The happyhaunts go South... the endless trip report!

[1stTimeDisneyer]

Drinks-A-Lot

Where have you been? Why are you hung over?

J/k

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Big Birthday Party weekend. I'm SO hung over. Shot pool until 4am. I was the shark... they were the fish. I think. I think I was playing pretty well. Against all the drunks. I also had quite a few beverages... and slept in my bra. Kids woke up at 9. Chose fried eggs for breakfast. Ohhhh... yummy. Runny, snotty yolks. Uggghhh. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Just like Vettechick. Must run... there's homework to help with. I'm so pleased we put that off till tonight. I'll post a new installment in the endless report tomorrow. Squeak squeak... Mel.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

I have to say your reports are amazing. I have spent the past 4 hours reading all of this thread. Your reports are right up there with Zurgs wife, janet 2k, vettechick and some of the other epics I have read. Also the guy with the kids they called octopus, I belive Stringer.
Thank you much for sharing your family with us

 

[jamal]

I have a true Calvin-and-Hobbes Calvin in my 11 year old (not named Calvin except when I call him that). I hope there will always be room for free spirited boys who just want to P-L-A-Y and dream like Calvin!

I love your reports, Mel.. Many thanks, Jamal

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Thanks to a buttload of sleep and that blessed edible oil product we call "McDonalds"... I have miraculously recovered from my hangover. Specifically... a Big Mac Combo with extra onion and pickles. And a BIG Coke. Sometimes you really NEED a Coke...and there's NOTHING wrong with that. I say. So... Supersize Me! I'm all in. Actually, I don't even think it IS an edible oil product. I think it's all made of latex. Like from Vandelay Industries. Just like my pirate boots. Heh, Heh. That's for ZZUB. Figure it out. Ok. Ok. I know it's a really easy one. I must still be tired. Or drunk. Onwards then...

The Last Day Day 9, Dec 19: There will be one long paragraph. No paragraph breaks. Not my style. I'm not doin' it. So there. Agreed? Then... shake. It's a hand sandwich. I'm the bread. Well, the five happyhaunts woke up our last WDW day knowing that all we have time for before we check out is the massive chore of repacking our things. And purging some of Calvin's items to make more room in our suitcases. I fire all the kids through the shower and then I have one and so does DH. Then it's time for the Semi-Annual Sock Hunt. Better than an Easter Egg Hunt. And smellier. You know, maybe I SHOULD take more notes. Like at EASTER, for example, because THE BUNNY hides so many darn chocolates that my Sister-in-Law's dog keeps finding them for us throughout the rest of the year. Then she FREAKS 'cause chocolate is, apparently, poisonous to dogs. Then I tell her there is no REAL chocolate in the ones the kids get. So not to worry. Because THE BUNNY saves all the REAL CHOCOLATE for herself. I mean... itself. Yada, yada, yada. By the way, THE BUNNY isn't the brightest because one year she... I mean, it... stored ALL the chocolate in a pile on top of the freezer beforehand. It ALL melted. A good $75 of candy. Super. The Easter Bunny must be blond. I think. At least ours must be. Anywho... The Sock Hunt. Well... Beth and I, when on vacation, take our clothes off and neatly hang them in the closet, or fold them and put them back in the suitcase or a drawer. If they are dirty... we put them in the laundry bag. It's so easy. However, the boys remove their clothes and, I think, proceed to fling them all over the room. DH included. I believe they roll their socks off their feet and fire them around the room. Or at each other. I never have witnessed this because they must all wait until my back is turned. Or I am in the bathroom. But I KNOW. Because we must literally tear apart the entire room to find all the socks and underwear. There are sock balls behind and under the bed. The couch. Behind the furniture. Crammed in the corner of the fold-away bed. Stuck in a lamp. Wedged in the Bible like a bookmark. Everywhere. After the fun of that it is time for Feats of Strength. The first being DH's. He must try to wedge all of our balled up dirty clothing from the laundry bag/bags into ONE suitcase. And then close it. It takes a tremedous amount of muscle power. And the use of his big guns. His "laundry guns". I enjoy watching this part of the repacking ordeal. 'Cause normally DH NEVER curses. Ever. But, let me tell you, he sure CAN when he wants to. I was quite impressed. DH is one crabby, sweaty, swearing like a punk rocker of a DH. While packing. Ohhhhh... memory burn! Then it's time to repack the shoes. There's about three pairs each for everyone else. I brought, at least, ten pairs for myself. I knew there would be hell to pay when my husband discovered the eleventh pair. "Mel... what is this?" he asked holding up a new pair of flip flops with the price tag still on, "What are THESE? They look just like your other ones. Don't you already have fifteen of these?" Heh, heh. These I found during our Walmart run. There are cute. Bright pink and spongy. There is lace on the toe thong part. They're CUTE. Dammit! He must not have noticed them at the store. So I say "Ohhh... just throw them in. Come on Melly. You know how much I appreciate all this work you're doing. And I will reward you, properly, tonight at home." And I wink. He jams them in the shoe bag. Because it's been a very LONG nine days. And... I have hand. I'm going to need it. So... all the shoes and boots take up another huge suitcase. Then I realize that everthing will NOT fit in our luggage. No possible way. 'Cause we bought some stuff in Florida. And we were already loaded for bear. But... I was thinking ahead. I had held back some of the laundry. Calvin's things. That were pretty much demoed anyway. A couple pair of pants. Some badly stained shirts. Itsakadoozie. 'nuff said. Bunch of VERY smelly socks. A ripped sweatshirt. All Calvin's. So I stuff them in the big garbage under the kitchenette sink. Bye bye. And then, I find another pair of underwear in the cupboard. Tommy's. Now why would they be in the cupboard? OHHHH. He was trying to throw them out. From that day we had no toilet paper. Lovely. They can STAY in the garbage. So I flip them in the can... wishing I had a stick to use. The next Feat of Strength is mine. It's called Zipping My Suitcase. Good luck. I need both Beth and Tommy to sit on it. That works. It's closed. Good thing it's on wheels. 'Cause I can't lift it. At this point DH notices the little white envelope beside the door. I hear his sharp intake of breath. OH MAMA! Ouch. He asks if I would like to see the horror. No thanks. I'll take a look on the plane. 'Cause I'll be miserable there anyhow. Might as well wait. And it goes from bad to worse because Beth announces that there are still some unopened beers in the fridge. Now DH HATES to leave beer. Hates it. He wonders out loud if he should drink it all before we check out. I give him the stink eye. And say, "NO!". That's all it took. 'Cause I have hand. I told you. Then Calvin gets bored and starts to torment Tommy for fun. By taking his precious Baby Lion. Tommy starts screaming and chasing Calvin trying to get it back. He corners Calvin. And rains down blows upon him trying to get Baby Lion back. "Tommy! There has to be a better way!!!!" I scold Calvin and we finish packing. Everyone is unhappy. We're the thrifty, miserable, heading home unhappyhaunts. Disney is almost done. But not quite.

To be continued...

 

[honeybee213]

What are we all going to do with you and ZZub almost done? At least we can count on Vettechick taking a little while longer to entertain us

Whatever happened with the General and the cat? or did I miss that installment

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

sorry for the reminiscing distractions. more often than not, it came across
others were adding their own experiences. because i was new, i just "bunched" them all together. my stories weren't intending to xiss off
your readers. [are you supposed to ask permission first? if so, i didn't
pick that up on the cruise boards]. it is my opinion that if anyone calling
someone a name is very insecure. while some made me felt like they're
trying out for "girls behaving badly" show. and no sir, i am not an it. again, sorry for the wrong impression. i really enjoyed your reports and most of the responses. it is so nice to be reminiscing instead of actually dealing with those things. and good luck with the fix up. p.s. squeak was in reference to the babycart wheels....darn i must be getting old but
it was in the middle of a champagne dinner.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

sorry for the reminiscing distractions. more often than not, it came across
others were adding their own experiences. because i was new, i just "bunched" them all together. my stories weren't intending to xiss off
your readers. [are you supposed to ask permission first? if so, i didn't
pick that up on the cruise boards]. it is my opinion that if anyone calling
someone a name is very insecure. while some made me felt like they're
trying out for "girls behaving badly" show. and no sir, i am not an it. again, sorry for the wrong impression. i really enjoyed your reports and most of the responses. it is so nice to be reminiscing instead of actually dealing with those things. and good luck with the fix up. p.s. squeak was in reference to the babycart wheels....darn i must be getting old but
it was in the middle of a champagne dinner.

Ahhh... that explains it, then. I, actually, enjoyed your posts. Thanks Lil' Grumpy.

 

[ZZUB]

What's that I smell? Are your pants on fire?

 

[Mumbler]

Never say you left behind a fallen soldier!! I'm sure your next post will explain how you managed to either drink or pack the leftover beer!

Or at the very least give it to some unsuspecting lucky tourists that aren't leaving that day.

BTW, I can and will deal with the big long paragraph. I have to use my cursor to follow the words so I don't get lost which is okay because it makes me look busy while I read your posts at work.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

What's that I smell? Are your pants on fire?

Just smoldering. I think.

 

[mrvettechick99]

Hey, I justt wanted to say I enjoy your trip report

 

[kpk89]

Is that the REAL MrVettechick99, or is Ally toying with us? Quick, tell us something ONLY Kory would know.

oh, and Welcome!

 

[javamom]

Hey Mel, did ya get my instructions, eh?

 

[Jennifer48]

Ok so I've wasted 3 days of my life reading your endless trip report that I will never get back! But ya know what? It was sooo worth it! Thank you so much for the entertainment. Now I must go find that Dining Report!

 

[vettechick99]

Hey, I justt wanted to say I enjoy your trip report

Hey, hon! Pick me up some tampons at the store today, k? Kiss, kiss!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Just a few messages to answer...

To javamom: Yes! Thanks! I DID get the instructions. ( For all of you NOT in the know... the Coffee/Software Lady has kindly designed me my own personal way cool avatar. I LOVE it. ) But I haven't been able to sit down and take a bit of time to put it up, yet. Besides being slow... I am working a DEADLINE today. I have a story which I MUST submit to a magazine TODAY. Or else. And it still needs a little work. Ok... a bit more than a little. Like a brazilian wax job worth. And I wasted Sunday throwing up. So... I actually have to do some work today. Ick. I'll try to put the avatar up tomorrow, though. Thanks again.

To honeybee213: The General has thus far been victorious in the Battle for the Furball. This is funny. She came by the other day with the empty carrying cage. Told me to hustle out and bring Lotus in. So I did. No cat. She claims she's getting old and forgets things now. Then she laughed. ARRGGGGHHH! Ha, ha! Points for her. I LOVE her.

To mrvettechick99: Ha, ha, ahhhh ha! WELL... HELLOOOO there! So nice to finally meet you. Sorta. I see that you've FINALLY caught the Disney Bug. That's great! But it is endless... like this TR... and herpes. But in a good way. Like neither of the other two examples. Welcome to the Boards. I wish my DH would join. Maybe I'll tell him there's a BEER FORUM. Yeah. And I hope the name "abeautifulbride" is not already taken. Heh, heh.

Ok... I gotta go bring home the bacon. I'll be back later. Mel.


P.S. Kory... don't forget the tampons! I HATE that.

 

[smilie]

Hey, hon! Pick me up some tampons at the store today, k? Kiss, kiss!

He actually does this for you! My Dh once gave money to a lady in the store, had her pay for them AND had the cashier double-bag them. Geez, you'd think I'd ask him to off someone.

 

[luvmyboys]

What exactly am I supposed to do for entertaiment now? Without my weekly fix of happyhaunt escapades I'll be reduced to *gasp* spending time with my DH!

However, my DS Riley (20 months) is shaping up to be a Calvin Jr., so maybe in a couple of years... Maybe I should be proactive-- learn how to hang drywall and sew new pants?

Thanks for all the laughs Mel! Can't wait for your next trip to WDW!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Alrighty. So. Last night the kids were playing downstairs in the basement. And started to make a lot of noise. Not good noise. But screaming and thudding noises. So I went down to investigate. At the top of the stairs I could hear Calvin yelling "You're not respecting the power of the parka. Respect the power! Respect the parka!" and by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs Beth was sitting on top of him in mid-throttle. Tommy was hopping around like a cricket flailing his arms. Then they saw me and were instantly suspicious looking. I asked them what was going on. Nothing. Apparently. That's what they said anyway. What are you talking about? I asked. Nothing. Again. Do you want to tell me or will there be Fairy Timeouts all around? Nothing. So. My question is this: What could the power of the parka be? Is there some current cultural reference I'm missing? Or is it just another version of Calvin's Donut Baby thing? Ideas? Anyone? Let's get back to Florida, then:

Day 9, Dec 19th. Sadly we left the soldiers behind. Yes. We left the unopened beer, coke and juices behind in the little fridge. I don't know what became of them. I hope someone got to enjoy them though. All I know is that DH would NOT throw them out in the garbage. I agreed so we left them where they lay. So sad. Hopefully Mousekeeping had a bit of a luau with them. We all hauled the stuff downstairs and to the Jeep. I did one final check of the room before we left. Opened every drawer and looked under all the furniture. Because one time we left Beth's Baby Kitten behind at a hotel. And DH was forced to return for it. Which is no fun. Thankfully it was only to Toronto. Not Orlando. But I checked really well just in case. And I found some pictures which were NOT ours. In an envelope. It was a bunch of young men in bras. I'm NOT kidding. Not young young. But like 18-20 years old. It was interesting. To say the least. I left them there in the room though. Back in the crack between the bed and the night table at the back. And just pretended I had never seen them. It was not so magical though. Gotta say. By the time I returned to the car, DH was STILL attempting to wedge all our stuff in. He finally took apart the stroller to get it in on top of everything else. While swearing like a punk rocker. Again. Then I reminded him that we were going to Downtown Disney to do some Christmas shopping so there would be MORE stuff coming. He was VERY CRABBY by this point. Let me just say. We climbed in and waved goodbye to the BCV. He opened and closed the sunroof and we were off. At DTD we went for lunch to the Earl of Sandwich. Then we split up to shop. I took Tommy. I got a few presents for DH, the kids and my Mom. I made sure everything was fairly small. Didn't really want to irritate him further. We hooked back up and went to return the car. They gave us a lift to the airport. Where Calvin announced he felt like he had to puke. Got on the plane and had a fairly uneventful flight home. Everyone slept through it except me. I spent the nearly three hours wailing and moaning over the amount of money we spent in the last 9 days. I actually had two drinks on the plane. Then... we had a very bad landing in Buffalo in a snowstorm. The plane came down at an angle in the blowing snow and landed only one side and then skidded and the other side eventually bumped down. DH looked back at me and said, "Wow. I've been on A LOT of flights but THAT... THAT... was the WORSE landing ever!" It was bad. I nearly soiled myself. And then we drove home. To our real home. Nothing that funny happened. We were all tired. And sad that our vacation was over. You know... a while back on this thread someone said I was lucky. And I am. I know it. Because I have a wonderful family which I love more than life itself. I have great old friends. And now some new ones, I think. All of you. My Disfriends. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me. And putting up with all my asides and rants. And... while I LOVE endless Trip Reports... I HATE long goodbyes. See you all in May. Carpe Diem! G'night Johnboy.


The End.