I have a slight twist on the regular bad parents(that we all freely admit we are). Do any of you have a darling child that is set on proving to the world that you are a bad parent? Here's what my little angel does...
This started a few weeks before winter break. My son decided to stop doing his schoolwork, chores, etc. Apparently, he was starting winter break early and showing up to school in body only, not mind. I, being the epic failure that I am, could not seem to find a way to motivate him and get him back on track. I decided to call his school guidance counselor and tell her my concerns. She told me that she would speak with my son and get back to me.
A day later I get an email from her. Here it is in its entirety...
Hi Mr. ******,
***** was pretty talkative today in class as I understand it from the teachers. I spoke to him at the end of the day in my office. I don't know that he is really bothered by anything but states that he is very tired when he gets home. He says he doesn't eat because you only have healthy food in the house. While this is a good thing, you may want to see if you can compromise on a few things especially so he will eat breakfast. ...something other than Fiber One he says. We did talk about showering, etc. and he promises he will be both clean and quiet. He only has 4 days to go so we'll see.
Now, let's break apart this letter. We can already see what just happened from the tone of the letter. In the counselor's mind, I am the one who needs to change, not my son. He does this all the time. He is excellent on getting the attention off of him and having it focused somewhere else.
She states in the letter that he is tired when he gets home. This is because my son does not feel that he should have a bedtime. So, he doesn't go to sleep when I tell him to. He also doesn't feel that he should have to show up to school on time the next day, as he is tired from staying up late the night before. Makes perfect sense.
Now, on to the healthy foods.(I love when the guidance counselor asks me to compromise. That's all I ever do.) This is a complete fabrication on my son's part. The only truth is that we do have healthy foods and Fiber One products. I am the one who eats the Fiber One and I don't try forcing it on him. There are chips, cookies, etc. in the house. On this particular day when she wrote the letter, and my son was sadly telling her that we only had Fiber One for breakfast - there was Trix, Frosted Flakes, french toast; pancakes, toaster strudels, eggs; bagels and hot cereal. My son must have forgotten about these options. I sent the guidance counselor back a letter defending myself as I have done here. She has not responded.
You see, it's much easier to believe a sad, starving, teary eyed child who only wants to be fed, than some militant, uncompromising "health nut" parent. Notice also, that his classwork and homework was not brought up in the letter. Is my son amazing or what? Look what he did. He manipulated a college educated adult into believing that I am a bad parent. This is not the first adult that he has done this to, and I'm sure it won't be his last. It always ends with me trying to defend myself.
Anyone else have a child as brilliantly devious as this one is?