morning we'd just head over there where I would open up and treat us all to nice big BBQ meal with mashed potatoes, cole slaw, sourdough bread, and homemade potato chips (which we called Skin on Fries).

Now, when Pooh & I have a little too much drink, we usually wake up around 6 a.m. when Moan Boy jumps in bead with us and by 7 a.m. we're making breakfast for the kids, drinking coffee and starting our day.

Times, they are a changin'!!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

When my wife & I were first married, 700 years ago,

I think it's 701 years dear.

We knew exactly what time (to the second) they opened.

I worked there in high school-Not much has changed in 21 years! They still open at 10:30.

I always got the Beef Burrito w/ Green Sauce and she'd get 14 hard shell tacos (hold the MSG) & an X-Large Mountain Dew which she usually poured sugar packets in to.

Another thing, not true! When we were kids, my mom would take us to McD's once in awhile and she drilled it into our heads that we never get pop in a restaurant b/c we had it at home and it was cheaper. I never get pop in a restaurant to this day, but I'll let me kids have it. 14 tacos? Yeah, right. I'd be a hurling machine.

 

[KathyRN137]

Well!

I leave this board for a couple of days and I miss all the really good stuff! With pics! I see you guys can still party like it's 1999! (For me, it was 1989, but I'm a little bit older than you )

Kathy

 

[steelfish535]

I've spent the earlier part of the week reading this trip report. It was so damned funny, I spent the later half of the week reading your prior trip report. Hilarious!

I laughed out loud in my very quiet, very uptight office when I read the part in the trip report where Loud Girl blamed the fart on Buzz, and how it's normally blamed on Mom. My wonderful, loving husband has taught the kids to blame me, or he tries to blame our two year old for the smell. He figures since he can't talk yet, he can't deny it. His newest thing is when I bend over to pick something up, he make a fart sound. It's annoying enough at home, but imagine being out.

As far as the battle flag? Yeah, he's got one he wants to tie to the stroller. It's the flag of Scotland. Not a bandanna sized one either. A huge freaking flag. When he heard about the fire breathing dragon, all I heard from the other room was mumbling, "Hey, that's a cool idea. Who doesn't love fire breathing dragons."

Looking forward to your report in October!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

I've spent the earlier part of the week reading this trip report. It was so damned funny, I spent the later half of the week reading your prior trip report. Hilarious!

I laughed out loud in my very quiet, very uptight office when I read the part in the trip report where Loud Girl blamed the fart on Buzz, and how it's normally blamed on Mom. My wonderful, loving husband has taught the kids to blame me, or he tries to blame our two year old for the smell. He figures since he can't talk yet, he can't deny it. His newest thing is when I bend over to pick something up, he make a fart sound. It's annoying enough at home, but imagine being out.

As far as the battle flag? Yeah, he's got one he wants to tie to the stroller. It's the flag of Scotland. Not a bandanna sized one either. A huge freaking flag. When he heard about the fire breathing dragon, all I heard from the other room was mumbling, "Hey, that's a cool idea. Who doesn't love fire breathing dragons."

Looking forward to your report in October!

OMG LOL!!!!

Your family sounds JUST like mine. Unfortunately, my DD started talking a couple years ago so I coundn't blame her anymore. The wife makes a good second choice though.

I'm going to try and wrap this up over the next week. I only have three more trippies to post then the summary.

Thanks for tuning in. I should go back and read my old report. I can't even remember what I wrote.

 

[ncseric]

Unfortunately, my DD started talking a couple years ago so I coundn't blame her anymore.

We have the same problem... all three girls (DDx2 & DW) can deny it.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Your interesting and blatantly honest writing makes me smile...especially the banter between you and Linnie Keep up the entertainment.

Christamae

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Your interesting and blatantly honest writing makes me smile...especially the banter between you and Linnie Keep up the entertainment.

Christamae

You get a good inside look into our "daily" lives. Sad, yes. But entertaining nonetheless.

 

[blue_river]

Have you ever woken up, looked around, and NOT known where in the heck you were?

Yep but that kind of thing only happened in my younger years

I use the facilities, then look at myself in the mirror. I’ve still got my shirt on from the night before but it’s missing two buttons, wrinkled, and has a Frito in the pocket. I’ve got on one sock, bloodshot eyes, and there’s a piece of popcorn wedged between my two front teeth.

Brad Pitt, eat your heart out.

OMG

Oh yeah, we took a cab. Good thinking.

The only way to travel when heading out for a night on the town

Back inside, I begin to search for things that are important to me. First, my watch and wallet. Second, my wife and kids.

I haven't read Lin's rebuttal yet...wondering what she has to say about this one. Me thinks you'll be sleeping in the garage for a period of time. Join the Goofster club

Sometimes, we somehow find a beer or two stuffed in our backpack also. Imagine that?

We can imagine it

As I take my seat, a sharp pain shoots through my body starting from my buttocks region and ending up near my right shoulder blade. Probably the result of a dance move gone awry.

Been there, done that

So far, it’s been incredible. One of the best trips ever. I really think that “winging it” was a good idea. Sometimes we spend an incredible amount of time planning every meal then feel pressured to meet all of our obligations. It gets to be a pain in the rump.

That's great!! I can't help but think that this would be something I'd say after every trip. I understand what you mean about the meals because we found we spent most of our time eating. However, it is also an experience in itself and if you haven't done it before, it becomes a part of the vacation

We ended up spending about 3 hours swimming and having fun. At one point, Pooh came out looking all chipper and asking about lunch. A few minutes later, she was running back to the room with one hand on her mouth and the other on her butt. Good thing the pool area was empty!

Oh no, poor Linnie


Late for this one - but it was great to have some good reading this evening. I really enjoyed this installment

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~ Toe Story ~~~~~

Nobody bothered to ask why my second toe hurt? It was pretty evident why my head throbbed but don’t you people care about my poor little toe?

Ok, “little” is not a good word to describe this toe.

My second toe on my right foot is a bit of monstrosity & there is a whole “toe” story you’ve got to know about. Here’s the skinny: When I was a 10 year old, a bunch of friends and I decided to lift one of those metal trailer ramps you see for hauling around a Bobcat (little tractor). We had it partway up when the gang decided it was a good time to drop it. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t informed of the plan. The ramp fell and clipped the tip of my second toe (which was about the same length as my big toe at the time) and broke it.

I skipped home whimpering and cursing my friends and my mom drove me to the hospital.

Over the course of the next 30 years, my new “mutant” toe took on a life of it’s own. It grew and extra ½ inch for some reason and I think it even spawned an extra knuckle. It’s all very strange and also very amusing to Pooh-head.

I rarely walk around the house barefoot. I’ll always have at least a sock on and possibly slippers or shoes. The reason? Over the years, I’ve caught that big toe on so many things. One time I was coming down the stairs in our old condo where my toe snagged the carpet and went under my foot. This was very painful and caused me to leap from the stairs and topple head over heals all the way to the bottom losing all the laundry I was trying to transport. Pooh still loves that story.

Another time I had a cast on my foot in the army after I had broken it rappelling. With the weight of the cast like a hammer, I accidentally slammed my exposed toe into the leg of a wooden chair and re-broke it! It gained a ¼” after this breakage.

With each “toe” incident, it grows a little. Pretty soon, it may even spawn yet another knuckle. It’s almost a Super Hero Toe now. I’m pretty sure it has bionic powers.

I’ll take a picture and post it for you guys.

So anyway, back to the trip report.

My mutant toe was throbbing for a reason. The toenail was almost ripped off & it was bleeding a little bit. It was also black and blue. Here’s what I believe happened:

A - When I got out of the cab and took the header into the rose bush, I believe it’s because I slammed my foot into the sidewalk curb causing me to trip.

The shoes I brought on this trip are size 10 ½ which is generally my size. Some shoes run a little small however and with my mutant toe, my right foot actually needed an 11 while a 10 ½ was fine for the left foot.

Because of the snug fit and jamming the curb, even with a shoe on, caused severe damage to my Bionic Toe.

A second theory does exist. I could have entered the villa, paid the babysitter, kicked off my shoes, then jammed my toe into the leg of the kitchen table. I noticed a little chip on the leg where something had damaged it. Could have been the toe.

Option #3: Pooh-head could’ve stomped on it with her big MAN-feet during our dirty dancing sequence thus causing my Drunk Guy Dance Move where not only was my toe injured, but also my spinal cord.

Vote for which option you believe most reasonable and that’s the tale I’ll stick with. I’ve got to have a new Toe story but I’m not really sure what happened. I hate it when that happens.

Around dinner time (on Friday) I put my shoes on and limped towards the bedrooms to see who was “down” for some dinner.

Pooh wasn’t interested and Moan Boy does what Pooh does. That left Loud Girl and I.

I loaded up my “date” and we headed towards Crossroads. I wanted a good meal but I didn’t want Pooh to feel left out. If I had gone to eat at Downtown Disney, Pooh woulda been sad. So, LG and I decided it was time to got back to TGI Fridays.

Wooo Hooo!

As we got out of the car in the Fridays parking lot, my elongated toe really started to throb. It was rubbing against the shoe. I had to limp a little and tossed in a pimp-walk just to see how it would look. It looked good.

LG says “Dad, why are you walking like that”. I said, “like what”, and she said, “Like a monkey”. Great! The pimp walk stopped after that.

Our server wasn’t as good as the Sunday before. We had a young guy who had pieced ears and tattoos and was very bold. He talked to us like he’s known us for years, which just irritated me.

I ordered up my Flat Iron Steak, side of shrimp and mashed potatoes. Mmmmm good. I also had a glass of red wine. Fantastic! Loud Girl had the spaghetti and ended up with marinara sauce all over her face and clothes. She looked cute.

Loud Girl was brave with daddy. She even went to the bathroom on her own. She’s growing up so quickly.

After dinner we wandered over to Crossroads shopping center to get some treats for the way home in the morning. Loud Girl asked me if I needed any “sippin’ whiskey”. I told her “no”, that I was fine.

When we arrived back at the room, I found Pooh lying on the couch gnawing on a giant sliver of leftover pepperoni pizza. She looked a lot better. I think she even had a glass of wine next to her but I could be mistaken.

She’d already packed up all our clothes and was ready for the morning commute to the airport.

That evening we experienced that sense of dread about leaving the Happiest Place On Earth. It sucks! I hate that feeling.

When we come down in October, we stay for two weeks. After two weeks, you’re ready to come home and there is no sense of dread. In fact, after two weeks, I can’t wait to get out of town as my carnal feelings of choking Mickey become stronger and stronger.

After only one week however, it’s setting in quickly. The kids are crying, mom is depressed and on an MSG overload hangover, and I’ve got a bloody stump left for a once mighty toe.

We’re a wreck and we don’t want to leave but we have no choice.

Next Up: Things Go Horribly Wrong

 

[Disneyolic]

I’ll take a picture and post it for you guys.

Like totally looking forward to that....I hope I'm not the only wierdo who thinks that...

Still....I'll be the first to say sorry about your toe...I just thought you had the gout!!

When we come down in October, we stay for two weeks. After two weeks, you’re ready to come home and there is no sense of dread. In fact, after two weeks, I can’t wait to get out of town as my carnal feelings of choking Mickey become stronger and stronger.

Just curious...how do you manage the kids being out of school for 2 weeks? Or maybe I missed that somewhere....sorry.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Just curious...how do you manage the kids being out of school for 2 weeks? Or maybe I missed that somewhere....sorry.

DD has been in preschool and my son is in special ed.

We also go during teacher conferences so they really only miss 7 school days.