The happyhaunts Ride Again... a 2nd Endlessly Tedious TR! (NEW pg 6)!!

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The days leading up to our Disney Festivus:

Once upon a time five happyhaunts planned a trip to one of their favourite places on earth. Yep. Disney. The place where wishes come true and dreams are real and a kid can be a kid and all that good stuff. It's also magically expensive. According to my DH. I, for the most part, try to ignore that part of the vacation equation. But the truth is... he's right. It's bloody expensive to go to Disney. Because not only does it cost alot of money when you get there but there's the actual pre-Disney trip spending that has to be taken into account. We needed some clothes, toiletries, a buttload of sunscreen to cover our pasty whiteness (yet not as much as the British), assorted medicines (just in case), vitamins (always a good plan, I say), and toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss and mouthwash (yet, again, not as much as the British. Heh, heh)... and then there were to be some BIG expenditures. For one... a new stroller. You see, I had a plan to completely DEMO our old dirty wonky one before the trip. Tommy no longer rides in it and, actually, it's been stored in our garage since we returned from our last Disney adventure right before Christmas. It even still had the tags from the airport baggage claim on it. The back left wheel was bent inwards at a strange angle thanks to our dash through the Magic Kingdom and my Mellyman stepping on it by accident in mid-gallop. But it still worked. Unfortunately. There were plenty of new stains on it and the remnants of crispy Mickey welded to it permanently. What I'm telling you is that it was a wreck. Embarrassing. Filthy. Old. Peed on, even. As horrific looking as our old van is. But, fortunately, we would be leaving the van in long-term parking at the Buffalo Airport and would be able to valet park a nice new vehicle in Florida. We were thinking about leaving the van unlocked, with the keys in it and a note taped to the windshield begging someone to steal the darn thing. Mellyman suggested also leaving $70, along with the note for our prospective thieves, to pay for getting it out of the lot. One little SMELL of the van's interior and they'd be needing that incentive, he figured. And I concurred. I even attemped to clean the van before we left. Just for our gang of car thieves. I rounded up the three kids after school one day the week before we left and gave them each a plastic grocery bag and opened all the doors of the van. I suggested they get to it. They all looked at me in horror and Calvin said that they'd do it if I provided three pairs of rubber gloves. Beth begged to differ and said that she wouldn't do it for ANYTHING. I considered bribing and/or ordering them but decided I would bite the bullet and do it myself. Because it would just be easier. Truth be told. And, fancying myself a bit of a tough girl, I decided to skip the gloves and risk the skin to bacteria contact. I sent them off to play and started ripping the carseat and two boosters out. Yuck. They were all sticky. But a treasure trove of stuff was revealed to me. Underneath the seats I found a package of crackers, three McDonald's french fry bags, smarties, gum, bloody kleenex and a pair of mitts. Matching!!!!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!! I jumped around joyously because having matching anything in our family is truly a miracle. What a find! I took it as a good omen. For our trip and the future packing endeavour in which I would attempt to find enough matching socks to last us all 10 days in The World. I cleaned in between seats and under them too. I found a library book, several pencils, crayons, a petrified Tim Hortons glazed donut (I think) a few Little People and, in the pocket behind the seat, I discovered Calvin's secret stash of precious chewed gum. Lots and lots of gum in the pocket. I was grossed out. Because I figured there would be more than just gum there. I left it. Now I pretend that pocket does not and has never existed. There. Done. The van was fairly clean. Ok. I exaggerate. But it was as good as it was going to get. Now on to the stroller.

Mellyman sensed that I did not want to bring it along and he laid down the law that we WERE taking it. That it WOULD last one last trip and I was NOT ALLOWED to replace it before the trip. Unless it happened to break. Of course. I considered taking a hammer to it when he was at work. Or else simply driving over it in the driveway. Or else throwing it in a dumpster behind the strip mall and blaming Calvin for it's disappearance. But I knew all those things would be too obvious. He'd catch on. And I'd get in BIG trouble. So I determinded that I had to actually break it by normal use. So for a week before our departure I loaded up Tommy and we went for walks around the neighbourhood and to the park. No so much the normal route but more of "off-roading" so to speak. We were tough on it. We ran, we bashed it into things, we did curbs and we flipped it once. Tommy too. Sorry. We punished it and, yet, it would not give up the ghost. I truly felt the dirty piece of junk was mocking me. And my efforts. Plus... now it looked worse than ever and, still, that bloody bent wheel was securely attached and functional. We limped home in defeat and I resigned myself to taking it along. Now... on to the BIG trip expenditures. Also known as "Stuff I Need to be Pretty at Disney". Oh. And now that Beth is 11... "More Stuff Beth Needs Too". The boys need nothing. They'd be happy to spend the whole 10 days in the same pair of underwear if I let them. My DH too. And don't you think I wasn't considering it. It would mean less over-packing. And Mellyman had made me promise to pack lighter this trip.

To be continued... Up next: "Why SURE, Beth, Mommy's home pedicure will be as good as one from The Nail Place!!!".
 
Embarrassing. Filthy. Old. Peed on, even.
Curiously, this also describes the Royal Family. I believe I'm detecting a theme.

Congratulations on finding, and using, the enter/return key. I knew you had it in you.

So it's not just my wife who feels compelled to buy lots of new stuff before every Disney vacation? What's wrong with the shorts and shirts and sunglasses and other assorted unmentionables from last year? Our trip is still more than 3 months away and she's already starting The List. Oy vey.

Disney is expensive? Who knew?

:3dglasses I like how this looks almost as much as this :moped: No relevance to your trip report. Ahem.
 
Great start! I'm laughing outloud already.

Embarrassing. Filthy. Old. Peed on, even

Been there, done that...but has it been vomited on? Or even worse...pooped on? Then we can talk...only worse, my new DOUBLE stroller has just recently(last night) been vomited on. We ripped off the seat cover, threw it in the wash with a gallon of bleach and hosed that baby down on the back porch, or pourch for you. ;)
 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs lots of new things before going to Disney.

But, two remarks:
1. I have never bought toothpaste etc just for Disney... I buy it for everyday

2. Disney is expensive??? Never noticed that... :rolleyes1
 
SandraVB79 said:
I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs lots of new things before going to Disney.

But, two remarks:
1. I have never bought toothpaste etc just for Disney... I buy it for everyday

2. Disney is expensive??? Never noticed that... :rolleyes1

Well, I have to admit it... it's true. Women NEED a few new things when they go on vacation. Things that make them feel pampered and that are a bit of a luxury. Like a really nice new hair style and a new cute little bikini. Or a new toothbrush and new toothpaste. The fancy kind that stands upright on the counter all by itself. 'Cause we can't all be as lucky as Sandra who is living the life of European luxury every day. I'm in CANADA for goshsakes. The land of barren tundra and maple syrup. And really bad hockey teams which were members of the Original Six. Sorry but we suck. Yes the Toronto Maple Leafs suck. Shhhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell my DH. The only upside is that the pest known as the Sunflower Beetle has not yet reached our Northern Climes. I think. Heck. Maybe it has. What do I know?

And, ZZUB, I think I'm going to have to include YOU in my Disclaimer. Geez, ZZUB. Take it easy on the British, will ya?!!!! Gosh. Gosh. After all... where would your wonderful U.S.A. be today without them? Heh, heh. (Doing "shame, shame" fingers to ZZUB and running back over the border...)

Cheers, Mel.
 
Hey Mel, I just finished watching my last tivo'd CSI N.Y. with gorgeous Gary and popped on the Dis and hot snot saw you had a new trip report. Aw cheese to think i have only 5 more months to go until I get to the world. Here's hoping I will finish your TR before then. :rotfl2:
Also told my sis about your old one and she keeps sending me Calvin-isms.
More please. :surfweb:
 
HOT SNOT! Great start, Mel! Would you believe I even got Knit to read it. He says you're hysterical, by the way.

And I'm not upset that you left me out in your list of names. I don't think.

LY/MI!

Maelstrom, people!
 
1000thhappyhaunt said:
Well, I have to admit it... it's true. Women NEED a few new things when they go on vacation. Things that make them feel pampered and that are a bit of a luxury. Like a really nice new hair style and a new cute little bikini. Or a new toothbrush and new toothpaste. The fancy kind that stands upright on the counter all by itself. 'Cause we can't all be as lucky as Sandra who is living the life of European luxury every day. I'm in CANADA for goshsakes. The land of barren tundra and maple syrup. And really bad hockey teams which were members of the Original Six. Sorry but we suck. Yes the Toronto Maple Leafs suck. Shhhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell my DH. The only upside is that the pest known as the Sunflower Beetle has not yet reached our Northern Climes. I think. Heck. Maybe it has. What do I know?

And, ZZUB, I think I'm going to have to include YOU in my Disclaimer. Geez, ZZUB. Take it easy on the British, will ya?!!!! Gosh. Gosh. After all... where would your wonderful U.S.A. be today without them? Heh, heh. (Doing "shame, shame" fingers to ZZUB and running back over the border...)

Cheers, Mel.

Bwahahaha! That's the best joke I heard this year!! Yes, I SO live a luxury every day life in Europe!!!! :rotfl2: :lmao: At this point, my stomach really hurts!!!! can also be I ate something wrong

I have never ever owned one fancy toothbrush that stands up by itself. Now that I think about it, I am so ashamed by my toothbrush, that it goes back in the beauty case after each use when i'm on vacation... :rolleyes1

And we don't have maple syrup... we just have chocolate... and waffles... and beer... no maple syrup. at all! No snow, no ice hockey... I know, it's pretty sad...

And I didn't get a new bikini before I went to WDW (no way i'll show my big butt, without pants or a skirt covering them up, in public!) and I didn't get a new hair style... because due to my trip, I had to cancel my hairdresser's appointment... Now that I think about it, it's quite sad...

And now I'm going to look up who hot snot Gary is... :surfweb: I don't even know THAT, go figure... :confused3
 
You are moving quickly, Hauntie. In between loads of laundry. I think. Hope you don't turn anything pink. That's what I always do. Keep the red stuff away from the white.

Oh, and about the guys needing nothing...that's the ONLY reason I'm happy to have no daughters. I forgot the kids underwear and socks on our last trip. I told my son, "Brian, your dream has come true. You can wear the same underwear all week!!" He was very happy (until I made him hand wash it at night :teeth: )

Keep goin' girlie, you're doing good.
 
Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly, Melly it's so good to have you back where you belong… I so enjoyed living your last TR. I am sure this one will be an adventure too, can’t wait...

BTW, Tell Bama he has a sole brother, I’m a crackhead too.
 
SandraVB79 said:
Bwahahaha! That's the best joke I heard this year!! Yes, I SO live a luxury every day life in Europe!!!! :rotfl2: :lmao: At this point, my stomach really hurts!!!! can also be I ate something wrong

I have never ever owned one fancy toothbrush that stands up by itself. Now that I think about it, I am so ashamed by my toothbrush, that it goes back in the beauty case after each use when i'm on vacation... :rolleyes1

And we don't have maple syrup... we just have chocolate... and waffles... and beer... no maple syrup. at all! No snow, no ice hockey... I know, it's pretty sad...

And I didn't get a new bikini before I went to WDW (no way i'll show my big butt, without pants or a skirt covering them up, in public!) and I didn't get a new hair style... because due to my trip, I had to cancel my hairdresser's appointment... Now that I think about it, it's quite sad...

And now I'm going to look up who hot snot Gary is... :surfweb: I don't even know THAT, go figure... :confused3

There are actually toothBRUSHES that stand up on the counter, too?

'Cause I was talkin' about the toothPASTE.

The toothBRUSHES must be a fancy, exotic, luxurious European item... my fabuously rich friend.

And all the talk of waffles and chocolate isn't makin' me feel your pain. Too much. Ya dig?

Neither is the BEER. The GOOD BEER.

I believe points go to... Me(l). Try harder. I'm sitting on the edge of my hard, uncomfortable pioneer-type chair in the hinterland... waiting.
 
Now I'm going to tell you something you won't like at all: I looked up who Gary is. And quite actually, I think the Soarin' man is sexier than Gary...

*running away to hide behind a pile of luxury items*


Oh, and yes, they do sell toothbrushes here that stand up by themselves! It are kids' toothbrushes, but they stand up nonetheless!
 
Mellysmellystrollergirl....All caught up on your laundry? I've got a buttload of wash you can help with!

Loving the TR !!
 
sheridac said:
So you left behind everything that was his right?

I would NEVER do that!!!!

Geez.

Maybe you ARE all alone on the dark side. (Insert little winking smilie guy here).

Which would be far more palatable than either of ZZUB's moped guy :moped: or the 3-D glasses guy :3dglasses . I think. Yep. FAR MORE.
 
paslea_pooh said:
Mellysmellystrollergirl....All caught up on your laundry? I've got a buttload of wash you can help with!

Loving the TR !!

Thanks PP. And I just put in a load of reds and whites. On hot.

That's right. Isn't it?

Oh well... no matter. It's just Mellyman's white work shirts.
 
I was just thinking about you the other day and wondered if your May trip had happened. Glad it did, because for me, it's really starting to sink in that Disney isn't happening for me and Jake this year...(but that's ok we're busy waiting for our baby!). Anyway, I enjoy living vicariously through my fellow diser's and your reports along with zzub's are my favorite :)
 
Hot Snot! I found a great trip report. Mel, I've heard lots about your fabulous prose and can't wait to hear more. While I'm eating my favorite Colby Jack cheese at Disney.

BTW - if you still need to "break" that stroller - just put a wheel of stinky cheese in the seat and be sure to hold it down with a Disney bumper sticker. Then get Gary Sinese to sit on it and fling hot snot all over the seat. Keep it out in the sun until the cheese melts. Then take the stroller and push it off a tall, rocky cliff. Voila, stroller no more.

(Ha - managed to get all of those words and phrases in TWICE. How's that for having too much time on my hands? ;) )
 
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