The Battle for My Wallet Part II: Disneyland Boogaloo

[kathymc]

wow - another great report. (sniff, sniff)

thanks for sharing - looking forward to more

 

[vettechick99]

By the way, Vettechick, our next trip is before your trip. Our trips won’t overlap. That’s a shame. We could have written funny trip reports from two different perspectives. We could be the Zurg and Delswife for a new generation. They are so last year.

Uh hellooooooo?!? How can you plan a Fall trip without consulting me on dates?

Vettechick... DH and i will be grubbin and boozin same time in October, can't wait for more reports from you! Maybe we could all booze together!

Maybe Luv and I will just have to write that trip report together! Maybe YOU are so last year!

Right around the time I was about to take one of them aside and offer to help, a manager got himself involved.

Aww, I kinda like you again now.

And hers. It was the kind of moment you hope your kid will have in a Disney park, but never really expect to happen.

OK, you just hush with your daddy-daughter stories. I can't handle those!

And Luv, you let me know the time and place. As long as the time is anytime and the place is the World Showcase.

 

[harleyquinn]

Hey! What about next year?! I'll be there October 23-30, 2006. Now ALL of you plan your trips accordingly, and we'll write the mother of all trip reports! Wait, hasn't that title been used already? "The Mac-daddy of all trip reports" then...fits with vettechick's home town!

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Five:

If it’s possible, we got an even later start the next day. It was actually after 11:00 before we got into Disneyland: The Park. We were living la vida loca. For those of you now questioning my Disney bona fides, I assure you if had been up to me we would have been there at least 30 minutes before they opened the gates. But I learned long ago (at least during the first trimester) to never purposefully disagree with my wife. She’s sweet and generally easy going, but when provoked, well Hell hath no fury and all that. On vacation she asks very little. She just likes to sleep in. In Disney World it almost never happens, except on the day we check out. But I had promised her this trip would be different. Therefore, I tried earnestly to accommodate her need for more sleep. However, I’m used to waking up early every day and my body clock doesn’t stop on vacation. Plus, we were at Disneyland: The Resort, it’s hard to sleep when there are rides and stuff so close. And, I’m me. I’ve paid for those tickets. I don’t go to a Disney park to sleep. I go to ride the rides, eat the food, smell the smells and have people walk into my magic stroller. So even though we were “taking it easy” on this trip, I was still waking up hours before my wife and daughter. However, I found useful ways to pass the time between when I woke up and the rest of my family arose. I’d shower, re-read the park maps, plan out my day, and spend some time praying and reading the Bible. Then I’d go eat breakfast. You’ll recall from Chapter One that we received a bevy of free breakfast coupons at check in. So each morning off I’d trod to the restaurant with a newspaper under my arm. I love breakfast. I really love breakfast buffets with waffles and omelets and fruit and those little danishes. I really, REALLY love COMPLIMENTARY breakfast buffets. It was a little slice of Heaven, right there in Anaheim.

When we go to Disney World, I almost never make time for a real breakfast. Usually it’s pop tarts and Diet Coke (the real breakfast of champions) while I’m watching the tip of the day or Krista remind me of things I already know. Occasionally, we’ll go to a character meal but as I’ve said before, I find those especially stressful in the morning. So taking the paper and heading to the restaurant for the FREE buffet was kind of nice. I enjoyed the morning respite. After I finished, I would ask for two to-go boxes and I’d get breakfast for my girls. They also gave me a coffee to go for my wife which she really appreciated. Usually by the time I got back to the room they were up. Or would wake up when I “accidentally” let the door slam. Oops.

This was to be our last full day with our friends. Right after we got into Disneyland: The Park, we decided to find a good spot to have our picture taken for our Christmas card. As it turns out there was no line for the base of the Christmas tree but, well, you know. We thought maybe we’d have it taken in front of the castle but the hordes of other people turned us off. Instead we had it taken in the hub where we were surrounded by poinsettias and other flowers. And Walt’s butt. Yes, right there in our Christmas picture, between my head and my wife’s head is Walt Disney’s butt. There’s a picture you don’t see in the souvenir books.

Our first ride of the day? You guessed it. It’s a Small World. Oy.

After that, we rode the monorail. Isn’t that cute? We actually walked over to Tomorrowisemptyland and stood in line for the monorail. It’s a ride. Like the tea cups, only it doesn’t spin. We stood in line forever. It felt like we were on It’s a Small World again. After 40 minutes (yes, we waited that long to ride the monorail!) the cast member told us it was having some problems and they encouraged us to come back later. I asked what kind of problems, relationship? money? legal? Maybe I could help. He declined to be more specific but said it would likely be another 30 minutes. What’s 30 more minutes when we’d already invested 45? We were like those pathetic people in Vegas who keep plunking more money into the machine thinking the next pull of the handle will bring our jackpot. My daughter loves the monorail and she was not going to be denied. So we waited. We practice a style of parenting that calls for giving in to all of your child's demands. Not really. We're not those people. Unfortunately, the people in line behind us also decided to wait. They started out nice enough, but then they began telling us how much money they had. Why did they do that? I immediately assumed the opposite was true. No one I know with money tells people they have money. The people I know with real money look like they don’t have a dime. I’ve never known anyone with money who tells total strangers they are well to do. And even if they were loaded (which they were not), who cares? I wasn’t impressed. It didn’t get them on the monorail any faster. In fact, it may have been the reason we had to wait longer. Not really. I'm just trying to make a point.

How did this come up in conversation? Good question. It all started out very innocently. We were waiting in line for a really long time. One of them asked the other about the submarine lagoon. I’m a self-avowed Disney nerd and even though it was my first trip to Disneyland, I knew what was going on in the lagoon and that it was rumored (it is now no longer only a rumor) that a Finding Nemo ride was being planned for the space. I listened to them bounce back and forth with wrong ideas about what was going to happen there and I finally butted it. I couldn’t help myself. I can’t abide Disney ignorance. It was just like the time five years ago when this family of four was arguing over Fastpass (like the pierced lip wasn’t more suitable fodder). I had to jump in to explain that their daughter was right, you didn’t need multi day passes to use Fastpass.

You’ve done it too, so don’t judge me.

So I’d opened the door and the niceties were unavoidable. Somewhere in the “where are you from, what do you do?” section, this guy started telling us about his business, how much money he has, what kind of car he drives and how good a boss he is. I don’t know how he worked all of that into the conversation, I blacked out there for a while, but he wasn’t shy about his net worth. It was pointless drivel. Like a debate over using refillable mugs from past trips. Either buy a new one each trip or do what you want, but don't look for approval from total strangers. We're not your parents. We're not responsible for your moral guidance. And we don't work for Disney. You cannot re-use an old mug and then when confronted say, "but the people on the Disboards said I could."

Where was I? Eventually the monorail showed up and we ran for it like we were running for land in the west. There were two families fighting over who was going to sit up front. I found some humor in that. No reason. Perhaps schadenfreude. I had half a mind to tell Richie Rich that first class was up front, but in the crush to board we had already been separated.

By the way, the monorail in Disneyland is much smaller than in Disney World. You cannot stand on it. And the windows open. I don’t mean they pop open a little so you can spit out your gum in the Seven Seas Lagoon (not that I’ve ever done that), I mean they open almost all the way. You could fall out if you wanted to.

We got on and found some seats and rode the monorail to the Downtown Disney station and back again. It is interesting how Disneylanders treat this as a ride rather than a way to get from the Transportation and Ticket Center to the Magic Kingdom. Maybe because they don’t have a TTC. The monorail ride to Downtown Disney goes pretty quickly. Maybe the ride is no faster than in Florida, but it seemed to me we moved pretty fast. Not scary fast. It’s not like Rock n’ Roller coaster, man wouldn’t that be fun?! It was just too fast to take any pictures. On the ride back from Downtown Disney, you make this odd circular entry to Disneyland: The Park. You circle around several times. More times than I needed to. It was enough already.

We got off the monorail in Tomorrowisemptyland and made our way through the park towards the main gate. It occurs to me as I write this that we must have ridden some other rides in Disneyland that day, but I can’t think of which ones. Maybe we were woozy from the monorail ride. We crossed the esplanade and entered into DCA. We rode Soarin again and then “ate” something which passed itself off as lunch at this airplane themed restaurant next to Soarin. Predictably the food was horrible. Interestingly enough, this restaurant had a self serve ATM-like machine for you to order you meal with. I thought it was cool although it was no quicker than giving my order to a live person. The four elderly women in the line next to me were completely flummoxed. I felt bad for them. The machine was not entirely user friendly and if you’re not accustomed to computers, Palm Pilots, ipods and the like, it could be intimidating. After a few minutes of frustration, a cast member came over and helped them. Once you order your food, you move up to the counter and wait for someone to hand you a tray. It’s just like Disney World. Only with machines instead of people taking your order. And crappy food.

After “lunch” we walked over to Flik’s Fun Fair. Evidently, after guests complained there wasn’t enough to do for little kids in DCA, they threw together this section of the park with the spare change in Michael Eisner’s pockets. Everything in FFF is for little kids and the theme is, as you might imagine, Bugs Lifeish. You will not confuse this area of the park with Fantasyland or even Toon Town but it had a certain charm to it. There were some spinning rides for little kids and little kid bumper cars. And there was Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train. You may have seen this ride in your local mall. Yes, it’s that off the shelf. On the other hand, it does contain some interesting smell features so you know you’re in a Disney park. My daughter thought it was fun. We rode it twice. Not so much because we wanted to, but more because there was no one waiting to get on and we felt bad for the ride operator.

I will say this for FFF, they had really cool light fixtures. They were shaped like bendy straws. I thought that showed some element of attention to detail. But they were light fixtures. If only the rides were as detailed. Sigh.

We met back up with our friends and went back to Playhouse Disney. It was no better the second time. Except this was funny to me: our kids were Disney beat. You know the look of complete exhaustion your kid gets after a few days of Disney. The “please let us nap” look. So we sat down in PHD and the show starts. Being good moms, our wives sat on the floor with the kids. Being good dads, we moved to the side and complained about how corny the show was. Then we turned on the camcorders. At some point in the show, Jamie comes off stage and dances around the room. A spotlight follows him. He came right over to where our kids were and he tried to induce them to do the Bear Cha Cha Cha. They would have none of it. They stared at him blankly as if he’d just asked them to eat lima beans. Or a Disneyland hamburger. He eventually moved on. It was hysterical to watch. You can hear me laughing on the video. After the bubbles, I think both kids fell asleep.

Here’s an interesting bit o’ trivia for you. In both MGM and DCA, after complaints about a lack of things to do, Playhouse Disney replaced a restaurant. In MGM it was a character buffet with villains; in DCA it was some soap opera themed joint. Now you can be the guy on the bus boring people with your vast knowledge of Disney parks.

Next we crossed back over to Disneyland and set up shop on the curb for the Christmas parade. Once we settled into a spot, I went in search of coffee and snacks. I found some bakery that had to-die-for cookies and brown water served hot. I found my way back to our group right as the balloon people were walking down Mainstreet. The guy next to us lamented how expensive they are. His point was not invalid, I think $6 for a balloon is ridiculous. On the other hand, I’d just spent $2.50 for a cookie so ridiculous is a sliding scale.

The parade itself was pretty long, like Yellow Submarine long, and there were scores of characters. Even the loser characters were in it. Did you know Goofy has a son named Max?! Who knew?

The park closed early that night so we went to Downtown Disney to buy some more future yard sale items and to eat dinner. We accomplished the first task with little difficulty. But the waits in all the restaurants were unseemly long. So we headed back to the Crowne Plaza and ate dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack.

When we’re in Florida, I’m Disney’s dream tourist: once we arrive, we don’t leave the property for any reason. We eat all of our meals there. In California, however, the food was so bad, I was grateful to break away from the Disney “magic” for dinner. By the way, Joe’s was pretty good. I wouldn’t fly to Anaheim just to eat there, but it was better than any place we ate at in Disneyland. He says offering it only faint praise.

Next time: Vomiting on Disney’s California Adventure. Literally.

 

[4greatboys]

You’ve done it too, so don’t judge me.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Did you know Goofy has a son named Max?! Who knew?

I did.

Another good installment.

 

[MazdaUK]

Did you know Goofy has a son named Max?! Who knew?

I knew too! (He pops up on House of Mouse and other Disney DTV stuff where they need a filler character). In fact DS(11) got a picture and autograph with him at China in Epcot - no, I don't know why he chose to hang round China. Perhaps he likes noodles

Bring on the next part!

 

[vettechick99]

Next time: Vomiting on Disney’s California Adventure. Literally.

Ew.

Hey, how about some pictures to go along with the report? Please?

 

[zalansky]

OH MAN, ZZUB! So many things cracked me up in your report.... Too many to list!
I could listen to you type or read what you... whatever, all day! Great job! Can't wait for more!

Vettechick... DH and i will be grubbin and boozin same time in October, can't wait for more reports from you! Maybe we could all booze together!

Ditto, and ditto.

This report has literally saved my day. Until an hour ago, I was watching the clock in agony here at work (ugh, work) and I found this report and it was literally as if someone brought me back to life.

Thank you!!!!!

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Six:

All was fine when we woke up in our undeniably nice yet remarkably affordable room at the Crowne Plaza. I laid in bed thinking about the day ahead. This was our last day. I was sad to be leaving. I am always sad to leave a Disney park. But I wasn’t morose. In fact, it occurred to me that my sadness had more to do with being back in my office the next day. Why do I do that? Why do I allow my thoughts to drift that direction? I was laying in a very comfortable bed; Disneyland was a mere 8 minutes away and a full day of fun was ahead of us. I wasn’t thinking about that. Instead, I was thinking that 24 hours later I would be sitting behind my desk choking on the smoke from the fires which were burning there. I would be making decisions about things I had put off until “after my trip.” My trip would be over in a few hours and I would be back in the world of deadlines, pressures and responsibilities. On the other hand, there would be good coffee, so I had that going for me.

My family was still sleeping. As usual. I got up and went through what had become my morning routine. One thing that irked me somewhat about the Crowne Plaza was that the menu on the breakfast buffet didn’t change. Everyday they had the same items. Yes, I’m aware that makes me a colossal ingrate. I got the food for free and I am griping about the lack of diversity on the menu. I’m also a hypocrite because as my wife or any of my friends will tell you, I basically eat the same things all the time. In other words, even if the Crowne Plaza had different things on the menu, I would still have eaten the same things each day. I am a product of my generation. We’re never happy. It’s never enough. It’s not my fault.

Someone must have packed up our stuff because we eventually came home and I haven’t noticed anything missing, but at the moment, I don’t recall packing. I’m sure I did pack some and certainly I loaded the car, but I don’t remember any of that now. It was our last day there and we were flying out of John Wayne that night (the airport, not the man; he’s dead), we drove to Disneyland and parked in the mammoth parking garage.

A word about Disney “magic” and all that. There is rarely consensus on these boards about any topic except, generally, we all love Disney. I have read that certain hotels lack the Disney magic, to wit: the Swan and Dolphin. Others think the Contemporary isn’t so magical (I couldn’t disagree with this group more). Of course there is no consensus about what the Disney “magic,” is or what makes you sense the “magic.” When speaking of the Swan and Dolphin, it appears to be the lack of Mickey soaps. On the other hand, there is a group of people so devoted to the Swan and Dolphin they formed their own sorority. It’s unclear whether they have any sort of special handshake, but clearly they sense the Disney “magic” at these resorts. Riding the busses seems un-magical to some, although I frankly enjoy it. Have I mentioned that I’m nothing more than white trash with a few bucks in my pocket? In the mornings everyone is giddy with anticipation and those who aren’t giddy are roundly scorned by the ones they are with. In the evenings, there is always someone talking about what they did that day and how much fun it was. It is usually me. And occasionally there’s someone crying. But that just keeps you grounded in reality. The bus ride is “magic” to me. Periodically we drive to one of the parks in Disney World, but more often than not, we arrive by bus, by boat or by monorail. It is rare when we drive from our hotel to a park and hop a tram. Even so, the Disney World parking lots are well organized and because the tram drivers are normally very friendly, I usually sense we are still “in the magic” whatever that means.

This was not the case in Disneyland. The parking structure is mammoth and, in my experience, hard to find your way into. I followed the map and it seemed that the entrance I headed towards was closed. There was a sign directing me towards the “Ball Street Entrance” as if I knew where that was. I didn’t even know where Ball Street was. After several potentially illegal u-turns (I admit nothing) we found our way into the parking deck. It is impossibly large and, as most parking decks are, comprised entirely of cement. In other words, for those of you who find the Contemporary un-magical; steer clear of the parking deck at Disneyland. It didn’t even have a monorail running through it. After circling around until we found a space on the 23rd floor, we parked and walked a half a mile towards an elevator which took us down to the sixth floor where we boarded a ridiculously large escalator which took us to the ground where we waited an impossibly long amount of time for a snarky tram driver to pull her tram up to the loading area. We boarded and sat down and eventually were dumped off in Downtown Disney. In other words, not so much Disney “magic.”

We started through “security,” and got stuck in line behind a woman on her cell phone who not only was arguing with the person on the other end, and using profanities, she was downright surly to the poor Disney “security” person attempting to “search” her bags. Cell phone woman was not listening to the instructions but continued arguing with the person on the other end. Periodically, she would respond to the “security” person’s request to open a bag. Look, I am as big a critic of the so-called “security” check points at Disney as anyone. It’s mindless window dressing which serves no useful purpose. They waste valuable Disney time. But that is not the fault of the hapless cast members assigned to work “security.” They are doing their jobs and unlike their TSA counterparts, they are fairly pleasant about it. There is no reason to be rude to them. Frankly, there is no reason to be rude to anyone but that message seems to be lost in our culture. Cell phone woman was downright condescending. If she was in that kind of mood going in, what kind of mood was she going to be in once she had to stand in a line? Or eat that lousy food? And why did she think any of us wanted to listen to her arguing on her cell phone? Don’t you miss the days when people’s phone conversations were private?

No, there was no “magic” here, either.

We went first into DCA and rode Soarin’ again. I can’t say enough about how great this ride is. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. It’s generally my experience that whenever something is hailed as “so great” it is usually “so suck.” For instance, Cats. Soarin’ was the rare instance where the actual event lived up to the hype. It is that good. So in love with this ride am I that recently I read in someone else’s trip report that he or she didn’t like it, and I decided that person was an idiot. That’s right, a person I’ve never met, probably a perfectly nice individual, is an idiot in my book because he or she didn’t like Soarin’. Welcome to red state/blue state America.

You can insult my wife, call my kid ugly and spit on my alma mater, but don’t dare insult Soarin’! You’ve got your standards. I’ve got mine.

After Soarin’ we made our way over to the Redwood Challenge Play Area. The cool thing about this area is that there was play equipment and activities for kids of just about every age. There were little kid slides and tunnels and there were big kid rocks and such. It is probably the best themed area of the entire park, and one wonders why they invested so much attention here and virtually no where else. I’ve been going to Disney World since I was a little dude. There was nothing like this for little kids in Disney World back then. Tom Sawyer’s Island comes the closest but it really isn’t the same. When we used to go to Disney World, back in the day when you could see EVERYTHING in 2 days, we would stay at the Days Inn/Days Lodge (do you remember those?) and they had a playground and a pool. The monkey bars were shaped like a rocket ship and we thought that was awesome. Now, however, Disney World has Toon Town and soon enough the Pooh play area where be where the Lagoon used to be. My daughter has never lived in a world where the only monkey bars were at the Days Inn. My daughter has NEVER stayed at a Days Inn. Poor thing is traumatized that our next trip we’re staying at Port Orleans and not ASMovies. “No Buzz and Woody?!” She doesn’t know I walked uphill in the snow to school and stayed at a Days Inn and didn’t have a Redwood Challenge Play Area. She has the luxury of not knowing the things I know.

She had a great time there and I shot a good bit of video of her playing on slides and stuff. For my money, the coolest thing about the Redwood area was the uber soft ground. What is that stuff? I want some for my office. It’s so cushy. I liked bouncing on it. I don’t get to bounce so much at my job.

Next we headed over towards Paradise Pier and ate lunch at McDonald’s. Finally a good meal. Hugely expensive though. Scary expensive. I felt violated. But the food was good and so I barely minded. Afterwards we walked through Paradise Pier and looked at all of the cheesy carnival rides we weren’t going to ride. I took a lot of pictures because no matter how tacky the place is, and it is tacky, it had a certain aesthetic appeal. Or have I just spent too much time in Wal Mart? We walked over towards the big Sun Wheel and got in line for the stationary cars. I suppose the swinging cars are more fun; we may never know. The stationary cars were lame. When we were done, we headed over towards California Screaming and because both my wife and I are coaster lovers, we decided we would take turns riding it. My daughter was acting fussy all of a sudden, so my wife said I should go first. Just as I was about to walk over to the line, my daughter started to hurl. The Quick Hurl. Splashing on the ground before anyone could stop her. I know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and my little girl shares my love for all things Disney, but this was the most peculiar sort of commentary. DCA wasn’t THAT bad. I actually kind of enjoyed this park. But there she was, little Miss Disney Princess, demonstrating in the most dramatic fashion just what she thought of this little park. She’s a harsh critic.

My wife ran with her into the bathroom and I stayed with the stroller. After a few minutes, they came out but my daughter was still looking a little pale. My wife said I should go ride Screaming and she would wait with my daughter. I gratuitously offered to stay so she could ride but she’s been married to me long enough to know I didn’t mean it. So off I went. The line was ridiculously short and within about 5 minutes I was seated in the back next to a guy who I later found out had never been on a coaster before. Why would you start with this ride? Why not start with something more tame, like say Big Thunder Mountain? I'll never understand people.

The ride has a power launch similar to Rockin Roller coaster and then there is a second lift hill and of course a loop in front of Mickey’s head. It is a very fun and surprisingly smooth ride. We even managed to brake without slamming headlong into another car. While we’re sitting in the now infamous brake zone 7 (how nerdy am I that I know which brake zone we were in?) the guy next to me finally makes a sound. Until that point I thought he was a mute. I’m screaming like an idiot through the whole ride and he didn’t make a peep. I almost forgot he was there. Then he says, “That was scary.” No emotion, just sort of matter-of-fact. He was the model of brevity. Many people have wished I was more like him.

I got off the ride still jacked up about how fun it was until I turned the corner and saw that my sweet little girl wasn’t doing any better. My wife told me she had thrown up again. We put her in her stroller and got her some juice and water to drink. We pushed her around for a while and she fell asleep. We didn’t know what else to do. She really wanted to ride It’s a Small World again, but we didn’t want to wake her up. We decided we’d let her sleep and in the mean time we would buy some more souvenirs. We stopped in some shop right near the front of DCA and I filled a box with more Mr. Potatohead parts. There was a lady next to me at the parts table eyeing me with suspicion because I didn’t have a body in the box. But I ignored her and kept going.

We then crossed over into Disneyland: The park and started moving toward IASW in the event my daughter woke up. She didn’t. We walked around for a while, bought her another stuffed animal because we honestly thought she needed another one and she kept sleeping. At this point, the skies were turning black and we decided to just head for the airport. We walked back down Mainstreet, through the turnstiles, and back towards the tram stop in Downtown Disney. The tram pulled up a few minutes later and no sooner had we boarded the tram when my daughter woke up and promptly threw up. Yup, no Disney “magic” here.

Next time: The Insanely Bad Waitress and Final Thoughts.

 

[BlueBayou]

ZZUB,

Wonderful trip report! It is reminding me of our trips with our girls.

You know, most of the time we have sit down meals at Disneyland we are disappointed. We do like some of the counter service places (Bengal BBQ across from Indiana Jones and the Gumbo bowl place under the Disney Gallery). The Pasta place in Tommowisemplyland is pretty good too.

Our family is also okay with DCA too. No it is not Disneyland, but with two preschool kids, they like it just fine. My 4 1/2 year old loves the fact she will ride what I call the 'wheel of death' aka the 'Sun Wheel' when mom won't (in my defense, I am a coaster lover, I just don't like heights or enclosed places).

For our trips to DCA when our oldest daughter was 7-months and 15-months we had wonderful character interaction. The Hollywood backlot was so dead that Max and Donald both just came up to our daughter. It is priceless video.

I also have to agree with you about all the characters this past holiday season in Town Square. On the first day of our December trip we were slowing making our way to our princess character breakfast. Our then 4-year-old was dressed as Sleeping Beauty. Our not quite 2-year-old was Belle. We were so excited to be there we didn't quite realize the person yelling 'Little Sleeping Beauty' was calling for us. Next thing we knew Prince Phillip and Sleeping Beauty were calling to our daughter and coming over to us. There we were in front of the Christmas tree, with Sleeping Beauty and Prince Phillip both down on their knees talking to our daughter. She was in heaven. It was Disney magic. AND IT ALL HAPPENED TOO FAST AND WE DID NOT GET VIDEO.

For the rest of our 5-day stay (In the AM our oldest wore her Sleeping Beauty dress, after nap she was in street clothes) it was the same Sleeping Beauty and Prince Phillip. My oldest would play shy with prince Phillip, but when he would walk away she would call to him and wave bye. Not too many people seemed interested in Prince Phillip, but my daughter was a fan. She would want to wait in line to see them, but then she would act shy. One time when we ran into Prince Phillip on Town Square and my oldest was acting shy, he got my youngest out of the stroller and danced her over to Minnie Mouse. The video is priceless. I was watching my oldest so I did not get to see how cute it was when we were there. It sure brought a tear to my eye when I saw the video. By our last day there, Phillip was actually calling our daughter by her name. He was a wonderful character.

Thanks for sharing your trip and reminding me of the fun we have had!

Sher

 

[fizz13]

Thanks so much for the great report. You had me laughing, welling up and well..feeling ill I had a great time reading so thanks again. Here's to many more,

Claire xx

 

[MazdaUK]

great report!

 

[vettechick99]

I gratuitously offered to stay so she could ride but she’s been married to me long enough to know I didn’t mean it.

We even managed to brake without slamming headlong into another car.

Those are funny.





Cuz they're true.

 

[HaleyB]

After we dropped our excess baggage off at the lockers, we continued down Mainstreet and through the Castle. Because our eyes were working, they blinked, and we missed the interior of the castle. Yes, it’s that small. If you laid two Tic Tacs end to end, half of one Tic Tac would be sticking out the back end of the castle. Seriously, I’m trying to remember what the “interior” of the castle looked like, and I cannot recall. I only remember seeing the other side.

You walked under it. There are (were? yes come to think of it I think they closed the castle about a decade ago) stairs around back that you go up and then you get to 'see' the castle. Not that it was any big deal, but there you have it.

Of course you also know it is backwards, right?

Eating in Disneyland takes years or research, but you can get some good eats if you know where to look. At least you didn't get suckered into the Blue Bayou (or did you?). There are good hot dogs in DCA (across from the animation building) and the smoothies down the road are good too.

Tomorrowisemptyland is now less empty. It was really dark with the walls up around Buzz. Plus they did have a bit of thet 'tomorrow that never was' thing going on still. Space Mountian is open again, and guess what, you need to go back for it, it is that good (and I don't even work for the Mouse man). Really.

I am so glad you realized how great POC is in Dineyland. It was Walt's favorite attraction (I have been vindicated, I got flamed for not being able to back up that claim last year. It was just published in my Disney Visa Newsletter, so it must be true.)

I liked DCA too. I skipped it for years because I had heard so many people trash it. I think I had zero expectations. That helps. But it does have a nice coaster and a cool playground and Turtle Talk with Crush (dude) and Soarin' and and and, you know. Plus there were no lines. In July. In the actual 50th anniversarry date is July 17th, 2005 July. OK, maybe there were a few little lines.

I think Disneys skill at getting money out of our wallets has hit a new peak with this "free dining" promotion... we shall see.

Did you miss the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland?

 

[gopherit]

As I’ve said many times before, no one is more expert at separating me from my money than Disney. After some time analyzing our budget, we decided we could afford to take this unplanned and unbudgeted for trip. You know what’s weird? Until I sat down with our budget, I didn’t realize that I was running a surplus. How did Disney know? Spooky, isn’t it?

Your tale could have prompted DH to pump his fist in the air and holler, "Testify, brutha!" (Except DH doesn't usually read the DIS board trip reports, sad pup. Nor does he do the fist pump. And he doesn't say "Testify!" Or "Brutha!" But if not for those minor details, he could have said it.) Seems whenever we get ahead by a buck, Disney sends us more DVC enticements... Big Brother wears mouseears, methinx.

We arrived at John Wayne Airport on Friday night and walked straight to the Emerald Aisle. Every car was exactly the same, it was an endless row of white Chevy Malibus. If it wasn’t for rental car companies, would anyone buy this car in white? (To the person in Missouri who right now is reading this and feeling bad about the white Chevy Malibu parked in the driveway, I apologize. No offense intended. But when you’re ready to sell your car, call National. They’ll take it off your hands.)

Bwaaahaaahaahhaa! TOO FUNNY! Our company uses National and now it's my turn to pump my fist in the air and holler an appreciative verification of this! (If I did this sort of thing... which I don't, or not since college and The Arsenio Hall show on TV...) I think I get the White Clone EVERY time, no matter what city I fly to!

You know what I missed the most? The zip-a-dee-do-dah tip for the day. But I missed that the last time we stayed at ASMovies. So we’re even.

oh dear... just as I was so appreciating this tome, you had to throw that in there. You didn't REALLY miss this, did you? I find it hard to believe that you could so readily dispense with your "neat & pretty" toiletries but still yearn for this? Now, I suppose, if the tip were something USEFUL, I'd agree. But anytime I've ever seen these, it's like,

"Tip: Use a map to find your way around the parks!"
Or...
"Tip: When it rains, look for indoor attractions!"
Or...
"Tip: When you are hungry, eat something!"

And each time the oh-so-perky-like-they-REALLY-helped-you music follows. Same tip, all day long, too (guess that's the "of the day" part.) No thanks, I'll take the soap and shampoo instead! Give me a Zip-a-dee-do-dah feel for how I can take that park map, turn it into an origami umbrella that can later be recycled into a low carb snack -- and now we're talking TIP OF THE DAY...

I’ll say again, before we got there, I was not all that interested in going to Disneyland. I was certain it would feel like I was out on a date with the sister of my girlfriend. Kind of like what I knew but ultimately unsatisfying.

Ok, ok, you've redeemed yourself with THAT one! (Hey, maybe THAT could be a ZZUB-itty-do-dah Tip of the Day!)

Seriously, it’s like a public school cafeteria put up an amusement park. The only thing missing were the tater tots and 2% milk in small cartons.

Too bad -- those were the best part.

I’ve been to the real French Quarter and the only thing missing from the Disneyland version was the rank stench of day old booze. And drag queens.

Too bad -- those were the best part.

(KIDDING, of course. Everyone KNOWS the walk-in alcoholic 7-11ish slushie dispensers are the best part of N'awleans.... )

Watching someone ride a Segway is not unlike watching someone ride Space Mountain. Yeah, they’re having fun, but it’s not so much fun just to watch. Can I get on too? No soup for me.

Love the Seinfeldian humor here!

Actually, lovin' the whole report... Keep it comin'! And for heaven's sake, don't leave us hanging! You don't want to see a bunch of trip-report starved DISers go beserk -- it AIN'T pretty.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I have enjoyed your reports! It was a pleasant surprise to find a Disneyland trip report on this side. The Disneyland Trip Reports board is getting more traffic but I haven't seen one yet as amusing as yours! I am sorry you didn't like the food there, we love the food at Disneyland! But we think Chef Mickey's is also fine dining! Really cracked up at the part where you were twirling your napkin at Goofy's! Opposite experience for us Disneyland die hards the first time we did Chef Mickey's and kept waiting for them to crank up the music and dance!

 

[gopherit]

...And for heaven's sake, don't leave us hanging! You don't want to see a bunch of trip-report starved DISers go beserk -- it AIN'T pretty.

I meant this, you know, ZZUB -- where the HECK are you????!???

WE WANT THE REST OF THE STORY!

 

[Hermosa11]

GREAT reading!!! I truely am appreciating your writing talents!

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Seven: I thought we'd never finish this thing.

My daughter just came in the room. Well, not so much my daughter as Cinderella. She’s got the dress, the shoes, the gloves. You might recognize them as socks, but my industrious little girl has turned them into gloves. I’m not Daddy when she’s Cinderella; I’m Prince Charming. That cracks me up. No matter how much money we have spent on Disney, and believe me, we have spent PLENTY, it is worth it for moments like these. She’s not interested in watching tv, she wants to stretch her imagination and in her fantasy world, Daddy is Prince Charming. It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’ve had or how lousy I feel about my place in this world; I’m my little girl’s hero. That’s all right.

Our last few hours in Disneyland: The resort weren’t so magical. It reminded me of a trip to Disney World my wife and I took several years ago. We call that the “Try to Remember the Magic” trip. It was March of 1997, right in the middle of the seemingly never ending“It’s Time to Remember the Magic” promotion which came right before the Millennium Celebration and the 100 Years of Magic Celebration. We had our traditional dinner at Chef Mickey’s (yes, we were a childless couple who always ate at Chef Mickey’s. You got a problem with that?!) About halfway through dinner I wasn’t feeling too good. My wife asked me if I was feeling ok. I told her I was feeling weird. She said she thought something was wrong because I’d only eaten three helpings of Parmesan mashed potatoes. I’m a man who loves his food and a man who loves his money. Although I’ve never gotten my money’s worth at a buffet, I at least make a stab at it. So my infrequent trips to the potatoes and other assorted goodies was a tip to her that I was under the weather. She said she didn’t feel good either. After dinner we made our way back to the Magic Kingdom more out of obligation than desire. Like spending the holidays with family. In other words we went because we had to, not because we wanted to. We walked around the Emporium and bought new coffee mugs. Yeah, that’ll always make you feel better. Buy more over priced crap you’ll eventually sell to hapless patrons at your umpteenth yard sale.

We heard the warning for Spectromagic and decided we should watch it. Neither one of us could muster the strength to find a place to watch the parade. Do you know where we sat? Remember the side street that used to be on the left side of Mainstreet USA? The one they closed off with yet another store? We sat right there, on the sidewalk of the side street. That’s right. We didn’t even try to get close to Mainstreet. We were content to see the tops of the floats and the butts of everyone else. Such ambivalence was clear evidence of how poor we were feeling. Then I belched. I didn’t burp. I belched. And belched again. Loudly. It’s ok, it wasn’t gross or uncouth. There was a brightly lit, and hugely loud parade going by on the next street. No one but my wife was paying attention to me. I belched again. I encouraged her to do it. She did. Right from the diaphragm. And then she did it again, too. I was so proud of her and strangely aroused. Is that wrong?!

After I finished belching and my wife finished her solo performance, we both realized we felt better.

That’s right. We both had a bad case of gas. I don’t know where it came from, but it almost caused us to miss out on an evening in the Magic Kingdom. Which is why you should never hold in a belch. It could be disastrous.

Which really has nothing to do with anything except that was the previous bench mark for an un-magical time in a Disney park. The new standard is the last few hours we spent at Disneyland. And like the previous time in Disney World; our misery really had nothing to do with Disney itself. Or even Michael Eisner.

Moving on. My little girl was sick. Really sick. Not just fake sick like her apparently stupid parents were 7 years before. We got back to our rental car (which was not a white Chevy Malibu) and she threw up again. She didn’t so much as throw up as have a bad case of the dry heaves. The dry heaves suck. They are even worse when you’re watching your very sweet not-quite-3 year old daughter have them. Fortunately the heaves were short lived.

We got to the airport and returned our car and schlepped our ridiculous number of bags, a stroller and a car seat into the terminal. If the hours we spent that day at Disneyland were un-magical, the hours we spent in the airport were simply obnoxious. (Before I witnessed the horror of the Superdome unfold before me on the news this past week, I had been describing our airport experience as hellacious. However, having now watched people actually suffer through an unimaginable nightmare, I no longer feel comfortable engaging in such hyperbole. In the same way I stopped watching pseudo-reality survivor type shows after 9/11, I now feel compelled to be less frivolous in my complaints about run-of-the-mill inconveniences.)

Because we arrived at the airport three hours before our flight, there was no line to speak of at the check in counter. We approached one of the self-serve kiosks (am I the only one who thinks these things are really cool?) and proceeded to check in. Except I got distracted by my shoelaces and answered those tricky and evidently very effective terrorism preventing questions incorrectly. So Susie Helpershoes came to our “rescue.” By the way, it’s not like entering your pin number incorrectly at the grocery store. I couldn’t just hit cancel. No, Susie Helpershoes had to now check us in. And she had to ask us the ridiculous questions. Fortunately, we passed the oral exam. But not before Susie Helpershoes did everything in her considerable, even if self-created, power to annoy me. She asked if my not quite 3 year old daughter had ID. And she seemed genuinely surprised when we told her she didn’t.

“She left her driver’s license at home by mistake.”

Susie Helpershoes didn’t find that funny. I didn’t find her helpful so we were even.

In light of the Superdome horror, my experience at the check in counter was only mildly irritating, but at the time I found it to be completely vexing.

Because we had a luxury of time, there was no wait at security. We made our way through, put all our clothes back on and still had over 2 hours before our flight. We decided to eat some dinner. There was a full service restaurant in the terminal so we made our way over there to eat. Evidently the good people who cook the “food” at Disneyland also cook the “food” in this restaurant. But as bad as the food was, the service was even worse.

I can hear you now. “He’s complaining about poor service in an airport restaurant. What did he expect?!”

I expected at a minimum that a member of the wait staff would make periodic guest appearances at our table. We were sorely disappointed.

In all candor, at the time it seemed like a really bad day. However, post-Katrina, comparatively speaking, it wasn't all that bad. Katrina is still too real to me. I lived in the south for 10 years. I know people who lost their homes. I know people who have LITERALLY lost everything. It would be disrespectful to them and the very real nightmare they are enduring if I complained about bad food and equally bad service. Any one of the people treated like sub-humans at the Superdome would have gladly traded places with me. That is my new standard for suffering. Before I describe anything as a nightmare, horrible or hell-like, I will ask myself whether the people of New Orleans would have traded places with me. By this new standard, no one at Guantanamo Bay should complain either.

The upside of having bad service was that by the time dinner was done, we didn’t have that long to wait before our flight took off. Once we were on the plane and my daughter was snuggled up sound asleep in my wife’s lap, I began to take stock of our trip. Turns out we really enjoyed Disneyland.

That thought actually surprised me. I didn’t really expect to enjoy Disneyland. How could it possibly compare with the park I’ve grown up in? I really went expecting only to be mildly amused by it, but ultimately unfulfilled. Like eating at Wendy’s. Yes, it’s a hamburger but it’ll never be McDonald’s.

There are so many things about Disney World I really love, including but not limited to the gone-but-not-forgotten Zip-a-dee-doo-dah channel. No, Gopherit, I didn’t need the mindlessly stupid tips. Yes, it’s true Disney could have skipped past the painfully obvious tips (For more enjoyment at Disney World, go to the parks) in favor of the merely obvious (In order to enjoy the parks, you should first buy a ticket). But it’s not the “tips” I miss. It was the music. It was what the music reminded me of. And the origami. It reminded me of other times and other trips. It was a happy memory. Even now, when I’m listening to Live365.com and I hear that music, it makes me smile and it reminds me of so many trips, so many happy memories.

I’m admittedly nostalgic and I reckon to some degree if you’re reading this then you are too. You don’t return to Disney World year after year (some of you month after month) without having some affinity for it. And I suggest our love for Disney is informed, at least in part, by what it reminds us of. Why do we read Kevin Stringer's or Vettechick's or Delswife’s reports and enjoy them so much? Yes, they’re funny and yes they’re well written, but there is something else which makes these reports peerless. They touch at something we all feel on some level. No, I’ve never "boozed and grubbed" my way around Disney World, or cried when riding It’s a Small World (I’ve cried when I had to ride it) but I remember introducing my soon-to-be wife to the joy of Disney World. And I understand, at least I think I do, the feeling of connecting with a family member you love and miss. When your strongest and best memories from childhood are in Disney World, it’s natural to want to return to that place. Delswife has written that she returns to Disney World to visit her Dad and she knows that her kids one day will return to Disney World to visit her. I remember pausing the first time I read that to consider her words. She may not be the first person to express that thought, but she is the first person to express it so adroitly.

If Delswife goes to Disney World to visit her dad, then I suppose I go to Disney World to visit me. When I’m there I remember the best times of my childhood, before pimples and dating, before my parents divorced, before college and law school, student loans and the crushing reality of practice. I remember my sister when we were little and we thought staying at Days Inn was fun. And I remember her as an adult riding upside down in the cars at the Tomorrowland Speedway. I remember the unbelievable fun we’ve had with our families in Disney World. I remember my wife and the day-trip we took when were dating. I remember eating dinner at what was then King Stephan's Banquet Hall and going to the bathroom to double check the money in my wallet because I wasn't sure I had enough to pay for what turned out to be a much more expensive meal than I had planned. 10 years later, we still laugh about that trip and remember that day as one of the best days of our lives together. I remember the romantic trip we took in 2001 right before we found out she was pregnant. I remember standing in Art of Disney with my sweet wife, looking at a print of Mickey and Minnie and talking about how good it would look in our child’s nursery. Someday. We dreamed of what it would be like to one day bring our child to Disney World. What we didn’t know then but learned a week later was that my wife was already pregnant.

I remember my daughter. I remember the first time we took her to Disney World. I remember her hugging Mickey and kissing him on the nose. I remember her squealing when she saw the huge Puppies at All Star Movies. I remember having lunch alone with her in the food court. Just her and me. I remember her running back and forth between Buzz and Woody. I have a picture of her on my desk, standing in Andy’s room, her hair blowing like crazy in the wind. She’s squinting her eyes and smiling so big you can hear her squeal. I look at that picture and I take a 2 minute vacation because each time I look at it, I see her there and I’m still there with her.

I work too hard and I don’t spend enough time at home. I know that. I haven’t figured out how to fix that yet, but I know I need to find more time. I love Disney because there I get to laugh and enjoy my wife and daughter and I don’t think about deadlines and pressures. I don’t even think about money. Well not very much anyway. My wife says she loves me in Disney because I don’t know the word “no,” there. She wishes Disney World also had a Nordstrom.

Like many of you, I have a strong connection with Disney World. I didn’t know if I could make the same connection with Disneyland. Turns out I could. I really enjoyed the experience. It felt familiar and, with the exception of the “food,” it was a fantastic trip. Turns out the magic isn’t so much about Disney, it’s about being with my family and making and remembering great memories.

We enjoyed it so much that when we sat down to begin planning our vacation for our 10th anniversary, we seriously didn’t know whether we’d go to Disney World or Disneyland. That’s right, one trip to Disneyland: The Resort and we were seriously considering dumping the World for the Land. Before you rush to have me committed, it’s not like we were considering going to Magic Mountain or even Cancun; we were just contemplating one Disney Resort over another. There were a host of other considerations that were making Disneyland: The Resort more appealing and I confess, most of our early trip planning had us going there this fall.

And y’all know what happened next.

Don’t tell me Disney Marketing isn’t everywhere.

They must have spyware loaded onto my laptop because they clearly knew I was planning to go to Disneyland: The Resort for our vacation. They knew if we went to Disneyland: The Resort, we’d stay off-property and based on our previous experience with the lousy food, probably schedule at least one meal a day out of the parks. They knew they needed to get me to Florida in order to fulfill their budgeted allotment of Zzub money for fiscal 2005.

So what did they do? They initiated Free Dining at Disney World.

They might as well have called the package the: Lure the Zzub Family to Disney World Package. It worked. Free Food = Zzub. When I first saw this package announced, I ran numerous calculations and created various different spread sheets. No matter how I ran the numbers, I could not come up with any better savings available to us. (I’m not so much a nerd as I enjoy doing that kind of math. You do too, stop judging me! Gosh!) I briefly contemplated buying an annual pass but then Disney screwed with the system and it just seemed like too much work anymore. Free Dinning for the Zzub’s became our plan.

But you know, and so do I that no matter how much money I think we’re “saving,” we’re still going to spend more in Disney World then we would at Disneyland. But at least for this trip, that’s ok with me.

Because we’ll be together and we’ll have fun.

And we’ll remember.