Dax
Emma and Christopher's Mommy - Best job ever
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2000
- Messages
- 4,171
Curtain rods:
She spent the first day packing her belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and
collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time
at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,
and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and
every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp
shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new
girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then
slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything;
cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,
during which they had to move out for a few days, and
in the end they even paid to replace the expensive
wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to
visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid
quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer
and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their
price in half, they could not find a buyer for their
stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man,
and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting
house. She listened politely, and said that she missed
her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth...But only if she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and
within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood
smirking as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
She spent the first day packing her belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and
collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time
at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,
and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and
every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp
shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new
girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then
slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything;
cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,
during which they had to move out for a few days, and
in the end they even paid to replace the expensive
wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to
visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid
quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer
and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their
price in half, they could not find a buyer for their
stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man,
and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting
house. She listened politely, and said that she missed
her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth...But only if she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and
within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood
smirking as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
