The DECISION! :( page 2-VENTING!! DD's soccer tryouts...

[debster812]

I certainly do not agree with the MO, but it seems to me (an outsider who has no experience with this coach, these girls, or soccer tryouts in general) that maybe the coach is seeing how the girls handle 'pressure situations'? To my mind, goalie is the pressure cooker postition in soccer?

I can only speak to my competitve swimming experience, and the 'glamour' events were always the freestyle sprints. I once had a collegiate coach who thought the way to choose his swimmers for this event was to pit us against each other, practice, after practice, after practice. Seems very similar.

Your DD does seem to really have a great head on her shoulders, and handling this really well. Great job to her (and you too!)

 

[NHAnn]

I guess I'm beating a dead horse here, but STILL no goalkeeper decision today after a 2 hour varsity practice with the two girls staying for another 1/2 hour themselves. She told them one of them was only slightly stronger than the other, but both very hard workers, she wishes she could have them both but the JV team needs a goalie. She wants them both back next year. She asked for their thoughts about both practicing with Varsity but one of them playing the JV games. DD said she would prefer to practice regularly with the team she would be playing with, becasue the keeper is such an important voice on the field as far as communication; and that at this point she just wants a "home" on one team or the other. Coach said she needed to talk to the JV coach by phone tonite and think over the weekend. They are both to practice with varsity again Monday and then there is another scrimmage Tuesday...she promised they will know by Monday night. They both got Varsity uniforms today. She'd keep them both but for the fact that the JV team does not have a keeper, and apparently the freshman team only has one......why don't they move the freshman one up to JV and develop someone else on the freshman team? This is REALLY strange.

 

[nativetxn]

I know you must be so frustrated! I hope your dd gets assigned to a team of her own soon. She soundslike a great kid

 

[Sharon A.]

I agree Ann. The coach obviously WANTS to take them both. It makes no sense not to move the Freshman keeper up to JV and develop a new keeper for the Freshman team.

Your poor daughter. Sounds like she has a great attitude.

 

[Mickeyfaniam]

Oh the agony of not knowing....still wishing her lots of good luck Ann!!

These things are so stressful...my son Mike came home tonight and his varsity team was named. Mike is on again this year but his friend Billy.....you know Ann...the one we brought to your house and he asked if you wanted to save the dirty paper plate
Well he is a junior and he was told he'll play back and forth as needed and there were a couple freshman picked as regulars. Billy is crushed and all confidence gone We're hoping he won't give up...even the varsity captain didn't understand and told Billy to keep his head up. Mike will tell him to hang in there and wait for the call to play varsity and when he gets put in there...play with all his heart...and show the coach his mistake....I hope he does.

 

[minniecarousel]

ugh! HS sports! Sometimes I think there is nothing more unfair! I can never understand why, when one player is a Jr & one a Soph, don't they just keep the Jr on Varsity & the Soph on JV? If they're so "equal" - isn't that logical? Also, a new coach REALLY needs to look at the previous years' roster. They need to look at possible "returning" players, to see if they are still excelling in their sport (they should still have to compete for their spot, but they should be given some consideration for having been on Varsity before.)
arrgghh! can you tell I've been through this with one of mine?

 

[disfanatiks]

Sorry DD is going through such a frustrating time....Here is lots and lots of good wishes for a great outcome....

 

[NHAnn]

Well, the phone rang while DH and I were watching the LL (DD is at her boyfriend's house). I made DH answer and it was the Varsity coach, who left a phone # for DD to please call her. I called her at the BF's to relay the message and she called me back in tears a few minutes later. Coach asked her if she "minded" being on the JV team, because while she was quicker on her feet and a better on the high balls, she thought the sophomore girl was "more aggressive". She wanted to keep them both but can't. If she was trying to provoke DD's aggression it didn't work (she saves that for her mom ) becasue DD just said "fine" then cried when she hung up. She knows she will have fun on the JV team, but she is hurt and of course somewhat embarassed among someof her peers at this outcome. I'm just plain upset, not just that she was hurt, not only at the decision itself, but the way it dragged out. If it was that close and that hard to make, it should've been the older girl put on Varsity. (Coming from the mom of the older girl of course )
I called the JV coach just now to get their practice schedule...she did not even know what the decision was until I told her. She didn't come right out and say she disagreed, but she did say she told the V coach that DD was much more aggressive in the net, in the heat of the game, than she seems to be in tryouts or practice. And that she totally understood DD being upset.
DD is saying she will definitely not try out next year, I say "never say never" . DH actually agrees with DD on this...told her next fall she can a) work and save $$ for college hehehe and b) coach a little kid's rec team, they are ALWAYS desperate for coaches and that will look good on her college apps too.
So DH and I are sitting here (while DD i s being consoled by her BF ) and preparing to put up the "all things happen for a reason" front while all the while thinking that this new coach's decisions are going to be problematic, both long and short-term.
One of life's heartbreak's for DD....but as DH says, it's NOT big in the grand scheme of things, and she'll be a bigger person for getting through it.
AND...she's going to sign up for a driver's ed course that starts October 30th...she would've had to wait for a December class if she'd made Varsity, becasue you have to be present at teh first class (it can't be one of your 2 allowed skips) . If the Varisty team makes the playoffs, the prelims are that day. But JV season ends the 24th and they don't have playoffs, just a weekend champoinship tournament. So Varsity coach better hope her goalie stays healthy, because my DD will be in Driver's Ed on the first day of playoffs! (so there )

thansk everyone, for listening to me, it really has helped me as a mom keep my perspective !

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh, NHAnn, I'm sorry to hear this! These coaches really don't take a lot into consideration, do they? I hope your DD holds her head up high and is the best GK they've ever had at that school. As for keeping all this in perspective, you're right - it's not the end of the world, and believe me, it eventually will probably turn out to be a great character-builder for her.
Tell her to hang in there!

 

[disfanatiks]

Ann -

I am so sorry for M..... This has to be so hard for you all.

I know if it were my DD, I would be boo-hooing right along with her...It is so hard to see our children disappointed...

However, maybe she will be better off not having to spend a season with a Coach that causes so much controversary....Maybe in the long run...she will have a much better year....

John's words were so wise....

Lots of PD and good thoughts to you all.

Love,

Teri

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person. I agree that this was handled poorly.... drawn out way too long.

As for leaving them both on varsity, I think that would have been a big mistake. Splitting time is not fun. At least this way your daughter has HER position, she is the leader.

As a HS coach, I would usually give the nod to the younger person, all things equal, but it totally depends on the situation. My philosophy is that an additional year of varsity experience for the soph will only make things stronger in the future. I have had a lot of success with this attitude, but it does backfire from time to time.

As I always told kids in this situation..... "this is my decision, but I challenge you to prove me wrong." Who knows, this other girl may not be able to cut it. Maybe she will get a big head. Maybe the girls won't respond to her leadership. You never know your daughter might end up on varsity before the year is over.

Anything can happen, and I hope your daughter has a great year... moreover I hope she tries out again next year. Anything can happen if you give it your all.

 

[NHAnn]

hhmmm...thanks for your perspective CJMM. I'm just looking at my DD's perspective and hurt feelings at this point. She will give it her all on JV this year, that's how she is, but if she doesn't go out next year at all becasue of how this all played out, that's not good for the program. It will be her decision... We shall see!

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry.
It sounds like it was a mess all around. I hope the coach uses this year of an example of what not to do next time.

{{{hugs}}} to your daughter.

 

[LvsTnk]

I had been following this as DD plays soccer as well. I have to tell you I wish I knew what the coaches are thinking sometimes. Your DD handled all the pressure very well, and you should be proud of her!!

 

[Mickeyfaniam]

oh how sad for both your DD and you. I'm sorry
I hope she plays her heart out on the JV team and makes V coach regret his choice {{{HUGS}}} to both of you

So Varsity coach better hope her goalie stays healthy, because my DD will be in Driver's Ed on the first day of playoffs! (so there )

 

[glo]

Lots of hugs to your DD Ann. Tell her to be strong, sometimes things like this happen for a reason. Hugs