The bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral....my mother in law!!!

[ScottieDog]

Ok, this is me venting, and hoping that someone will join in. I'm told missery loves company.....true?

I just returned from a five day trip to Disney World with my spouse’s immediate family. The trip was a gift from her mother to all of us…her two sisters their husbands and five grandchildren. In total there were 13 of us.

Yep, 13!!!

Now, Disney during peak season is hard enough without adding 13 people to the mix. Add to that the fact that 3 are very young (under 6) and two are in their mid-70s….AND my Mother-in-law kept insisting that everyone should stay together because she’s afraid SHE will miss something.

But, now, here’s the rub…..remember I wrote that the trip was a gift from Grandma.

What could be more nice right?

What kind of ungrateful jerk would ever complain about a free trip to Disney???

Well that’s what we all kept asking ourselves, all the while feeling terrible about wanting a break away from Grandma and her new husband .

Mind you, both are wonderful people, though painfully annoying. For example, If my brother-in-law said to me, “can you get a picture of just Mary and I with the kids?” you’d inevitably hear Grandma shout, “oh wait, let me and (the new hubby) get into the picture too”.

It was infuriating!!!

I felt so badly for the parents of the smaller kids who had never been before….they couldn’t even enjoy the looks on their own children’s faces ‘cause Granny had to be right up front for every magical second!!!

Also, folks in their 70’s just aren’t that quick, and so, because we all had to stay together the children saw and experienced far less then they ought to have in the 5 full days we had.

Long story short I have promised myself the following-

Should it ever happen that I am someday fortunate enough to be able to treat my children and grandchildren to a trip to Disney I will...

Offer to take the kids to the bathroom.
Not expect to be waited on.
Insist that the younger generation have a few hours to themselves while I watch the little ones.
Be willing to let parents sit which their own children on rides so that THEY can expereience the magic for themselves.
Understand that most kids would rather go on Thunder Mt, that sit through the Hall of Presidents.....and then, for the love of God, stop mentioning it!!!!!

 

[graciespeaks]

I dont think someone could pay me to go on a trip with ALL of my family!! You have proved my point to my fellow family members!LOL

 

[minkydog]

I need to print this and pass it on to every member of my family. One of the "higher-ranking" cousins has decided to plan a family reunion at WDW for the last week of July . We're talking over 50 people, from newborns to 80's. I'm already envisioning the chaos that will ensue when you put that many people together for a hot, sweaty week at Disney World.

 

[pperfectmom]

I'm getting ready for a trip to the beach with my in-laws. There will be 17 of us in one house. Thanks for making me think about how miserable I'm going to be even before we get there.

 

[latexscooter]

Oh, I feel for you. I actually think that my MIL is the daughter of Satan so I would never subject myself to a trip to Disney with her - even if it was free, we stayed at the Poly concie for a month, and swam with the dolphins.

That said, it's hard enough for family members that get along famously to successfully tour the parks in large numbers. I went with my BIL, SIL, and their kids last year (they are our closest friends/family) and I swear I won't go shopping with them again let alone to a theme park.

Just count your blessings, know that you've been there and done that and start saving for your next trip - alone.

 

[ScottieDog]

I need to print this and pass it on to every member of my family. One of the "higher-ranking" cousins has decided to plan a family reunion at WDW for the last week of July . We're talking over 50 people, from newborns to 80's. I'm already envisioning the chaos that will ensue when you put that many people together for a hot, sweaty week at Disney World.

Oh dear God!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write up a trip report when you return.

Actually, scratch that....I just watch the evening news the last week in July, your trip is bound to make headlines.

Good Luck!

 

[crisi]

I feel for you. I have a grandmother like that. She's never been generous enough to pay for a trip though, so we've always been able to leave her behind....

I think people need to realize that when we take others (even our own teenagers) to Disney we are asking for at least one of two things - their money or their time. Its unreasonable to spend someone else's money for them (and I see so many posts here from people trying to talk their friend or relative into coming along - and paying their own way). You also need to be respectful when you spend someone elses time - even when you do pay for the whole trip. Paying for the trip does not entitle you to dictate how every moment is spent.

 

[welovedis]

While I'm sure it was tough to experience things the way she wanted to, at least you had the opportunity to go together as a family and enjoy (at least some) things together. Those are certainly memories you & your children won't forget.

My DS talks about my mom though we only went once with her to WDW and it was when he was 4. He really cherishes the time we spent there even though it was far from the most relaxing time for me & DH as she was not walking at that time. She had fun, and he remembers that, not us being disgruntled at her requests or rolling our eyes at another trip on the Mexico boat ride.

My DH's dad will not take a family trip to WDW, even if we paid for it so we won't ever have the opportunity to see it again with g-parents.

Not trying to knock you, just hoping you'll choose to look at it from a different perspective.

 

[LISAVWL]

I'm getting ready for a trip to the beach with my in-laws. There will be 17 of us in one house. Thanks for making me think about how miserable I'm going to be even before we get there.

LOL!
I'm in the same boat -- annual beach vacation with my in-laws coming up in 5 weeks, although there are only 12 of us in one very small house.

 

[jndmommy]

Back in '97, it was me, dh, my mother, 2 younger sisters, 2 grandmothers, aunt, uncle & cousin. That trip made the Griswolds trip to WallyWorld look like a dream vacation. My family is just way to opinionated to travel together. Not to mention, that having 2 grandmothers tagging along, both in wheelchairs was no picnic. When we got home we decided it will be a very long time, if ever, before we vacation with my family again. Too many bosses. On a lighter note, this is our second year going to Disney with my in-laws, and it is surpisingly refreshing compared to that week of torture. I feel for you all, been there done that.

 

[eryn the pooh]

Long story short I have promised myself the following-

Should it ever happen that I am someday fortunate enough to be able to treat my children and grandchildren to a trip to Disney I will...

I feel for you! This spot reminded me of something very similar I did when I was younger. At about 12 I started fighting with my mom so I decided to start a journal headed "memo to myself when i have a teenage daughter". And of course I wrote in it all the stuff my mom did that I SWORE i'd never do when I became a mom! Of course, its so funny to read it now! (And I keep it hidden from my soon to be pre-teen!) And of course, I've already done half the things in the book!

 

[babiesX2]

Also, folks in their 70’s just aren’t that quick, and so, because we all had to stay together the children saw and experienced far less then they ought to have in the 5 full days we had.

Granny and her new man need some motorized carts!

I said it yesterday, but I'll say it again today -- I'd rather pack my bags for a trip to H*E*double hockey sticks! (I got in trouble yesterday for saying a bad word.) I do not like vacationing with large crowds, especially if the large crowd includes any family and double especially if some of the family are elderly. But, I've been told before that I'm mean.

 

[lntsmom]

I'm going to make a confession. When we went to DLR last May, a boardie friend from another board wanted to meet up. We'd met once previously at a kiddie concert in the midwest.

We honestly had other plans...the beach...for the one day our schedules overlapped. But, had I been motivated, I could have juggled things. I wasn't motivated.

I know that is awful, but the honest truth is that despite being old and fat, I move at quite a clip, have a general itinerary that I want to follow, and would come home very disgruntled if I spent more than 10 minutes total shopping.

Not knowing her touring style, and knowing one person in her party had special needs, I decided to skip the chance to meet up.

I like your third suggestion best. As a matter of fact, I think after the first day I would have sat down with granny and told her I felt cheated...I wanted more 1:1 time with her, so I'd talked to the other adults and they agreed that we'd split shifts...each set of adults spending 4 hours or so with granny before meeting up and switching. That way we could all get the 1:1 time we SO craved. LOL! Can you go to hades for telling a lie that makes someone feel good????

Here's hoping your next Disney trip is granny-free!

 

[UtahMama]

HAHAHAHA...hahaha!! OMGosh you are SO funny! You can either PHOTOSHOP Grandma out of the pictures or you can look at it as a pre-view of what your family would like to see next time (sans Grandma and her hubby)!

Do you feel better?

 

[J&J]

We are grandparents and the first time we make a Disney trip with our family was nice. Everyone wanted to be toghter next trip we wanted sometime away to slow down and enjoy things. Kids are faster and want more action. They didin't want it so we had probelms trying to get away. We wanted one romatic dinner they wanted all group dinners. We don;'t want to be a kill joy but let them have their own time and us.
All I am trying to say is that sometimes it is the kids not the grandpartents. Now we have talk it out and we are alllowed to have some time alone and time with the family much better.
It sounds like that grandmother is always self center the trip didn't change her she is what she is. Everyone needs to make plans with their own families and then toghter time. Disney is to enjoyed that free trip was not worth it and would never do it again with her.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

And this is the exact reason we bought into DVC. I figure when I'm the granny I can give them the first trip to themselves and the next trip I'll invite them. I'll still seem like the generous grandma because they get the free lodging, etc. but I won't need to tag along.
We take my parents and they keep wanting us to go out so that they can have our DD to themselves. I think we'll take them up on it this time.
Good for you for being such a good sport and not raining on their parade.
But I do like that idea of photoshopping grandma out of the picture!!

 

[kbkids]

**********

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Ok, this is me venting, and hoping that someone will join in. I'm told missery loves company.....true?

on the name of your thread... and now you know WHY she paid for the vacation. Sometimes a gift isn't a gift!


BTW - love the user name! I have a scottie and a westie (see avatar!) When I take the pair of them out for a stroll my neighbor calls them the 'walking whiskey commercial'

 

[Mr._The_King]

I think we should all slap an old person in honor of this thread.

 

[eeyoregon]

You are a far better person than I am!!

I would have a.) accidently lost her in the crowd or b.) pretended to be really tired and head for the hotel and then once the old folks were asleep, would have snuck back out for the extra magic late hours

Your mother-in-law sounds a lot like my Mom which is precisely why I will NEVER go to WDW with her!

Bless your heart for not inflicting any bodily harm on her....you get extra points in your karma account!