Ouch! Nobody should have that much pain on the opposite sides of their body.
I just got home from a grand adventure. My dogs escaped from the yard last night. I usually let them inside in the morning, but didn't today because DH is ill. I didn't go check on them until after lunch. They weren't in the yard, on the porch, under the porch or anywhere in sight. I thought I was going to loose my mind. My babies are gone.
I circle the outside of the fence looking for clues. Not seeing that the back gate is unlatched. They just walked right out. Last night. I heard them barking at something, but I never worry about it because they can't reach the deer or raccoons or squirrels. Or in this case - skunk.
I call the Dog Warden to see what I need to do. Need to go to the shelter, look at the strays and then fill out a form.
I quick make up 4 flyers with their photo and information and head to the post office and two local quick mart type stores. Those are the only things of commerce around here. I stop at one of the neighbors who has dogs that roam. My dogs go nuts when they see them. I thought they had hopped the railing on the porch to go after them. Not seeing the gate earlier. Neighbor says "Were they your dogs? Yup, I sawed them. Bout 2 this morning. Thought they were the biggest wolves I'd ever seen. Almost shot them"

Goodness sakes alive! Shoot my dogs?
Girl down the street says oh I saw them this morning down around the bend - that's a mile away in case you all want to know - they were running pretty hard.
I print out 30 more flyers and head to the shelter. Stopping at a few places on the way and taping the flyers to doors. Get to the shelter - it's about 4 o clock now. We have lots of long driveways here and it takes more time than I thought to stop at them all. And the shelter is 25 minutes away, if you don't do the speed limit.

Look at all the poor dogs who have no home. That hurt. They aren't there. Fill out the form and the lady says that most folks will NOT bring dogs to the shelter. Stop at all the local vets. People will take them there first. Stop at the only vet in a 20 mile radius of the house. Girl there says, oh, purebreds. You may not get those back. You need to call all the shelters that border here and check craigslist to see if they are for sale.
Head back home and start at the first home on our side of the river. Pass out three flyers and see a man taking down his garbage. Give him our flyer. He says I've see those dogs. Do they smell like skunk. Me-probably by now. Him-they have been here all afternoon, ain't got no collars on, nobody to call, haven't seen them for an hour but you might want to head back there and hollar for them. This guy has a long driveway. No kidding it was at least 1 mile maybe 2 to his house. Me - screaming dog names the whole way back. My Eldest "dang mom, you got a loud voice". Did I mention I brought him with me? He was the only reason I wasn't bawling the whole time.
Get to the guy's house. Scream about 5-7 times and there they are. Running towards me. Now I start bawling. And holy toledo batman, they STINK. And have beat up noses. And covered in burs and briarers and tired.
Got them home about 5:15 and they are sound asleep. Outside. Did I mention they stink? Bad. My minivan is pretty darn smelly too right now.
Anyway, that's my afternoon from h e double hockey stick.
I need a shower.