The Battle For My Wallet VI: The Trip Report That Isn’t a Trip Report (P.24, 11/24)

[JulieEck]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MR. & MRS. ZZUB!!!!!

 

[Kimberly815]

Thanks for the pics ZZUB. I think I might like me some Contemporary.

 

[OhMari]

Oh, for heaven's sake. RELAX all you crazy Republicans. I was making a lil' joke. Thought that's what we did here.....

Oh, no, sorry Ms. Moderators. What we REALLY do here is talk about our trips to Disney World. Because, yes, this is the TRIP REPORT board. I'll lay off the other stuff if you will

Thanks Ash, I need all the hlep I can get.

 

[LaLa]

...but I was hanging out with Sneezie in the cake line at Wal Mart.

Okay so I wasn't. But now that I am here, let me first say that I loved the photo chapter, ZZUB. The MK view, again, looked incredible. I'm surprised you managed to take such clear pictures, considering that drinking problem of yours. You'd expect to see a bunch of weird shots with strange angles from someone who likes his Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm as much as you. Glad there were none of those anywhere.

And a gerund thrown in for good measure.

What? No love for the dangling particle? What's up with that? I didn't know you'd already made it to the Ignoring phase of the trip report. Did I not get the memo?

Gerund. It's the new dangling particle.

Keep bringing the "so called" funny, ZZUB. I'm enjoying it.

Or am I?

 

[MEK]

Chapter Four: Friday is the New Monday

Looking into our room from the hall. You'll notice ZZUBY's croc was cast aside like Barack Obama's pledge to cut taxes for 95% of Americans will be about 5 minutes after he takes office. (C.F. Clinton, Bill, circa 1993). Left alone, in the middle of the floor. Lonely like a cloud. Like Guy Ritchie now that Madonna is gone. Except ZZUBY's croc doesn't require the daily use of Valtrex.

___

Nice - even without seeing your pics (yeah - I'm at work and can't see any pics) - I Love your candor!

 

[TyRy]

Thanks for all the updates ZZUB...I'm with you on the hurricane watch...had the NOA site memorized and was on it every day checking to see what might be happening for our trip.

So glad the Contemporary worked for you guys...and I agree - someone was telling you something with the WL all sold out.

Ty

 

[Familycircus]

Patiently waiting for your next update.

 

[ZZUB]

Glad you enjoyed the Contemporary. As for me, it's not my cup of tea. I've stayed there twice, and while the location is great, I found staying in the atrium to be ridiculously loud, no matter which side or end we stayed.

I don't get that. You're not the only person to say that either. But we heard no atrium noise at all. With one exception and that was at night and they were raising up the scaffolding to paint. Other than that, we never heard a thing. Go figure.

...but I was hanging out with Sneezie in the cake line at Wal Mart.

Why would you be buying cake at Wal*Mart? That's as stupid as thinking Tennessee could beat Bama.

What? No love for the dangling particle?

I have no clue what a dangling particle is. Perhaps you mean dangling participle? Or were you absent the day they taught grammar in school?

Patiently waiting for your next update.

Monday, like Fat Phil's pink slip, is coming.


ROLL TIDE!

 

[jamal]

Last edited by ZZUB : Today at 01:25 AM. Reason: Oh rocky top, you'll never beat Alabama again. Poor old rocky top. It's sucks to be for Tennessee.

It WAS pretty pathetic, wasn't it?

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Five: What We Rode

We went to Disney World for 9 days. 7 of which we spent in the parks. We rode some rides.

Which in retrospect seems like an afterthought. At least for me. So much of my mental energy, maybe all of it, was focused on where we were staying. I don’t worry about the rides. Before we get there, we know which ones will be open. We know which ones will be closed. We know which rides we’ll get a Fastpass for. And which rides we’ll walk past like a plate of raw cauliflower and lima beans, sitting next to autographed copies of Earth in the Balance and Dreams of My Father.

One thing about going to Disney World every year: you get into a routine. Which is comfortable for me. I like knowing the plan; not having to think too much about it because I’ve already road-tested it a time or two. Or seven.

How long do you think they sat in that writer’s meeting coming up with the name "Seven Costanza?" What got kicked around first? What was funny, but not funny enough? I like to think about the road not taken.

Sometimes, we leave Disney World with regret. Anguish. We’ve missed something. We had a plan but the plan failed. Or we chose not to have a plan and that no-plan plan smacked us in the face like we just offered it a salad from McDonalds. You know the feeling; you realize too late that you can’t use your Fastpass for Space Mountain because you have an ADR at Whispering Canyon Café and you’re not planning to come back into the MK after dinner. Or you want to see Illuminations but you also have a raging poop cramp that makes you want to go all Bobby Knight on someone.

Disney World is about prioritizing.

Funny thing about our priorities. How they change. Before we had kids, when my wife and I would go to Disney World, we’d storm the E Tickets. Race from Space to Splash or Tower of Tower to Rock n'Rollercoaster. Now, once inside the gates, we head to whatever ride ZZUBY is wanting to hit. Small World. Peter Pan. Pooh. Mickey’s Philharmagic. It’s all about her. And her little sister.

7 park days were divided: 3 in the MK; 2 in EPCOT, 1 in Animal Kingdom and 1 in Disney’s Poorest Excuse for a Theme Park Name (The Studios for short).

Curious: we used to LOVE MGM when it was just me and the Mrs. Loved it. Like Dan Rather loves him some forged documents (dude, so living in 2004. For the obvious reasons). But times have changed. And 50’s Prime Time has gone into the crapper.

Both literally and figuratively.

I love saying “into the crapper.” Seriously, I now look for opportunities to work that into conversation. I like other crap derivatives: Crapola. Crapstorm. Crap hole. Crapateria. In Spanish: el crapo. And the French: le crap’e.

As you know, I’m not really writing a Trip Report. This isn’t a chronological summary of our trip. But rather a digest of our vacation. And this chapter is about what we rode.

Rides. We rode rides.

I will also include in this chapter a discussion about attractions which aren’t rides, but more like shows, as well. Not including rude cast members and park guests. They get a chaper all their own.

In the Studios, we suffered through what used to be called Playhouse Disney and is now called Playhouse Disney. Back when ZZUBY was Baby ZZUB’s age, before anyone had even heard of Barack Obama or his arch nemesis Sarah Palin, Playhouse Disney was a load of fun. And ZZUBY really dug it. They’ve changed the entire show now. Even the Playhouse Disney music has changed. But it’s the same basic elements. Silly, androgynously named host/hostess. Puppets. Bubbles. Confetti. Sit on the floor until your legs fall asleep. Yada, yada, snore.

Baby ZZUB found it as lame as Tommy Tubberville’s reasons for firing his offensive coordinator.

We also went to visit the Little Mermaid. Do you remember when this show was good? It was 1996. It was fresh and innovative. And the whole laser thing was cutting edge. The rain in the theater a neat effect. Now it’s like those doilies on your grandmother’s plastic covered sofa. Old and annoying.

The highlight of the Studios? The $6 slice of cake I had. But that’s a story for another day.

Actually, we had a great time on Toy Story Mania. Loved that bad boy.

That whole section of the park looks really cool now.

And the attention to small details was impressive. Look at how cool the FP machines are:

Just one question: what does this have to do with the Hollywood that never was?

Does no one in the Disney Company care about theme consistency anymore?

No matter. TSM was worth the day’s admission into the Studios. Baby Z had fallen asleep by the time our Fastpass window opened, so the Mrs. stayed with her and me and ZZUBY took it for a spin. The downside to using Fastpass on TSM, you miss the Potatohead deal. But the FP queue moved quickly. The ride itself is really well done. And a ton of fun. A ton. A big fat, solid metal ton of fun.

It’s nothing like Buzz Lightyear at all. Except that it’s an interactive ride. Speaking of Buzz, I still love that ride more than just about anything in the Magic Kingdom. In fact, here is my list of favorite things in the Magic Kingdom:

5. Walking down Mainstreet.
4. Asking people where I can find the castle.
3. Space Mountain
2. Butter Grilled Pound Cake (RIP)
1. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin

After years of not cracking the 300,00 point barrier. After resigning myself to my status as a perennial Planetary Pilot, I scored 477,400 points.

That’s right losers: I am now a freakin Space Ace!

I think there’s a jacket or something. I made Mrs. ZZUB and the girls call me Space Ace ZZUB all day. I threatened to unleash the power if they failed to use my new title. It was not unlike the day I turned 40 and I declared Birthday Immunity all day long. Which generally meant I could do or say whatever I wanted and nobody could stop me. Because I had the Birthday Immunity. That was some sweet crap right there.

I forgot about sweet crap. That’s another craptastic term. Did I tell y’all about craptastic? I forget.

ZZUBY still aint down with Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, but she rode it with me on account of the massive splashing I took on Splash Mountain.

This was the year that ZZUBY conquered the three MK mountains. First up, she and I rode Big Thunder Mountain. Big Thunder used to mean something else in the ZZUB house. We call her Aunt Barbara. ZZUBY loved BTMRR. I hated it as much as I did the last time I rode it about 12 years ago. For my money, that’s an awful lot of herking and jerking on a guy with the stomach of a middle aged, menopausal woman. NONicoleMarie. I love me some speed and hills o’fury. Upside down? No problem. Pictures of puke? Bring ‘em on. But I can’t take going backwards or jerking around side to side.

Which is why I could never be an astronaut. That and my fear of fire and small spaces. But I like to think I'd overcome those for a chance to go to the moon.

ZZUBY also took on Splash Mountain. She rode first with her mamma. She LOVED Splash Mountain. During our 3 days in the MK, she rode it with me 4 times. And for the love of a face full of scum filled water, every dadgum time, we ended up in the front row. Where you get the wettest.

While standing in line, ZZUBY asked me if we could sit in the front. I said, “no way, Jose” because I’m very clever. And multi-cultural. She said, “pleeeeeeeeease” in that way that she does that causes me to go all puddle because ZZUBY is the cutest little girl in the world. I said, “here’s the deal. I won’t ask for the front but I won’t refuse it either. But you’ve got to ride Buzz Lightyear with me.” She agreed.

And 4 times we got put in the front row. It was like she greased the maitre’ d. Slipped him a Pluto Jibbitz from her Croc or something.

She loved getting wet and loved Splash Mountain. I didn’t care for the bath of slimy water, but hearing her scream and seeing her finally get to ride Splash made up for it. ZZUBY’s all about Splash now. We knew she’d like it if she got past her fear of big hills. And we were right.

That’s one for the parents.

Space Mountain was a bit of a different challenge however. It was dark and ZZUBY wasn't sure she'd ride it. Still, I pulled some FPs for it early in the day. One of the real advantages to staying at the Ticket and Transportation Center Resort, is that Mrs. ZZUB and the baby could head back to the room leaving me and ZZUBY to hit some rides.

What’s that? You didn’t know there was a TTC Resort?

Neither did Disney.

You see . . . how to put this delicately . . . Mrs. ZZUB is somewhat, slightly, directionally challenged.

She gets lost walking to the kitchen.

She gets lost in the shower.

And those are places she’s familiar with. In Disney World, as she says, she’s “just along for the ride.” Which is funny. Because it’s real.

Unlike me and you, Mrs. Z hasn’t committed to memory the stops on the Monorail Resort Line. In other words, although she’s ridden the Monorail 800 times and although she’s heard me say that the Contemporary is the first stop leaving the MK, she didn’t actually remember that. So on our first day in the Magic Kingdom, we got on the Monorail to head back to our room. Y’all know the schpiel on the Monorail. How when you pull up to a stop, they announce what the next stop will be.

“This is the Polynesian Resort. The next stop will be Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and spa.”

And as the Monorail entered the Contemporary, and I stood up to grab my small children by the hand, the announcement advised us that the next stop was the Ticket and Transportation Center.

At which point Mrs. ZZUB promptly sat back down and looked at me with some confusion, “isn’t this the Ticket and Transportation Center?”

To which I replied, “Yeah, honey. I’m paying four bills a night to stay at the Ticket and Transportation Center.”

She craned her neck to look around me, out the open Monorail door to see where she was. Then she stood up and slapped the crap out of me with her eyes.

Frankly, I deserved that one.

And I didn’t actually pay four bills a night. I rounded up for effect.

Anyway, one afternoon, Mrs. Z wanted to take the baby back to the room. I made her repeat after me, “Contemporary Resort” and “eighth floor” and our room number. And she made me repeat, “one more time with that crap and you won’t eat hot food again this decade.”

Nevertheless, I confirmed that her cell phone was actually on so she could call me when she rode around the Seven Seas Lagoon for the 3d time and wanted to know when she should get off. Then ZZUBY and I headed for Space Mountain. ZZUBY was feeling tough on account of her loving BTMRR and Splash. We zipped through the Space Mountain queue and got to the switchbacks.

And then she saw it.

The rockets.

Where she would NOT be sitting next to me.

And she LOST it.

I tried to console her. Assured her that I would sit right behind her with my hand on her shoulder. I’d hold her the entire time.

“But Daaaaady! I’m not used to riding things by myself.” Yes, it was true. In the 3 hours since she had begun riding Magic Kingdom Mountains, she had not ridden any of them alone. I kneeled down next to her and explained that she wouldn’t be riding this one alone either. I’d be right behind her. “Every bit as close as if I was sitting next to you,” I again rounded up for effect.

The obviously child-less couple in front of us looked down on me with disapproval. I looked back at them and said with my eyes, “I’m not forcing her to ride, I’m just not letting her give into neurotic fear. Let’s see how you handle this situation when you have kids.” Evidently, they read my stare down because they turned away.

ZZUBY loved her some Space Mountain. ZZUB, however, did not. You know where the seat restraint hits you? The stomach. Do you know what you have to lean against in order to keep your hands on your daughter’s shoulders? The seat restraint. Do you have any idea what that feels like as you’re being herked and jerked all over the freakin galaxy?

It doesn’t feel good.

Remember the story of the ribs? This was worse. And there was NO potato salad.

But our MK days weren’t all about ZZUBY. Baby Z had a time, too. Like her big sister, she loved The Puppies of Progress. And she loved Small World. Frankly, so did I. The song still sucks but watching ZZUBY point out the duckbilled platypuses to her little sister and imitating their motion made me smile. For a couple of reasons.

One of them: Baby ZZUB loves her some ducks. All birds are ducks. Pronounced “guck!” If it’s said at all, it’s shouted. Kind of like Schpupin! So when Baby ZZUB saw the duckbilled platypuses’ duck bills, she shouted, “guck!"

I would enjoy watching the Democratic National Convention if it made Baby ZZUB shout “guck!” It’s that funny. And that fun.

Both girls enjoyed the Country Bears but mainly what they enjoyed was having the lobby of the show to themselves for about 10 minutes. They ran and chased each other and ZZUBY did some flips on the brass bars. Because ZZUBY takes gymnastics. And if all birds are gucks to Baby Z, then all bars are gym equipment to ZZUBY.

In Animal Kingdom, we found the Safari to be nothing special. But it did provide us with one of the funnier episodes of our trip.

Picture it: it’s early in the day. We’ve made rope drop. It’s hot. We’re in line for the Safari. We’re on vacation. And Baby Z is in her stroller. We’re in line behind another family also with two kids. Their little boy was in a stroller, too. And just as Mrs. ZZUB was putting some snacks on the tray of Baby Z’s stroller for her to munch on, we hear the lady in front of us say this to her husband,

“Richard, give him the Kashi.”

This as Mrs. ZZUB is dumping out a fun-sized box of Apple Jacks.

We were DED. We looked at each other and laughed. What?! It’s fruit flavored.

While in Animal Kingdom, we also took in Festival of the Lion King, where, you might recall, ZZUBY was “perfect” last year. As we wheeled into the FOTLK, it occurred to me to warn ZZUBY that she probably wouldn’t get picked this year. But then I didn’t. Turns out I didn’t need to.

As we walked into the theater (not pronounced the-yay-ter, I don’t care who you are), they directed us to the front row. And shortly after we were seated, a performer came along and scooped ZZUBY up to lead our group in our designated animal noise. ZZUBY did real well and I was glad she was picked for that because I was sure she wouldn’t get picked for the end deal like last year.

The FOTLK is a fun show. It’s loud and colorful and big. Like Nell Carter. Before she died. Sitting where we did, the characters came over and played with us. The tumble monkeys would run by and flipped the bill of our ball caps. The crazy dudes on stilts actually squatted down to play with Baby ZZUB. And the lady who sings Circle of Life looked right at me and smiled.

Which made me blush as big as Nell Carter’s breakfast. Before she died. She’s dead you know.

I like seeing how things work and watching performers deal with the special effects and rigging. And I like to point that kind of stuff out to my wife and daughters. So when they wheel out the trapeze deal for the tumble monkeys, I pointed out how the monkeys tested everything to make sure it was secure before they jumped on it. And before the flying bird lady started to fly, I noticed the blue bird dude connect her to her line and tap her waist to let her know she was secured. What I can’t figure out is how she doesn’t slam into the lights when she flies up into the rafters. That’s some kind of magic right there.

So we get to the end of the show and I see them start collecting kids for the Wiener Wrap number. And sure enough, a performer came and asked ZZUBY to come with her. I reached for my camcorder and I thought to myself, “hey she’s got a good shot of being perfect again. She’s in the right group for it.” And then they marched the kids around the stage and it’s all very loud and fun and ZZUBY’s having a time. And then she comes around the back, out from behind the stage and I can see her again.

And sure enough, the other kids get sent back to their seat. But not ZZUBY.

Because, as Timon says, she’s “perfect.” Again.

So now it’s the Festival of the Lion King, starring ZZUBY. Who, you might recall, is actually the voice of Wishes.

The list of things I’ve been wanting to try in Animal Kingdom got shorter this year because we actually made it inside It’s Tough to Be a Bug. I thought it was hilarious. Very well done. But ZZUBY was FREAKED OUT! Cried. Screamed. It was like the Tennessee locker room after they got shellacked by Bama. Only with less crying. And no Fat Phil Fulmer stealing everyone’s Swiss Cake Rolls. When it was over and we were walking out, ZZUBY said, “I am NOT ever going to see that again.” I didn’t care for her tone and told her, “Even though Timon says ‘you’re perfect,’ it doesn’t mean you are. Mind your tone, Missy.” Which confused Baby ZZUB who thinks her name is Did-dy. Even though it's not. Did-dy is how Baby Z says "sissy," which exactly no one but Baby Z calls her. And even she pronounces it Did-dy.

Is it any wonder our dog has a speech impediment?

In EPCOT, besides Test Track and Soarin, we rode the new Spaceship Earth. But I think the most fun we had there was in Innoventions. I’m telling you, you can have a craptastic time there. If you allow yourself.

We lost in Where’s the Fire. Which I had to take in stride. I’m about as competitive as they come. But the thing with Where’s the Fire is you don’t get to choose your team. So ZZUBY and I got teamed up with a family who spoke no English and a guy in a wheelchair who had an aide helping him. That our score was as close to the other team’s is a testimony to either how bad the other team was, or how amazing ZZUBY and I were.

We also did the Velcro deal, I think it was called What’s Your Problem? Funniest freakin' show ever. Although I think I was the only one laughing. I'm pretty sure we were the only people who spoke English in there. Mrs. Z and ZZUBY got pulled up on stage into the show. While Baby Z and I sat watching and Baby Z kept yelling “Did-dy!”

The other Innoventions deal we did was the Waste Management garbage thing. That was a lot of fun. And educational. Plus, we learned more how we can be green. And you thought that was just a color. Silly troglodyte, it isn’t a color; it’s a lifestyle. I liked the Waste deal because we got to push a garbage truck around. And when you backed up it beeped.

Just like Nell Carter. Before she died.

___________

Click Here For Chapter Six:

 

[MommyPoppins]

Can't actually read until tomorrow, but I just had to say something...

You realize that it's not actually 10/27 yet?

 

[kafitty]

woo!! i've been wading through the past Battle's for the last couple of days, i'm glad i got in on this one early!

and, i'm wicked stoked i guessed what your avatar picture was before seeing the explanation for it. i'm kinda awesome that way...

 

[Goofyluver]

And which rides we’ll walk past like a plate of raw cauliflower and lima beans, sitting next to autographed copies of Earth in the Balance and Dreams of My Father.

Dang...you got autographed copies??? Give me your ebay user name...I'll bid high.

Disney World is about prioritizing.

Word.

I love saying “into the crapper.” Seriously, I now look for opportunities to work that into conversation. I like other crap derivatives: Crapola. Crapstorm. Crap hole. Crapateria. In Spanish: el crapo. And the French: le crap’e.

El crapo??? Did you take into account female and male perspective?

La crapa...y el crapo...

We also went to visit the Little Mermaid. Do you remember when this show was good? It was 1996. It was fresh and innovative. And the whole laser thing was cutting edge. The rain in the theater a neat effect. Now it’s like those doilies on your grandmother’s plastic covered sofa. Old and annoying.

They served a purpose...those doilies and that plastic. When she kicks the bucket...her couch (circa 1954) will be fresh and ready to put straight into the Smithsonian.

It’s nothing like Buzz Lightyear at all. Except that it’s an interactive ride. Speaking of Buzz, I still love that ride more than just about anything in the Magic Kingdom. In fact, here is my list of favorite things in the Magic Kingdom:

5. Walking down Mainstreet.
4. Asking people where I can find the castle.
3. Space Mountain
2. Butter Grilled Pound Cake (RIP)
1. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin

6. Getting a big kick outta watching "THEM" stand bewildered looking at their map...feverishly trying to determind where that dern Dumbo ride is.

After years of not cracking the 300,00 point barrier. After resigning myself to my status as a perennial Planetary Pilot, I scored 477,400 points.

WTCrap???

You should write a book.

ZZUB's Guide to Shmokin' Your Kids on a Disney Ride.

That’s right losers: I am now a freakin Space Ace!

You could abbreviate and you'd just be Sp-aced.

But I can’t take going backwards or jerking around side to side.

NOPoliticalJokesHere.

She gets lost in the shower.

Well, you do have to close your eyes sometimes. I can understand that.

Frankly, I deserved that one.

Well...yea...

And I didn’t actually pay four bills a night. I rounded up for effect.

So glad you're name ain't Paulson.

Do you have any idea what that feels like as you’re being herked and jerked all over the freakin galaxy?

8 years of a GWB Presidency?

We were DED. We looked at each other and laughed. What?! It’s fruit flavored.

I firmly believe that fruit snacks should count as an actual serving of fruit.

I liked the Waste deal because we got to push a garbage truck around. And when you backed up it beeped.

Just like Nell Carter. Before she died.

I was expecting an Oprah joke here.

 

[LegoMom3]

Sometimes, we leave Disney World with regret. Anguish. We’ve missed something. We had a plan but the plan failed. Or we chose not to have a plan and that no-plan plan smacked us in the face like we just offered it a salad from McDonalds.

I leave Disney World with regret all the time. Anguish even. 'Cause I guarantee you I missed a LOT. I did have a plan. And the plan failed. Mostly. Or somewhat.

You know the feeling; you realize too late that you can’t use your Fastpass for Space Mountain because you have an ADR at Whispering Canyon Café and you’re not planning to come back into the MK after dinner. Or you want to see Illuminations but you also have a raging poop cramp that makes you want to go all Bobby Knight on someone.

The first part of this, yes. The second, not so much. But I can only imagine that it's not a pleasant situation to be in.

I love saying “into the crapper.” Seriously, I now look for opportunities to work that into conversation. I like other crap derivatives: Crapola. Crapstorm. Crap hole. Crapateria. In Spanish: el crapo. And the French: le crap’e.

Holy Toilets, Crapman!!

Actually, we had a great time on Toy Story Mania. Loved that bad boy.

My new favorite ride. Ever.

I forgot about sweet crap. That’s another craptastic term. Did I tell y’all about craptastic? I forget.

Now THAT'S funny!!!!

Unlike me and you, Mrs. Z hasn’t committed to memory the stops on the Monorail Resort Line. In other words, although she’s ridden the Monorail 800 times and although she’s heard me say that the Contemporary is the first stop leaving the MK, she didn’t actually remember that. So on our first day in the Magic Kingdom, we got on the Monorail to head back to our room. Y’all know the schpiel on the Monorail. How when you pull up to a stop, they announce what the next stop will be.

“This is the Polynesian Resort. The next stop will be Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and spa.”

And as the Monorail entered the Contemporary, and I stood up to grab my small children by the hand, the announcement advised us that the next stop was the Ticket and Transportation Center.

At which point Mrs. ZZUB promptly sat back down and looked at me with some confusion, “isn’t this the Ticket and Transportation Center?”

To which I replied, “Yeah, honey. I’m paying four bills a night to stay at the Ticket and Transportation Center.”

She craned her neck to look around me, out the open Monorail door to see where she was. Then she stood up and slapped the crap out of me with her eyes.

Frankly, I deserved that one.

Yeah ya did!

So now it’s the Festival of the Lion King, starring ZZUBY. Who, you might recall, is actually the voice of Wishes.

Well if Disney is gonna strip you of your wallet, you may as well infiltrate their shows with your kid's shining talent! Next she'll be all lit up and gliding down the wire from the castle....


.

 

[crabbygal902]

Chapter 5 was craptastic! And crab-tastic, too.

And I'm glad I'm not the only person on earth who would have to ask directions to get out of a paper bag. We directionally-challenged types usually pair up with people who could be dropped in Borneo and get back home without looking at a map. I call my wandering "exploring new territory." Crabbyhusband calls it "lost without a clue."

If you dared to ask me where the castle was, I'd have to consult a compass even if we were standing in CRT making small talk with Cindy herself while waiting to be seated.

Seems like a perfectly normal question to me. But I am the woman who meanders through parking lots hitting the panic button on my remote, hoping to "hear" her car.

I am waiting eagerly for the next chapter, but don't make me go looking for it.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Nell Carter died? Oh NOOOOO

 

[Familycircus]

Yea, I got my ZZUB fix before Monday.

.

 

[LaLa]

Or were those the things you DIDN'T ride? I'm confused. It's almost as if you took a trip that you didn't write about but then chose to write about it after the fact. In conjunction with your subsequent trip. To Universal Studios.

Only not really.

One thing I do know: in order to hit all those parks and all those rides on your very first day, it doesn't take a MSU grad to know somebody's been hittin' the Geritol pretty hard. Good for you. No reason to slow down just because you're in your golden years.

...like we just offered it a salad from McDonalds.

Obviously you've never tried the Southwest salad with grilled chicken. Shame.

Funny thing about our priorities. How they change. Before we had kids, when my wife and I would go to Disney World, we’d storm the E Tickets. Race from Space to Splash or Tower of Tower to Rock n'Rollercoaster. Now, once inside the gates, we head to whatever ride ZZUBY is wanting to hit. Small World. Peter Pan. Pooh. Mickey’s Philharmagic. It’s all about her. And her little sister.

Funny how parenthood changes your priorities isn't it? DH and I marvel about this strange phenomenon on just about every trip we take there. That and the prices. The ghastly stench of B.O. The radioactive fog of perpetual funk near the Outpost at Epcot. Men who voluntarily wear Speedos. But mostly it's the prices. And the Speedos. Along with the fog of funk.

How long do you think they sat in that writer’s meeting coming up with the name "Seven Costanza?" What got kicked around first?

I'm gonna go with Six.

ZZUBY loved her some Space Mountain. ZZUB, however, did not. You know where the seat restraint hits you? The stomach. Do you know what you have to lean against in order to keep your hands on your daughter’s shoulders? The seat restraint. Do you have any idea what that feels like as you’re being herked and jerked all over the freakin galaxy?

Unfortunately, yes. But if a Star Cadet can handle it, I'm sure it's nothing to a big, bad Space Ace. Unless you aren't really a Space Ace and you just slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

You see . . . how to put this delicately . . . Mrs. ZZUB is somewhat, slightly, directionally challenged.

Ain't no shame in that game, Mrs. Z. I'll be the first one to admit I'm the same way. The thing is that DH is normally pretty gifted in that department. Most of the time anyway. So I just sit back and enjoy the ride. Rest assured that he'll get me where I need to be. Which is kind of nice. Now, when it comes to Disney, I know my way around. But only because my Disney geek knows no bounds. But put me outside Disneyworld and tell me I've got to get from I-4 to 75 and I'll be riding around in circles all day. Crying. And using my phone a friend option. After my cell phone finishes recharging, that is.

Plus, we learned more how we can be green.

Lookin' good, Mr. GreenJeans. You're a lot taller than I thought you'd be.

I have no clue what a dangling particle is. Perhaps you mean dangling participle? Or were you absent the day they taught grammar in school?

Very cute. And I assume you were absent the day God was handing out long term memory.

I forget.

You don't say.

Enjoyed this one, ZZUB. It was entertaining and funny in an odd sort of way.

Like Mr. Ed.

Before he died.

 

[TarzansKat]

Disney World is about prioritizing.

The highlight of the Studios? The $6 slice of cake I had.

And that just says it all right there.

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

Very nice Zzub!

Lovin' it all.