The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 2

[tink2020]

Something I think some of you might find amusing....

Flash-back to last week. I was sick as a dog with a sinus infection, asking for advice from my DDA friends and complaining about my DH, whose only flaw in my mind is that he has absolutely no sympathy or tolerance for all my sinus/allergy problems.

He started to get sick this week, so I asked him if he wanted me to pick up anything over the counter, could help etc. Last night, I asked again if I could help, and the subject came up that he never offers me help or support in that issue. I broke down and told him that I'd even posted about it, hoping to get some advice and maybe hear opinions from other perspectives. He asked me what my friends had to say. I told him the truth -- most were sympathetic, some had felt the same way about their spouses and their illnesses, and hadn't really thought of how their reactions had hurt others, and that I had received good advice on things to try to feel better. I stressed that it wasn't an I'm right, he's wrong kind of post, and that no one said unkind things about him.

Flash-forward to today:

This huge floral arrrangement just arrived at my work. The card says:

To my DW-
Love you!
From your DH...

He used the DIS abbreviations! I thought that was too cute, and wanted to tell you again how much I appreciate this forum and being able to express happy as well as sad or frustrating things to my friends.

What a nice story! Sometimes, they really just don't GET that they could be doing more, do they?! I'm glad it came up (even under the circumstances.... btw, is he feeling better?) and may be better in the future!

 

[lmartin2711]

Oh Kate....

Here's a thread for you:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1013228

Amy

Amy.....your feeding her addiction!!!!

 

[marcij]

Wow - what a great thing to happen - A) he heard you when you didn't confront him with something, that you both talked about it calmly B) He sent flowers!! How nice!! It was really nice of you to tell us the good too - sometimes when I'm in a terrible mood, I really forget all the nice things that DH does. I'm glad to see there are other good ones out there.

Well said, Marti. I guess I could say that the DDA played the role of therapist in this scenario.....

 

[tink2020]

The "Getcha head in the game" video was just on The Disney Channel. I haven't seen the musical, but I thought that was pretty funny timing considering the talk around here lately

 

[Eeyorecln]

Hello everyone. I could use some kind thoughts. I have a meeting with my DD's principal today.

Here's the story:

Tuesday night I had meetings from 5-8pm for work. My mother was babysitting and supervised my DD's (10) homework.

We took the kids home and DD left her backpack in the car because she didn't need it til the following morning. Well, when my husband was unstrapping our DS's from their car seats, her backpack got knocked over and her math book fell out. My DD and I were already in the house and she had gone straight to bed before he even got in with our DS's. He told me that he thought some of her books had fallen out of her backpack and asked me to remind her to put them back in.

Skip to Wednesday morning. I forgot to tell her that some of her things had fallen out of the backpack. I took her to school and we had a good morning.

She had a subsitute teacher that day. Apparently, she got in trouble for not having her math book (my fault, and I wrote a note to the teacher explaining such) for which she had to "pull a strip" for discipline. But then they got to the language homework to check it. A little boy in the class was "classroom helper". He does not like my DD. He told the substitute that my DD did not have her language homework, yet she DID have it.

The substitute tells my DD to pull another strip for this homework she supposedly did not have (and for which my mother remembers doing with her and my DD says she absolutely does have). Well, my DD will not comply with the substitute. She tells the sub that she did have her homework so she won't pull a strip and that the classroom helper was lying. The sub says she's going to tell my DD's teacher about her behavior.

Skip to Thursday. DD has PE in the morning first thing, and right after that she was sent to the office by her regular teacher for "disrespecting a teacher". Down at the office she is confronted by the Principal who tells her to confess to lying about having her homework. (Remember, my mother had checked her homework and knows that she had it. This wasn't one of the books that fell out.) The Principal gets no where with this because DD will not admit to not having her homework and insists that she did.

So he tells her to bend over and put her nose to the doorknob until she is "ready to tell the truth". She is left in this position for over an hour. Eventually lunch comes around and she is able to eat, however she has to eat in the office. After lunch, the Principal threatens to call her parents if she doesn't comply. Again she denies not having her homework and says the classroom helper lied about it.

He puts her back to the doorknob for another 1/2 an hour or so. Finally, her teacher sends down work for her to do via another child and DD is let out of this humiliating and painful position.

An hour before school gets out she is finally allowed back into the classroom. She brings home a note from her Principal stating we need to meet this morning at 8:30 am regarding her "disrespect of a teacher".

So, today we get to go see him. Yay.

My husband is livid. Even if she was guilty of the homework thing, he thinks (and this raised a red flag for me too) that a male in position of power over a young girl has no business having her bend over with her nose to a doorknob for hours on end. We can certainly see having her sit quietly or even stand facing a wall as punishment. We do not at all agree with the bending over, "sweating it out of her" method. This is regardless of guilt or innocence.

Let me just say that DD is certainly no angel. I can say without bragging that she's the smartest kid in her class. However, she does have social issues. She's not popular. She IS outgoing, but she has impulse issues and can be annoying, to be honest, with the other kids. She also has a problem with lying. But in this instance, I believe her. All the evidence that I've witnessed points in her favor. I don't believe it's fair to assume she is always lying just because she has lied a few times.

At any rate, this is my saga. I just hope things go well and that DD hasn't left out any really important details that will embarass us. OTOH, I hope that my husband can control his temper regarding the punishment. He was on the verge of tears over this and he almost never cries. Our plan is to hear out the Principal before we jump to any more conclusions and blow our stacks.

I won't be able to read any replies til I get back. I just needed to vent. Thanks for your time and good wishes.

I am so sorry for your daughter. That is just unacceptable no matter what a child did. Expecting a little girl to bend over in front of a grown man. I would be contacting his higher ups as this just is inappropriate discipline.
Your daughter may need to talk about this and let her feelings out so she can feel better. I had been depantsed in school in front of the class and the teacher didn't consider it a big deal. Took me a long time to give a report in front of the class again. Had someone talked to me about it I might have gotten over it sooner. As far as the disrespect I guess I don't see it as long as she politely refused to pull the strip and explained why. I like my kids to stand up for themseleves and their ideals as long as it's in a respectful manner. I hope things work out. Extra for DH.

 

[bethbuchall]

See - everyone loves it!!

and Beth knew exactly when it is on!!!!

I must admit - I almor accidentally deleted it today and I about freaked out -Julia would have been so mad at me

I figured that I'd take a little ribbing if I posted that there. I haven't actually watched it yet, but we did tape it the other night. I'm going to have to make time to sit down and watch it next time dd puts it on.

Beth

 

[lmartin2711]

I figured that I'd take a little ribbing if I posted that there. I haven't actually watched it yet, but we did tape it the other night. I'm going to have to make time to sit down and watch it next time dd puts it on.

Beth

I haven't watched it either but I have to admit that I noted on my calendar 2/2 "Musical on TV" so I can remember to watch it. After reading all of Kate's post about the show I am anxious to actually watch it. I did see about 10 minutes of the end the other night and it reminded me of Grease.

Lynn

 

[bethbuchall]

Ok, I'm in the middle of downloading my free trial of PhotoImpact. I'm excited! Yep, I'm a dork...though I doubt that was a secret anyway!

 

[dumby]

Does anyone else here go to a tanning bed? My dear friend got me 800 minutes for Christmas and before this I had never used one. I AM ADDICTED. I love it. I normally do not tan and I am actual getting darker. Just wanted to share this info. I think this was my best X'mas present this year. She uses the tanning bed all year and I mentioned that I would like to have some color before my trip to disney and so that is what she got me for X'mas.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

OMG - look at my signature!!!!


No more back up!!!!

Yesterday and today I did 62 shirt requests!!!!!!!!

I think I have used all my creative juices for the day though!!!!!!!

 

[lmartin2711]

Does anyone else here go to a tanning bed? My dear friend got me 800 minutes for Christmas and before this I had never used one. I AM ADDICTED. I love it. I normally do not tan and I am actual getting darker. Just wanted to share this info. I think this was my best X'mas present this year. She uses the tanning bed all year and I mentioned that I would like to have some color before my trip to disney and so that is what she got me for X'mas.

BE CAREFUL!!! I have a friend of mine who worked at a tanning bed so she went all the time......everyday for about 6 years. Now she is in her early 40's and her face looks like leather. She complains about it all the time but now has to live with it. As long as you do it in moderation. I go sometimes for a base tan if I am going to the beach or to the lake so I am less likely to burn. Be sure to put moisturizer on afterwards.

Sorry to lecture.....I hope I didn't step on any toes.

Lynn

 

[Eeyorecln]

Austin
Marci Congrats on the DH sending flowers and for DH to feel better
Kristine Prayers and for your family.
Midnite to your DD
Kate I love the sun design may have to take off the words and make myself a shirt to wear until we get some real sun.
Everyone, thanks for your kind words and encouragement. DS didn't get to sleep until 1:30 this time hopefully tonight he gives up quicker. Feeling better today regardless, I think I just needed to let it out. DH doesn't want to face anything being wrong with our children so haven't been able to talk to him about the testing and how to handle the results. Thanks again for brightening my outlook.

 

[dumby]

BE CAREFUL!!! I have a friend of mine who worked at a tanning bed so she went all the time......everyday for about 6 years. Now she is in her early 40's and her face looks like leather. She complains about it all the time but now has to live with it. As long as you do it in moderation. I go sometimes for a base tan if I am going to the beach or to the lake so I am less likely to burn. Be sure to put moisturizer on afterwards.

Sorry to lecture.....I hope I didn't step on any toes.

Lynn

Thanks for the warning. I will be very careful and I do use lotion after every visit because my skin is dry anyways. My DF is a little over cooked because she goes so much. I will probably just use it for a base tan every now and then like you said.

 

[bethbuchall]

OMG - look at my signature!!!!


No more back up!!!!

Yesterday and today I did 62 shirt requests!!!!!!!!

I think I have used all my creative juices for the day though!!!!!!!

WOW, Queen Kate, I am impressed!!!!

Ok...I downloaded my free trial. Now I'm trying the SmartDownload and I get a message saying "cannot get URL from push file." What does this mean?

Beth

 

[KristineN]

I finally got my virtual tour up and running. If anyone is bored and wants to check out my listing...here's the link. http://tours2.vht.com/vt/BWI/corpor...&Op=6&Scene=93&bhcp=1&VirtualSceneSelector=93 Cross your fingers that it will sell soon!!
Kristine

 

[rosiejo]

Congratulations Dawn - I can't offer any advice but I can send you

 

[KMH1]

the little girl who is clare on days is a cutie -

BUT


she sure looks awfully darn good for a baby who just had a liver transplant and came off life support

I am going to puke watching Marlena and Alex!!!

Now, I know you post on the Days thread. Why are you posting this here?



Amy

 

[lmartin2711]

I finally got my virtual tour up and running. If anyone is bored and wants to check out my listing...here's the link. http://tours2.vht.com/vt/BWI/corpor...&Op=6&Scene=93&bhcp=1&VirtualSceneSelector=93 Cross your fingers that it will sell soon!!
Kristine

Nice House.....I like the downstairs den. Where did you say it was and how much?? I know it isn't in my area but it seems like you were selling it for alot of money.

Lynn

 

[rosiejo]

All I hear is Blah, Blah, Blah... anyone else hear anything??????

 

[rosiejo]

Just watching idol... what's with the chick in the pink cowboy hat singing on helium??