Sorry about all the drama over the pictures. You'd never believe the negotiations behind this whole farce. At least it gives you all some insight into my everyday life. The story behind this story would make a full scale novel in itself.
And didn't I tell you they were hotties? In fact I don't think "hottie" begins to express how lovely the Delaney Girls are. And the prettiest is all mine!!!!
A Surprise Visitor and Jesse James Wannabes:
Saturday:
I woke up at 6:30, late for me, and then did the unthinkable. I rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour. I woke up to the Princess telling me that she needed to watch cartoons. Belle had the remote, turned on the Disney channel and got up to make coffee on the in room machine.
I was bleary eyed despite nearly ten hours of sleep. All the battling with Cruella must have taken its toll on me I decided.
Then I realized that it was Moving Day! We were off to the Contemporary.
I had yet to tell Belle where we were staying or what we were doing. She happily left such details to me. The girl does like surprises.
Once up and awake I began packing our belongings for the move. And I immediately realized that I was in trouble. The bags that we brought from home were already filled. As you may recall we bought so much clothing that if it had been invested properly my daughters education would be covered.
In any event with the bags full to bursting there was still a pile of clothing three feet high. The store bags they arrived in were long gone.
What to do? Gift shop to the rescue!
I am now the proud owner of four, count them four, canvas bags with a marvelous reproduction of Mickeys proud visage on them.
Once packed I resolved that it was time to get some breakfast. We went over to the Garden Grove in the Swan hotel. On Saturday morning they have a character breakfast and it was nearly empty that morning. Pluto met us at the door and escorted the server and our little party to our seats.
After eating way too much I was actually ready for a nap but I figured 9am was a bit too early to go back to bed. Besides we needed to clear out of the Boardwalk and get our butts over to the Contemporary.
The process of getting out of the Boardwalk was largely uneventful with the exception that I did notice that it took the Bellman two carts with all Belles International Drive acquisitions to get us out of the Inn. That was another looming problem somewhere in the future.
I was actually sorry to leave the Boardwalk. I liked the atmosphere and conveniences along with the Boardwalk itself.
It took no time to get over to the Contemporary. Once there I approached check-in with a bit of trepidation given my greeting on arrival at the Boardwalk. However my luck had really turned for the better. I guess the gods were pleased with my near sacrifice of Cruella two days earlier.
Youll remember that I had booked a garden room, probably with a nice view of the parking lot, but apparently they were out of nice rooms with the blacktop view. So they upgraded us to a Tower Room on the seventh floor with a nice view of the lake and the Grand Floridian in the distance. It was even one of the recently redecorated rooms and was beautiful although a bit on the dark side unless the curtains were wide open.
We spent 10 minutes poking into all of the drawers and corners of the room with the appropriate oohing and aahing. We were a happy crew at that moment. The Princess was pleased since this room had two Queen beds and that meant that she was going to get off the fold out. Belle was happy with the bathroom and the view from the balcony. I was ecstatic with the lack of Cruella.
When Stinky and Belle went out on the balcony they came back in bubbling and thrilled with how close we were to the Magic Kingdom. I had scored nicely with Belle over the move to the Contemporary and was about to win a few more brownie points. Since Belle had been in hard combat with the devil Cruella all week she was ready for a vacation from her vacation and I was ready to accommodate her. Belle left all of the arrangements to me and I was drunk with power that I rarely experienced.
I announced that we were off to lunch without telling them where. Yesterday while sunning myself outside the Boneyard at the Animal Kingdom Id arranged a few surprises for my little family and one of them was lunch today.
We walked over to the Magic Kingdom slipped right through the security, collected a stroller, and walked up Main Street to the Crystal Palace. We got there just at 11:40 for our reservations and amazingly were seated immediately.
As we walked through the door Tigger was leading a bouncing parade right in front of us. We worked our way to our seats and just as we were about to settle in Tigger marched by and the Princess joined the parade. For 10 minutes she danced her way around the room with 30 other kids happy to be on the loose and loving the music.
With the ending of the parade I took the opportunity to grab the Stink and head for the food. One look at the buffet and I thought I had found my heaven. The Princess however was considerably less convinced. She reluctantly took a small portion of mac and cheese and settled into her seat to begin a staring contest with her food. I was betting on the Stink.
Now me I loaded up on a bit of everything. I needed a second plate. However while I found the food OK and the ideas behind the various offerings were inspired I found them largely tasteless. Only the garlic smashed potatoes and the romaine, beef, and bleu cheese salad were memorable. I guess Disney was substituting quantity for quality. Very disappointing.
Belle had the stir-fried curry noodles, the tofu curry, and some fruit. I think her diet accounts for that incredible figure of hers but I like my chow too much for that kind of restraint. Tofu and fruit yechhhh!!!! I rely on the gym to keep my girlish figure rather than restraint at the table.
Once we had refilled my belly the Princess took over and insisted on riding Splash Mt. and Small World. We did both and Mickeys Philarmagic for good measure.
The Park was getting crowded by then so back to the Contemporary for the Princesss nap. I decided to help her. Belle decided to try out the fitness room. Probably to try and work off that big lunch of tofu and fruit.
I was just getting to sleep when the phone in the room rang causing me to spring awake. It was Cruella.
She greeted me as if nothing had happened and asked how we were. I mumbled something while I wondered how she had found us. I thought wed lost her. That woman can certainly sniff out her victims when she thinks she needs something.
It seems that she and her friends had found a motel somewhere along Route 192. They were stranded in Orlando by the snow too. I guess there was no happiness among the girls either. And they had no transportation and there was no food nearby and she hadnt been prepared for the expense (or just didnt want to part with a few bucks to take care of herself). She was sorry over her little indiscretion and she had really, really meant to pay me back so could she please come back to stay with us pretty please with sugar on top and shed promise not to cause anymore trouble.
She finally stopped for a breath, yes she said all that in a single breath, I jumped in. Ill have to talk it over with Belle I said.
I heard her caught short on the other end of the phone.
Shell never let me back, Cruella said accusingly.
Maybe is all I could say. I took her number and said that shed hear from us in a couple of hours.
Then I couldnt get back to sleep.
So I got up and read for a bit until Belle came back. I told her about Cruella. I asked her what we should tell Cruella and Belles answer was to tell her to go to well you get the idea.
I called Cruella, Belle wouldnt speak to her, and delivered a variation on the sentiment that Belle had expressed but in much nicer language.
Cruella cried.
There really is something unfair with the way the world works when you cant feel good about seeing someone as evil as Cruella get her just deserts. Or maybe its just a character defect in me. I wish Cruella would find herself a husband to torment. At least that would put those good looks of hers to some worthwhile use.
The Princess had been up for a while and was zoned out on the Disney Channel on TV. I wasnt feeling too good about myself at that moment and was about to suggest that we head over to the Magic Kingdom both to put the Cruella incident behind me and to get the Stink away from the TV. Belle, however, announced that she had plans for us that evening. I was game so agreed to put myself into her hands.
She ordered me into the shower to get ready. As with most guys I spiffy-ed up in a few minutes. When I came out of the bath there were clothes laid out for me on the bed. Now Belle is always complaining that I should dress better and as she sometimes will do she had taken action to make it happen. She shopped for me.
I hate it when she does that.
Anyway I knew right away that we were doing something at least semi-fancy because there was a sport jacket involved.
Hmmm. Like Ive said earlier Ive been married a while and not entirely stupid so I kept my mouth shut and picked up the jacket to try on. Being a 48 extra long makes jackets acquisitions tough.
I offered to begin getting the Princess ready but Belle announced that she wasnt going with us. I was about to cloud up, no stranger was babysitting my Princess, when as if on que there was a knock on the door.
It was Sleeping Beauty, my Nicole Kidman look alike sister-in-law if only-Kidman-was-prettier-and-had-a-better-figure. I thought she was buried in snow back in New York but no she had been on a catalog photo shoot in Miami all week. Evidentially when we extended our stay the day before Belle had been as busy on the phone as I had. It worked out well because there were no more planes into New York from Miami than there were from Orlando.
So Sleeping Beauty was with us until Monday and that was OK with me. Sleeping Beauty is no Cruella. Besides if we were going out there was no one in the world better to watch our little Princess. Sleeping Beauty is the Pincesss godmother and Stinky loves her.
Anyway I dressed quickly and was immediately banished to the balcony with icy cold Molson Ale that Belle had magically produced from somewhere. I have always thought that there was some witch in with all those fine Delaney female genetics. Thats OK Belle only uses her powers for good.
About an hour later I was allowed back in the room. Belle was wearing a spandex white dress with the huge gold necklace that we had picked up in Venezuela 7 or 8 years ago. Sleeping Beauty insisted on a picture. I had visions of going to the prom or something.
I noticed our relative height and looked at her shoes. Belle was wearing heels that had to be 4 inches high. I always wonder how women can stand to wear those things. This made her about 2 inches over 6 feet but still 4 or 5 inches shorter than me.
Belle read my mind and gave me one of her sunburst grins. Its one of the many reasons I love you.
Sleeping Beauty, who is 6 1, asked Belle if she could borrow me for an event she had to attend next week so she could wear heels. She actually wanted to wear those instruments of torture.
Thank God that something in my genetics has value. On the other hand I had been reduced to an accessory again. One that might be lent out.
I still had no idea what was in store for tonight. I was surprised when Belle guided me to the monorail and rode over to the Grand Floridian. We presented ourselves to Victoria and Albert and were seated at the Chefs table. This is an impressive little adventure. Menus are created especially for you by the Chef right down to having your name printed on them. When Belle made the reservations they had asked her what we liked and Belle knows my eating preferences.
She gets plenty of opportunities to observe.
Anyway we had seven courses and they pair wines for each course. They started me off with caviar which I can take or leave but the wine was good. Guess I will never get over being a mill town kid that made good. They quickly followed the fish eggs with duck sausage, then salmon, pheasant, lamb, Stilton cheese, and some pear-chocolate desert. Then port. That with all the wine during the meal and the beers before dinner made me punchy.
I think that was the best meal I ever had though.
While the port was on the table we received what I thought was the check. It was in fact the receipt. Belle, that darling, had prepaid the whole shebang. Imagine the most beautiful woman in the world taking you out to the best meal of your life then paying.
Love that girl.
I thought we were finished for the evening and was ready to roll back to our room at the Contemporary for a few thousand winks but Belle was just getting started. We went downstairs where she had a limo waiting. Of course in the back of the limo were Belles favorite wine and more Molson for me.
We ended up at Church Street Station. It was obvious that Belle wanted to party and to her that meant dancing. We worked our way through Cheyenne Saloon and Opera House, Phineas Phoggs Balloon Works, and finally to the Dixieland Jazz Revue in Rosie OGradys Good Time Emporium. Belle had a Flaming Hurricane the house drink. It was served in a huge goblet on fire and hit with the punch of a mule kick. Shortly the Can-Can girls came out to dance on the bar and sure enough within minutes Belle was up there with them. In those 4 inch heels too.
I have pictures. Heh-heh-heh. Thats good for one get out of jail free sometime in the future.
Eventually we emerged onto the street and into the night air. Belle sobered up almost right away. She wanted to try some of the places on Orange Street, in particular the Tabu Nightclub she had heard about from a friend. The limo was off waiting on our call but its a short walk to Orange Street and it was a nice night so we started off to hoof our way over there.
Now there were people everywhere that night and Im hardly the type that you would pick as a likely victim but I guess that big globby gold necklace of Belles was just too tempting for an aspiring free lance socialist. I saw two guys walk towards us neither one I would have picked as an obvious degenerate. They were both eyeing Belle (but then want red blooded male wouldnt) but the one nearest was looking at her neck. They exchanged a comment or two and the nearer guy reached for her neck.
Fortunately I had stopped drinking when we got in the limo as a matter of policy (the someone has to have a clear head in a strange town rule). And I have pretty good reflexes, something that always surprises people given my size and age.
I caught said degenerates hand an inch or so from my wifes neck and lifted it in a painful thumb hold that does hurt a mite. His buddy moved the wrong way and caught my flatten hand to his collarbone that knocked him down.
Then I stood there stupidly wondering what to do next.
Let them go, Belle ordered.
Yes Dear, I said.
I let the Jesse James wannbes hand go. His pal picked himself up and they disappeared up the street.
Thats another reason I love you, observed Belle as we resumed our stroll to the nightclub.
So lets see a tall woman can wear heels with me and I can thump punks. Now theres some interesting criteria to build a relationship on. But hey its Belle we're talking about here and now that you've seen her its gotta be easier to understand my point of view.
Anyway we eventually closed down the nightlife and got started back to WDW.
We found Sleeping Beauty and the Princess both asleep (they had every right of course it was 3:30 in the morning) on one of the beds with the TV still on the Disney Channel.
I was bushed no exhausted actually. Id been going for 22 ½ hours straight, marched all over Disney World today, eaten the best meal of my life, danced like John Travolta for five or six hours, gotten to play like John Wayne in front of my wife, and had just had very special attention by my lovely Belle.
I passed out in bed 47 seconds after the door was closed.
Normally Im a light sleeper but that night I was completely out of it. When I woke out of habit at 6am I found I couldnt move. I was in the middle of our bed. Belle was laying half across me on the right side, Sleeping Beauty was laying half across me on the left, and the Princess was sleeping on my chest and stomach. My face was buried in red and blond hair and I couldnt see a thing.
I could only move my head without disturbing at least some of the females piled on top of me. By careful and diligent puffs of breath I managed to blow their hair out of my face. The other bed was empty and there was a huge spot in the middle of it.
Stinky had leaked. No, more accurately she had created a new inland sea in Central Florida. Call it the Stinky Sea. Oh well not a problem to deal with on 2 hours sleep.
I did what any other man in my position would do. I went back to sleep.
Next: More Crying Women and Crushing Crush
Mine explodes about 1:15...
