The epic bad parenting thread

[harleyquinn]

I've got a lot but this is my worst one. On my DD's second birthday we went to a play date and took my 3 y/o DS and 4 year old niece with us. I was driving my mom's car since I drive an Accord and I can't fit three car seats in it. When we pulled up to my house, I realized I didn't have the garage door opener (since I was in my mom's car), so I left the kids in the running car on the driveway while I went through the front door to open the garage door from the inside.

When I opened the garage door, the car started DRIVING into the garage by itself! I had forgotten to put it in park and now it was rolling into the garage. I (stupidly) thought if I shut the garage door really fast it would stop the car, but no, the car rolled into the garage and crashed into the wall. Mind you, three babies are strapped in the backseat!

I ran to open the door and my DS and niece are clutching hands (not unlike Britney Spears' kids in that one famous photo) and crying. They were shouting "The car keeps crashing into things!" " We thought we were going to DIE!" Very dramatic. My DD2 was singing and clapping because she thought she was on a fun ride. I was horrified, but everyone was fine and my mom's car didn't have any damage on it. I call this my "Mother of the Year" moment.

OMG you win! Congrats!

I LOVE this thread!

 

[ckay87]

I've got a lot but this is my worst one. On my DD's second birthday we went to a play date and took my 3 y/o DS and 4 year old niece with us. I was driving my mom's car since I drive an Accord and I can't fit three car seats in it. When we pulled up to my house, I realized I didn't have the garage door opener (since I was in my mom's car), so I left the kids in the running car on the driveway while I went through the front door to open the garage door from the inside.

When I opened the garage door, the car started DRIVING into the garage by itself! I had forgotten to put it in park and now it was rolling into the garage. I (stupidly) thought if I shut the garage door really fast it would stop the car, but no, the car rolled into the garage and crashed into the wall. Mind you, three babies are strapped in the backseat!

I ran to open the door and my DS and niece are clutching hands (not unlike Britney Spears' kids in that one famous photo) and crying. They were shouting "The car keeps crashing into things!" " We thought we were going to DIE!" Very dramatic. My DD2 was singing and clapping because she thought she was on a fun ride. I was horrified, but everyone was fine and my mom's car didn't have any damage on it. I call this my "Mother of the Year" moment.

OMG!!!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I've got a lot but this is my worst one. On my DD's second birthday we went to a play date and took my 3 y/o DS and 4 year old niece with us. I was driving my mom's car since I drive an Accord and I can't fit three car seats in it. When we pulled up to my house, I realized I didn't have the garage door opener (since I was in my mom's car), so I left the kids in the running car on the driveway while I went through the front door to open the garage door from the inside.

When I opened the garage door, the car started DRIVING into the garage by itself! I had forgotten to put it in park and now it was rolling into the garage. I (stupidly) thought if I shut the garage door really fast it would stop the car, but no, the car rolled into the garage and crashed into the wall. Mind you, three babies are strapped in the backseat!

I ran to open the door and my DS and niece are clutching hands (not unlike Britney Spears' kids in that one famous photo) and crying. They were shouting "The car keeps crashing into things!" " We thought we were going to DIE!" Very dramatic. My DD2 was singing and clapping because she thought she was on a fun ride. I was horrified, but everyone was fine and my mom's car didn't have any damage on it. I call this my "Mother of the Year" moment.

 

[CathrynRose]

The car crashing reminded me of another spectacular moment with my now 18 y/o.

We had a car seat that honestly we probably shouldnt have been using. My (maybe 18 or so month old) son, could unbuckle it.

I ran into a gas station, car running, and he decided to unbuckle himself - get into the drivers seat and put the car into drive (it was on the steering wheel).

I looked to my right, and saw my car rolling away. I dropped everything, and ran (and I don't run) RAN like the wind - jumped into the car and slammed onto the brake.

It rolled into a little field and everything (which now has townhomes - he would have smashed into townhomes if it was today).

I looked at him after we stopped and he said "I drive!" all proud. "I drive!!!"



It's funny now.

 

[pixie dust 112]

Sounds like the same relationship I have with my kid. Although I am sorry for all of the years of your life that are being sucked away from you by your demon child, I am happy that I am not alone in this. It is nice that us bad parents have finally found a thread where we can air our grievances on other days of the year, besides Festivus.

Do you run into the "laughing while angry" trap that is sometimes set by the offending child? This is when you are so angry and balling your child out. Then, he does something so funny in the midst of this that your concentration is broken and you end up in tears from laughing so hard. And while laughing, you are telling him that even though you are laughing, he is still in big trouble. I hate that. It just feels like yet another loss for me.

I have even considered taking my son to Disney World and exchanging him through that wonderful "child swap" program that they have. I may yet still do this.

I totally get this. I often have to tell my 14 year old daughter that the only thing keeping her alive is that she is so damn funny!

 

[paintnolish]

The car crashing reminded me of another spectacular moment with my now 18 y/o.

We had a car seat that honestly we probably shouldnt have been using. My (maybe 18 or so month old) son, could unbuckle it.

I ran into a gas station, car running, and he decided to unbuckle himself - get into the drivers seat and put the car into drive (it was on the steering wheel).

I looked to my right, and saw my car rolling away. I dropped everything, and ran (and I don't run) RAN like the wind - jumped into the car and slammed onto the brake.

It rolled into a little field and everything (which now has townhomes - he would have smashed into townhomes if it was today).

I looked at him after we stopped and he said "I drive!" all proud. "I drive!!!"



It's funny now.

I did something similar when I was little at a White Hen pantry. Luckily, I stopped at a parking block! Good parenting runs in my family!

 

[Wall-E1]

How timely! I just had a bad parenting moment this afternoon. I received a phone call from one of my child's teachers at his school.(In the weeks leading up to winter break, I had gotten a few phone calls about him clowning around in class, talking, etc.) So, I get my first call since he returned to school from winter break. The teacher tells me that my son was sitting at his desk and leaned back sideways in his chair, somehow knocking the back of his head into a table. She tells me that he has a huge lump. I think and say this at the same time - "Oh thank god. I thought he was in trouble". I hear silence on the other end. Since I didn't ask or seem to care, the teacher tells me that he is okay. I immediately realize how bad I must have sounded when I thanked god that my son had just knocked his head pretty hard. I try explaining that I was only happy that he wasn't in trouble, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that I am a terrible parent, in her opinion.

The kicker is when I pick up my son and he informs me that he was standing next to the teacher and heard every word I said. He tells me sarcastically that it's so nice that I care about him so much.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

My second grader has been acting out in class and just being a general clown also.

I stopped by his classroom one afternoon to pick him up early. All the kids are working on decorating their paper evergreen trees. Talking, being generally goofy. Only two days till holiday break. [aren't you proud of my PC language?]

They then proceed to start putting away their stuff. My sweet little snowflake takes out his red plastic folding and proceeds to smack himself in the forehead with it.

Me, being the terrible mom I am, say in my sternest adult voice "THAT is not appropriate behavior "insert my child's name here". You stop it now."

Every single child in the room stopped what they doing and "oooo'd" long and low at my child. Apparently my child didn't know I was there. The look on his face was priceless.

Insert mom taking a bow here.

 

[Wall-E1]

I've got a lot but this is my worst one. On my DD's second birthday we went to a play date and took my 3 y/o DS and 4 year old niece with us. I was driving my mom's car since I drive an Accord and I can't fit three car seats in it. When we pulled up to my house, I realized I didn't have the garage door opener (since I was in my mom's car), so I left the kids in the running car on the driveway while I went through the front door to open the garage door from the inside.

When I opened the garage door, the car started DRIVING into the garage by itself! I had forgotten to put it in park and now it was rolling into the garage. I (stupidly) thought if I shut the garage door really fast it would stop the car, but no, the car rolled into the garage and crashed into the wall. Mind you, three babies are strapped in the backseat!

I ran to open the door and my DS and niece are clutching hands (not unlike Britney Spears' kids in that one famous photo) and crying. They were shouting "The car keeps crashing into things!" " We thought we were going to DIE!" Very dramatic. My DD2 was singing and clapping because she thought she was on a fun ride. I was horrified, but everyone was fine and my mom's car didn't have any damage on it. I call this my "Mother of the Year" moment.

That's excellent because you endangered other people's kids besides your own. Bravo! I applaud the effort.

 

[lecach]

I'll tell one on my Mom

I am 40 now and this must have been about 30 years ago - it was definately before people really wore seat belts. We were in my Mom's car (Duster) which was not in the best shape. My BFF and I were in the front seat with my Mom, I was in the middle. We were in a grocery store parking lot and my Mom and I were talking. All of a sudden we looked over and the passenger door had swung open and my BFF was running behind the car! We died laughing but it could have been pretty bad.

My worst one was at Walmart. DS was in the seat of the cart and we were outside looking at flowers. I leaned over to pick some up and let go of the cart. And the cart flipped over! DS got a big scratch on his head and was screaming. A couple came over and helped me get him and our cart back together. We went inside and picked out special bandaids. Whenever we go to Walmart now DS says "remember when the cart turned over?".

 

[Wall-E1]

My next bad parenting decision had an adverse effect on my son's academic performance.

We have something down here called Pinnacle. It is a website that allows parents to check on their children's grades online in real time. It's great. I noticed that my son had a zero on one of his homework projects. I asked him why he didn't do the assignment. He told me that he did, and that he put it on my desk for me to check over. He claimed that I never gave it back to him. I searched all over my work area for it, and it was nowhere to be found. He then wanted me to send a note to his teacher explaining that I lost the assignment, that way he would be allowed to make it up. I, of course, have heard every story in the book from him, so I would not do that. I told him he needed to be more responsible and would have to learn from his mistake.

Well, about a month later, I was going through some business statements that I had filed away, and came across his assignment. It must have gotten mixed up in my paperwork by accident. At this point, I did something terrible. I tore up the assignment and got rid of all evidence of it.

Why would I do such a thing?

1. My son would have never let me live down the fact that it was my fault. He would of had me right where he wanted me for all time if I admitted fault. I would never have any credibility in the future if there were ever any other missing assignments.

2. I did not want to appear irresponsible to my son's teacher.

So, in order for me to save face, my son had to take a hit academically at school.

 

[disney_mommy]

One night my son was getting ready for bed at his usual s-l-o-w spped. I was downstairs and told him to get upstairs and brush his teeth already before I got mad. So he runs upstairs. A few minutes later I hear him stomping on the floor in his room. I'm really mad now, so I felt it would be unwise for me to go talk to him right then. I wait a few minutes and he's stomping again. I holler up the stairs for him to get his butt in gear or else. I can hear him mumbling and stomping in his room, so I go tearing up the stairs ready to lay the smackdown, and he's in his room trapped between his bed and bureau. He had brushed his teeth and was rinsing with mouthwash when he went to the bureau in his bedroom and opened the top drawer. He put too much weight on the drawer and it tipped over onto him. It pushed him back onto his bed and he was trapped between them but couldn't yell for help because he didn't want to spit out the mouthwash and mess up the carpet. He was stomping on the floor to try to get my attention.

Serious mom-guilt about that one, let me tell you.

 

[harleyquinn]

One night my son was getting ready for bed at his usual s-l-o-w spped. I was downstairs and told him to get upstairs and brush his teeth already before I got mad. So he runs upstairs. A few minutes later I hear him stomping on the floor in his room. I'm really mad now, so I felt it would be unwise for me to go talk to him right then. I wait a few minutes and he's stomping again. I holler up the stairs for him to get his butt in gear or else. I can hear him mumbling and stomping in his room, so I go tearing up the stairs ready to lay the smackdown, and he's in his room trapped between his bed and bureau. He had brushed his teeth and was rinsing with mouthwash when he went to the bureau in his bedroom and opened the top drawer. He put too much weight on the drawer and it tipped over onto him. It pushed him back onto his bed and he was trapped between them but couldn't yell for help because he didn't want to spit out the mouthwash and mess up the carpet. He was stomping on the floor to try to get my attention.

Serious mom-guilt about that one, let me tell you.

BTW love the Psych pic in your signature!

 

[paintnolish]

I nominate a friend for this thread. Her 2 year old was playing in the playroom. She could hear him and heard him cry/whine a few times, but it seemed to stop quickly, never escalating. She assumed he was frustrated with a toy or something. Well, about 30 mins later, she went to check on him. He was trapped in the toy box! It was a wood one with a slow shutting lid! He was all tear stained and sweaty. SHe couldn't hear his cries because he was trapped in a wooden box!

 

[disney_mommy]

It's amazing our kids lived through these things, isn't it?

(I can't believe I'm admitting some of these things! It's a good thing I'm anonymous. )

 

[disney_mommy]

BTW love the Psych pic in your signature!

Thanks! Love that show.

 

[harleyquinn]

Thanks! Love that show.

Me too! I lucked into watching the very first episode for some reason and I was hooked!

I'm also a total Gleek--we should be friends!


Okay...back to the funny!

 

[PebblesMK]

I saw the post about the kid getting burnt and it reminded me of a story (with pics) of my uncle when he was younger. The car had a cigarette lighter in it and he pushed it in and it came out red hot. But then the red went away and he thought it meant it wasn't hot anymore so he put it on his nose! He had rings around his nose and still has the scar! Traumatic but oh so funny.

I also began thinking that I was conditioned early to be a bad parent. When I was about 12, my cousins were over and we were in our basement with the cement floors and we were all playing circus. I convinced my little cousin she should be the tight rope walker and made her walk along the back of the couch and I kept pretending to "wiggle the line". She ended up falling off and cracking her head on the cement floor. The knot on her head was almost the size of another head and she started throwing up blood and had a concussion. It's a good thing I blamed it on her sister!

 

[disney_mommy]

Me too! I lucked into watching the very first episode for some reason and I was hooked!

I'm also a total Gleek--we should be friends!


Okay...back to the funny!

Let's!!

I also began thinking that I was conditioned early to be a bad parent. When I was about 12, my cousins were over and we were in our basement with the cement floors and we were all playing circus. I convinced my little cousin she should be the tight rope walker and made her walk along the back of the couch and I kept pretending to "wiggle the line". She ended up falling off and cracking her head on the cement floor. The knot on her head was almost the size of another head and she started throwing up blood and had a concussion. It's a good thing I blamed it on her sister!

That's a terrible story. I bet it scared the crap out of you! You are such a mean cousin!

 

[RadioFanatic]

OK, time to fess up...am I the only parent who has misjudged the distance between the door jam and my kids' head when they were infants?

I am a horrible parent!

OMG - I have done this so many times my almost 2 year old now says "it's alright mama" even before I can say "I'm sorry"!