The Fixer and The Cookmaster:major pixie dust*IT'S FINISHED*EPILOGUE UP!!#389

[jamal]

We landed at Marathon, nearby.

I think the parks maps show smoking areas. It seemed there might be a few in each park. Not sure.

 

[frankenpooh]

Oooh, I like your report. Keep going so we can see if we crossed paths. If you "private jet, concierge level" folks mixed it up with us "minivan, moderate resort" types!

Wasn't it fun to be there, though? I am so in withdrawal this week.

Wow, I figured out had to put something in bold. That will come in handy!

 

[jamal]

Trust me: I drive a minivan (The Silver Bullet) w/ 115k miles on it and do NOT live like this on a regular basis. We had some MAJOR pixie dust for this trip, and that's why I am writing about it!!

Yes, reentry has been very difficult. What is this grocery/laundry/ phone/bill paying thing I'm doing today??????

 

[jw50]

Cool a Private Plane, did you land at Orlando or a different airport.

You made me think about the smoking issue. He never smokes in our house or in a hotel room, but WDW is pretty strict about places that you can. Are there places on a map that shows were smoking is permitted?

The smoking areas are identified on the park maps and you really do need the map to find most of them, most are not obvious or well marked.

 

[jamal]

Part 4, Day 2, Friday, March 24

Mickey and Stitch call at what will be our almost-daily wakeup time: 6:45AM. Only because I am sharing a bathroom with three men and DO NOT want to enter after them do I drag myself to the shower. Now, I love our pretty pretty room, all rehabbed and classy, but what’s with the shower for short people???????? If America is truly taller than we were a century ago, isn’t it time to install showerheads a bit higher when we rehab expensive resorts? I’m only 5’5”; I got to snicker later when DH (6’2”) tried to stand and shower…at the same time.

And now, a getting-dressed story which will tell you more about E, our DS6. This one likes to dress like an NBA player. Sleeveless jerseys and baggy shiny shorts are his fave look; these do not meet the public school dress code. Of course that’s what he’ll get to wear in Disney. Except it’s about 44 degrees. So he has to wait a few days before he can show off his guns (that’s biceps for our city readers).

He also insisted he needed some Crocs for the trip. I thought that seemed reasonable so in February I ordered two pair of navy beach Crocs (one for DS11) from some online outfitter. I always set out the boys Ziploc-bagged clothes in Disney; today the Crocs were next to the clothes.

Except now E is not sure he wants the Crocs. This schtick is par for the course with him. He almost didn’t live until breakfast. He has a mind of his own and that mind does not mind my mind!!! He did get to wear the new Dash shirt I found at the Disney Store at home before I left, so after a stern you’re-not-gonna-talk-to-your-mother-like-that-and-ruin-everybody’s-trip-after-all-the-time-and-money-and-planning-we’ve-done-for-you talk from his loving father, he strutted to breakfast (3 bowls Fruit Loops, 2 cinnamon rolls, 2 cups milk, a banana…standard fare) to get a healthy start to his first park day.

On the monorail to the Most Magical Kingdom, I announced we were all going to keep our eyes out for meltdowns and fights. I do not mean wicked witches in the presence of water OR live wrestling, rather the following:
Meltdowns=mad toddlers/preschoolers having fits of anger, exhaustion, frustration or the gimmes….common at Disney, especially in the hotter months. Surely you know what I mean.
Fights=husbands and wives in loud disagreement.

We decided to tally them each day. I’ll keep you posted and report on the more colorful scenes.

The CookMaster and I were the designated FastPass runners this first day. Our sixth grade sons thought this was hysterical. “Mom, you run like a chicken,” my DS announced. Do you or do you not want to ride Space, Splash, and BTMRR this AM, sweet precious number one son?

Feeling festive and spirited on the highs of Disney, we all decided to enjoy the splendor of a walk-on at Splash Mountain. Except the CookMaster’s DH. You will find out later why we call him Cledus, or Cleetus, or Cleat-us. We never could decide how to spell it. He doesn’t want to get wet. Shouting ‘Party-pooper’ and ‘wimp’ over our shoulders, the seven of us hopped in our no-wait boat.

You know that first turn where other boats are going down the big drop? The one where passing boats sometimes get wet? Yes. It did. That boat DUMPED, well, a Splash-load on top of me and The CookMaster!! Our zesty matching short haircuts were zapped. Worse was the chill of wet cotton clothing that reminded us of our recklessness all day..

By 11 AM:
Meltdowns: 3 Fights: 2

I must go fix some supper for my poor family!! No more chapters today!!! No! No!
I do thank you if you are reading this. If you’re hoping for a quick happy ending, FORGET IT!! There’s MUCH more to come… NEXT Chapter: http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=12180331&postcount=32

 

[Grammyof2]

We love Epics. No need to rush.
Feel free to feed your family and then get back to work.

 

[honeybee213]

I love it! I ran out of ink from printing so much from TGMike!

Hope that few of the meltdowns and fights involved your families

 

[jamal]

As much as I'd like to meltdown a few of the Mickey bars that seem to have traveled home on my hips, I am happy to report that we had no meltdowns in our party. More tomorrow...or the next day..

 

[jamal]

Jamal- Did you ever see that old indy movie? cuz I'm thinking your title was inspired by that. The cook, the butcher, the wife....am I right? Loving your tr Horsegirl

To clear up any confusion about the title of the report, I'll share what I posted on another thread...

Oh no!!! I've never even heard of the movie you all are talking about! No, the title comes from the names The CookMaster's son gave us in the comic books he writes. I am The Fixer b/c I have been known to clear up a problem or two. Pest Control, if you will. As Elaine from Seinfeld once said, "You know me...I walk into a room, problem solved." Well, this funny little 9 year old author has written two comic books starring The Fixer and The CookMaster (his mom, an awesome cook). We solve problems and pests on my flying Fixer-board and her flying Spatula.

OK, this sounds odd. I will have to try to figure out how to send a pic of the comic...

More on the Fixer and CookMaster to come!!

 

[horsegirl]

Jamal-

This is a great report! Really, aand don't worry about the title. Probably not many saw the movie that I am thinking of!

Your trip down gives a whole new meaning to first class!!!!! Wowsie, cool.

Take your time, and keep writing. I guarantee we'll be reading you...

 

[nicolemarie]

Why can't I get off the DIS? I love reading these trip reports! I loved them before, but now that I started one - it's even worse!! Especially folks who were there the same time!!

Keep it up - I'm enjoying it!

 

[jamal]

Part 4 1/2, still Day 2 March 24th

A friendly reminder about the cast-- Me, The Fixer (because I fix problems and situations, not things), 42 year-old obsessive Disney planner, wife and mom
DH 44, Baloo! Told me early in our dating he wanted to honeymoon at Disney. Shrek (sorry, but he is…an ogre with a heart! Everyone calls him Shrek. We’ve never been to Universal so don’t flame me. ) , Mr. Incredible, too.
DS11, A, Calvin AND Hobbes, sweet, the imagineer, black belt, lives for Disney magic, Cal, has firm plans to work for Disney. Not a greedy spender like his brother…
DS6, E, Schmev, made of steel but terrified of Splash Mountain, Happy, Golden Sunshine, Buff. Loves to spend money like his father.

Our friends:They will be known as The Gatelatch family. Explanations to come! Keep reading! CookMaster, GS12, GS9 (Gatelatch sons)
The CookMaster, became my friend through our sons’ friendship. Songbird and lover-of-life, has zesty hair, Scoutmaster, The Magician (you’ll see!)
Cledus B. Gatelatch: The RugDoctor, , Aladdin, can’t vacation more than 6 days
Their DS12, GS12, actor and awesome kid, Boy Scout, Captain Hook, terrific friend to my A!
Their DS9, or GS9, comic book writer extraordinaire, Beat, C, has written two hilarious comic books about “The Fixer” (me) and “The CookMaster” (his mom). More on that later.

When we left our band of eight, seven of us were dripping off Splash Mountain. Did I mention it was cold that morning? The CookMaster and I were disgruntled with our flat hair and drippy waistbands. Then, her phone rang. She had a call from a friend. Not just any friend, but a genuine Disney cast member.

Now, the CookMaster had a glorious performing career in the parks and on the stage of our wonderful now-laid-to-rest Opryland theme park in Nashville. She has been on the stage with many a Grand Old Opry member and is a dynamo of a singer and dancer herself. Whew, the stories she tells!!!!!!! On this day, though, she is chattin’ it up with one of her former Opry stagemates who has gone on to the live stages of your-favorite-park-and-mine. More on his actual cast role later.

This guy, who had lost touch with the CookMaster in recent years, happily answered her pretrip email and is calling with surprises for us!!!!!!!! Yes, all of us!! Cause he knows some really big secrets about how to get sneaky hooty-hoo meet-and greets with characters and performers. And would we be available to wait behind The Castle at the end of the 4:15 Cinderellabration to meet the cast? Do you think the boys would be OK with that? Boys, toys. WE want to go!!!! And yes, our sons will smile and show gratitude in the presence of Disney royalty!! You bet we’ll be there, soggy waistbands or not!!

TourGuideMiKE even allowed us time to go. The day was not even half over, full of promise, and best of all, we still had plenty of time to go back to the Poly for a quick meet-and-greet with our hairdryers….

Lots more to come on Day 2 and we still have 8 more days! I’ll be here forever! But will you????

Jamal, enjoying one of The CookMaster's cookies at the EPCOT gate!!

NEXT chapter:http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=12194138&postcount=39

 

[AshClan]

Ooohhh, this sounds like such a special trip! I'm really enjoying your report! Keep 'em comin!!

(Did you meet the Beast Prince? Rhonda will be SOOOOOO jealous!!)

 

[jamal]

Ooohhh, this sounds like such a special trip! I'm really enjoying your report! Keep 'em comin!!

(Did you meet the Beast Prince? Rhonda will be SOOOOOO jealous!!)

Maaaaaaaayyybe

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Wonderful, wonderful. One of TR Board faithful lurkers checking in to encourage both speed and thoroughness when writing (that is, stretch it out as long as possible while still posting LOTS of installments.)

Amy

 

[jamal]

Thanks Amy. It's nice to know you're along for the read!

A little encouragement makes me want to get the next chapter done faster!

 

[eemiles03]

loving it so far!!!!! Can't wait for te next chapter!

 

[mkjmom]

Great trip report - please tell us more!

 

[jamal]

Part 5, still Day 2, March 24

Excited about the possibilities for our afternoon Gathering with Grandeur, our drying out, now giddy, group proceedded to Philharmagic. We love that show!!! I can smell that apple pie right this minute. Haunted Mansion was next, and GS9 had no intention of going, happyhaunts or not. E felt brave and decided to go with the group (against my better judgment). GS9 and I kept the Bethmemorialhappyhaunt bench well-attended as we watched for meltdowns, fights, and the new category: inappropriate clothing. Now I am ALL for freedoms as laid out by our founding fathers, but I admit I am flummoxed when a guest plans a park day, buys a pricey ticket, then intentionally, dare I say confidently, leaves their home dressed like this:

I felt I should wash my young friend’s eyes out with soap after he was witness to this mess!! Everyone, please, a full-length mirror and/or honest friend is a worthwhile investment…

E reported the HM was pretty scary (I wanted to gooooooo!!!) and did not appreciate the in-character cast members. Someday he’ll appreciate that as the best part, as I learned later that week on the Keys to the Kingdom tour (more later…).

We caught a few minutes of Cinderellabration on our way to Crystal Palace for lunch. Grumpy CM Petra was working the door that day when we were buzzed and stepped forward to be seated:

Grumpy Petra: Party of 8
Me: Hi, that’s us. You rang?
GP: I only see three. I CAN’T seat three.
Me: Well, what about the other five breathing down my neck here??

GP handed us over to Grumpy Terri, our waitress. She didn’t seem very happy about hosting lunch with Pooh and friends that day. I love the Crystal Palace. The 110 Acre Woods crew is so cozy, friendly, and familiar. DS11 claims they have the best macaroni and cheese on the planet. He would know. We like to pose happy when Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet come over

and all sympathetic and gloomy with Eeyore

. For our second TS meal this vacation (Chef Mickey’s the night before…that seems like 100 pages of typing ago…) we had a lovely round table for eight. This was the case many times that week and is one of those little things that plants happy memories about the trip. I mean, we could see and talk to everyone AND give a nice glare or swat at a spouse or child when required.

We finished up and thanked Terri for taking our cards and charging our TS credits. That’s about all she did. Her parting words to the children: “Make sure your parents take their medication!”
Whhhhhaaaaattt?? OK, MAYBE she said, “Have a great rest of your vacation!” but it sure didn’t sound like it.

Before we returned to the Poly to rest and blow dry, we grabbed FPs for Space to smugly use them later in the day. We’ll see how that worked out…

The barbershop quartet was singing on Main Street as we made our way to the exit. Cledus was filming with his BRAND NEW FOR THE TRIP video camera as he did 99.9% of the week. I heard the DHs laughing as they heard the singers work “Lens cap off” into their song.

The CookMaster, meanwhile, had ducked in the Confectionary (love that word)~~ Confectionary~~ Confectionary to buy some of her favorite form of spun sugar in pink and purple.

On the windy launch back to the Poly, E snuggled up to me and confessed he rode the HM to impress the big boys and that it scared him. He didn’t like “the guy with all the green limps on his face” and thought he might have nightmares about them. Green Limps. Yuck.

You people asked for more installments, even if they were shorter, so here it is and, to quote a favorite teacher, you get what you get and you don’t have a fit! Moremoremore tomorrow!!!

NEXT chapter:http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=12200653&postcount=43

 

[ZZUB]

Everyone, please, a full-length mirror and/or honest friend is a worthwhile investment...

You see, this is exactly the kind of good stuff I go looking for in a trip report!

Jamal, I am really enjoying your report so far. I think you've got a real knack for setting the scene for us. Also, unlike someone else's report, I don't get sick to my stomach reading your report.