remyandhollandsmommy
<font color=purple>Don't be afraid of the dark<br>
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2004
- Messages
- 3,358
The things I learned on my vacation...better titled as The Trip to Hades and why next year we will only go for a week and fly.
First a brief note for those of you that do not know me on the CB. My name is Angela and I am insane. Yes, you heard right. I have always thought I was a resonably well adjusted person, but apparently I was simply the last person to know my true mental status. Sad, isn't it? Why do I now know I am insane? Well after this trip, there was just no way to continue living in denial.
A little background:
I have a DH and two girls, Remy (7) and Holly (20mos). We live on Fort Drum in Ny (30 miles south of Canadia). My DH is in the military here and we only get to see our family in Florida once a year in the summer when Remy is out of school and we stay for a few weeks. My DH (lucky jerk) has not been home for the past two years as he was in Iraq both times. I have taken the girls by myself and was looking forward to DH coming this year (what was I thinking?!).
Now for the trip...
Today's Lesson: Why my DH's family belongs on Jerry Springer and How they almost ruined my birthday..
So, the day after we got to FL and revisited our childhood we just sat around relaxing. Jaison and Easy even played Barbies with the girls LOL. They used "girly" voices and made the dolls say what they think girls whine about (thier words, not mine). I did finally have to take their Barbie privlidges away when they got alittle too caught up in it and Barbie threw an all girls nekid slumber party. Hello! The girls are way to young to hear about ya'lls fantasies! Gimme those dolls! DH thought it was funny (my cousins can be a bad influence *sigh*). Ash came over and talked me into letting her do my hair. Ok, first let me tell you about Ash. She went to beauty school and was doing REALLY well until she had to take the pedicure class. That is when Ash learned the meaning of fear LOL. She has some major issues with feet and actually went so far as to quit school over it. I happen to be really paranoid about my hair after a tramatic childhood episode where my cousin, Jaison, almost killed me (we were 5) . We were riding in the woods and he pulled back a tree branch (one of those really thin new ones) and it popped me in the face when he let go. I fell off the back of my pony and hit my head on a tree stump knocking me out. He took our ponies back to my grandpa's and never told anyone I was hurt. My mom didn't even notice I was missing until almost dark a few hours later. My cousin finally took them to me and I had to be rushed to the hospital because of the back of my head being busted open (I was also still out cold). I got stitches in the back of my head (they shaved my hair) and my cheek. I still have a hairline scar from my right eye to my mouth (thankfully not as noticable now). For weeks my cousins called me Frankenstein! They actually scarred me...but I am not holding any grudges...
My hair is one of the few things I really like about my looks. See how pretty it looks:
I have always had a hard time going to the salon even and only the puppy dog face Ash gave caused me to trust her. She brought out a straightener (which I have never attempted to use) and decided to color my hair as well *gasp*. Thankfully it was only a slight difference. She also cut it to my shoulder blades. It turned our so good I bought a straightener for home. Only, NEVER use it if it might rain or you have frizz city! I even let her cut Remy's hair.
That was pretty much our entire Sunday and the next day was Memorial Day...also my 26th birthday. YIPPEE!!!
So on Sunday, my mom was throwing a BBQ Birthday Blowout with family and some old friends. For ya'll that care, mom was making ribs, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, baked beans, veggie/fruit trays, boiled (pronounced bowled) peanuts and the only thing not homemade...potato chips LOL. My mom went to school and is a 4 star chef..YUMM!! She decided after her schooling though that she hated working as a chef and now only cooks for family. I wanted a cookie cake, but alas I was vetoed by my rude, evil family! Instead I got to make a trip to Sams Club to pick up ice, buns, beer for the masses and a cake. The lady at the bakery actually tsked when she saw I was picking out my OWN cake instead of my mom baking one (most of Sams Club knows us as my mom works there). DH rolled his eyes at me when I told her about the veto and she agreed it was an outrage!
Back at the house I helped mom get stuff ready and my cousins helped set up the tents, tables and chairs...I told you it was a BBQ Blowout. There was over 50 people coming so we were busy all day. I told DHs family they were invited to my mom's, but to leave the drama at home...excuse me while I laugh at myself for thinking that could happen. Some of ya'll might recall the issues with my MIL we were having before we left, but for those of you that don't here is the link to that thread.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=821845
SIL, BIL, 2 of their 3 kids (1 was sick), MIL and BIL 13 said they were coming. They arrived an hour late (rude isn't it) and MIL had some stranger with her. She introduced him as David her "friend". Now, she tried to say he was just a "friend", but come on, they were holding hands. Don't know bout ya'll, but I don't hold hands with my male friends. I normally get along with my SIL, my only issue with her is her kids were really dirty. No biggie. We all were eating by that time and I noticed that my cousin Jaison was giving me a look. Walking over to where him and Easy were standing (BTW they are brothers and ya'll haven't met the other brother "THE TWO NATURED ONE" yet), I was just in time to hear MIL introduce her "friend" to them and say that he had just been released from prison (funny how she left that out of MY introduction). OH DEAR GOD!! Trying to be his normal polite self, Easy drapped an arm around me in support and said, "Well now, whad'ya do?" (we were hoping it was a minor violation) MIL was only too happy to brag about her "friend". Now for my anger...THIS PERSON NOT ONLY ROBBED INNOCENT PEOPLE BUT BEAT A CHILD AND TIED HIM TO A TOILET WHILE HE ROBBED THEM! I can NOT believe she brought that psycho to MY BBQ BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT!! Jaison hurried to get DH and fill him in. While DH dealt with this new issue, Jaison and Easy took me inside. They were worried at the wheezing sound I was making. {excuse me while I throw a tantrum in front of my family} Calmer now, I went back outside to see MIL and her new friend driving away, but leaving DHs 13 yr old brother with SIL's family.
Now let me tell you where HE fits into their Jerry Springer lifestyle. The boy has issues, bad ones. MIL says he's schizo and he is on all kinds of meds. I don't know if he really is or not (MIL lies ALOT), I just know he has some issues and really needs a professional. The boy kept telling DH that he wished he could hurt himself and bragged about getting suspended for bringing a knife to school. Then he did his best to get DH to "wrestle" with him saying he could whip DHs butt. PULEASE! First we tried to talk to him but I finally had enough and told him to shut up before I smacked him. He went away and played football with my cousins. Fast forward (I was just starting to get over my earlier upset) to where it was cake time. My mom lit the candles, everyone started to sing and....SPLAT! A football hit my cake, anihilating half of it. Where the hades are my asprin?! Closing my eyes I sighed LOUDLY and looked behind me. That boy had thrown the ball at my cake and was snickering (I don't care what ya'll think, he did it on purpose!). While DH headed toward him, Easy took my hand and led me back inside (we try not to throw tantrums in public LOL). After that both DH and SIL kept the boy under control and the rest of the party passed smoothly. See ya'll tomorrow.
BTW in case ya'll are wondering where my girls are, my family takes turns stealing them from me and smothering them with attention.
First a brief note for those of you that do not know me on the CB. My name is Angela and I am insane. Yes, you heard right. I have always thought I was a resonably well adjusted person, but apparently I was simply the last person to know my true mental status. Sad, isn't it? Why do I now know I am insane? Well after this trip, there was just no way to continue living in denial.
A little background:
I have a DH and two girls, Remy (7) and Holly (20mos). We live on Fort Drum in Ny (30 miles south of Canadia). My DH is in the military here and we only get to see our family in Florida once a year in the summer when Remy is out of school and we stay for a few weeks. My DH (lucky jerk) has not been home for the past two years as he was in Iraq both times. I have taken the girls by myself and was looking forward to DH coming this year (what was I thinking?!).
Now for the trip...
Today's Lesson: Why my DH's family belongs on Jerry Springer and How they almost ruined my birthday..
So, the day after we got to FL and revisited our childhood we just sat around relaxing. Jaison and Easy even played Barbies with the girls LOL. They used "girly" voices and made the dolls say what they think girls whine about (thier words, not mine). I did finally have to take their Barbie privlidges away when they got alittle too caught up in it and Barbie threw an all girls nekid slumber party. Hello! The girls are way to young to hear about ya'lls fantasies! Gimme those dolls! DH thought it was funny (my cousins can be a bad influence *sigh*). Ash came over and talked me into letting her do my hair. Ok, first let me tell you about Ash. She went to beauty school and was doing REALLY well until she had to take the pedicure class. That is when Ash learned the meaning of fear LOL. She has some major issues with feet and actually went so far as to quit school over it. I happen to be really paranoid about my hair after a tramatic childhood episode where my cousin, Jaison, almost killed me (we were 5) . We were riding in the woods and he pulled back a tree branch (one of those really thin new ones) and it popped me in the face when he let go. I fell off the back of my pony and hit my head on a tree stump knocking me out. He took our ponies back to my grandpa's and never told anyone I was hurt. My mom didn't even notice I was missing until almost dark a few hours later. My cousin finally took them to me and I had to be rushed to the hospital because of the back of my head being busted open (I was also still out cold). I got stitches in the back of my head (they shaved my hair) and my cheek. I still have a hairline scar from my right eye to my mouth (thankfully not as noticable now). For weeks my cousins called me Frankenstein! They actually scarred me...but I am not holding any grudges...
My hair is one of the few things I really like about my looks. See how pretty it looks:
I have always had a hard time going to the salon even and only the puppy dog face Ash gave caused me to trust her. She brought out a straightener (which I have never attempted to use) and decided to color my hair as well *gasp*. Thankfully it was only a slight difference. She also cut it to my shoulder blades. It turned our so good I bought a straightener for home. Only, NEVER use it if it might rain or you have frizz city! I even let her cut Remy's hair.
That was pretty much our entire Sunday and the next day was Memorial Day...also my 26th birthday. YIPPEE!!!
So on Sunday, my mom was throwing a BBQ Birthday Blowout with family and some old friends. For ya'll that care, mom was making ribs, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, baked beans, veggie/fruit trays, boiled (pronounced bowled) peanuts and the only thing not homemade...potato chips LOL. My mom went to school and is a 4 star chef..YUMM!! She decided after her schooling though that she hated working as a chef and now only cooks for family. I wanted a cookie cake, but alas I was vetoed by my rude, evil family! Instead I got to make a trip to Sams Club to pick up ice, buns, beer for the masses and a cake. The lady at the bakery actually tsked when she saw I was picking out my OWN cake instead of my mom baking one (most of Sams Club knows us as my mom works there). DH rolled his eyes at me when I told her about the veto and she agreed it was an outrage!
Back at the house I helped mom get stuff ready and my cousins helped set up the tents, tables and chairs...I told you it was a BBQ Blowout. There was over 50 people coming so we were busy all day. I told DHs family they were invited to my mom's, but to leave the drama at home...excuse me while I laugh at myself for thinking that could happen. Some of ya'll might recall the issues with my MIL we were having before we left, but for those of you that don't here is the link to that thread.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=821845
SIL, BIL, 2 of their 3 kids (1 was sick), MIL and BIL 13 said they were coming. They arrived an hour late (rude isn't it) and MIL had some stranger with her. She introduced him as David her "friend". Now, she tried to say he was just a "friend", but come on, they were holding hands. Don't know bout ya'll, but I don't hold hands with my male friends. I normally get along with my SIL, my only issue with her is her kids were really dirty. No biggie. We all were eating by that time and I noticed that my cousin Jaison was giving me a look. Walking over to where him and Easy were standing (BTW they are brothers and ya'll haven't met the other brother "THE TWO NATURED ONE" yet), I was just in time to hear MIL introduce her "friend" to them and say that he had just been released from prison (funny how she left that out of MY introduction). OH DEAR GOD!! Trying to be his normal polite self, Easy drapped an arm around me in support and said, "Well now, whad'ya do?" (we were hoping it was a minor violation) MIL was only too happy to brag about her "friend". Now for my anger...THIS PERSON NOT ONLY ROBBED INNOCENT PEOPLE BUT BEAT A CHILD AND TIED HIM TO A TOILET WHILE HE ROBBED THEM! I can NOT believe she brought that psycho to MY BBQ BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT!! Jaison hurried to get DH and fill him in. While DH dealt with this new issue, Jaison and Easy took me inside. They were worried at the wheezing sound I was making. {excuse me while I throw a tantrum in front of my family} Calmer now, I went back outside to see MIL and her new friend driving away, but leaving DHs 13 yr old brother with SIL's family.
Now let me tell you where HE fits into their Jerry Springer lifestyle. The boy has issues, bad ones. MIL says he's schizo and he is on all kinds of meds. I don't know if he really is or not (MIL lies ALOT), I just know he has some issues and really needs a professional. The boy kept telling DH that he wished he could hurt himself and bragged about getting suspended for bringing a knife to school. Then he did his best to get DH to "wrestle" with him saying he could whip DHs butt. PULEASE! First we tried to talk to him but I finally had enough and told him to shut up before I smacked him. He went away and played football with my cousins. Fast forward (I was just starting to get over my earlier upset) to where it was cake time. My mom lit the candles, everyone started to sing and....SPLAT! A football hit my cake, anihilating half of it. Where the hades are my asprin?! Closing my eyes I sighed LOUDLY and looked behind me. That boy had thrown the ball at my cake and was snickering (I don't care what ya'll think, he did it on purpose!). While DH headed toward him, Easy took my hand and led me back inside (we try not to throw tantrums in public LOL). After that both DH and SIL kept the boy under control and the rest of the party passed smoothly. See ya'll tomorrow.
BTW in case ya'll are wondering where my girls are, my family takes turns stealing them from me and smothering them with attention.
