~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[PittypatBR]

Those are some cute pics!!

 

[Goofster57]

Wow, two pages to catch up on.

Had a really busy last 3-4 days and finally back at work so I can catch up on my Dis stuff

Great updates and Pictures.

And that it's aggravated by nerves. I definitely get more nervous on vacation. The dr. gave me some pills, but they didn't do much on vacation.

Linnie, I think you need to take a vacation and leave the biggest pill at home and see if that helps.


Well I had better pop over to Blue’s Trippie, because I am sure she has finished it by now.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Linnie, I think you need to take a vacation and leave the biggest pill at home and see if that helps.

Hey!!




New trippie coming up shortly!!

 

[Goofster57]

Hey!!

You know if we aren’t careful Linnie, Blue and Sorceress are going to leave us at home with the kids and take a “Girls Only” trip.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

You know if we aren’t careful Linnie, Blue and Sorceress are going to leave us at home with the kids and take a “Girls Only” trip.

I like that idea!! I need a get-away....

Blue-Great picture of Goofy! LA loved it!! She was so happy when she realized someone actually received our cards! She didn't really understand why we bought them or what we did with them-now she does!

 

[blue_river]

You know if we aren’t careful Linnie, Blue and Sorceress are going to leave us at home with the kids and take a “Girls Only” trip

What an awesome idea!!!!!

Blue-Great picture of Goofy! LA loved it!! She was so happy when she realized someone actually received our cards! She didn't really understand why we bought them or what we did with them-now she does!

That's what I was thinking and why I posted it - she's such a cutie

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

I would NEVER go to Disney World without my loving family.

 

[Goofster57]

I would NEVER go to Disney World without my loving family.

Think about it Buzz, you could try all your experiments with out any interference.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~British Citizens & Potato Heads~~~~~~~



As bad as the meal selection was the night before, Pooh woke up in a good mood and ready to have fun. I don’t even think she went to the can once prior to leaving!

Of course, we arrive at the Animal Kingdom for the rope drop. We know it’s going to be busy as it’s now Thursday and crowd levels are supposed to be around 9.

We hatched our plan while waiting in line to go thru the turnstiles.

Mom would grab the two monkeys, rent our stroller, then meet me in front of Kali River Rapids which doesn’t open until 9:30 a.m. I will GAT my way over to Expedition Everest, grab four fast passes, then head to Kali.

It was the perfect plan. Ungowa!!!!!!

After going thru the turnstiles, I leave the clan to fend for themselves. As I walk thru the Oasis towards the bridge, I begin my transformation from “average man” to Buzzila the Hun, GAT-master extraordinaire.

It’s a scary sight as my eyes glaze over, my hat turns sideways, and I begin my pimp-walk. Every once-in-a-while, when appropriate, I flash my gang signs. Yaaaa Boyeeeee!!

I come out of the luscious Oasis area into the open and my jaw drops at the mass of humanity standing before me. There’s thousands of people between the rope (and the opening show that has just started) and the end of the Oasis area. I’ve NEVER seen this many people at Animal Kingdom before. I could hardly believe it.

I immediately start barging thru the throng, working my way towards the front. It’s a good thing I’m alone as my wife would be absolutely horrified by these maneuvers. Anyone who looks at me cross-eyed, I just mumble something about trying to reach my family who are obviously farther up towards the rope. The Canadians suspect nothing!

I’m still working my way towards the front when the rope drops and the huge crowd rushes forward as if charging the stage at a Metallica concert.

I was actually afraid for my life as the mass of humanity began to move all at once. I saw an elderly lady go down in a heap, a trampled squirrel, and numerous wounded toddlers. It was bedlam!

I got my focus back after only a few seconds. I started dodging strollers, stopped tour groups with open park maps, Egg-timers, and belligerent teens. I had to stop short and make a left hand side-step as the mother in front of me thought this a good time to tie her daughter’s shoe. The people behind me, not having the GAT skilllzzzz that I possess, rammed into the mother and all went over in a mass pile.

Stopping now was not an option. A cast member or ambulance was sure to arrive on the scene to mend the wounded rookies. I had fast passes to retrieve and no time to for compassion.

By the time I reached Asia, there was room to move. I increased my stride and measured my speed at close to 6 mph. I must have passed a couple thousand people on my way to Expedition Everest. Still, there were at least 75 people at the Fast Pass kiosks as I expertly picked out the line that would move the fastest.

Again, I was correct.

After gathering my prized tickets, I mosey back towards Kali River, head held high, to meet my tribe. By now the line for Stand By on EE is backed up half way to Kali. I can hardly believe it. Suckers!!!!

It’s now only 9:10 a.m. as I reach my crew. We wander around the Kali area and watch the cute monkeys playing prior to the ride opening. This time there is a cute little light brown baby monkey who is getting a little love & affection from his parents . The older brother is showing off for the small crowd while he wails and swings from tree to tree like it’s nothing. Its good entertainment & one of the few times that we’re stopped in a park and enjoying the surroundings.

I inform Loud Girl that the monkey looks like her uncle Darryl… mommy’s brother.

Loud Girl and I then share a laugh at mommy’s furrowed brow.

It feels like it takes forever until they finally open this ride and at 9:35 they finally do. With our African Safari poncho’s on, we march through the queue of Kali River Rapids amongst the stares and pointing of the multi-national rookies whom have never been on this particular attraction. Petty soon, we’ll be pointing at them!

Usually you can get right on Kali and ride it about 3 times in a row without getting off. Not during spring break though! By the time we ride once, the line is already long.

As we depart the ride, we are now noticing the worried looks of the various vacationers in line who note our soaked raft-mates and enviously eyeball our precious ponchos.

Hint: Ponchos are cheap, lightweight, and stylish. Purchase yours today and take them with you on each and every trip to the Walt Disney World.

I know at this moment our time is limited and we’ll be exiting this park as soon as possible. I’m just not used to this type of crowd conditions. My carnal feelings for homicide have never been stronger.

We ride EE next and love it. Loud Girl is only 5 and she thinks this is the best ride ever (EE Train she calls it). A little confused and discombobulated by the g-forces of EE, we decide to use our tickets to get four more fast passes for EE to ride later in the day. Later we regret this mistake as we should have used our next Fast Passes for Dinosaur.

We are “old timers” in my book. We’ve been coming to Animal Kingdom since the year it opened. Things were much different back then.

There was no Asia back then and Dinoland consisted of Dinosaur and the Dino Dig Sight. That’s it!

There was basically four things to do at AK. You could visit the lamest ride on the planet called Kilimanjaro Safaris where you try to save a fake baby rubber elephant. You could ride Countdown to Extinction. You could watch It’s Tough To Be A Bug. Or, you could go to Disney’s only full-size bar in the theme parks located at Africa. This was my favorite attraction!

What is Countdown to Extinction? Let me tell you young apprentice.

Countdown to Extinction used to be the name for Dinosaur. I’m not exactly sure why they changed it but they did. The ride used to be much different in the early years.

1). When it first opened, William Shatner & Yo Yo Ma narrated the “pre-show”.
2). The tyrannosaurus rex who “roars” at you used to randomly pluck one unsuspecting vacationer from the Time Traveler and swallow them whole.
3). You were searching for Jimmy Hoffa, not some lost plastic dinosaur.

After EE, we head towards Dinoland where we’ll break into two groups. Pooh and MB will hit the “spinny” roller coaster while Loud Girl and I will ride Triceratops Spin (basically Dumbo only with dinosaur cars instead of elephants).

I don’t do the “spinny” roller coaster as I have a tendency to topple over in a heap upon exiting.

After Triceratops Spin, Loud Girl and I walk over to the little store where Dinosaur dumps you and I let her build her own Potato Head. It’s so cute to watch her as she works so hard to build her little potato guy and then proudly displays him to me.

When she’s done, she wants to me purchase her Potato Head guy. The problem is we only have ONE bag and I know it’s already jammed. I told her she’d have to leave the Potato Head guy in the store and she started cry. I felt horrible but didn’t cave. Remember, I am “man”.

We walked out of the store just as MB and Pooh were exiting the “spinny” roller coaster. To get their attention, I do a little “jig” much to Pooh’s horror.

Loud Girl was now fully recovered after being denied her Potato Guy and we head over to the Dino Dig Site where we turn the kids “loose”.

30 minutes in the Dig Site is enough for the kids so we head over to have lunch at the Flametree BBQ. A beer and a pulled pork sandwich is just what the doctor ordered. I feel good by this point but the baked beans would be barking by dinner time.

After lunch it’s time to leave. Yes, we’ve only been here a couple hours and NO we didn’t do the safari ride this year. The rubber elephant will have to be saved by someone else.

As we leave the park for home, we hand our second set of EE Fast Passes to a British group who are so happy to receive the gift, you’d think they had just won the lottery. I offer them the stroller also but they decline.

Why can’t we give our stroller away!?!? People, listen to me. You are NOT breaking any rules by accepting a free stroller. Nobody should ever deny a free stroller even if you don’t have any kids. It has many uses including, but not limited to, clearing paths at the rope drop & keeping track of intoxicated spouses. At $15 per day, you’d be crazy not to.

We head back to the room for a quick swim and get ready for our big night out.

Next Up: Exit Light, Enter Night

 

[MARY-IN-OH]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~British Citizens & Potato Heads~~~~~~~
a Metallica concert.

Next Up: Exit Light, Enter Night

Yeah, thanks...Now I'll have it stuck in my head the rest of the day! It's cool though. Continue.... And Rock on! Can't wait for more
-mary

 

[KathyRN137]

I begin my transformation from “average man” to Buzzila the Hun, GAT-master extraordinaire. ....

It’s a scary sight as my eyes glaze over, my hat turns sideways, and I begin my pimp-walk. Every once-in-a-while, when appropriate, I flash my gang signs. Yaaaa Boyeeeee!! .......

I immediately start barging thru the throng, working my way towards the front. It’s a good thing I’m alone as my wife would be absolutely horrified by these maneuvers.......

I started dodging strollers, stopped tour groups with open park maps, Egg-timers, and belligerent teens. I had to stop short and make a left hand side-step as the mother in front of me thought this a good time to tie her daughter’s shoe........

By the time I reached Asia, there was room to move. I increased my stride and measured my speed at close to 6 mph.....

...... I have a tendency to topple over in a heap upon exiting......

To get their attention, I do a little “jig” much to Pooh’s horror.....

This is almost as dramatic as watching Bill Bixby turn into Lou Farregno!!!

Buzz-Man, you are just chock full o' moves!!


Kathy

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Think about it Buzz, you could try all your experiments with out any interference.

I dang near spit my wine out all over my NEW keyboard and mouse when I read that!! Interference!!

And just for the record-Buzz DOES go to WDW without his loving family. When I couldn't go because I was 8 months pregnant with his 2nd child, he totally abandoned me in my very uncomfortable condition and went with his sister!!!!

I kept hoping I'd have the baby early so it'd teach him a valuable lesson. In hindsight, having him witness that birth was punishment enough!!!!

And the next year, when DS was too crazy and DD was too young for me to want to fly with, he went with his brother!! Again, hanging out with his brother at WDW-punishment enough. Lesson learned the hard way for Buzz.

And there were other times he went there without me-he always has some dumb excuse like, "I'm checking into (insert lame excuse here)" so I'll agree to let him go. Little does he know what I do when he's gone.

 

[csuzannet]

I had to stop short and make a left hand side-step as the mother in front of me thought this a good time to tie her daughter’s shoe. The people behind me, not having the GAT skilllzzzz that I possess, rammed into the mother and all went over in a mass pile.

It never ceases to amaze me that people over the age of 10 can be so unaware of themselves in a crowd. Full stops, dawdling, trailing cigarette ashes, errant F-bombs that make my niece's eyes go wide, and other crowd-irresponsible behavior makes me twitch!

Hilarious reporting as always!

 

[Goofster57]

I dang near spit my wine out all over my NEW keyboard and mouse when I read that!! Interference!!

Now, I wasn’t necessarily referring to you.

Little does he know what I do when he's gone.

Was that you on that “Montanans” gone wild video?

 

[ILuvWishes!]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~British Citizens & Potato Heads~~~~~~~

What is Countdown to Extinction? Let me tell you young apprentice.

Countdown to Extinction used to be the name for Dinosaur. I’m not exactly sure why they changed it but they did. The ride used to be much different in the early years.

Let me fill you in..... They changed the name from Count Down to Dinosaur because of the movie Dinosaur. It is a movie staring Allador (spelling??), the dinosaur that we "bring home with us". I liked the ride much better when it was called Count Down. I think they "tamed the beast" a little for the littler riders.

My DH and I also have been going to AK since the opening. Our 1st visit AK was during our Disneymoon before their official opening (I think they call it a soft opening or something like that).

Another great installment! I hope you had a great night out....

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Now, I wasn’t necessarily referring to you.

Well if ya were, it's one of the nicer things I've been called...

Was that you on that “Montanans” gone wild video?

I didn't know there was a video camera. I deny everything. I know nothing. I never did that.

Btw, did I mention Buzz is going to WDW without me AGAIN?! On a "business" trip with his sister. Sometime this fall I think. Oh, but he has so much more fun with us.... uh huh.... sure....

 

[Goofster57]

I didn't know there was a video camera. I deny everything. I know nothing. I never did that.

I knew it, when I saw that women all decked out in camouflage skinning and quartering that deer carcass I had a feeling I recognized her…

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I knew it, when I saw that women all decked out in camouflage skinning and quartering that deer carcass I had a feeling I recognized her…

Us Montana folk know how to live it up!

 

[blue_river]

After going thru the turnstiles, I leave the clan to fend for themselves. As I walk thru the Oasis towards the bridge, I begin my transformation from “below-average man” to Buzzila the Hoodlum, GAT-mediocre extremist.

I would love to see this transformation

It’s a scary sight as my eyes glaze over, my hat turns sideways, and I begin my pimp-walk. Every once-in-a-while, when appropriate, I flash my gang signs. Yaaaa Boyeeeee!!

I don't know you do it Linnie

Anyone who looks at me cross-eyed, I just mumble something about trying to reach my family who are obviously farther up towards the rope. The Canadians suspect nothing!

We just let you think that

That way we can catch you off guard

Speaking of Canadians, I want to post a joke here that my dad sent me the other day:

A couple from Montana decided to go to Canada for their holidays one summer. They drove north across the border, stopped at a dinosaur park, then continued northeast. After driving for a couple of days, they realized they were lost. They found a small city, and pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions.
"Hey buddy, can you tell us where we are?"
The pedestrian smiled, said "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan", and went on his way.
The driver turned to his wife and said "Well, we still don't know where we are. He doesn't even speak English."

I had to stop short and make a left hand side-step as the mother in front of me thought this a good time to tie her daughter’s shoe. The people behind me, not having the GAT skilllzzzz that I possess, rammed into the mother and all went over in a mass pile.

I've done this because I often don't look where I'm going

I inform Loud Girl that the monkey looks like her uncle Darryl… mommy’s brother.

Loud Girl and I then share a laugh at mommy’s furrowed brow.

You nut.

Ponchos are cheap, lightweight, and stylish. Purchase yours today and take them with you on each and every trip to the Walt Disney World.

What you should be saying is "Don't forget to pack them when you head out to the parks"

Again, you had me roaring with laughter with your update

Btw, did I mention Buzz is going to WDW without me AGAIN?! On a "business" trip with his sister. Sometime this fall I think. Oh, but he has so much more fun with us.... uh huh.... sure

That just ain't right

Was that you on that “Montanans” gone wild video?

Goofster, you're too funny!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

A couple from Montana decided to go to Canada for their holidays one summer. They drove north across the border, stopped at a dinosaur park, then continued northeast. After driving for a couple of days, they realized they were lost. They found a small city, and pulled over to ask a pedestrian for directions.
"Hey buddy, can you tell us where we are?"
The pedestrian smiled, said "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan", and went on his way.
The driver turned to his wife and said "Well, we still don't know where we are. He doesn't even speak English."

LOL!!

My question is this: Once they hit the small city, shouldn't they have picked up a road map and some beer?