The Dance Mom Thread

[Diamondintheruff]

As a parent to coordinate my three kids activites, work and still have some sort of life I have become an A type planner. I have noticed that many dance directors/studio owners since they are usually dancers themselves tend to be less progressive with overall planning than us parents. Is it because they are more creative than practical or is it because the people running the dance competitions really can't get their acts together? I don't know. I just know that you will continue to run into this mix-message last minute change of plans thing many times over your daughters dance career.

We are with a studio that has a non-dance oriented office manager. It is sooo much better. But the same sort of thing happened to me this year. They posted their competitions times and I booked my disney vacation around our time off. Then they changed one of their competitions dates. I complained (as did many parents) and now that new competition time is optional. We are opting out of it.

I'm sorry the timing around this is crappy for your daughter. I hope she can focus on what needs to be done today and put this at the back of her mind. I also hope that you told her coach how much his "new information" has hurt you and your family emotionally and possibly financially. Hopefully the coach will realize that he is dealing with people with families and be more proactive with his "new information" next time.

 

[Sleepy]

. I try to focus on the tutu and ignore the spandex tights that I knew DS would have to wear. Speaking of which we got him his first Ballet Belt-it's a thong. The poor boy is so uncomfortable in it. It's so funny to watch him as he is normally very graceful until he goes to re-adjust it. Course he would faint of embarassement if he knew I told anyone about it so shhh.

Ballet belts is a huge deal for boys. Had you considered a full bottom belt to start with or did the school say he had to have a thong? My son wore the full bottom for a few years before the transition. Now he is used to it. Not all are made the same, so you might want to shop around and try different ones. Some of the thongs have less material, which can aide in the "re-adjust" department. Some thongs have stiffer material and can cause irritation. As you probably know the waist part is different on each one as well. The elastic ones can be uncomfortable.

Try to focus on the good things about boys in ballet. Sure, there are no tutus, but we also don't have to focus on those $80 pairs of pointe shoes every 2 weeks . I'll let the parents of girls focus on that! Before long, you son will be so used to wearing tights that they will be like putting on a pair of socks and you won't think twice about it.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

I'll let the parents of girls focus on that! Before long, you son will be so used to wearing tights that they will be like putting on a pair of socks and you won't think twice about it.

His instructor saw his discomfort and has let him go back to "tighty whities". We found some comfortable yet form fitting Pirates of the Caribean of all things underwear at H & M that are doing the trick now. The instructor believes they'll be okay for his exams too.

But he knows the belts are looming in his future.

 

[missypie]

As hard as it is, you need to do what you had planned to do. She has a lot more years to compete with the dance team.

 

[MELSMICE]

HI Everyone,
I have never posted on this thread. I found it the other day. Now I have a mini crisses and I thought you might be able to help.

My DD joined/made her school Dance Team this fall. She is the only 7th grader on the team. The rest are 8th-12th graders. Her school goes from 6 -12 grade. When she made the team she was told she could not compete in a dance competition on December 13 due to her being in 7th grade. They call it "State" so I guess it is a state school competition. She was fine with that. I double checked since we had plans to be out of town then anyway.
Our winter break starts on Dec. 12. We have a cruise booked for Dec. 14 out of Port Canaveral. We are leaving Dec 11 so that we can have some time at DW before we leave on the cruise. We are traveling with another family and dd is bringing a friend from yet another family with us. We could have cancelled everything with no financial penalty up to the begining of October.
Last night DD came home and said that her coach (also the middle school drama/dance teacher) said she could compete. I could have killed him. She is so upset. And so am I. They practice 13-17 hours a week. He should have had this figured out before. Now we can not cancel our trip without losing thousands of dollars. Even if we give up going to DW, we live too far away to fly in the day of the cruise. So no matter what, we have to fly on Dec 13. I am so mad and frustrated. DD is heart broken. She has 3 perfomances today of the middle school musical which she is also in. That will at least distract her while I think about this. Grrr

Any advice, comments.
Thanks for the help. Jean

I think that you should go on your trip & not worry too much about it. Considering she is the only 7th grader that made the team, I'm assuming she is very good. She has 5 more years to compete on this team.

You have spent a lot of money on a trip & are scheduled to go with another family. Sometimes there are conflicts with things that can't be avoided - this looks it is one of them. She was told she couldn't compete - it is not your fault that it changed.

Go on your trip & have a great time.

 

[JeannieNM]

Daimondintheruff, Missipie,Milisypie-
Thanks for the input. This makes me crazy. DD is in the chorus, takes voice lessons, and does all the middle school plays and some of the high school plays, now the dance team and she figure skates. Not to mention school. LOL I try hard to keep her schedule straight including orthodontist, etc. Luckily I am retired and stay at home. DH works from home so he also helps. It makes me crazy that her coach did this to her and to us. It was so unnecessary. He tends to be over extended which is part of it. I am a lighting designer and worked in the professional dance, theatre and opera world out east for a very long time. You can not survive in that world without being super organized and on schedule. Otherwise you are in union overtime which no one can afford. I think in the educational dance, theater, etc people wear too many hats and it makes their brains rattle.

I looked into flying out on Dec 13. We would give up DW. I can give our friends who are coming with us the MVMCP tickets and the other tickets I can just save. We would two choices: be on the plane by 4 pm on Dec 13 to fly all the way to MCO or we could fly to DAL at 7 pm on Dec 13, take a car service to DFW hotel and then fly out of DFW to MCO first thing in the am Dec, 14 This seems insane to me. (We are older parents and while this affords us the opportunity to travel a lot. I do not have a lot of energy for mad dashes across the country. LOL)

I honestly do not think DD wants to miss the trip. Had we known in a timely manner we could have scheduled this so we could do both. We could have waited until spring break or gone over New Years. OH well best laid plans of Mice and Men.

Thanks for the support and letting me vent. I am sure we are just going to stick to our plans.

 

[Dancers Dream]

I am new to this tread and this site for Dance Mom's. I have a DD who was on school dance team and studio, school work and of course religion. It is alot. Balance is hard. Just my opinion. Go on vacation. Sometimes family and freinds keep up grounded.

 

[mbw12]

Hey Dance Moms....what is everyone getting there dancers for Christmas?? (related to dance....not everything else....LOL!!!!) My tween is getting a big Vera Bradley bag to use for her dance bag. But not sure of what else to get her pertaining to dance. I have already spent a fortune on the typical tween stuff....but always like to get her a little something pertaining to dance!!!!

 

[missypie]

Hey Dance Moms....what is everyone getting there dancers for Christmas?? (related to dance....not everything else....LOL!!!!) My tween is getting a big Vera Bradley bag to use for her dance bag. But not sure of what else to get her pertaining to dance. I have already spent a fortune on the typical tween stuff....but always like to get her a little something pertaining to dance!!!!

Tell me if this is a trend in your town: They wear Ugg boots with their dance attire to dance class. The first time I saw one of them in booty shorts and Ugg boots I laughed, but now so many of them do it that I think it's cute.

I know that all the magazines said that Ugg boots were "out" 5 or 6 years ago, but they are extremely popular with the HS girls around here.

 

[luvflorida]

Thanks for the support and letting me vent. I am sure we are just going to stick to our plans.

I also think you should stick to your original plans. Go and have a good time!

I have some exciting news to report concerning my daughter! Many of you know that she started dancing at the age of 13 and took classes and competed through high school. She also apprenticed with a modern dance company this past year. She has been told many, many times by numerous dance instructors, directors, judges, choreographers, and others, that she has a raw talent for dance. She definitely has something that they all seem to see in her.

She is now a freshman at the University of Arizona. She auditioned for the dance program at U of A, but completely blew the audition due to nerves and anxiety. Her confidence in her abilities doesn't always match the confidence that others have in her abilities. She then decided she wanted to major in music, so she entered U of A as a music theory, history, and criticism major.

She has now decided that she wants to reaudition for the dance program, and will do so next month. Our fingers are crossed for her!

Anyway, the exciting news is that she has reconnected with a choreographer out of LA. My daughter took some master classes from this choreographer last year. A few weeks ago, the choreographer held auditions for the LA Choreographer's Carnival Ball, and my daughter was chosen to participate!

She is SO excited! I don't know a lot about Carnival, but I understand that it's a pretty big deal. Evidently, choreographer's are chosen to showcase their work at a venue in LA in front of an audience of well known people in the dance industry.

Not only did she get chosen to perform at Carnival, but at this one audition, my daughter had a director from another studio approach her about teaching a class at her studio, and ANOTHER dancer (who is also the director of a modern dance company) asked my daughter if she'd be interested in joining her modern dance company. So, from attending this one audition, my daughter had three people interested in her!

I don't want to sound like I'm boasting or bragging in any way (I HATE that!), but I'm just so thrilled for my daughter. She has always had issues with her confidence in dancing, and I know it has held her back at times. After the U of A audition, she never wanted to audition for anything ever again. I'm so glad that she seems to be getting past that anxiety. This past audition HAD to have been a big confidence booster for her.

She's always said that when she's old enough, she's going to audition for So You Think You Can Dance. She turned 18 in August, so this is the first year she's eligible, and she is determined to audition. I hope she does! She's already built up a fan base among her friends at U of A!

Thanks for listening! I never seem to be able to post a short post!

 

[JeannieNM]

Missypie- Uggs are big again. I stuck my head in at my DD's rehearsal for Suessical and I can not tell you have many interesting outfits I saw with Uggs. DD got a new pair for her birthday 10 days ago.

luvflorida-thanks. CONGRATULATIONS!!! your daughter sounds like she is on her way to gettnig her confidence as well as soon wonderful opportunities.

Can we just leave on vacation tomorrow?

 

[missypie]

Luvflorida, I so admire the girls for putting themselves through all of the auditions they do! I'd hate to be judged like that. You could be the best dancer in the world, but not the body type they're looking for. You could have the best technique, but they are looking for high leapers this time around. You're a classic beauty and they're looking for quirky. Not to mention having to audition with a cold, allergies, etc. It's so hard to not take the rejections personally!

 

[luvflorida]

Luvflorida, I so admire the girls for putting themselves through all of the auditions they do! I'd hate to be judged like that. You could be the best dancer in the world, but not the body type they're looking for. You could have the best technique, but they are looking for high leapers this time around. You're a classic beauty and they're looking for quirky. Not to mention having to audition with a cold, allergies, etc. It's so hard to not take the rejections personally!

Exactly, and it's especially hard if your confidence doesn't match your ability. I think I'm more thrilled that my daughter attended the audition than the fact that she was chosen as one of the dancers!

If she ever does decide not to pursue dance, I hope it's because it isn't in her heart anymore, and not because she's fearful or anxious about auditions, or because of confidence issues.

 

[mbw12]

Tell me if this is a trend in your town: They wear Ugg boots with their dance attire to dance class. The first time I saw one of them in booty shorts and Ugg boots I laughed, but now so many of them do it that I think it's cute.

I know that all the magazines said that Ugg boots were "out" 5 or 6 years ago, but they are extremely popular with the HS girls around here.

Oh, definitely! My daughter had to have Ugg boots last year for this specific reason.....and I bought them a size bigger so that they would fit this year also!!!

The Vera Bradley bag is the big trend this year at her dance school...and I am having it embroidered with her name. (personally, I think they are ugly....but oh well.....its for her, not me!)

 

[mbw12]

I don't want to sound like I'm boasting or bragging in any way (I HATE that!), but I'm just so thrilled for my daughter.

There is a very fine line between being thrilled for your daughter and bragging....so I get what you are saying...... But woman, you DESERVE to brag about that talented girl to all of us!!!!! That is AWESOME!!!!!!! Please keep giving us details. I admit that I lurk on here and post every now and again.....because I just have always felt out of the loop with the whole "dance mom" thing...more of a sports mom...but my dancer/singer DD9 has other ideas....LOL!!!! But I always follow your posts about your daughter...I remember when you went to a convention in NJ, from maine, right? Before moving I think.

 

[MELSMICE]

JeannieNM - definitely stick to your original plans. If you cut it too close & something happens with your flight(s), you run the risk of not getting to port on time & missing your cruise.

 

[luvflorida]

There is a very fine line between being thrilled for your daughter and bragging....so I get what you are saying...... But woman, you DESERVE to brag about that talented girl to all of us!!!!! That is AWESOME!!!!!!! Please keep giving us details. I admit that I lurk on here and post every now and again.....because I just have always felt out of the loop with the whole "dance mom" thing...more of a sports mom...but my dancer/singer DD9 has other ideas....LOL!!!! But I always follow your posts about your daughter...I remember when you went to a convention in NJ, from maine, right? Before moving I think.

Aww...thank you so much! It's nice to know someone understands!

Yes, my daughter attended several PULSE dance intensives, one in NJ and one in NYC. I believe there is at least one other poster on here that also has a daughter that attended the PULSE.

She took classes from Mia Michaels, Shane Sparks, Wade Robson, and many other notable choreographers. And, you know what the best part of the experience was? The fact that these amazingly talented and successful choreographers were all so down-to-earth and friendly and so approachable to these young dancers. None of them (well, with the exception of Brian Friedman ) seemed to have huge egos. The ease with which they related to the students left a lasting impression on my daughter.

 

[jen0610]

Hey Dance Moms....what is everyone getting there dancers for Christmas?? (related to dance....not everything else....LOL!!!!) My tween is getting a big Vera Bradley bag to use for her dance bag. But not sure of what else to get her pertaining to dance. I have already spent a fortune on the typical tween stuff....but always like to get her a little something pertaining to dance!!!!

Seeing as I live in the land of Vera, DD is getting a bunch of this for Christmas this year. She's getting - Large duffle, the garment bag, large make-up bag, Bowler bag, coin purse, and curling iron cover. All in Capri Melon, which is retired, but they had a butt load of items in this color at their fall sale. Dh was amazed at what all I got, for far less than the normal cost of the garmet bag. (as a side note, DH said he has never seen so many crazy women in one place as the VB sale. Even though he was full warning before going with me.)

On the 13th, she and I are going to the Mac counter and pick out new makeup for her. This will be one of her gifts. I don't like the base color I got her the last time, so I figured this would be a fun Daughter/Mom thing to do and it takes one thing off my list to get.

 

[Sleepy]

His instructor saw his discomfort and has let him go back to "tighty whities". We found some comfortable yet form fitting Pirates of the Caribean of all things underwear at H & M that are doing the trick now. The instructor believes they'll be okay for his exams too.

But he knows the belts are looming in his future.

Try these places for a full dance belt.
http://www.dancedistributors.com/s.nl/it.A/id.13587/.f?sc=22&category=30070
http://www.nydancewear.com/index.cfm?&nstartcatid=93&npageid=14
http://www.allaboutdance.com/s.nl/it.A/id.13587/.f?sc=2&category=34

Riversedge dancewear is where I used to buy my son's full bottom Bal Tog dance belts, but I see they now make them as they are ordered so it could take about 7 weeks to deliver according to the website. Good luck finding what works best. The dance belt will be more comfortable than ordinary underwear because it will hold everything snug to the body .

 

[coinkc]

I know it's not the same kind of dance that most of your kids do, but it does also take a huge amount of time, money, work, etc....

My daughter has just recently moved into the preliminary championship level of competition and in her first feis (competition) at the higher level she WON!!!!!

I am SO incredibly proud of her and all her hard work! Her next big challenge is the regionals called the Oireachtas which is held over Thanksgiving weekend in Columbus, Ohio. Here's hoping all her dreams come true!