The epic bad parenting thread

[Wall-E1]

This thread is to share stories about our failures as parents. It is not intended to be used by perfect parents. I only wish to hear from those whose parenting styles could only be described as "inconsistent at best". I know that there will be those that want to judge us and take sides(ex. - "I'm on team.....). I could care less about your opinions of my failures as a parent. I've read your condescending opinions on other threads. You're not welcome here. With that said, I'll begin...

This began as a simple request to get my son to go to bed and quickly spiraled completely out of control. It was almost bedtime for my son and I told him to check the litter boxes before going to bed. Well, when I did this, my son who always tries to be funny, started talking over me. I tried repeating what I had just said and he did the same thing. He would wait until I began talking and then immediately start talking at the same time. What can I say? He's an obnoxious teenager. Finally, I just became disgusted and yelled at him, "Forget it. I'll do it myself. Just go to bed!" Well, at this point, he sheepishly says to me, "Oh, okay dad. What were you asking me to do?" Well now I don't want to tell him. I know his tactics. He is just stalling so he doesn't have to go to bed. I tell him again to just forget it and go to bed. He tells me that he wants to know what I want him to do. This goes on back and forth for several minutes, me becoming more and more angry with each exchange, my son remaining calm, cool and collected. I begin making crazy threats that my son knows I will never follow through on(ex. - selling his Xbox 360, grounding him until the end of the school year, etc.). At this point, my son has me exactly where he wants me, so he goes in for the kill. "Listen dad, we need to sit down and talk about this", he calmly says. Again, I know this is a stall tactic to get to bed later. I tell him that we could have had a talk at anytime over the whole weekend and that we are not going to have a talk thirty minutes past his bedtime. We go back and forth, my son trying to calm me down, but in a mocking sort of way. Finally, I just try walking away and going to a different room to get away from him. He keeps following me around the house and and calmly keeps requesting that I simply tell him what I wanted him to do. The two of us possess equal levels of stubbornness, so I know this isn't going to end well. Finally, I get so disgusted that I begin putting on my sneakers and tell him that I need to leave for awhile, as I can't take it anymore.(I only wanted to go around the block and stop at a Dunkin Donuts to relax and regain my composure) I tell him to do what he wants. Go to bed or don't. I don't care. Just leave me alone. Well, I'm heading to the front door and my son beats me to it and is blocking me. I tell him to move, but he won't. We begin wrestling with the door, me trying to open it, and him putting his full body weight against it. I'm yelling at him to "let me out!" and "I'm leaving!" He's yelling at me to "Get back in the house!" and "You're not going anywhere!" And then it hits me. Somehow, during the course of our argument, our roles had reversed. Here I was playing the role of the angry teenager, threatening to run away. And there my son was, acting like the cool and collected parent, demanding that I get back in the house. How does he do this?He is so diabolical. It drives me crazy when he gets the better of me like this. And yet, there is this small part inside of me that is bursting with pride over his amazing manipulative abilities(if only they were used for good, rather than evil). So that's my bad parenting story. Anyone else feel like confessing their lack of good parenting skills?

 

[WDWKOOK]

This thread is to share stories about our failures as parents. It is not intended to be used by perfect parents. I only wish to hear from those whose parenting styles could only be described as "inconsistent at best". I know that there will be those that want to judge us and take sides(ex. - "I'm on team.....). I could care less about your opinions of my failures as a parent. I've read your condescending opinions on other threads. You're not welcome here. With that said, I'll begin...

This began as a simple request to get my son to go to bed and quickly spiraled completely out of control. It was almost bedtime for my son and I told him to check the litter boxes before going to bed. Well, when I did this, my son who always tries to be funny, started talking over me. I tried repeating what I had just said and he did the same thing. He would wait until I began talking and then immediately start talking at the same time. What can I say? He's an obnoxious teenager. Finally, I just became disgusted and yelled at him, "Forget it. I'll do it myself. Just go to bed!" Well, at this point, he sheepishly says to me, "Oh, okay dad. What were you asking me to do?" Well now I don't want to tell him. I know his tactics. He is just stalling so he doesn't have to go to bed. I tell him again to just forget it and go to bed. He tells me that he wants to know what I want him to do. This goes on back and forth for several minutes, me becoming more and more angry with each exchange, my son remaining calm, cool and collected. I begin making crazy threats that my son knows I will never follow through on(ex. - selling his Xbox 360, grounding him until the end of the school year, etc.). At this point, my son has me exactly where he wants me, so he goes in for the kill. "Listen dad, we need to sit down and talk about this", he calmly says. Again, I know this is a stall tactic to get to bed later. I tell him that we could have had a talk at anytime over the whole weekend and that we are not going to have a talk thirty minutes past his bedtime. We go back and forth, my son trying to calm me down, but in a mocking sort of way. Finally, I just try walking away and going to a different room to get away from him. He keeps following me around the house and and calmly keeps requesting that I simply tell him what I wanted him to do. The two of us possess equal levels of stubbornness, so I know this isn't going to end well. Finally, I get so disgusted that I begin putting on my sneakers and tell him that I need to leave for awhile, as I can't take it anymore.(I only wanted to go around the block and stop at a Dunkin Donuts to relax and regain my composure) I tell him to do what he wants. Go to bed or don't. I don't care. Just leave me alone. Well, I'm heading to the front door and my son beats me to it and is blocking me. I tell him to move, but he won't. We begin wrestling with the door, me trying to open it, and him putting his full body weight against it. I'm yelling at him to "let me out!" and "I'm leaving!" He's yelling at me to "Get back in the house!" and "You're not going anywhere!" And then it hits me. Somehow, during the course of our argument, our roles had reversed. Here I was playing the role of the angry teenager, threatening to run away. And there my son was, acting like the cool and collected parent, demanding that I get back in the house. How does he do this?He is so diabolical. It drives me crazy when he gets the better of me like this. And yet, there is this small part inside of me that is bursting with pride over his amazing manipulative abilities(if only they were used for good, rather than evil). So that's my bad parenting story. Anyone else feel like confessing their lack of good parenting skills?

I haven't even read your post - but I'm in.

But, this is probably going to be my last post.

 

[autumnpalm]

So this thread ISN'T #2 of the other thread.

Okay.

Nothing to see here.

 

[WDWKOOK]

I haven't even read your post - but I'm in.

But, this is probably going to be my last post.

OK, now I've read it, and I definitely can't post again as I am a perfect parent, as evidenced by my being on the DISboards.

Now, even though I am the perfect parent to DD11, she, however, is not the perfect daughter. Those troublesome genes come from DH who is out at the moment and can't defend himself.

I will say that my imperfect DD also has a tendency to shout over me as I am shouting at her (in my indoor voice, of course.) This phenomenon must stem from the fact that ear buds for iPods and DSs are causing serious long-term hearing damage.

I may have a solution: Have you considered toilet-training kitty?

 

[dbogen]

Wall-E1,

you were definately haveing an allergic reaction to the high fructose corn syrup laced dinner you had eaten.

Isn't it great...teenagers I mean....... got 2 of them myself.

 

[Bluestars]

I'm another unwelcome perfect parent chiming in here. Your post sounds likes an episode on cops. Was jail time involved here? Did the litter box get changed? Are you still on your role reversals? Does that mean he has to go to work and you get to play with the Xbox?

So many unanswered questions.

 

[just4today]

Oh good! Another one of these threads.

 

[ajk912]

I am confused. Is this a joke thread or a real thread? If it's a real thread, read paragraph A. If it's a joke thread, read paragraph B.

A) How old is he again? Kids can really test boundaries and drive us crazy as parents. My son is 10 and he is always driving me nuts. He sounds like your kid actually, and I can see him doing that. He takes forever to do his homework, stalls constantly, makes a huge production out of nothing. My bad parenting moments are when I lose my temper and then I feel bad later. But when the kids are THAT trying..ugh..it's hard to stay even keel all the time.

or option B.....

B) I cannot believe your special snowflake would ever misbehave. Please. I think you should give that kid a cookie and praise him just for being alive. It's so hard just to BREATHE..cut him some slack already.

 

[turkeymama]

This thread is to share stories about our failures as parents. It is not intended to be used by perfect parents. I only wish to hear from those whose parenting styles could only be described as "inconsistent at best". I know that there will be those that want to judge us and take sides(ex. - "I'm on team.....). I could care less about your opinions of my failures as a parent. I've read your condescending opinions on other threads. You're not welcome here. With that said, I'll begin...

This began as a simple request to get my son to go to bed and quickly spiraled completely out of control. It was almost bedtime for my son and I told him to check the litter boxes before going to bed. Well, when I did this, my son who always tries to be funny, started talking over me. I tried repeating what I had just said and he did the same thing. He would wait until I began talking and then immediately start talking at the same time. What can I say? He's an obnoxious teenager. Finally, I just became disgusted and yelled at him, "Forget it. I'll do it myself. Just go to bed!" Well, at this point, he sheepishly says to me, "Oh, okay dad. What were you asking me to do?" Well now I don't want to tell him. I know his tactics. He is just stalling so he doesn't have to go to bed. I tell him again to just forget it and go to bed. He tells me that he wants to know what I want him to do. This goes on back and forth for several minutes, me becoming more and more angry with each exchange, my son remaining calm, cool and collected. I begin making crazy threats that my son knows I will never follow through on(ex. - selling his Xbox 360, grounding him until the end of the school year, etc.). At this point, my son has me exactly where he wants me, so he goes in for the kill. "Listen dad, we need to sit down and talk about this", he calmly says. Again, I know this is a stall tactic to get to bed later. I tell him that we could have had a talk at anytime over the whole weekend and that we are not going to have a talk thirty minutes past his bedtime. We go back and forth, my son trying to calm me down, but in a mocking sort of way. Finally, I just try walking away and going to a different room to get away from him. He keeps following me around the house and and calmly keeps requesting that I simply tell him what I wanted him to do. The two of us possess equal levels of stubbornness, so I know this isn't going to end well. Finally, I get so disgusted that I begin putting on my sneakers and tell him that I need to leave for awhile, as I can't take it anymore.(I only wanted to go around the block and stop at a Dunkin Donuts to relax and regain my composure) I tell him to do what he wants. Go to bed or don't. I don't care. Just leave me alone. Well, I'm heading to the front door and my son beats me to it and is blocking me. I tell him to move, but he won't. We begin wrestling with the door, me trying to open it, and him putting his full body weight against it. I'm yelling at him to "let me out!" and "I'm leaving!" He's yelling at me to "Get back in the house!" and "You're not going anywhere!" And then it hits me. Somehow, during the course of our argument, our roles had reversed. Here I was playing the role of the angry teenager, threatening to run away. And there my son was, acting like the cool and collected parent, demanding that I get back in the house. How does he do this?He is so diabolical. It drives me crazy when he gets the better of me like this. And yet, there is this small part inside of me that is bursting with pride over his amazing manipulative abilities(if only they were used for good, rather than evil). So that's my bad parenting story. Anyone else feel like confessing their lack of good parenting skills?

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard at this. Too funny. I have these moments with my daughter (not the wrestling) and she's only 9. And I keep telling myself, sooner or later all these "abilities" she has will serve her well, if only I could channel them for good, productive purposes.

 

[rie'smom]

Bad parent thread? I have a feeling that this might get very lonely. Most DISsers have perfect kids who make perfect grades and then go on to find the cure for cancer.

I have a 34 yo son, a 25 yo son, and a 15 yo daughter. While I do my best, I could sit here and write pages of mistakes that I've made but I'll spare you. I will say that I too had the experience of a kid blocking my way.

To give hope to those who have less than perfect children: my 25 year old was a sullen oppositional defiant teen. I cried over this kid every day. At about 21, some switch clicked in his brain and he did a 180. He's the sweetest, most loving son. When we're on the phone, he tells me he loves me before I can say it sometimes. This from a kid who used to call me a fat ***** ( I weighed 120). He's been steadily employed and is getting ready to open his own company. Now, I can't wait for the switch to go on for my 15 yo. God, are you reading this?

 

[happygirl]

So this is going to be a imperfect parent clique thread

 

[Wall-E1]

I am confused. Is this a joke thread or a real thread? If it's a real thread, read paragraph A. If it's a joke thread, read paragraph B.

A) How old is he again? Kids can really test boundaries and drive us crazy as parents. My son is 10 and he is always driving me nuts. He sounds like your kid actually, and I can see him doing that. He takes forever to do his homework, stalls constantly, makes a huge production out of nothing. My bad parenting moments are when I lose my temper and then I feel bad later. But when the kids are THAT trying..ugh..it's hard to stay even keel all the time.

or option B.....

B) I cannot believe your special snowflake would ever misbehave. Please. I think you should give that kid a cookie and praise him just for being alive. It's so hard just to BREATHE..cut him some slack already.

As much as I hate to admit it, this episode happened exactly as I posted. So, paragraph A would be appropriate. Oh, and he is fourteen. That explains why he knows everything. I don't feel bad about losing my temper because I know it doesn't hurt his feelings in any way. To him, I am just something to be toyed with for his own personal amusement. It probably gave him great satisfaction to unravel me the way he did. I'm sure this ability of his will help him later in life when he becomes a defense attorney and is able to plant the seeds of doubt into the jury by unnerving credible witnesses, even though the accused is obviously guilty. But, until that day arrives, I must suffer alone and in silence at the hands of a child who I'm beginning to think is smarter than me.

 

[Wall-E1]

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard at this. Too funny. I have these moments with my daughter (not the wrestling) and she's only 9. And I keep telling myself, sooner or later all these "abilities" she has will serve her well, if only I could channel them for good, productive purposes.

Well, just to be clear. We were not wrestling with each other. We were wrestling for the doorknob. Not that it makes the situation any better.

 

[MizTink]

i'm not a bad parent......i just have an 18 year old girl living in my home with my 16 year old son (and their baby!). plus my 16 and i fear 14 year olds sometimes smoke pot behind my back.
i let my kids stay up 1/2 the night if it's not a school night. i don't like to cook. i hate cleaning. i don't buy organic and sometimes we even eat fast food and drink soda i could go on and on........

 

[Wall-E1]

Bad parent thread? I have a feeling that this might get very lonely. Most DISsers have perfect kids who make perfect grades and then go on to find the cure for cancer.

I have a 34 yo son, a 25 yo son, and a 15 yo daughter. While I do my best, I could sit here and write pages of mistakes that I've made but I'll spare you. I will say that I too had the experience of a kid blocking my way.

To give hope to those who have less than perfect children: my 25 year old was a sullen oppositional defiant teen. I cried over this kid every day. At about 21, some switch clicked in his brain and he did a 180. He's the sweetest, most loving son. When we're on the phone, he tells me he loves me before I can say it sometimes. This from a kid who used to call me a fat ***** ( I weighed 120). He's been steadily employed and is getting ready to open his own company. Now, I can't wait for the switch to go on for my 15 yo. God, are you reading this?

This is the "hope" that I cling to everyday. I always tell friends that I truly believe that one day a "switch" will be triggered and all will change. Everybody shakes their heads and looks sadly at me. Now, I have proof that this has actually occurred. Thank you.

 

[Wall-E1]

i'm not a bad parent......i just have an 18 year old girl living in my home with my 16 year old son (and their baby!). plus my 16 and i fear 14 year olds sometimes smoke pot behind my back.
i let my kids stay up 1/2 the night if it's not a school night. i don't like to cook. i hate cleaning. i don't buy organic and sometimes we even eat fast food and drink soda i could go on and on........

I don't consider that bad parenting. You sound like a real parent who is able to be honest. Your children may have made some poor decisions, but that's what kids do. The issues you listed don't seem especially catastrophic. It's not like you have children that are in trouble with the law, or are hooked on drugs(oh come on people, who hasn't smoked pot when they were a teenager?)

 

[erincon23]

I can certainly sympathize. I have one fairly close to perfect kid (biggest problem is that he decided early on not to do homework at school so his grades are not the straight As perfect parents expect) -- he's talented, handsome, passionate about music, does his chores when asked (most of the time). I take no credit.

The other one is the one that has made me say that if I ever have to homeschool him (and it still may come to that), I'd probably kill him. He's willful, defiant, not well-acquainted with the truth... I love him, I really do, but sometimes I think he really ought to run away from home. Or I will. Right now, he couldn't, as he's recovering from what should have been a minor back injury and has turned into 12 months of agony (to both of us), including being home almost all of this this school year so far. I've yelled at him, threatened and gone back on every punishment in the book, offered bribes both major and minor ... I'm hoping that "switch" mentioned earlier turns on in this kid. He's the funniest kid I've ever met, fantastic sense of humor, very theatrical -- but he makes me want to shut myself in a black room and hide. I'm sure it's all my awful parenting, as my own parents often tell me. I'm inconsistent, lax, not hard enough on him, make too many excuses...

but then how to explain the other kid? I think this one's a changeling. That's what I've decided.

Erin

 

[MizTink]

I don't consider that bad parenting. You sound like a real parent who is able to be honest. Your children may have made some poor decisions, but that's what kids do. The issues you listed don't seem especially catastrophic. It's not like you have children that are in trouble with the law, or are hooked on drugs(oh come on people, who hasn't smoked pot when they were a teenager?)

lol. so true!! but you know how the dis can be.......if your post hadn't been so entertaining i bet you would have been put down for how you handled yourself/your son. shoot, it's not too late!!!

 

[Wall-E1]

I've yelled at him, threatened and gone back on every punishment in the book, offered bribes both major and minor ... I'm hoping that "switch" mentioned earlier turns on in this kid. He's the funniest kid I've ever met, fantastic sense of humor, very theatrical -- but he makes me want to shut myself in a black room and hide. I'm sure it's all my awful parenting, as my own parents often tell me. I'm inconsistent, lax, not hard enough on him, make too many excuses...
Erin

Sounds like the same relationship I have with my kid. Although I am sorry for all of the years of your life that are being sucked away from you by your demon child, I am happy that I am not alone in this. It is nice that us bad parents have finally found a thread where we can air our grievances on other days of the year, besides Festivus.

Do you run into the "laughing while angry" trap that is sometimes set by the offending child? This is when you are so angry and balling your child out. Then, he does something so funny in the midst of this that your concentration is broken and you end up in tears from laughing so hard. And while laughing, you are telling him that even though you are laughing, he is still in big trouble. I hate that. It just feels like yet another loss for me.

I have even considered taking my son to Disney World and exchanging him through that wonderful "child swap" program that they have. I may yet still do this.

 

[golfgal]

Ok, so when DS17 was about a year old, he was cranky and getting on my nerves so I put him to bed in his crib. At first he was fine then about 5 minutes later he was crying his head off-screaming. I was ignoring him because he really needed a nap. I went in after about 5 minutes of this and his lip was stuck under the plastic cover on the railing of his crib. He had blood everywhere--HORRIBLE PARENT--and worse yet--all TRUE.