The Losers~Dishes can wait, life can't. Come sit a spell! Winners should walk away.

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

Oh my. I've had an interesting 20 minutes.

My satellite internet starts acting up, and I can't do anything online.

So I figure, I'll go look for some batteries while I'm waiting for the satellite to straighten itself out, so I can make sure my keyboard doesn't die at some inoppurtune moment.

I go into the pantry, and of course the batteries aren't where they're supposed to be. So I start rummaging around, find an empty Cheerio's box, hand it to my DS3, and tell him to throw it away.

I spy a loose battery on the pantry floor!! Cool, I'm wondering what the chances are that I can find 3 more runaway batteries.

I start moving stuff around, empty bags that we save for who knows what reason, 40 rolls of toilet paper, ooooooooooooh, looky, runaway battery number 2!!

I find a bag of old Halloween candy (ACK!) somewhere in the back, and HEY! ANOTHER BATTERY!

And then I swear, something hissed at me. Well, I wasn't about to waste any time sharing a small, cramped space with some freaky snake, so I hauled it out of there, grabbing my survival kit before slamming the pantry door shut.

I spent the next three minutes, doing the heeby jeeby dance. You know the kind, where your body involuntarily jumps and jiggles, trying to get the ew-yucky-vibes off?

I look back at the pantry, and decide that the snake can stay there until DH gets home because no way am I trying to pit myself against that nasty hissing creature.

I take my survival kit, and steal the batteries out of there, so now I have 5!! And yes, I know, what am I thinking, what if I need those batteries, but really, it's a survival kit for the jet-ski, with a flashlight/batteries/waterproof matches/some thermal poncho thing to keep you dry and warm, etc.

It's for the jet-ski's, and it's in my pantry. Not really doing me any good if I get stranded on some deserted island, now is it?

So, I come into the office, start taking the old batteries out of the keyboard, and my DS3 comes in and he's freaking out about something being closed. He's extremely animate that I need to come check it out.

I follow him...as he heads out the door, across the deck, and down the stairs.

I ask, "What the heck are you doing?"

"My not doin nuttin. Come on."

I continue to follow him. We walk to the end of the road, where he points to the trash can that got put out yesterday for trash day, and the empty box of cheerio's I had given him earlier. He was trying to get the box into the trash can, but couldn't open the lid.

Oh. My. God. My son took the empty box to the edge of the road all by himself to throw it away. I had meant for him to throw it in the trash can in the kitchen, and I didn't even notice that he went OUTSIDE!! To the ROAD!! By HIMSELF!!

We come back inside, and I have to go to the bathroom. As I'm sitting on the toilet, I happen to notice something.

Something yellow.

In my bathtub.

SOMEONE PEED IN MY TUB!!!!!!!!!

I guarentee it is not my son, so that means that one of our pets is climbing into the bathtub and peeing in there.

I just KNEW this was not going to be a good day.

Sorry in advance for posting such a horribly long post, but I'm Shore, that's what I do.

I thought my day was bad

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

Clam chowder done for dinner - in the crockpot keeping warm and cooling off a yellow cake fresh out of the oven. I just didn't have it in me to make choc. chip cookies from scratch so did a box cake mix instead

I don't wanna go to work tonight Buuuuuttttt, I got my promotion at my day job and start next week M-F 8A-3PM so I cut back on my retail job to 1 night and 1 weekend day If things go smoothly I will quit my retail job in the fall alltogether, but I don't want to leave there till I know I am happy with the day thing.

 

[fltwinmom]

I just got done blowing the innards out of 18 chicken eggs.

I feel like barfing

 

[RVGal]

Now is as good a time as any!!

This was many years ago and I get the request every now and then from a friend to send it out again, so I typed it up and saved it. My husband's name is Brad and I'm not going to go through the thing and change "Brad" to "DH" all over the place. If you guys are going to stalk me based on our first names and regional location, give me fair warning, okay?

The Bat Story

For several nights one week, I was sure I had heard a weird noise after we went to bed. On Friday and Saturday night that week, I was sure that I heard something flying around in our bedroom. I told Brad and he assured me that he didn’t hear anything and basically that I was nuts.

Sunday night Brad went to bed about 9:30pm. I stayed up until about 11pm and, even though I wasn't sleepy yet, I decided I'd try going to bed. I got up off the couch and walked past the TV and through the guest bedroom to the kitchen doorway and stopped. A movement, shadowy-like, had caught my attention.

I stood there a few seconds before I looked up and it registered what I was looking at. There was a bat circling around the light in the kitchen. A BAT... you understand... a freaking BAT... B - A - T ... as in a hanging-upside-down-creature-of-the-night BAT. I don't care if it was just an insect eating fruit bat... it was in MY KITCHEN!

I walked back through the den (whimpering the whole time) and got to the doorway of our bedroom. I yelled, "BRAD" and when I got the sleepy, "Yeah" answer back I proceeded to explain to him that there was a bat in the kitchen.... something completely calm like, "Get out here now! There's a freaking bat flying around in the kitchen and I'm not moving until you get it!"

Well, to his credit, he got up immediately and stumbled into the kitchen.
You have to get the mental picture here... he's got that "Gerber Baby" bed-head thing that happens to his hair at night... his eyes are all bloodshot and barely open... and he's completely naked... standing in the kitchen looking at me like I'm insane. He looks up and around and... you guessed it... no sign of a flying bat... nothing. I'm still huddled at the doorway, so I tell him, "There is a BAT in this house and you can't go back to bed until you find it." (understand that the only thing that matters to me at this point is getting the creepy flying thing out of the house)

Just as he was giving me that condescending male grin... you know, that "probably just a moth" grin... he looks up and sees the bat. It has decided to settle on the chimney of the fireplace in the kitchen. Who knows, maybe my screaming stunned it, but the important thing is that Brad has now seen the bat. It has been confirmed that the bat exists and that it is in the house. Brad looks at me... scratching his completely naked butt... and says, "Hmmmm, how am I supposed to catch that?" I think my reply was something like, "How should I know? I saw the bat. I woke you up. I pointed out the bat to you. I'm pretty sure my job here is done."

He looks around and spots our dog's pet taxi and you can just see the lightbulb go on over his head. "Ah-ha, I'll use this", he says. I'm thinking, "Use it how? Beat the bat to death with it?", but I didn't say a word... he's dealing with it, so I'm not going to disturb him.

He drags a chair over to the chimney and climbs up on it. Once again, you have to get the mental picture... Brad's naked, balancing on a chair, holding the pet taxi for our 75 pound dog and looking intently at this bat clinging to the chimney. I wish I'd taken a picture.

Anyway, I now realize that his intent is to CATCH the freaking bat in the pet taxi. Needless to say, I supported his efforts by running away and closing myself off in the bathroom where the bat couldn't possible get me when it started flying around again (not that I didn't have faith in Brad's plan or anything). So, from the safety of the bathroom I hear the banging of the pet taxi, some assorted grunts and swear words, and finally Brad proclaims, "I got it!"

I leave the bathroom only to be greeted with Brad's presentation of the bat in the pet taxi. The bat is clinging to the wire door and not looking happy. Okay, maybe I'm just guessing at the not happy part, but still... it was clinging to the door.

Brad feels the need to share his conquest with me like a 10-year-old boy would. He describes to me in detail how he caught the bat while shoving the cage in my face. I feel the need to get the freaking bat out of the house. So, he takes the pet taxi outside (yes, still naked) and releases the bat. Again, I'm safely behind closed doors inside the house. He comes back inside and proceeds to strut around the kitchen like he just won the World's Strongest Man competition. I had to tell him repeatedly what a manly guy he was for defeating the bat.

 

[Mkrop]

ok your bat story is better than mine. Had a bat in our finished basement. DH almost got attacked thing started swooping. He threw a blanket over it and wrapped it in blanket and threw it outside. Blanket wound up in the trash. Dh was fully clothed.

Just not the same

 

[Jack-Jack]

This thread is now 2/25ths full. Looks like we'll need new threads every month. Dang. Didn't this thread start yesterday? And we're on page 21?? DANG!

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I can't believe how fast this thread is moving. Are y'all trying to set a record or something?

I like animal-in-the-house stories. Tricia, that was a funny story. The only thing that would have made it better is pictures. I mean... not that I want to see your husband naked... I mean, it would just be funny... oh, never mind.

 

[nataliela]

We had our stew..it was pretty good considering I don't know how to make it. I just put lots of hot sauce on mine. That's another southern thing, hot sauce on everything.

I don't, but my husband surely does! I bought him a GALLON of tabasco before...I thought he would have died and gone to heaven when he saw it!

The Bat Story


Well, to his credit, he got up immediately and stumbled into the kitchen.
You have to get the mental picture here... he's got that "Gerber Baby" bed-head thing that happens to his hair at night... his eyes are all bloodshot and barely open... and he's completely naked... standing in the kitchen looking at me like I'm insane. He looks up and around and... you guessed it... no sign of a flying bat... nothing. I'm still huddled at the doorway, so I tell him, "There is a BAT in this house and you can't go back to bed until you find it." (understand that the only thing that matters to me at this point is getting the creepy flying thing out of the house)

Just as he was giving me that condescending male grin... you know, that "probably just a moth" grin... he looks up and sees the bat. It has decided to settle on the chimney of the fireplace in the kitchen. Who knows, maybe my screaming stunned it, but the important thing is that Brad has now seen the bat. It has been confirmed that the bat exists and that it is in the house. Brad looks at me... scratching his completely naked butt... and says, "Hmmmm, how am I supposed to catch that?" I think my reply was something like, "How should I know? I saw the bat. I woke you up. I pointed out the bat to you. I'm pretty sure my job here is done."

 

[LaraK]

OK...so now I'm picturing a nekkid Mr. RV with a bat hanging off of exposed areas (had the rescue and release gone poorly)

I'm home...I'm eating dinner...it's cream of wheat.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

RVGal, that story was too funny.. I bats, I think they are really cool...but I wouldn't want one in my house. Your DH must be like mine, can't kill anything. I'm glad he got it out without any casualties, his or the bat's.



Well, we had our little outing tonight. We went to Walmart, tried some bikes, then ToysRUs. We found 2 bikes that are too big for my little boys, but that is the problem with bringing DH along...he thinks ahead, they will grow into them..Anyway we got an incredible deal on DS10's bike. It's a 24 inch Schwinn-18 speed...he has never ridden a geared bike. It was a display model and had a cable missing. DH is very handy so he can fix it pretty cheap. This bike was regularly $150, we got it for $25!! It was marked down to $35, then they had another markdown on all Scwinns.. I couldnt' believe it! DS8's bike was $67, so we made out like bandits! Grandma had given each boy $200 for a birthday bike, they were very happy to keep most of their money!


Here it is, Wednesday night and I have gotten ONE response for DS10's birthday party...I asked THREE times on the invite to respond-yes or no- and I don't know if everyone is waiting until tomorrow or what. I have prepared DS10 that we may not have it, maybe I made a mistake having it this Saturday.. I dunno, he said he won't be disappointed..I told him I would take him to the "forbidden" archade that I HATE, but he loves-if we don't have it. Guess I will be buying extra gifts to make myself not feel so bad...I don't even feel like preparing for it, and I am gonna be stuck with a yucky Walmart cake.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

OK...so now I'm picturing a nekkid Mr. RV with a bat hanging off of exposed areas (had the rescue and release gone poorly)

I'm home...I'm eating dinner...it's cream of wheat.

I love cream of wheat w/ brown sugar... wish I had some now..

 

[mirthmaiden]

This thread is now 2/25ths full. Looks like we'll need new threads every month. Dang. Didn't this thread start yesterday? And we're on page 21?? DANG!

I love the word "dang."

 

[LaraK]

OK...now my stomach is upset...blech!

 

[fltwinmom]

I made it through the egg dyeing with a purple thumb, an orange elbow (don't ask) and the sudden urge to throw out EVERY egg in the house.

About halfway into the eggstravaganza, DD looks up at me with her huge brown eyes and says.... "So, since we dyed the egg, is he dead now?"

She's confusing death with coloring easter eggs.



The wonderful mind of a 5 year old...

 

[Jack-Jack]

My cat pees and poops in my bathroom sink. I would try to weave a story to surround that nugget, but I'm tired. The cat pees in the sink.

 

[mirthmaiden]

My cat pees and poops in my bathroom sink. I would try to weave a story to surround that nugget, but I'm tired. The cat pees in the sink.

At least it isn't on your freshly-laundered pile of clothes?

 

[LUVMYTINK]

Well surprise surprise the other shoe dropped today. My 3rd child got the stomach bug today. But he was nice enough to wait till this morning after I was awake & was back to his oldself by this afternoon. Now I have figured out that they have all gotten sick within 2 days of each other so I will probably be getting sick on Friday. I don't care if I am puking my brains out I have to go out on Friday and pick up the kids Easter present (oldest, who's on vacation, will be at friend's house & twosome are going to daycare). Hopefully I will get whatever they had tomorrow night and be over it by Friday morning...................yeah right like I would be that lucky.

 

[mdrob214]

My cat pees and poops in my bathroom sink. I would try to weave a story to surround that nugget, but I'm tired. The cat pees in the sink.

Sorry--it's not nice to laugh at others' misfortunes, but THAT is funny!

I survived fried food night--we had fried cheesesticks, fried mushrooms fried cod and waffle fries--and beer! Not a single green (or other) veggie . I'm good on the grease for a while .

Oh, and DH nearly broke a hip!

He was changing the lightbulbs on the high kitchen ceiling so was standing on the kitchen counter. Actually he had one foor on the counter by the sink and the other on the island countertop.... I know, I know--this isn't that smart--I told him so! Next thing I knew he was falling in slow motion. Now, our kitchen is 4 steps higher than the family room and he was on the counter right by the steps. I thought for sure he was going to fall down the steps and was for certain goinng to break something. Miraculously he twists and turns in the air and lands on the kitchen floor, narrowly missing the steps, the corner of the 1/2 wall opposite the counter and the kitchhen table. I told him I thought about trying to help, but figured it would just cause more trouble! He laid on the floor for a while and I asked 1st if he was ok, then I laughed and told him he should be more careful--he's not a young man anymore and could easily break a hip if he's not carreful

 

[mdrob214]

Well surprise surprise the other shoe dropped today. My 3rd child got the stomach bug today. But he was nice enough to wait till this morning after I was awake & was back to his oldself by this afternoon. Now I have figured out that they have all gotten sick within 2 days of each other so I will probably be getting sick on Friday. I don't care if I am puking my brains out I have to go out on Friday and pick up the kids Easter present (oldest, who's on vacation, will be at friend's house & twosome are going to daycare). Hopefully I will get whatever they had tomorrow night and be over it by Friday morning...................yeah right like I would be that lucky.

You need a And I was feeling sorry for myself with my cold. Take care and hope you feel ok

 

[LUVMYTINK]

You need a And I was feeling sorry for myself with my cold. Take care and hope you feel ok

Don't worry about me. That other thread is cheering me up