The challenge of trying to surprise your spouse

[soccerdad72]

Specifically, when you have joint bank accounts and credit cards.

So I was trying to get a surprise gift for my wife for Christmas - a gold necklace and diamond pendant. Something she's been talking about wanting to look for a while now.

Problem is, with all the technology available these days, I had to make a point to ask her not to check the credit card app until at least the day after Christmas. And intercepted the UPS guy a couple hours ago - fortunately, I was working at home today.

If I tried to accumulate cash for this, she'd probably think I was embezzling from the family.

Hopefully she likes it:

 

[sam_gordon]

Specifically, when you have joint bank accounts and credit cards.

So I was trying to get a surprise gift for my wife for Christmas - a gold necklace and diamond pendant. Something she's been talking about wanting to look for a while now.

Problem is, with all the technology available these days, I had to make a point to ask her not to check the credit card app until at least the day after Christmas. And intercepted the UPS guy a couple hours ago - fortunately, I was working at home today.

If I tried to accumulate cash for this, she'd probably think I was embezzling from the family.

Hopefully she likes it:

View attachment 1033033

Use your credit card to purchase a Visa (or Mastercard) GC at the local grocery.

Use the GC to purchase the gift.

Worst case, she knows how much you spent. Or, tell you bought beer. Or getting a GC for a coworker.

 

[soccerdad72]

Worst case, she knows how much you spent. Or, tell you bought beer. Or getting a GC for a coworker.

Eventually, she'll know how much. I was at least hoping to have that conversation after she opened the gift. Fortunately, there is free returns if she decides it's too much (or doesn't like it).

 

[slo]

Specifically, when you have joint bank accounts and credit cards.

So I was trying to get a surprise gift for my wife for Christmas - a gold necklace and diamond pendant. Something she's been talking about wanting to look for a while now.

Problem is, with all the technology available these days, I had to make a point to ask her not to check the credit card app until at least the day after Christmas. And intercepted the UPS guy a couple hours ago - fortunately, I was working at home today.

If I tried to accumulate cash for this, she'd probably think I was embezzling from the family.

Hopefully she likes it:

View attachment 1033033

It's beautiful - she'll love it!!!

I hear ya in regards to having a hard time keeping a surprise. I do all the banking, so me keeping a surprise from my DH is pretty easy. Any deliveries go to my mom's house that is 3 miles away. His gifts to me are much different, because I get a text and email every time a purchase is made on the credit card, so nothing gets past me. We don't give each other Christmas gifts any more, so no worries about it this time of year, but we do still exchange birthday gifts, so I always know when he went shopping for me, but I still enjoy of the surprise of not knowing what he bought.

 

[slo]

Use your credit card to purchase a Visa (or Mastercard) GC at the local grocery.

Use the GC to purchase the gift.

Worst case, she knows how much you spent. Or, tell you bought beer. Or getting a GC for a coworker.

THIS is a great idea!!!!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My husband and I have separate accounts and then a joint checking and joint money market account but years ago we had the whole "don't look at the Amazon e-mail" before Amazon had the option to add someone to your household and extend them your Prime benefits but them have their own account..that was a great thing we did and it's been amazing ever since we've had that.

This is probably a case for either paying for something in cash or having something separate (should it be too pricey for cash such that this was for the OP) if you have a significant other who looks through paperwork (in this case an e-mail, app, cc statement, receipt, etc). As far as where it can be delivered if the person has a high chance to get the package and it's done at least enough times---P.O. Box might be in order (although some places won't deliver to a P.O. Box).

I have to be careful about costs as in knowing the costs, I fret too much about stuff like that but I also don't want my husband spending too much money on things like that (for a while he would buy me jewelry when we first started dating and I nicely asked him to maybe stop) as I value experiences more. But also my husband's taste in jewelry isn't the same as mine, we both like nothing too too flashy but his is a bit more simplistic and I go for more unique. One of my favorite ones was a wedding gift he got me (I was there when he bought it) was a sapphire stone and sterling silver necklace in the shape of a key (that was back when we were spending a decent amount of time at Jared's).

 

[AnnaS]

Do you have an adult son/daughter, parents or in-law where they can make the purchase for you? Also having a gift/surprise delivered to their home. Just a thought.

My son usually has my daughter-in-laws birthday and Christmas gift sent to my home. He still has his original credit card before they married so she does not see that charge.

 

[soccerdad72]

Do you have an adult son/daughter, parents or in-law where they can make the purchase for you? Also having a gift/surprise delivered to their home. Just a thought.

Both my boys still live at home right now, but definitely a good idea that I’ll try to remember in the future

 

[leebee]

We use different credit cards. I don't have any purchase alerts set, so I don't know when a purchase is made,, much less where, what, or how much. I won't have to set up the next round of credit card payments until early January, at which point we'll already know what our presents were. Right now, I'm shopping wiht the Southwest card and he's using the Disney VISA. We each have our own Amazon accounts so I don't open packages addressed to him, and he doesn't open packages addressed to me. In the long run, it will all be repaid from the same checking account, because that's how we roll.

 

[georgina]

I don't usually buy anything for DH, but I found something I thought he would like. I told him not to check the Amazon order list. If he does, that's on him to have ruined the surprise.

 

[Psymonds]

Specifically, when you have joint bank accounts and credit cards.

So I was trying to get a surprise gift for my wife for Christmas - a gold necklace and diamond pendant. Something she's been talking about wanting to look for a while now.

Problem is, with all the technology available these days, I had to make a point to ask her not to check the credit card app until at least the day after Christmas. And intercepted the UPS guy a couple hours ago - fortunately, I was working at home today.

If I tried to accumulate cash for this, she'd probably think I was embezzling from the family.

Hopefully she likes it:

View attachment 1033033

wife handed me the box of a present that I bought for her ... opened and said "I'll pretend to be surprised" your choice looks great!

 

[Genie+]

Use your credit card to purchase a Visa (or Mastercard) GC at the local grocery.

Use the GC to purchase the gift.

Worst case, she knows how much you spent. Or, tell you bought beer. Or getting a GC for a coworker.

Years ago I wanted to buy a gift for DH without him noticing so it could be a surprise. I syphoned off bits of cash back during grocery shopping It took a while in amounts that weren’t too noticeable. Today you can do up to $200 without a fee on debit card. I’m not sure what the max was back then but I remember doing $60 here and there. Would take me a long time to get him a diamond necklace!

 

[Psymonds]

I've only ever successfully surprised her with in person purchases late (after the monthly statement on the credit card) because she doesn't get the purchase alerts on her phone.

 

[bluezy]

I don't usually buy anything for DH, but I found something I thought he would like. I told him not to check the Amazon order list. If he does, that's on him to have ruined the surprise.

I had to make my husband create his own profile on our Amazon account because I would always see everything he bought me. If I didn't see the email confirmation, I'd see all the "since you bought X, we thought you might like Y" suggestions as soon as I signed into Amazon. Now we each have our own profile and we don't have our surprises ruined. I still need to convince him to ship the gifts to our son's house (a mile away) since some things ship in original packaging. When that happens, I just tell our daughter to get the box off of the front porch and hide it in her room so he doesn't know I saw the box.

 

[barkley]

Use your credit card to purchase a Visa (or Mastercard) GC at the local grocery.

Use the GC to purchase the gift.

Worst case, she knows how much you spent. Or, tell you bought beer. Or getting a GC for a coworker.

check with local stores first-many have a daily cap on how much you can buy giftcard wise using a credit card (esp. the visa/MasterCards). another issue to consider is purchase protection-i know that I get allot better customer service with an issue if I purchase it with a credit card that I have an account with an existing financial relationship whereas I continualy read of people having issues with giftcards and the nightmare it is to deal with customer service (if you can even get through to them).

We use different credit cards

same here-i use one, dh uses the other.

 

[easyas123]

Yeah this is a issue we sometimes have, I don't have alerts that come up every time we use a cc, but do have them if fraud is suspected. But if I go on any of the cc accounts to make a payment and my husband has used it I'll see where & what so I try not to this time of year It's easier for me, I manage all the bills & bank accounts. We don't keep separate bank accounts, although we do have different cc accounts - they still get paid off out of the same bank account so it all shakes out the same. Works for us.

 

[georgina]

I had to make my husband create his own profile on our Amazon account because I would always see everything he bought me. If I didn't see the email confirmation, I'd see all the "since you bought X, we thought you might like Y" suggestions as soon as I signed into Amazon. Now we each have our own profile and we don't have our surprises ruined. I still need to convince him to ship the gifts to our son's house (a mile away) since some things ship in original packaging. When that happens, I just tell our daughter to get the box off of the front porch and hide it in her room so he doesn't know I saw the box.

Mine would never dare surprise me because he knows I want to choose my own things.

We just returned from a holiday visit to WV, and my brother-in-law had several ama-zon gifts shipped to our house to bring along, not for secrecy, but because I will get delivery in 2 days and it would take 8 days to their home.

 

[tvguy]

We go all our spousal Christmas shopping with cash. We decide how much we are allowing ourselves to spend, then there is no tracking. But we tend to shop local, not online. And when you have been married 43 years, Christmas gifts tend to be practical things like ink cartridges for the printer. calendars, new frying pans.

 

[Simba's Mom]

wife handed me the box of a present that I bought for her ... opened and said "I'll pretend to be surprised" your choice looks great!

Glad DH and I aren't the only ones. For Christmas, he bought me two jigsaw puzzles that I pointed out to him. And after Christmas he'll buy himself something and say "Boy, thanks for what you bought me!" After 43 years, works for us!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Looks beautiful, dad. She will love it.