The Duggars family TV show premieres this Sat.

[aprilgail2]

How can you draw so many conclusions about what these folks do when they are not not on camera based on the very short time they are on camera?

Mine are based on their OWN website...its just sick...the "sit and stay" part remind me of training a dog....I just can't imagine training my precious child like a dog!

 

[chobie]

diversity apparently has its limits.

Limits? Are people calling for laws to be passed to stop them from living their lives this way? Any constitutional amendments being drafted to stop this lifestyle choice?

Making comments about a familiy that prostitutes itself on tv is limiting diversity? How so?

 

[ducklite]

I have two concerns with this family.

As I've expressed before, I think that making the older children responsible for raising the younger children is wrong. Helping out is one thing, but they seem to cross the line. Let them be kids, there's plenty of time to raise their own kids down the line.

The second is what appears to be a cutoff from the reality of the outside world. I'm concerned that these kids will have problems adapting into the "real world" as they get older and need to venture off to find work, find a partner, and start a family of their own.

When I was in high school, I worked with a "Mr. Dugger." He and his wife had eight or nine kids and lived in a three bedroom mobile home. They were fundamentalists, but didn't attend a church. I'm not even going to get into the whole mess that ended up happening with them, I believe there were mental illness issues with both the husband and wife, but bottom line the kids ended up in all srts of trouble when they had to face the "real world". It wasn't a happy ending for any of them.

Anne

 

[DVCLiz]

I've been thining about this some more, and I really think it's a matter of context and the fact that there is a religious element to it, for me.

When my daughter spent a week building houses for Habitat, I was proud and she got an award at school for it. If she were a Duggar, I'd feel that she was being used as cheap labor.

When my daughter came home the other night and said, "Mom, I'll make dinner" I was thrilled and proud that she could do it. If she were a Duggar, I'd think of her as a maid.

When my daughter wanted to wear something special the other day, she said, "Mom, don't take a shower yet - I'm doing laundry." If she were a Duggar, she'd be doing ten loads a day!!

All the same skills - just a matter of context. When my child does them, I feel like I've done something good as a parent - teaching her life skills, etc. When I watch the Duggars do it, I realize that for all the talking we do about how much we want our children to be self sufficient, there's a line that we feel the Duggars cross.

 

[DVCLiz]

Mine are based on their OWN website...its just sick...the "sit and stay" part remind me of training a dog....I just can't imagine training my precious child like a dog!

Neither can I, but then again I used a playpen, so really, I DID treat my child like a dog. Again, it's a matter of context. And to be fair to the Duggar mom, she said the key words were "sit" and "quiet", didn't she? Not "sit" and "stay."

 

[chobie]

As for the show--the little kids were cute. And the "perpendicular" moment was the highlight. Other than that it was very boring.

 

[ducklite]

I've been thining about this some more, and I really think it's a matter of context and the fact that there is a religious element to it, for me.

When my daughter spent a week building houses for Habitat, I was proud and she got an award at school for it. If she were a Duggar, I'd feel that she was being used as cheap labor.

When my daughter came home the other night and said, "Mom, I'll make dinner" I was thrilled and proud that she could do it. If she were a Duggar, I'd think of her as a maid.

When my daughter wanted to wear something special the other day, she said, "Mom, don't take a shower yet - I'm doing laundry." If she were a Duggar, she'd be doing ten loads a day!!

All the same skills - just a matter of context. When my child does them, I feel like I've done something good as a parent - teaching her life skills, etc. When I watch the Duggars do it, I realize that for all the talking we do about how much we want our children to be self sufficient, there's a line that we feel the Duggars cross.

But in your case your daughter was volunteering. I don't think the Dugger kids are given a choice. If you asked your daughter to take care of the laundry, and she asked if she could do the dishes instead, my guess is that you would acquiesce (had to pull out the Websters for that spelling LOL!). I don't think this would happen in the Dugger home.

Anne

 

[DVCLiz]

But in your case your daughter was volunteering. I don't think the Dugger kids are given a choice. If you asked your daughter to take care of the laundry, and she asked if she could do the dishes instead, my guess is that you would acquiesce (had to pull out the Websters for that spelling LOL!). I don't think this would happen in the Dugger home.

Anne

True!!! And in my case, if my daughter asked to do dishes OR laundry on a regular basis, or for any reason other than her own immediate need, I'd have a cardiac on the kitchen floor - she is as far from being a Duggar as it is possible to be!!!!

Excellent spelling, btw!!!

 

[pamlet]

I missed the show last night - but saw the first one.. and have gone through their website.

A couple "comments about comments"...

- her hair ... there are a fair amount of "fundamental" Christian woman who believe that long hair is a glory to a woman. If that's the way she wants to wear it then who really care? As an aside - someone made reference to Bob Jones and Pensacola... I can't speak for Pensacola - but while you saw a few girls at Bob Jones with similiar hair styles ... for the most part girls there keep up with modern hair trends.. At least they did when I graduated from there... ohhhhh 26 years ago.. laugh... but seriously - they still do. As for Hyles Anderson... yep they're a little creepy.

- WHAT they feed their children.... for pete's sake... so they eat canned and frozen food. And they like burritos... the kids don't look obese... OR malnourished....

- The amount of work the kids do.... SO WHAT... the kids are learning that hard work brings results.

This family chooses to raise their family the way they want to... I've known similiar families... and their kids have turned out fine.

For those of you who think this is somehow detrimental to the kids... what negative effect do you think it will have on the kids in the future?

 

[ducklite]

I think that humans need to have time to be children, and if they can't do so when they ARE children, they will do so as adults. An extreme example is Michael Jackson.

The family I mentioned earlier also had their kids go crazy when they left the nest.

IMHO there's a big difference between raising your kids to be esponsible, and raising them in an opressive environment. It looked oppressive with what I saw.

And like another poster I also saw children with a sad look in their eyes. Happy on the outside, but the eyes are the window to the soul...

Anne

 

[Lorix2]

I just don't see how the parents can really give any of them any attention to their emotional needs and it does seem that the older kids are responsible for the younger ones, that doesn't seem fair to me.

Heck, I've got only 2 kids, a house under major renovation, a part time job and I can't keep up around here lately and even when things are normal

 

[pamlet]

In a group of 16 kids there were a couple with sad eyes? uhhhhh at any given moment of a group of that many kids there are bound to be sad ones...

Are your kids happy and cheerful all the time?

I think it's a more than a LITTLE extreme to compare these kids to Michael Jackson.... there were probably a LOT of other factors that contributed to the way he is other than not being allowed "to have time to be children"... maybe like an abusive father.. and being in a "show biz" environment 24/7 ?

As to kids who "go crazy" when they left the nest... well I've known a LOT of "fundamentalist" families... and of the kids who "go crazy" tend to go crazy by listening to contemporary christian music, going to movies at the THEATER... and the girls wearing pants... Now THAT is WILD...

 

[dtuleya]

I'm watching now. Letting the kids watch arc welding without goggles? Are they nuts?!?!

Anne

That's one of the same things I thought! Let's also mention sawing, using drill and other power equipment and totally being unsupervised while they use these items. I thought there were child labor laws?

Also their diet stinks! Frozen burritos, tater tot casserole, canned veggies...the only thing good I saw was some fresh fruit on the "buffet".

Also, did you notice one of the older girls was feeding Jackson canned peas right out of the can? Cold, yucky, mushy, high sodium peas.

Heck with all the cans they open they can probably recycle them and build a pool next!

Even though the boys wanted to share the room, one of the younger boys showed us his "hideout" so he could be alone.

We chose not to have a third child due to concerns over finances and our ability as parents to spend quality time with each of our sons. I know there are many people who are able to do this with 3, 4 and even more children, but there is absolutely no way those two adults are "parents" to all those children. They have free help with the older children who have had to grow up way too fast. It makes my heart break for those girls especially. They became mothers the day they were born. I hope they all grow up not to resent the situation they were born into.

 

[disykat]

I watched late last night. I thought they seemed much more normal than I expected. I have a few comments.

About the laundry - one child was "in charge", but they showed everyone helping with the laundry and the mom getting up in the middle of the night to switch the loads. I don't know how that is making one child do the laundry.

About the boy/girl roles - the girls had their own drills and they showed them building the house right along with the boys.

About the hugs - I don't think the fact that the tv didn't show any hugs means there aren't any.

But then again, I grew up cooking dinner EVERY night, I shared a room, what do I know?

I actually believed her when she said the kids had wanted to share rooms. It's not like they don't have enough space in that house.

Watching the kids work didn't bother me. I have two kids - one thrives on work and would LOVE to build a house. From the time he could toddle, he's wanted tool belts, etc. He got a leaf blower for his 13th birthday last year. My other child is more "normal", but he would have loved having his own drill and the chance to drill in screws. They put in a great playroom, I'm going on the assumption they'll be allowed to use it.

Their lifestyle isn't one I'd choose, but it didn't seem abusive to me.

 

[monsterkitty]

What I could't get past was the way one of the girls dropped the cat at the end of a family photo shoot about 15 minutes from the end of the show.

The poor cat landed on its side while the girl ran to the house. She didn't even look back at the kitty.

Oh, and just because the children aren't over weight doesn't mean that damage isn't being done by their poor diet. I would hate to see what their cholestral levels are.

 

[chobie]

What I could't get past was the way one of the girls dropped the cat at the end of a family photo shoot about 15 minutes from the end of the show.

The poor cat landed on its side while the girl ran to the house. She didn't even look back at the kitty.

Oh, and just because the children aren't over weight doesn't mean that damage isn't being done by their poor diet. I would hate to see what their cholestral levels are.

Well maybe the poor diet helps keep them dull and obedient. Along with all the chores they don't have the energy to think about what kind of world exists outside their compound.

 

[DVCLiz]

Another point, just to add a little to the mix...

When I was a teenager, I found a book in the library called "Who Gets the Drumstick?" It was an autobiogrpahy, written by the mom, about a family named Beardsley. The mom and dad were each widowed - one had ten children, the other had eight. They met, fell in love and married. Because they were a "Navy" family, they kept things shipshape with some of the same organizational tools the Duggars used. I loved this book and read it many times growing up.

Was it just that times were different? Was it that there was a religious aspect to it? Was it that the Duggar kids seem so restricted? Because the Beardsleys were in magazines, they did at least one commercial (for a bread company) and they had a movie made about them - "Yours, Mine and Ours" starring Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball. It was recently remade with Rene Russo and Dennis Quaid.

Another large family - but I never read or heard any outcry about not being able to parent that many.

Interesting....

 

[tuckerkeys]

after i watched the show, i was wondering about the oldest boy, and his interests in video and film....a boy like that should go to film school.....but with his home AV set up, are they seriously going to have him NOT go to film school??? is he going to marry at 19 like his dad did and have film be a hobby? i feel bad for him if he will not pursue his film interests in the real world....he even has a foot in the door with the work he did on this show, and the people he has met through TLC....

 

[chobie]

Another point, just to add a little to the mix...

When I was a teenager, I found a book in the library called "Who Gets the Drumstick?" It was an autobiogrpahy, written by the mom, about a family named Beardsley. The mom and dad were each widowed - one had ten children, the other had eight. They met, fell in love and married. Because they were a "Navy" family, they kept things shipshape with some of the same organizational tools the Duggars used. I loved this book and read it many times growing up.

Was it just that times were different? Was it that there was a religious aspect to it? Was it that the Duggar kids seem so restricted? Because the Beardsleys were in magazines, they did at least one commercial (for a bread company) and they had a movie made about them - "Yours, Mine and Ours" starring Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball. It was recently remade with Rene Russo and Dennis Quaid.

Another large family - but I never read or heard any outcry about not being able to parent that many.

Interesting....

Well, your not the first person on these threads to try to make this into a religion bashing issue. But it isn't. Nice try at however.

The movie you are talking about was quite fictionalized by the time the autobiography was made into a screenplay -- not the same as bringing cameras into your bedroom.


Most of the negative comments about this family are based on the cloisturing of the children from the rest or the world. I don't recall that from the movie version of the family you are speaking about.

And yes, the times have changed and the idea of trying to limit children's choices by not allowing them to know of any other life style is frowned upon.

Of course, that's all it is--frowned upon. No one is suggesting they should be charged with child abuse or that their should be laws against it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Oh good grief...I'll agree the diet sucks along with everyone else...but they are far from the first and far from the last family to have such a terrible diet. Heck, by todays average american diet they are pretty darn normal.

So before knocking how they eat--don't forget that many share the same horrid diet. Kids will still grow.

Judging their family as horrid for that...you are just creating a tally list as justification for their horrible parenting. The diet proves absolutely nothing on their parenting.


tuckkeys--he doesn't necessarily have his foot in the door at all. He is still in high school (homeschool version anyway).