I just finished reading your report...oh my goodness. I haven't laughed that hard in a loooong time. I had tears streaming down my face. I am so excited I found this one.
Again a Thank You from my heart...
Quick Funny Story....
for once not about me....
well inderectly yes....
but not about me looking like an @ss...
Thank Goodness...
I am a Director with Tupperware and one of the perks of the career is the trips...I love to travel.
I met a couple from Iowa early in my career and decided to drive to Salt Lake City from Minnesota for Tupperware's Jubilee in 2004. (That is our yearly banquet/party.)
I was driving my free Montanna from Tupperware with the thought that I will write off the mileage for our taxes. I had always driven

the Montanna...never ridden in the back.
We removed the middle seats to allow for more leg room...the husbands drove through the night...and Heidi and I slept....restlessly...into Colorado.
We had shared a blanket over both of us...and as we pulled into a rest stop...I woke up...excited to get the heck out of the back of the van and off of that torturous bench seat....It had not been comfortable at all..and I squirmed most of th enight...trying to get comfy.
So I exit the van...stertching to and fro...and wait patiently for Heidi to get out of the van...
And I wait...
And I wait...
And she is looking around all panicky...under the covers...
I am not sure why she is not out yet...I wanna explore...start the day right with a brisk walk...go to the bathroom...write my eulogie...pluck my eyebrows...wax someone's back....flatten strangers tire's...
anything....
I lean into the van...and ask...
"What is the dealio??"
She says...
"Something happened to my shorts."
I say...
What exactly do you mean?"
"Most of my shorts are gone!"
Now at this point...I am thinking..well I was under the covers with you...and I am fully dressed...so what did you do while I slept...sicko...
Okay...I am a big enough mouth that I said my thought out loud cause I am funny like that and that's how I roll....
"I am not kidding..I can't find the rest of my shorts!"
Now I have my interest peaked....it is like a Scooby Doo mystery and Thelma is on the case of the ..."Missing Jogging Shorts."
So I send the guys on to dump garbage..use the facilities...explain we will join them in a few...and climb back into the van.
She instructs me to close the van door...and then does the Biggest Loser great reveal.
And sure enough...she was not kidding...she really was missing 1/2 of her shorts...but...with a few Scooby Snacks...I was about to solve the case...
As I laughed and laughed...and jumped around trying not to pee...I pointed out what to me would have been obvious...
One whole cheek o' shorts...was wedged in her sidewalk crack...
Not just a bit...
Or a section...
but literally if you cut a pair of shorts in 1/2....
That much was wedgied...
I wasn't sure if I should have

or order a tow truck with a wench to pull it out...
How on this earth could that much material be there...without the uncomfortable feeling of needing to remove asap...I mean if my thong is wrong...
I know...
ya know???
I was trying not to wet myself as I shouted out...
"YOUR @SS ATE YOUR SHORTS!
To this day...I am happy to share that info with our new team members...It is proof that it does not take brain surgery...or a sense of feelin in the lower quadrant to be successfull in Tupperware...
Her team sold over a Million that year...
and yet she couldn't find her shorts with both hands...
