~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~ Bonus Material Included ~~~~~~

[blue_river]

I gotta take Moan Boy for his therapy, then I'll get to work on this!

Looking forward to your next surprise!

All you need are the cabaña girls to peel those grapes for you and pop your beer open and your set.

Grapes and Beer

I was thinking Linnie should be feeding him those grapes!

 

[Goofster57]

I was thinking Linnie should be feeding him those grapes!

I don’t know how safe that would be (see below)

You think he'd enjoy the silence, but he pesters me constantly, "What's wrong? Why're you so quiet? How come you're not talking? Why're you so cranky?"

after listening to MDF moan and gripe over and over that scurvy was setting in,

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

You forgot those Orange Slice candies with all the sugar on them

According to my 15 y/o ds those fruity Mike and Ike candies count as fruit servings too!

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Darn! I forgot all about those fruity Mike & Ike's and those candy orange slices

Hey Montana,

I was looking at my trip photos and found this pic of my kid, and something really scary!!!!

OMG!! That's him!!! That's the man-eating duck who tried to kill my wife!!

Looking forward to your next surprise!

Wait until you see the pictures of us on our big night out w/o the kids!! Some we won't be able to post due to decency laws.

 

[blue_river]

I don’t know how safe that would be (see below)

I see your point

Wait until you see the pictures of us on our big night out w/o the kids!! Some we won't be able to post due to decency laws.

There's always PM's

BTW - DH and I are going to go out w/o the girls this time. Any place you might recommend?

 

[eagles]

i just sat here all morning reading every word! great trip report, and i can't wait for more.

the sad part is after reading yours and some others with a good sense of humour, i have to go down in 14 days with a non humouris husband, he just wont get any of this.

 

[Goofster57]

Wait until you see the pictures of us on our big night out w/o the kids!! Some we won't be able to post due to decency laws.

I think those would belong over on the "Community Board" with the stuff that is on there they wouldn't be given a second thought.

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

i just sat here all morning reading every word! great trip report, and i can't wait for more.

the sad part is after reading yours and some others with a good sense of humour, i have to go down in 14 days with a non humouris husband, he just wont get any of this.

Humor is what makes the world go round. When I can't laugh at myself, I usually just look around the room and something usually pops up.

Goof, I think Don Imus will probably be headed that way (community boards) since he's now officially "job-less". Who's nappy-headed now!!! LOL

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Ok, I have a LOT to say about this report

My sister is just completing her 3rd degree at NYU in Manhattan (my wife claims her next degree will officially make her a “princess” ).

I did NOT say this!

As I lay there, I begin to really worry about my health and let my thoughts run away from me. We’ve recently signed an insurance policy on me for the family and I’ve noticed that lately, when I share a bottle of wine with my wife, mine tastes an awful lot like anti-freeze. I thought it was just my taste buds changing due to age.

It’s totally true, although the taste is in my glass too. Anyone know why this would be? I wash our wine glasses in the dish washer and when I put wine in them, they smell like rancid dishwater. We have to rinse them out with scalding hot water and dry them out with paper towels before we use them-after we wash them. I can’t use citrus detergent b/c of my flatware that I use, but I’ve tried other kinds of detergent and it still happens. I bought new glasses and it still happens, although not as often. It doesn’t happen with our drinking glasses. It’s weird…I have to wash them by hand now. Which I don't like.

What would I do without Buzz? Where would I get my laughs from and WHO would plan our WDW trips and write the TR’s??? I don’t want to be cashing in on that insurance, believe me. I like my life just as it is. Mostly.

I got up out of bed and stumbled for the kitchen. Coffee is needed for me to function properly.

No coffee for me thanks. Too upsetting to my system.

About that time, the stunningly beautiful and extremely charismatic Pooh -head comes wandering out and complains of not feeling well. I tell her that scurvy is setting in and she looks at me as you would a dim-witted 9 year old, “We don’t have scurvy you imbecile”. Ouch! She’s crabby!!

I don’t think I used the word imbecile. Something nice maybe.

When my wife is sick, not only is she mean, she’s irrational. In her book, she only gets sick from three things:

1). MSG
2). MSG
3). Half-Cooked sausage laced with MSG

I’m not joking at all either. She always blames MSG. Whether it’s MSG in her wine, on her pizza, or on her fish & chips, it’s always this Japanese preservative that is giving her fits.

Wine doesn’t have MSG, you imbecile. It has sulfites and that’s what makes me sick.

And the MSG DOES make me sick!! I eat MSG and I’m a hurting unit.

Everybody, say it with me, it rhymes: MSG equals B-A-D.
(I just wanted to use the cheerleader smilie)

We end up missing the rope-drop due to an unscheduled pit stop for mom. Loud Girl went in to retrieve her mother three times yelling “Mom, come on. The park is open”!!!

Due to this ill-advised intermission, Pooh-head and Moan Boy end up about 956th in line for RRC.

Yeah, not a good time for a bathroom break.

Pooh should have an entire segment dedicated to the horror’s of standing in line at the RRC.

Oh good grief. I couldn’t believe when I walked up to the ride. The line was clear back to ToT. I even said out loud, “This can’t be the line??!!” It was.

We waited for about 25 mins and the line surged forward a bit. We were moving. Not! It was the doors to the ride opening. The ride didn’t open until about 9:30 and that was what the surge was. We waited another 10 mins and then things started to finally actually, really move.

I wasn’t sick to my stomach. I was just praying I wouldn’t have to leave the line to run to the bathroom. Moan Boy would NOT like that. And if we left the line, we weren’t coming back. Now you might wonder why I didn’t just bag it and get the FP? Buzz had our tickets so even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t have gotten an FP. Not a good plan. Oh well.

I have a bad back and all this standing was killing my lower back. I finally got to the point in line where I could sit on the cement ledge and Moan Boy joined me. We got a nice rest, felt rejuvenated, then the line started moving again.

When splitting up in the park it’s advisable to have a method of communication, preferably two cell phones. It’s even more advisable to actually have your cell phone turned “on”.

It was on-I just couldn’t hear the stupid thing over all the WDW commotion.

We finally get inside the alley of the ride and Trey starts to whine and act like he doesn’t want to go on the ride. By now, we’ve waited 45 minutes and there is NO way we aren’t going on the ride. I tell him he’ll be fine, remind him he’s ridden it a bunch before and also remind him this was his idea!! Let's Ride!!!

We get in our limo and pull around to the countdown area. With Aerosmith blaring in my ears, I’m happy and eagerly waiting for our launch. We aren’t moving. The countdown is not starting. At that point, I hear a CM talking and I look around to see who or what is holding up the ride and it’s me and Moan Boy!! Trey has his hands on his ears, his AU defense mechanism when he’s scared. So he isn’t holding onto the bars over his shoulders and the CM is wisely trying to get him to hold on. I spring into action and force Trey to hold the bar, but he immediately takes his hands off and covers his ears. This scene was repeated about 5 times.

The CM keeps talking to him and I’m starting to panic, thinking we’ll have to get off the ride and then really cause a scene-and not get to ride. I keep telling the CM “He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.” The CM says, “Well, he’s not talking.” Oops. I forgot that to everyone else, Trey looks like an average kid.

“He’s handicapped,” I tell him. Ordinarily I do not use that word. I stick to People First language as I learned in college and say he has a disability. But I felt I needed to let the CM know in a blunt way what was going on. So I pulled out the “H-bomb.”

All of a sudden, the people in front of me turned around (as best they could while being pinned down in the restraints) and I realized how mean that must’ve sounded. We’re going on this wild roller coaster ride-they probably wondered what kind of deranged mother takes her “handicapped” son on it when he clearly wasn’t wanting to go on it. But I knew he did. I didn’t know why he was acting that way. It was his idea!

So the CM says, “Oh, will he be all right?” “Oh yeah, he’ll be just fine.” Why I didn’t think to tell him he’s been on it tons before I don’t know, but it seemed to satisfy the CM and next thing I knew, we were go for launch.

If Trey likes a ride, he jumps and skips and is happy when he gets off. He did not do this. I think next time we’ll just skip RnR. I’ll tell him it’s broken.

After the Mermaid show, I attempt to call my wife and it goes straight to voice mail. I grab Loud Girl, toss her in the stroller, and we quickly cross the park and grab 4 fast passes for Star Tours.

Trey was disappointed he missed the Ariel show. My sweet little 7 year old boy that loves the mermaid.

… so ordering a beer was the natural way to celebrate.

Eek. I couldn’t even stand the smell of beer and by this point in our trip, I’d totally given up the coffee too. But not the wine!!

MGM is fun. I like it. I really want to do the 50’s restaurant after KathyRN’s description of it. I forgot to tell Kathy that I do the same thing her DH does. I eat my food one at a time too, only I start with the veggies, go to the starch, then finish up with the meat. Odd, I know. Buzz used to really make fun of me for this. But now he’s moved on to my other quirks.

I really love the Muppet show, but I wish they’d get more merchandise and bring back the PVC Muppet figures. Those were great.

Anyone know what the Narnia attraction will be like? I’m really curious.

I love Rosie’s. Those hamburgers rock!! Trey was starting to turn like mayonnaise in the sun so we headed back after this. I fired up My Li’l Reminder, found the car with NO problem (take that, Buzz) and we were on our way back to rest and relax.

 

[KathyRN137]

The CM keeps talking to him and I’m starting to panic, thinking we’ll have to get off the ride and then really cause a scene-and not get to ride. I keep telling the CM “He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.” The CM says, “Well, he’s not talking.” Oops. I forgot that to everyone else, Trey looks like an average kid. .....


.... I really want to do the 50’s restaurant after KathyRN’s description of it. I forgot to tell Kathy that I do the same thing her DH does. I eat my food one at a time too, only I start with the veggies, go to the starch, then finish up with the meat. Odd, I know. Buzz used to really make fun of me for this. But now he’s moved on to my other quirks.

Lin,

We're so used to our kids and their quirks; that's why I totally understand when people get confused.... They do look so normal to the casual observer!

Not everyone "gets it" when you say, "Oh, sorry, my son is autistic." (They immediately think of Rainman!) Sometimes the blunt approach is needed!

I really hope you guys try the PTC; I think you would have a blast! (At least you don't have to worry about your waiter having to feed you your veggies!) Of course, you do have to worry about your shy and retiring hubby....

Think of me when you are enjoying your Dad's Electric Lemonade!

Patiently waiting for more...

Kathy

 

[blue_river]

What would I do without Buzz? Where would I get my laughs from and WHO would plan our WDW trips and write the TR’s??? I don’t want to be cashing in on that insurance, believe me. I like my life just as it is. Mostly.

Beeeaaaaaauuuuuuuutiful Linnie

We finally get inside the alley of the ride and Trey starts to whine and act like he doesn’t want to go on the ride. By now, we’ve waited 45 minutes and there is NO way we aren’t going on the ride. I tell him he’ll be fine, remind him he’s ridden it a bunch before and also remind him this was his idea!! Let's Ride!!!

I wouldn't have waited that long - I have no patience at all.

“He’s handicapped,” I tell him. Ordinarily I do not use that word. I stick to People First language as I learned in college and say he has a disability. But I felt I needed to let the CM know in a blunt way what was going on. So I pulled out the “H-bomb.” ... I realized how mean that must’ve sounded.

You're a wonderful mother Linnie
Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

But not the wine!!

I'm with you on that one!!

Anyone know what the Narnia attraction will be like? I’m really curious.

Wasn't it open? I thought it was open when we were there because I remember being disappointed that we missed it

 

[Goofster57]

I don’t think I used the word imbecile. Something nice maybe.

Wine doesn’t have MSG, you imbecile. It has sulfites and that’s what makes me sick.

Trey was disappointed he missed the Ariel show. My sweet little 7 year old boy that loves the mermaid.

Like his father Trey has impeccable taste

I really want to do the 50’s restaurant after KathyRN’s description of it.

I really hope you guys try the PTC; I think you would have a blast! (At least you don't have to worry about your waiter having to feed you your veggies!) Of course, you do have to worry about your shy and retiring hubby....

We have been twice and it is great, I think the food is good, it’s no Le Cellier, but with the right group and server it can be unforgettable

I fired up My Li’l Reminder, found the car with NO problem (take that, Buzz)

Score another one for “As Seen on TV”

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

I don’t think I used the word imbecile. Something nice maybe


Wine doesn’t have MSG, you imbecile.

Hey!!


Pretty funny though. Good one Pooh-fer-brains!

 

[Tissa]

OMG!!! You guys are just too funny This is the best trip report EVER!!
I also have an AU Moan Boy, and I have to say Trey is a real trooper.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

I love your trip report. You are very hilarious

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

Like his father Trey has impeccable taste

Oh ya man. That Mermaid is HOT!!!

Trey was disappointed he missed the Ariel show.

Who the heck is Ariel???

 

[Montana Disney Fan]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Legos & Sausage~~~~~~~~

After a good long rest, we head off to Downtown Disney. It’s around 4:45 p.m. & we’re going to see if we can dine Disney-style at the Portabella Yacht Club which is right next to the Fulton’s Crab House (the big boat).

Those that have never eaten at this restaurant, I highly recommend it.

We’ve never eaten here before and wanted to give it a look-see. I knew trying to eat at any Epcot restaurant during Spring Break without Priority Seating would simply be a waste of time. They’d be jammed with tired toddlers, angry parents, and rookie Canadians.

However, I also knew that many of the resort restaurants (and DTD restaurants) would probably be slow if we went really early. Those restaurants rarely fill up early so when you don’t have a PS arrangement, one of these can be a good bet.

Eating early is good for our family anyway. For some reason, Moan Boy is similar to a werewolf (ok, not similar, but I’ve always wanted to work a werewolf into my trip report). I’m pretty sure all those cigars and tacos my wife consumed during pregnancy had something to do with it.

When the sun goes down, Moan Boy is done for the day. He wants to be in the hotel room, jammies on, and watching TV or playing with his Gameboy. He does NOT want to be out doing stuff.

We roll into the restaurant around 5 p.m. and there are only 4 or 5 tables with patrons sitting at them. I ask if they’ll sit four of us out on the patio near the lake and they promptly take care of us. The view was incredible as it was a gorgeous day outside.

The bus boy shows up with bread and water almost immediately and is soon followed by an excellent waiter who brings us a nice bottle of Chianti.

Looking at the menu, I’m pleased to note that the fare is mostly Italian (or Mediterranean for you fancy people).

I quickly locate a selection of bow tie pasta with chicken served in a light cream sauce with vegetables. Not the healthiest thing in the world, but better than a lot of others. The veggies should help keep my recent bout of scurvy at bay.

Some of you have read my other reports and some of you haven’t. Those that haven’t may have picked up on the little subtle hints I’ve made about my wife’s gastro-intestinal functions (or dis-functions). I’ve been a lot more subtle this report vs. others due to complaints about my “potty talk”.

So, knowing that, you’ll be absolutely horrified to know that my wife ordered the rigatoni with sausage meat sauce and peppers!!!!

I roll my eyes back & think to myself “It Begins”.

If you remember correctly, she wasn’t feeling too good this morning. The MSG-laced fish & chips from the night before had darn near done her in. Exactly what she was thinking was anybody’s guess. All I knew for certain was tomorrow’s escapade into the Animal Kingdom was sure to be doomed to toiletcoasters and penguin walks.

Last but not least, Pooh and I split a side of asparagus. The split didn’t go as I’d hoped as she ate all of it before I even had a single noodle swallowed off my entree.

I must tell you all that it was one of our finest dining experiences EVER at WDW. I highly recommend going with your family. Unless it’s too hot, sit out on the patio and enjoy the evening as we did. If you don’t have Priority Seating, just go early. You won’t regret it.

I still say that if you have just one night out alone with your significant other, you should always to go the California Grill then stay and watch the fireworks over MK from the balcony afterwards (that’s for you blue_ster). They pipe in the music to the restaurant so you get the best experience possible of this wonderful show (called Wishes I think). I’ll have more on the Cal Grill later as that’s exactly where Pooh & I went for dinner Thursday after AK.

When we finished dinner we decided to hit DTD and maybe catch a margarita (Cpt. Jack’s is da best). First though we had to stop at the Lego Land store and let the kids go down the slide and steal (I mean “Play” with) the display Lego’s located outside.

After about 20 minutes, I ventured into the Lego store for the first time ever. What an awesome store! It was pure chaos, but a totally unbelievable store.

As a kid, I loved Legos. I could make the most awesome space ships out of Legos. I also saw Star Wars at least 40 times.

At this Lego store they have bins of hard to find parts all lined up on one wall. I grabbed a little container and started loading up on the hard to find pieces that would help me construct better space ships upon our return home.

At one point Loud Girl came over to ask me a question. I waved her off with a grunt a mumbled something like “…can’t talk… busy”. A few minutes later I heard Pooh tell her “…don’t worry LeeAndra, daddy’s an idiot”.

After I’d filled up my Lego container, I ventured towards another area of the store that had a large bin of Lego “guys”. Right on top was a totally cool space “guy” with a “choice” helmet, a light saber, and the coolest uniform.

At that moment I spied a 9 year-old red headed boy wearing a Battlestar Galactica shirt approximately the same distance from the Lego “guy” bin as me. He had spotted the exact same guy!! I looked at him… He looked at me… and the race was on!!

I used to be an Olympic athlete. No, I never participated in the Olympics, but I was of the same caliber if you get my meaning. I played hockey, football, track, baseball, soccer, and also skied. I was as nimble as a spry Ninja. Sadly, those days are long gone.

Now I’m forty, bloated from pasta & an ill advised vacation diet, plus I’ve got half a quart of red wine in me. Spry is no longer an adjective used when describing Buzzila.

Needless to say, I lost the battle for the prized Lego space “guy” and was forced to settle for some plain old “blue” guy with a normal helmet and just a laser blaster in his hand.

By the time we left the store, we had $70 worth of Legos. I felt like they were mine. I was the only one who felt this way.

We decided that if we let the kids play with them (including me) we’d just lose them in the condo so we packed them up in the bag to be played with upon our return home on Saturday.

We settled into the room for the evening, watched some Seinfeld then hit the sack. We never did get to Capt. Jacks for a margarita. No big deal. We had found some awesome Legos which you can enjoy for a long time.

Tomorrow was Thursday and Animal Kingdom. Tomorrow night we had a baby-sitter coming so mom and dad could go out to dinner and party at Pleasure Island. Little did we know that Thursday would be our last trip to the theme parks.

Next Up: British Citizens & Potato Heads

 

[pixie dust 112]

Buzz~

You're keeping me rolling! You and DISUNC have to get together he's obsessed with Legos also!

Linnie~ Can't wait to hear your version! But I don't know how you're going to be able to explain away your dinner choice .

 

[KathyRN137]

~
I still say that if you have just one night out alone with your significant other, you should always to go the California Grill then stay and watch the fireworks over MK from the balcony afterwards (that’s for you blue_ster). They pipe in the music to the restaurant so you get the best experience possible of this wonderful show (called Wishes I think). I’ll have more on the Cal Grill later as that’s exactly where Pooh & I went for dinner Thursday after AK.

Yay! I can't wait to read that...Ed and I are considering a "date night" (well, dinner date, anyway!) on our next trip and we may do the Cali!

And it was sweet of you to let that little boy have the cool space guy; we know you did it on purpose

I'm glad its the weekend...hopefully we'll get the next installment soon!

Kathy

 

[jcc0621]

~ The Man Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~2007~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Legos & Sausage~~~~~~~~

The bus boy shows up with bread and water almost immediately and is soon followed by an excellent waiter who brings us a nice bottle of Chianti.

I was expecting some fava beans with the Chianti