The bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral....my mother in law!!!

[DVCLiz]

Oh, I feel for you. I actually think that my MIL is the daughter of Satan so I would never subject myself to a trip to Disney with her - even if it was free, we stayed at the Poly concie for a month, and swam with the dolphins.

What I love so much about this post was that you felt we wouldn't understand the depths of your hatred if we knew you were JUST giving up a free month at the Poly concierge, so you had to throw in "swim with the dolphins" to make sure we understood that even something as special as that wouldn't entice you - I just roared with laughter when I read this!!!!

And the best part is, it's so true! I wouldn't have subjected myself to that torture either - even if we'd had Walt's apartment in the Castle!!

 

[tnkbl]

You're brave and crazy, I would not have gone! I know my MIL too well. Now that I think about it, she would not ahve taken DH and my family, just the other two siblings and theri kids!

 

[trennr]

We did a trip in early June on my Dad and Mom's tab.

There was Me, DW, DS(11), DS(6), Mom(69), Dad(70), Brother, B-Wife, B-DS(8), B-DD (4).

We actually got along pretty well.

We made sure our Kids volunteered to Ride with either Mamaw or Papaw at every ride we were together. (1) we had been there before. (2) My Brothers Family had not. (3) I felt my dad was doing this to make memories with his Grandchildren.

We did break up several time however...we had the Grandparents for about 2-3 hours with our family in the MK, while my Brother finished the day with them about 2-3 hours they watched 9pm Parade and left after the Fireworks.

While my family did Tomorrowland (yes we did everything) from about 8:30pm thru the 9pm Parade.

Mamaw and Papaw Got to ride everything on their list with at least one grand kid.

We also did Seaworld (we stayed togeher all day there) and Animal Kingdom.

At Animal Kingdom we stayed together for the most part and only split up near the end of the day...brothers kids were getting cranky and my folks were tired so they went home around 6pm...me and my family finished up Asia and made it back to Africa to catch one of the last Saffari Rides.

Sounds like your "Treater" was self centered and made the trip about her and what she was doing for everyone else...rather than about showing the family a good time.

 

[luvdiz2]

I called it selling my soul to the devil No matter what anyone else wanted to do, "I paid for it, we'll do ____". I never let her pay for a trip again.

 

[kimbac3]

My in-laws planned a family trip AFTER we had ours planned for..get this.. 2 weeks before our planned trip. Now we had been planning for a year and had deposits paid and tickets bought. She expected us to change our dates or maybe she knew we wouldn't...hmmm. There was no way our first family trip would be with them!! There were 13 of them without us! We'd be 18 with us!! They did EVERYTHING together - ate together had rooms right next to each other .. My idea of toture!! She never offered to pay for us although I know she paid for at least a portion of the others!
She keeps saying someday I'll get to go to Disney with my grandkids (we have the only ones as yet), and I'm thinking..Yeah right
Kimba

 

[sameyeyam]

The only silver lining to this trip is that even though it wasn't the perfect trip, the grandchildren will have wonderful memories spent with grandma. She is in her 70's and will probably not be around that much longer. So it is nice that time could be spent together.

Who knows, as time gets further on, all of the adults that went might even get a chuckle out of it and be able to laugh at all of the crazy things that she made you do.

 

[spiceycat]

you sure you didn't have my mother....

oh sorry your MIL actually paid for it.

My mother wants the same stuff but you are surpose to pay for it....

you learn to laugh and just go on....

 

[Lizzy2]

Let me just say this-The best thing one can learn is that the world does not revolve around you and your kids all the time- How many people get a free trip to Disney? Did you ever think of the joy that 70 yr. old Gram was experiencing being with her family? What you percieved as her being bossy and forcing togetherness might have just been her expressing her desire to be with you-think about it. She's 70 years old-How many more times will you all get to take a trip together much less such a nice one?
I lost my dad 8 years ago and my Gram just 2ms. ago and the thought of forced togetherness with them at WDW sounds like a gift from the Lord.
Its a shame you couldn't be more grateful and teach your little ones the same. Grandparents don't live forever.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Let me just say this-The best thing one can learn is that the world does not revolve around you and your kids all the time- How many people get a free trip to Disney? Did you ever think of the joy that 70 yr. old Gram was experiencing being with her family? What you percieved as her being bossy and forcing togetherness might have just been her expressing her desire to be with you-think about it. She's 70 years old-How many more times will you all get to take a trip together much less such a nice one?
I lost my dad 8 years ago and my Gram just 2ms. ago and the thought of forced togetherness with them at WDW sounds like a gift from the Lord.
Its a shame you couldn't be more grateful and teach your little ones the same. Grandparents don't live forever.

Oh... he paid for the trip. And, if you re-read his post.. you'll see he does understand what's important.... he detailed it. Wanting a few moments alone with his immediate family during the course of an entire trip ISN'T thinking the world revolves around him.

But you're right... we don't know what's ahead... even children and siblings don't live forever.... but we can't live our lives holding others hostage because we might die at some point. Fact is we will... and the quality of the time we spend together is what will count.

 

[Lizzy2]

In the spirit of fairness, I did reread the post and it says that the trip was a gift from the Grandma and then mentions again that it was a free trip. He did not pay for it- Grandma did.
I still stand by my original position. There are times in this world where you don't get your way and you don't get to choose especially when someone gives you a gift. A different attitude would have made all the difference in this situation. Viewing it as precious time for a family would have made it more fun for everyone.
A "quality" life involves many things, but certainly one would be the kindness we show to others in less than ideal circumstances. This is a valuable lesson for children especially.
I would rather my daughter spend time doing something a little boring with her Gram.and know that she was making someone else happy than grow up thinking only about her own wants and desires. If the whole world only worried about there own "quality of life" there would be no Red Cross, no Habitat for Humanity, no Unicef, or anything that did good for others. The small lessons that we teach and examples that we show, like, for example respect for Grandma when she wishes to spend time with us on a lovely vacation that she has paid for, lead children to make bigger gestures when they are older like pitching in and working to make other peoples lives better.

 

[mousiemom]

Thanks for making me laugh before I get off work! This is my situation: My inlaws, (61) and (57) are truly wonderful people but the only problem is my dd is their only grandchild. So, they dote, dote, dote, over her. I'm very thankful for them because they kept her while she was a baby, never been in daycare. They want to teach and show her everything in this world. They have been on every WDW vacation with us cause they are a lot of fun. Their the ones in the front of RNR w/ their hand up, a lot of fun. When we 1st took dd to WDW when she was 2, they wanted to show her everything. I had to speak up and say,"Excuse me, but I would like to walk thru the front gates of MK with my one and only dd." Their really good people and I know they could be a whole lot worst but I wish they would have a little bit more respect for me. Of course, it doesn't bother my dh the least bit. Don't get me started on Aunt Pooh(my dd is her only neice). (the sister-in-law).
Better stop for now.
Have a magical day!

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

In the spirit of fairness, I did reread the post and it says that the trip was a gift from the Grandma and then mentions again that it was a free trip. He did not pay for it- Grandma did.

Perhaps you didn't see my wink at the end of my statement. He paid for it in the sense that he was not allowed a moment of free time. A gift is something that is given without strings attached. I don't doubt Grandma loves the family very much, but an hour here and there to one's self is NOT selfish.. nor is it the desire that defines a person who believes the world revolves around his or her self.

I still stand by my original position. There are times in this world where you don't get your way and you don't get to choose especially when someone gives you a gift. A different attitude would have made all the difference in this situation. Viewing it as precious time for a family would have made it more fun for everyone.

Of course no one gets their own way all the time. He wasn't asking for that. And again... a gift is a gift. If I give someone $100 as a gift, I don't think it's fair to tell them how it must be spent.

A "quality" life involves many things, but certainly one would be the kindness we show to others in less than ideal circumstances. This is a valuable lesson for children especially. I would rather my daughter spend time doing something a little boring with her Gram.and know that she was making someone else happy than grow up thinking only about her own wants and desires. If the whole world only worried about there own "quality of life" there would be no Red Cross, no Habitat for Humanity, no Unicef, or anything that did good for others. The small lessons that we teach and examples that we show, like, for example respect for Grandma when she wishes to spend time with us on a lovely vacation that she has paid for, lead children to make bigger gestures when they are older like pitching in and working to make other peoples lives better.

I think children can learn all those things regardless if they have grandparents or have grandparents that sponsor trips. I think the OP took a good lesson in how, by allowing moments of freedom within the confines of togetherness, everyone can enjoy themselves.

He was very appreciative of the fact grandma funded the trip. He wasn't thinking only of himself.... at least I didn't get that from his post. Ditching grandma entirely would be selfish. I just know that I pay for 100% of the travel in my family... and I love spending time with my kids... but I know my kids also enjoy spending time just the two of them. To insist they remain by my side for the duration of the trip would be selfish on my part. Family is family... but everyone needs a tiny bit of space now and then. Just my 2 cents... your mileage may vary.

 

[Lizzy2]

I guess we will have to agree to disagree a little
I just get fired up with these kinds of discussions about family, I guess.
I didn't just "lose" my dad-He commited suicide and ever since then the rest of the family is really tight because we know in a really tragic,scary way what it means to be without that person that we love.
I just wonder, was it really that big of a deal to go along with her? Also,
from the sound of it, he kinda knew she was like this before, so couldn't they just roll with it? What good does it do anyone to stew over something like this? Things could be way worse, trust me.
Anyway, thanks for the ear

 

[Ellester]

I guess we will have to agree to disagree a little
I just get fired up with these kinds of discussions about family, I guess.
I didn't just "lose" my dad-He commited suicide and ever since then the rest of the family is really tight because we know in a really tragic,scary way what it means to be without that person that we love.
I just wonder, was it really that big of a deal to go along with her? Also,
from the sound of it, he kinda knew she was like this before, so couldn't they just roll with it? What good does it do anyone to stew over something like this? Things could be way worse, trust me.
Anyway, thanks for the ear

So sorry about your dad! I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

It does sound to me like he did basically "go along" with it. I think it's probably alot better for the family that he vented here as opposed to blowing a gasket on his MIL. Anyway, just my $.02

 

[Cinderumbrella]

Uh-oh- I see my future....
We are going this Christmas with IL's and SIL and her family (8 of us total ages 2, 3, 27, 28, 32, 32, 58, 62). We are all paying our own way.

IL's wanted desperately to come with us last fall for DS (then 2.5) first trip. We declined saying as his parents, we wanted to take him there first.

I wanted to go back this year for Christmas and the only way DH consented was to invite his parents (SIGH!!). IL's then invited SIL and her family. First thing that happened was we had to change the date of our family vacation. Which we did, but the buck stopped there.

We picked our resort and all of our meals (including the date and time we wanted to eat there) and invited anyone who cared to join to chime in before I made the ADR's. Only 6 meals in 8 days are together. MIL had delusions of grandeur about spending every waking moment together. We also spoke out against that now, while we are home, so there are no hard feelings once we arrive.

Now, only time will tell what really happens...
Thanks for your story- I am glad I am not the only one!

 

[danalee]

its hard sometimes going with a group

Last year 10 of us went and everyone had a good time and yes for the most part we all stayed togther ....Except....my MIL

She was a pain in the behind, complained everyday about something and all day swore she would never.....ever come back!

jump to now, it was the best trip of her life (or so she tells people) and she IS going back with us in sept. why???? you ask, well to torture me I think , but whatever, its disney I will do my thing, and try with every ounce of goodness in me not to put her under any fast moving ride

 

[the Fidge]

ok thanks now I don't feel so badly that most of my family doesn't speak to each other let alone vaccation together thanks for the gratitude!

 

[measurecutcurse]

Wow, I'm sorry.

That sounds really brutal.

I guess I'm really lucky. While my parents have their moments, when we went with them to WDW a few years ago with our kids, they pretty much let the kids dictate what the activities were.

And, they let us go off on our own and watched the kids

 

[mjantz]

We've vacationed with my parents 3-4 times. Last one was a Disney Cruise. Connecting rooms & we did a lot together but I didn't feel hovered over or anything. We've both talked about a European vacation but maybe just meeting up for a few days as opposed to spending the entire time together. I like vacationing with them as they recognize that we don't want to spend every waking hour together.
OTOH, we've never vacationed with my in-laws. I've talked to DH about it a few times & the kids *really* want them to go on a Disney Cruise with us but we'll see. The problem is that their idea of a vacation is going to visit FILs brother in Indiana or go to a convention of a group they belong to. That is not our idea of a vacation so we're a little unsure as to how they'd react to going somewhere just because its there. We'd probably end up paying for it ourselves & FIL would complain the whole time about one thing or another so I don't know if its even worth it!

 

[TBGOES2DISNEY]

Hey, don't you guys know that gifts come with strings attached?
This kind of reminds me of that episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Marie paid for everybody to go to Italy. Hee hee... yeah, wouldn't you love to have Marie for your MIL?

That being said, my in-laws have hitched a ride on our vacation. Now, truthfully, I would have preferred to go just with dh and dds. This is the first time for all of us. In-laws have been before. But, I think either my dh wanted them to come or just didn't know how to say no. See, now, I actually love the in-laws 99% of the time, but I'm worried that my kids will want to walk around holding their hands and riding all the rides with them. Then I would be severely depressed and sad. I can't say this to dh though b/c those are fighting words.

Oh, well, trying to make the best of it. I think it will all be just fine, and it will be the best trip ever!