The happyhaunts Ride Again... a 2nd Endlessly Tedious TR! (NEW pg 6)!!

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Hot Snot! I found a great trip report. Mel, I've heard lots about your fabulous prose and can't wait to hear more. While I'm eating my favorite Colby Jack cheese and daydreaming of at Disney.

BTW - if you still need to "break" that stroller - just put a wheel of stinky cheese in the seat and be sure to hold it down with a Disney bumper sticker. Then get Gary Sinese to sit on it and fling hot snot all over the seat. Keep it out in the sun until the cheese melts. Then take the stroller and push it off a tall, rocky cliff. Voila, stroller no more.

(Ha - managed to get all of those words and phrases in TWICE. How's that for having too much time on my hands? )

Good effort. I appreciate it.

But... listen: If I could actually get Gary Sinise anywhere NEAR one of the happyhaunts' vehicles, be it the stroller or the stinky van, do you think I'd actually then throw them OUT?????!!!!!

Come on.

I'd be writhing around on them as if I'm Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake Video.

Yep. Super mental picture for ya. Especially the one of me flattening the filthy stroller. My apologies. Truly.

Geez.

"Here I Go Again". Heh, heh.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Hot snot! The happyhaunts have another trip reportt on Disney! I am sure we will hear about Gary Sinise and cheese...now get to it!

Christamae

 

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

well hot snot. a fresh trip report for me to sink my teeth into! all i need now is a bottle of moosehead...or better, kokanee. (so i am not a "real" canadian beer drinker. what can i say? i like kokanee!)

how lucky am i! i get to read this one from the beginning, (after all i read zzub's report and he mentioned you ALOT) hopefully you will have this one done before I leave on my trip....on December 2nd. LMAO

GREAT start, i am anxiously waiting for more!

 

[LaLa]

I cleaned in between seats and under them too. I found a library book, several pencils, crayons, a petrified Tim Hortons glazed donut (I think) a few Little People and, in the pocket behind the seat, I discovered Calvin's secret stash of precious chewed gum. Lots and lots of gum in the pocket. I was grossed out. Because I figured there would be more than just gum there. I left it. Now I pretend that pocket does not and has never existed.

You had me rolling on the floor with this one. I can so see it just like I am there with you cleaning out the van too. And, there I go. Throwing up in my mouth a little. ZZUB, throw me a keyboard. I know you've got a stockpile somewhere.

I also try to buy out the mall before we go on vacation. Because after all, you absolutely cannot be seen in a Disneyworld picture with the same outfit on twice. Right? Or is that just me? It's not just me, is it?

Can't wait to hear more, Melly Mel. Glad you're back Woman. LY/MI

 

[Shelby5514]

Last edited by LaLa : Today at 08:51 PM. Reason: Walking down the only road I've ever known....

That was our Senior Song in High School. YIKES! I haven't heard that song in years!

Waiting for the next episode... Come on Mel, get those kids cleaned up, read to and thrown in bed, you've got an audience waiting.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I also try to buy out the mall before we go on vacation. Because after all, you absolutely cannot be seen in a Disneyworld picture with the same outfit on twice. Right? Or is that just me? It's not just me, is it?

Nope, i feel the EXACT same way..but DH doesn't like it too much!!

Hot Snot! i'm Lovin Mellymells newest installment on her Disney TR!! i'm likin it more than Cheese and Gary Sinese!!


the stroller breaking descrition was so detailed i felt as though i were watching it happen in person!! i needed to borrow some depends from my Grammy-Tales stockpile!!

 

[Chapter 11]

I'd be writhing around on them as if I'm Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake Video

"1985" by Bowling for Soup. It's all you.

 

[SandraVB79]

Oh Lord. Sandra, my rich European jetsetting Disfriend, thinks PUDDY is hotter than GARY???!!!!! Shudder.

Now I am rich, I am jetsetting and i'm your FRIEND???? YAHOOOOO!!! My life couldn't be more perfect!!

And the hottest one of them all was that one Jungle Cruise skipper...
There must be something wrong with the Florida-sun... usually I don't like young men at all, I like them old(er). Like 15-20 years older. A little grey and/ or bald. We are talking George Clooney/ Sean Connery/ etc - like! But because of the Florida sun, I thought some of those young kiddos were hot, like that one Jungle Cruise skipper or the Indiana Jones stunt kid! (Ahhh, Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones... the day they sell his Audioanimatronic from DL on eBay, I'll be the highest bidder. After all, I'm rich, right? )



Did you already try to burn the stroller? Hold a match against it... it might explode. Make sure the kids aren't anywhere near, though...

 

[fizz13]

Think I better address this to Zzub and Mel as I am sneakily suspicious you are both in on this:

What did us British do to upset you? I realise that we can be pasty white, that we can be soccer lunatics and that we like our alcohol a lot, but was it worse than this or is this the complaint? Fill me in please Would love to defend myself if at all poss, otherwise I will hold my hands up and plead British guilt

Don't need to tell you how much I love the report, as always we are clearly in for a treat. Very sympatheic on the whole stroller issue. 3 kids later my stroller is ready to roll on out in protest, please tell me baggage handling lost it..right?...right?

Good luck with the epic, will be sadly checking the board daily for updates, love ya, mean it.

claire xx

 

[Lisa_Belle]

Good effort. I appreciate it.

But... listen: If I could actually get Gary Sinise anywhere NEAR one of the happyhaunts' vehicles, be it the stroller or the stinky van, do you think I'd actually then throw them OUT?????!!!!!

Come on.

I'd be writhing around on them as if I'm Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake Video.

Yep. Super mental picture for ya. Especially the one of me flattening the filthy stroller. My apologies. Truly.

Geez.

"Here I Go Again". Heh, heh.

I had assumed Gary would have enough common sense to get out of the stroller before being rolled off the cliff. And I must admit that your "super mental picture" would definitely melt the cheese faster. It may even eliminate the entire need for being rolled off the cliff.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

"1985" by Bowling for Soup. It's all you.

That's SO sad. Ugggghhhh. I think I really DO need Prozac now.

Thanks to you. And those lyrics.

Geez.

I gotta go listen to some Howard Jones to cheer up, now. Things can only get better. Right?

 

[Master Gracie]

You know, I heard once that when Sinise was filming for Mission: Space at Disney, he had a bit of an illness.

He was running a fever and very hot. It got so bad that his snot was comming out the consistency of melted cheese.

That one's for Zzub. Cause I know you like things gross.

Great start Mel. Looking forward to more.

We really did miss you over in Viking land.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Think I better address this to Zzub and Mel as I am sneakily suspicious you are both in on this:

What did us British do to upset you? I realise that we can be pasty white, that we can be soccer lunatics and that we like our alcohol a lot, but was it worse than this or is this the complaint? Fill me in please Would love to defend myself if at all poss, otherwise I will hold my hands up and plead British guilt

Don't need to tell you how much I love the report, as always we are clearly in for a treat. Very sympatheic on the whole stroller issue. 3 kids later my stroller is ready to roll on out in protest, please tell me baggage handling lost it..right?...right?

Good luck with the epic, will be sadly checking the board daily for updates, love ya, mean it.

claire xx

And Claire, my pasty snaggle-toothed British Disfriend, don't be SILLY!!!!!! I love all things British. I love your food. I REALLY do. I LOVE fish and chips, pork pie, stilton cheese, curries and Double Gloucester. Beth and I LOVELOVELOVE going for Tea. Jam tarts rock. Plus I love Spotted Dick, Bubble and Squeak, Jellied Eels, Bacon Roly-Poly and Toad-in-the-Hole. I think. Well... they're all foods, right???? Anywho... I LOVE that the British name their foods things like THAT. Except for the jellied eels. Uggggghhhh. That makes me want to hurl. No offense. I love your beers and your accents. Your fashion sense and especially your chocolate. In fact, the two or three times a year I crave chocolate, The General and I venture to a little shop in Niagara-on-the-Lake where we get genuine IMPORTED Cadbury Flake. I usually eat two in a row and am good without chocolate for another four months. Truly. They rock. So I'm quite a fan. Of all things British. Now... the French are another thing. Don't get me started. Heh, heh. And... I won't comment on the Royal Family except to say that I believe ZZUB is quite a fan. Anyways... thanks for visiting and stay tuned. I'll be back with more later today. Plus... I'm kidding about your complexion and teeth. I hope. LY ~ MI. Mel.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Don't be so sassy about the moose thing.

Last fall Tommy and I were nearly in that very position. Bull moose. The wilderness east of Sudbury. All alone. Nose flare. Yep.

But... it's all hilarious to you Americans.

Geez.

I'm traumatized here.

I need a spot of tea.

 

[Master Gracie]

Which begs the question, what were you doing in the wilderness all alone?

You were taunting the moose weren't you?

He had probably taken all he could stand and finally just snapped.

Oh, and great trip report.

(so as to stay on topic)

 

[hooP]

I am not some type of old peed on stroller that you can just push around and ask to post specific words like "hot snot, Gary Sinise, cheese and Disney". I am a person with my own mind and thoughts (Shut up PP). I will say what I want to say and that is:

I love your TR. I have an idea. Can we turn your stuff into a "Trip Report on Tape or CD"

With all the driving I do, It may be a good idea for me to laugh and enjoy myself instead of dropping the "F" word at every driver on the road. (Ask Lou, he knows about NY,NJ traffic). It would also serve as excellent entertainment at parties and may even keep PP out of the bushes.

 

[2xcited2slp]

good gary, no hot cheese on DIS-inise menu? that snot good.

Is this particular instruction required every time or is once enough?

Can't wait till next installment. Thanks for the entertainment.

 

[Chapter 11]

That's SO sad. Ugggghhhh. I think I really DO need Prozac now.

Thanks to you. And those lyrics.

Geez.

I gotta go listen to some Howard Jones to cheer up, now. Things can only get better. Right?

Oh, don't go gettin' all depressive -- I was just referring to the line in the song about Whitesnake. Found it oddly appropriate. Probably should've clarified that up front. Whoops. My bad.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

The Days Leading up to our Disney Festivus Part 2

After taking care of business with the sticky, smelly van and the stubbornly immortal stroller... well, at least attempting to anyway... it was time to spend some big bucks. On Me(l). Heh, heh. First there was my hair. And I put that in bold for a reason. The reason was that it cost $175.00. Shhhhhhhhh. Don't tell DH. Seriously. He'd lose bowel control if he knew. And if he loses bowel control... I'd have to put him into a home. It's ok. He knows this. I slipped it into our personal wedding vows at the church. Heh, heh. I'm kidding, of course, because after three children and one with plumbing problems which forced us to spend many an hour in the McMaster Children's Hospital I can clean up any type of gut mess, pile, leak or spray with one hand... while eating a ham and cheese sandwich with the other. My apologies to someone out there who is, hopefully, NOT eating a ham and cheese at this very moment. He knows who he is. Anywho... my hair cost a lot of money. But I have plenty of hair. And it needed highlights, lowlights and a trim, too. Plus I have this wonderful stylist who personally shampoos me himself and that, in itself, is enough to pay $175.00 for. One of the greatest luxuries on earth is having someone else shampoo your hair and give you a good head massage. I swear. I could go on but the memory is making me happy, sleepy and too relaxed to type. I have to snap out of it. Then there was my nails. Had to have them done. But after I paid for the hair and the manicure I felt guilty and decided to skip the pedicure and do that myself. So I bought some nail polish for myself and Beth and rounded her up and said that I would take care of business this time. And not The Nail Place. Beth was a little skeptical of my abilities and said that she'd prefer if I did myself first. So we sat down on the CARPET, because we are the thrifty, fearless, living-on-the-edge happyhaunts, and I grabbed the clippers and my bright blue nail polish and began. Half-way through the cutting of my toenails she winced and said, "Oh Mommy! That's TOO short. That one. Ouch. That looks really painful. Are you ok?" My answer was, " Yes. You're right on both accounts. Very sore. Throbbing actually." Then I attempted to paint them. But a few were cut so short as to be almost invisible and I got impatient and basically painted the nail and most of the skin around my toenails blue as well. Sat back and waited for them to dry. Grabbed the pink polish and turned to Beth. Because there's no way in HECK my sweet little conservative girlie would be wanting to sport blue toes. Although she claims to like mine. She turned my offer of a trim down. For some reason. And then proceeded to let me polish her nails and a good chunk of her skin a lovely bubblegum pink. We sat back and admired my work together. "What do you think?" I asked. "Well, Mommy, I think it's a mess. What are we going to do?" I told her not to worry because we'd have showers later on and scrub the skin around our toenails with a scrubbie puff and then they would look just fine. And that's what we did and it worked out just fine. Except for my one partially amputated toenail. That one hurt like the dickens for a solid three days. Anyhow... I determined my skills lie elsewhere and next time I will take it to the professionals. Although that didn't stop me from letting my Mellyman take Tommy's stitch removal on by himself or letting him take a drill, on the slowest speed, to his own toenail when he jammed it playing basketball and had to relieve the pressure build-up. In fact, that was WAY COOL. To watch.

Tommy aka Crackhead had received stitches in his head a couple months ago. He dubbed himself a "crackhead" at the time and the nickname stuck. The stitches started in the middle of his eyebrow and went up a little into his forehead. They were internal and were supposed to disappear on their own. Except they didn't. He had one long piece of stitch sticking out at the top like an antenna. We kept waiting, watching and hoping it would fall off. It didn't and so the Wednesday night before we left I let Mellyman and my good friend Spot aka Scott attempt to get rid of the stringie thing. At Spot's house aka Margaritaville... at dinner... inbetween our appetizers and the second course. After looking carefully at it in a good bright light aka the sun...on the back lawn... they determined that it just needed to be gently pulled out with tweezers aka yanked kinda hard. Melly tried and quite quickly determined that it was still securely attached. At least it appeared to be painless. When he gave it a little tug aka a good yank. Tommy didn't blink aka scream or cry, anyhow. So... we found the tiniest pair of scissors known to man and while he pulled it gently out a bit, Dr. Spot aka Himmler cut the piece of stitch. Voila! Perfect. Painless. All neat and tidy now. Tommy was happy and just the scar remained. I was suitably impressed and wondered if at the next dinner party we had we could combine dessert with a skin tag removal.

So then there was the shopping. Again... pricey. For things I didn't really need. Neither did Beth. But I felt that I couldn't go South without a new bathing suit. Even though I have, like, twenty perfectly good ones already. I bought myself another bikini. And I bought Beth one too. Hers was really cute. It had a little bandeau top and boy shorts bottoms. In orange with flowers. Mine was an aqua blue string one with little flowers and a frill. Ohhhh... they were both SO CUTE. We HAD to have them. Along with another pair of sunglasses, a white sundress and two pairs of wedge heel strappy sandals. Pink for her and blue for me. Then I realized Calvin needed runners and Tommy a couple t-shirts and a collared shirt. And Mellyman needed two pairs of shorts and three shirts. WHEW!!!!! Do you see what I mean? The price of vacation starts before you even haul the suitcases out of storage. Oh yeah... looking pretty at Disney takes PLENTY of effort, time and money. Especially for us happyhaunts aka slobs.

To be continued... next up: Hauling the suitcases out of storage and discussing birth control with Calvin.

 

[Shelby5514]

To be continued... next up: Hauling the suitcases out of storage and discussing birth control with Calvin.

Oh, now this ought to be good. What in the heck brought up THAT topic?