The bus...

[KellyNY]

It's funny how perception changes how you interpret things. I believe that most people who say that it's not your fault to "breed" and in particular, to choose to "have kids so close together" will interpret that as an insult. I read the rest of her post (AustinTink) and it was just as harsh and judgmental as the first part IMO. She felt her conscience and morals were attacked and she attacked back. Two wrongs don't make a right.

In her OP, Small Town Girl also said she was very APPRECIATIVE of everyone on the bus and was NEVER EXPECTING a seat. That seemed to be forgotten by those who wanted to make a point that you should NEVER enter a bus unless it's completely empty when you have small kids. Yet, she somehow was in the wrong in this situation for getting on the bus in the first place. I think there is some very harsh judgment on BOTH SIDES of this. If you want to take a hard-line stance, then so be it but understand by drawing a line in the sand that you are judging others. In my opinion, if you enter a bus with an open mind and don't judge some for sitting and other for getting on a crowded bus, then the bus rides are much better for everyone. Most of the time everyone is accomodated and happy. It's when judging occurs on either side that the bus ride (AND THREADS LIKE THIS) get so ugly IMO.



Yes, smalltowngirl was insulted when the poster said she shouldn't of bred and had kids together so close and expected a seat. She was upset that someone would comment about having kids together so close when she had a husband who may or may not survive cancer.

These types of threads scream over and over again - don't judge others based on site! Both sides want to take the morale high ground, but neither side owns it in this debate. The uncalled for sarcasm doesn't help win any friends on either side of the debate either. Should someone give the stinky eye if you remain sitted - NEVER! Should someone give the stinky eye if you enter a bus with two small kids and a stroller - NO! Can we compromise and show some common courtesy?

I don't expect a bus nirvana as it will never happen. I just wish there was more compromise rather than having so many take such extreme positions on one side of this debate or the other.

I wonder what exactly did you find rude about the rest of AustinTink post. She spoke of personal responsibility for your kids and not judging those who remain seated and when someone claims that those who gave them a seat have moral standarts of what is right, it does throw a stone and judgement, something many of us including you are against. Moreover getting on a full bus with so much to carry that you have no means of holding yourself and your kids was exactly what many reffered to, not sure if those posts were also deleted, I never checked.
As you can see in this thread, there is a lot of judging going on and honestly I do not think common ground can be reached and why. I personally believe that every situation is different and it is not jugement but assesment, you see what is going on and you act accordingly to what you think is right at that moment, nothing else. There are extreme cases of starring, guilting, commenting and playing every dirty trick to get a seat and there are extreme cases of I do not care if your year old baby is about to fly out of the window or I will give my seat no matter what, but those are rare. Most people will help if they see someone is about to fall but they will not get up unconditionally just because parent is holding a baby or woman standing or whatever it is. Judgement is no good but assessment is what needs to be done in every case.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think a lot of folks here on the DIS just really think there are too many small children at Disney. The stroller debates seem to get just as heated. There seems to be so much vitriole toward people who come to Disney with more than one child. I guess they just bottle up the sidewalks and buses so much.

Mabye Disney should go child free so everyone on the DIS can have their happy place to themselves.

Lighten up folks. Here's a secret. If you give your seat up to someone who really needs it........ it makes YOU feel good too. But don't tell anyone. This thread might die on the vine.

 

[deegack]

If she could handle it she wouldn't accept the seat, no? I have one kid. When i take public transportation I expect to stand if someone offers a seat I decline. If i'm tired or she is cranky we get a taxi.

No one is evil just an idea of responsibility and knowing what you can and can't handle.

I didn't realize accepting a seat meant you could handle your child. Last time we were at Disney I often had people offer me a seat, not because I gave them a stare but because they were nice people. I I was tired or carrying dd I accepted if not I declined. It had nothing to do with being able to handle my child but people were just nice. I also often give up my seat if it appears someone needs it more than I do. It common courtesy and if there were a little more of it this thread would not exist

 

[Pirate Jeff]

I didn't realize accepting a seat meant you could handle your child. Last time we were at Disney I often had people offer me a seat, not because I gave them a stare but because they were nice people. I I was tired or carrying dd I accepted if not I declined. It had nothing to do with being able to handle my child but people were just nice. I also often give up my seat if it appears someone needs it more than I do. It common courtesy and if there were a little more of it this thread would not exist

Bingo!!!

 

[Hannathy]

So everyone should live exactly by your rules and logic? I love diversity and would never want to force my own beliefs on others. I have no qualms sharing with others or being kind to others by offerring them a seat whether I think they need it or not.

Animal Kindgom vs Human Behavior.....

ughhhh you did the same thing in your long post. You said you need to inform people why they should stand for women your words:
"that some folks need to become informed. I will attempt to do so post haste."

Oh and I am a woman and I have been on this earth probably roughly as long as you have and I find it insulting when a man offers to stand for me solely because I am a woman. Equal means equal.

 

[TinkerBelle920]

I cannot imagine going to Disney pregnant. But if I chose to do so, I would not expect special treatment. I was pretty healthy and did a lot of walking. Pregnancy is not an illness.

I suggest the people with babies who can't juggle the baby and the handrail wait for the next bus. That is what I would do if having a seat was important to me.

Yeah this is pretty rough trying to decide if you are white trash or just plain evil!

 

[going/again]

One ECV tie-down takes over 3 seats and standing room for many more, plus that person will take a seat, . /QUOTE]

This does not make sense, if the Ecv was not there, 3 people would be, where does the standing room for many more come from.

 

[crashbb]

Bottom line, if you're a woman on the bus, I will offer you my seat. Don't be offended by it. It is just my way of living up to the standards I believe were put before me my entire life. The same standards I passed along to my children who also do the same. If that makes me somehow a bad person, I can live with it.....


Aaargh!!

Deal

But ONLY if you'll accept my, polite stated, decline of your offer. Don't be offended by it. It is just my way of living up the standards that I believe were put before me my entire life (that I am capable of fending for myself and do not need a seat on the bus just because I am female). The same standards I passed along to my children who also do the same. If that makes me somehow a bad person, I can live with it.....

There was at least one poster on this thread who stated that they would attempt to guilt the woman into taking the seat - not sure that I see the chivalry in that, to be honest.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Deal

But ONLY if you'll accept my, polite stated, decline of your offer. Don't be offended by it. It is just my way of living up the standards that I believe were put before me my entire life (that I am capable of fending for myself and do not need a seat on the bus just because I am female). The same standards I passed along to my children who also do the same. If that makes me somehow a bad person, I can live with it.....

There was at least one poster on this thread who stated that they would attempt to guilt the woman into taking the seat - not sure that I see the chivalry in that, to be honest.

nail on head!

 

[mom2rtk]

ughhhh you did the same thing in your long post. You said you need to inform people why they should stand for women your words:
"that some folks need to become informed. I will attempt to do so post haste."

Oh and I am a woman and I have been on this earth probably roughly as long as you have and I find it insulting when a man offers to stand for me solely because I am a woman. Equal means equal.

So do you think a man thinks he's better than you if he offers you a seat?

I'm an able bodied adult woman so don't need to have a seat offered for me. However, if someone did, I wouldn't think they considered me unequal, but instead I'd think their mother raised them right because they were courteous and kind.

 

[brunette8706]

Cancer or not it's still her choice. Not picking on the poster but she could have waited and use other methods. She choose to have close in age children which is a lot of work and if you can't handle it you shouldn't do it.

*
WOW! I'm at a loss for words!

 

[TinkerBelle920]

If I can give up my seat, I sure will. My toddlers and I will stand if it helps someone else who clearly needs a seat. HOWEVER - If I am struggling with my two toddlers and I need them to sit, I WILL stare you down. It's totally ridiculous to sit in a seat while someone else struggles.

I think everyone should be teaching their kids to be kind to those in need and should practise it themselves. This is basic courtesy and respect that is sadly lacking today in everyone's mad rush to get ahead and nurture the 'me me me' mentality. It's apauling what animals we are all turning into. Just my $0.02

This exactly honestly taking your kids to Disney these days typically teaches them the kind of person not to be when they grow up. I love the numerous examples I can point out to my kids such as people unwilling to give up bus seats because they are tired, and say don't do that when you grow up. It's downright sad that there is no such thing as common courtesy anymore. I hope everyone who needs a bus seat due to having children, being pregnant, elderly, handicapped, ect. get the seat they deserve. To all of those who aren't willing to give up their seats I hope you feel ashamed for the people you have become.

 

[mom2rtk]

*
WOW! I'm at a loss for words!

Me too. I didn't reply to that one initially because honestly I had no words for it. That someone feels that way is one thing. But to feel ok putting that in writing is even worse.

I frequently feel that the world is headed in the wrong direction and I wonder how it got that way. Then I sit down and read one of these threads and it becomes quite clear.

 

[brunette8706]

Me too. I didn't reply to that one initially because honestly I had no words for it. That someone feels that way is one thing. But to feel ok putting that in writing is even worse.

I frequently feel that the world is headed in the wrong direction and I wonder how it got that way. Then I sit down and read one of these threads and it becomes quite clear.

*
It just amazes me. I guess by her same logic, if she saw a woman/man/child on the bus with crutches struggling, or a 80 year old SHE WOULD NOT GIVE UP HER SEAT! According to her logic THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT BUS! It's her SEAT and no-one is getting it! Nice. Thank the Lord there are more compassionate people in the real world, if more people were like her the world would not be a very nice place. Unbelieveable!

 

[Wadecool]

Deal

But ONLY if you'll accept my, polite stated, decline of your offer. Don't be offended by it. It is just my way of living up the standards that I believe were put before me my entire life (that I am capable of fending for myself and do not need a seat on the bus just because I am female). The same standards I passed along to my children who also do the same. If that makes me somehow a bad person, I can live with it.....

There was at least one poster on this thread who stated that they would attempt to guilt the woman into taking the seat - not sure that I see the chivalry in that, to be honest.

Well put!

 

[crashbb]

Well put!

And, just to be clear, I am not, AT ALL, offended if you offer me your seat. I would sincerely thank you (and mean it). I would just expect that your respect my choice to remain standing.

*YOU = general you.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

*
It just amazes me. I guess by her same logic, if she saw a woman/man/child on the bus with crutches struggling, or a 80 year old SHE WOULD NOT GIVE UP HER SEAT! According to her logic THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT BUS! It's her SEAT and no-one is getting it! Nice. Thank the Lord there are more compassionate people in the real world, if more people were like her the world would not be a very nice place. Unbelieveable!

nope i wouldn't because i more than likely waited fir a bus in order to seat with my child. Otherwise i would be standing. So i should make my life more complicated to ease someone else?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I see no one is being very sheepish about their feelings.

In fact, there seems to be that people are ramming their heads at each other.

Maybe ewe all are just kidding around, but it doesn't seem that way to me.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

*
WOW! I'm at a loss for words!

I'm not being mean i'm being logical.

If it were me and Dh had cancer i would more than likely take the route of having his swim buddies extracted and frozen. That way I'm not throwing another kid into an already complicated and tough situation. That's me though. I would want to give Dh all my attention and being pregnant would be more of a stress to me. That's what I mean by choice.

 

[livndisney]

I see no one is being very sheepish about their feelings.

In fact, there seems to be that people are ramming their heads at each other.

Maybe ewe all are just kidding around, but it doesn't seem that way to me.

I am starting to think I would rather ride the bus with the goat.

I may even be safer riding the goat.