The Bates Family (18 kids)

[Michelle67]

I don't know anything about this family, and neither does anybody else here, really, other than that some know what is shown on television, which is an entertainment venue edited to show and focus on what they choose to show. But these threads always seem to bring up some prejudices that bother me.

I guess I have a different perspective on all of this because my husband is one of twelve children. They were miraculously raised without health insurance, and without public assistance. They didn't have any big slush fund to take care of emergencies. They lived paycheck to paycheck. My FIL worked hard all his life to support his family, and paid their bills. Yes, if one of the kids got very sick or had an accident, then there was a huge bill that was going to have to be paid somehow, a little at a time. Yes, they sometimes struggled to make ends meet. (But then, the same can often be said of parents with only one or two children) I guess some would say that my ILs had no right to have those children, since they couldn't cover everything/anything that could possibly happen. Personally, I'm glad they did, since my husband was one of the last and is a treasure whom I am very grateful to have in my life. The vast majority of his siblings have grown up to be terrific, productive members of society (a couple have gotten into some trouble along the way, but that again can also be said of only-children sometimes). They have great work ethics, and know how to be self-sufficient and live within their means. They know you have to work for what you want, and that even working hard doesn't mean you're always going to get what you want. They know how to fix and make do, instead of throw away and buy new. They learned a lot of very valuable lessons from growing up on a tight budget with a lot of other people's needs besides their own to consider.

Why do some people assume that if your family is large you must be a leech on society, raising a bunch of other leeches? Isn't that just as wrong as assuming that just because some people have only one child, that child MUST be an obnoxious, spoiled brat who is never disciplined and thinks the entire world revolves around them?

 

[HelenePA]

I only know one quiverfull family (and no not me) my friend who I grad. HS with.. she only has 5 kids. They own their own pizza business and I assume they are making good money with it. I dont think they get any kind of gov assistance but I haven't come out and asked because its none of my damn business and I really dont care either.

 

[LisaR]

I've done a little more reading online and it really does seem like they do not get any government assistance. Good for them! Not the lifestyle I would want to live but if they are happy (heck, even if they aren't) it isn't my business. It only becomes my business if I am paying for it and I don't believe that is the case.

 

[Michelle67]

There are plenty of things to be ticked off about paying for. I'm not thrilled with paying the government to produce biological weapons. I'd much rather pay for a child to have a necessary surgery, personally.

 

[kwelch10377]

If he is showing up and using free hospital care we are all paying. And or any clinics, etc

But how do you know he is using it for free and that he isn't being billed and then paying the bills?

I don't know either way myself, but I am not going to make an assumption either way just based on what he said on the program. All he said was that they don't have insurance however without insurance hospitals are required to treat them. He didn't say that they are required to treat them for free.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

The Bates family has been on the Duggar show a lot, they get together several times a year. I can answer a few questions from reading up on the Bates'.

Most of their children have been born at home, with the use of a midwife. Midwives typically provide prenatal and postnatal care.

They do not have health insurance but like the Duggars, they negotiate cash prices. They've done their homework and probably research the fact that most insurances negotiate the payment down. The Bates' cut out the middle man and negotiate a fee directly with the hospital.

I would assume they do not vaccinate their kids. I know the Duggars don't and since they believe to the same church philosophy, I would safely bet the kids aren't vaccinated.

I watched an episode of the Duggars where they addressed the financial part of their large family. They negotiate the price of everything! They are actually quite savvy when it comes to business. Many times they will trade services too. I know that when the Duggars had a big storm come the Bates family came and helped cut down trees. Then the Duggars went to TN(??) to the Bates house when they were doing a big expansion. Which the Bates father talked about negotiating the cost of the supplies for the addition.

I'm actually quite amazed by both families and I told DH the other day, I would love to hang out with them for a while just to see how the family runs on a daily basis. We have what some would consider a large family with 4 kids and there are days when I can't get any of them moving in the same direction at the same time.

 

[HelenePA]

I know! I have 4 and I wonder how they have a house that doesn't look like a bomb went off in it filled with toys.. like my living room looks like right now.. legos are everywhere, its also dark and those sucker hurt when you walk on them!

 

[bumbershoot]

At one point they were asked what they did if any of the kids had a medical emergency. The father said they don't have insurance but they can go to any hospital and they will have to treat them. Later in the show, they are asked how they make ends meet. The father makes a big point out of saying that they do not accept help from the government. Ummmmm..........isn't free healthcare for 20 people taking from the government or am I missing something?

The question was asked about an emergency, not regular visits. And he didn't say, as someone else mentioned, that he then doesn't pay; just that they'll treat them.

I'm glad you looked further into it. But did want to make the point that the question was only asked about emergencies.

 

[Nature Mom]

The Bates family has been on the Duggar show a lot, they get together several times a year. I can answer a few questions from reading up on the Bates'.

Most of their children have been born at home, with the use of a midwife. Midwives typically provide prenatal and postnatal care.

They do not have health insurance but like the Duggars, they negotiate cash prices. They've done their homework and probably research the fact that most insurances negotiate the payment down. The Bates' cut out the middle man and negotiate a fee directly with the hospital.

I would assume they do not vaccinate their kids. I know the Duggars don't and since they believe to the same church philosophy, I would safely bet the kids aren't vaccinated.

I watched an episode of the Duggars where they addressed the financial part of their large family. They negotiate the price of everything! They are actually quite savvy when it comes to business. Many times they will trade services too. I know that when the Duggars had a big storm come the Bates family came and helped cut down trees. Then the Duggars went to TN(??) to the Bates house when they were doing a big expansion. Which the Bates father talked about negotiating the cost of the supplies for the addition.

I'm actually quite amazed by both families and I told DH the other day, I would love to hang out with them for a while just to see how the family runs on a daily basis. We have what some would consider a large family with 4 kids and there are days when I can't get any of them moving in the same direction at the same time.

I was going to say almost everything you did. Totally agree with you on everything. I find both the Duggar and Bates families inspiring. They don't believe in debt, they pay for everything and live within their means. They believe in the family bond, and those kids are all intelligent and well-mannered. I have followed the Duggars (with the Bates) since the time when they only had like 13 kids or so. There are even some things Michelle Duggar wrote about in a magazine article a long time ago that is part of my own family now, and has been for quite a while (rotating chore charts, an Ebay basket and date night every other week). Fame hasn't gone to their head, they are just as grounded as they were the first time I read about them, and I think they live a good life...a happy life full of love. That is a GOOD life, to me at least.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I know! I have 4 and I wonder how they have a house that doesn't look like a bomb went off in it filled with toys.. like my living room looks like right now.. legos are everywhere, its also dark and those sucker hurt when you walk on them!

LOL reminds me of a saying on pinterest.
When someone makes me mad I say "I hope you step on a lego."
Yes, my house looks like tornado alley daily! There are days when I wonder just how many kids I have! I swear today alone I picked up the same toy 20 times. The last time, I just left it there.

I was going to say almost everything you did. Totally agree with you on everything. I find both the Duggar and Bates families inspiring. They don't believe in debt, they pay for everything and live within their means. They believe in the family bond, and those kids are all intelligent and well-mannered. I have followed the Duggars (with the Bates) since the time when they only had like 13 kids or so. There are even some things Michelle Duggar wrote about in a magazine article a long time ago that is part of my own family now, and has been for quite a while (rotating chore charts, an Ebay basket and date night every other week). Fame hasn't gone to their head, they are just as grounded as they were the first time I read about them, and I think they live a good life...a happy life full of love. That is a GOOD life, to me at least.

We also do the rotating chore chart and I try to take the kids out on date nights when we can. I fact today I took DS15 to the book store alone. Not easy, but thankfully my parents live next door so I can drop the others off there. We also do the buddy system when we go out. I feel better knowing my 9 year old is holding hands with my 15 year old when we are crossing roads and what not.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Well if the show continues, I never saw it nor know anything about it. They will be making alot of money. Doing these shows they also pay for alot of things for the family. If the duggars are so self sufficant then why do the show for money?

 

[SandrA9810]

Well if the show continues, I never saw it nor know anything about it. They will be making alot of money. Doing these shows they also pay for alot of things for the family. If the duggars are so self sufficant then why do the show for money?

Probably their 15 minutes of fame. They seemed to be on Good Morning America and other talk shows before the television show came along.

John and Kate plus 8 seemed to have big issues with being on the show, the kids in front of the camera, and the money being made from it. They also seemed to receive a lot of "donations" and gifts from the publicity, which seems like they feel they're entitled to it now. Like a couple years after the kids were born, some doctor half way across the country gave her a free tummy tuck because of the excess skin. Not just the diapers and a few meals, but big money items. You could also tell their lifestyle changed with all the money. I know John was into a sector of the computer world, IT tech or something, but their lifestyle changed way faster than the average person's salary increase.

The Duggars on the other hand seem to live a far different lifestyle. Money is not the object of the show. But I guess they see it as a way to get their belief and views out there. Their shopping trips are still at local thrift shops, every one winds up with a hand-me-down, and from what I've read, the girls are pretty good with sewing. It's more amazing to see how they can stretch a dollar rather than those extreme couponers save a dollar.


As far as medical, there's actually quite a bit of offices that will work with patients with cash payments. More likely give them a discount, just so they don't have to pay some one else to fill out all the paper work for insurance.
Like say you go to the dentist for a cavity filling. Normally costs a $100, most insurance companies cover it with say a $20 co-pay. If they don't have to jump through insurance hoops, they might be willing to work with you and charge you only $50 if you pay in full up front. Because after they pay some one to do the paper work for it, they might only be getting around $70 from the insurance company.

 

[Michelle67]

The doctor's office that my family uses offers a 40% cash discount if you pay in full at the time of service. My dentist offers 20%, and will stretch out the "at the time of service" for a week or so until payday if you need him to.

 

[java]

Probably their 15 minutes of fame. They seemed to be on Good Morning America and other talk shows before the television show
The Duggars on the other hand seem to live a far different lifestyle. Money is not the object of the show. But I guess they see it as a way to get their belief and views out there. Their shopping trips are still at local thrift shops, every one winds up with a hand-me-down, and from what I've read, the girls are pretty good with sewing.
.

Did you see the Duggars swanky new rv? Someone is getting paid.

I think they only thing that bothered me about the show was at the retreat,when the girls got to sing songs about housework. It seemed kind of cultish? But if it works for them I suppose. And with the oldest son paying for things, that just made me think about what a generous and mature young man he was.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Did you see the Duggars swanky new rv? Someone is getting paid.

I think they only thing that bothered me about the show was at the retreat,when the girls got to sing songs about housework. It seemed kind of cultish? But if it works for them I suppose. And with the oldest son paying for things, that just made me think about what a generous and mature young man he was.

The bus?

It was bought used with cash.

They are very thrifty. They outgrew a motorhome and had bought a used bus that once belong to a college team. Then came
Across this bus. They had an episode where they covered it. JimBob was scoping out some deals after the Nashville floods and was looking at some advertised busses that had minor flood damage. Then he came across their current bus that was for sale at comparable pricing with no flood damage, I believe.

Not really sure what your "swanky rv" comment means. But it isn't a million dollar rv or similar if that is what you are implying.

 

[java]

The bus?

It was bought used with cash.

They are very thrifty. They outgrew a motorhome and had bought a used bus that once belong to a college team. Then came
Across this bus. They had an episode where they covered it. JimBob was scoping out some deals after the Nashville floods and was looking at some advertised busses that had minor flood damage. Then he came across their current bus that was for sale at comparable pricing with no flood damage, I believe.

Not really sure what your "swanky rv" comment means. But it isn't a million dollar rv or similar if that is what you are implying.

Did you see the show last night?No the one in the primetime show last night was a tricked out RV not a used bus. It may have been a used RV but it was definitely a big step up from the bus.

 

[kidshop]

The bus?

It was bought used with cash.

They are very thrifty. They outgrew a motorhome and had bought a used bus that once belong to a college team. Then came
Across this bus. They had an episode where they covered it. JimBob was scoping out some deals after the Nashville floods and was looking at some advertised busses that had minor flood damage. Then he came across their current bus that was for sale at comparable pricing with no flood damage, I believe.

Not really sure what your "swanky rv" comment means. But it isn't a million dollar rv or similar if that is what you are implying.

They are getting paid very well by TLC to showcase the lives of their children on TV. I don't watch and haven't for years. I was really turned off when they aired their very ill preemie's struggle...no difference than Kate + 8 in that regard. They are taking money and displaying their children. They don't need to be thrifty anymore.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

The Duggars are definitely getting paid for the show, but they still "buy used and save the difference", they are still thrifty. Sure, they are able to buy a swanky bus, but it was still used. With the money they make I'm sure they could afford to buy a brand new rockstar bus if they wanted, but instead they choose to buy used.

 

[princessmom29]

Don't care for the lifestyle and don't care for either family. Tehre are so amny things wrong with what they are donig I cannot even begin, but, I have aproblem with the whjole tv thing mostly because they are capitalizing off of thier kids via a tv show when they disavow the "corrupting influence" of the media. Seems more than a little hypocritical to me. They claim to be evangelical Christians, but it is ok to make money off something they believe to be a crrupting influence.

 

[LisaR]

Don't care for the lifestyle and don't care for either family. Tehre are so amny things wrong with what they are donig I cannot even begin, but, I have aproblem with the whjole tv thing mostly because they are capitalizing off of thier kids via a tv show when they disavow the "corrupting influence" of the media. Seems more than a little hypocritical to me. They claim to be evangelical Christians, but it is ok to make money off something they believe to be a crrupting influence.

Again, I am not an expert on these families but from the little I have read there is a big difference between the Duggars and the Bates. The Duggars have a TV show where they are followed around at every moment. I view that as exploiting their children. Some may disagree but that is my feeling. Someone correct me if I am wrong but the Bates family does not have a TV show. They have made a few appearances on some shows but they don't have cameras in their faces 24/7 exploiting their children. If that is the case, I have more respect for the Bates family.

I thought their lifestyle was fascinating. Nothing I would ever do but still fascinating. They seem to truly love their kids and the kids seem to be very well behaved and mature. I did not like that the oldest boy had the forethought to start his own business but he is constantly loaning money out to siblings and parents to make ends meets. I would never expect my children to fund their siblings and us because we kept having more children than we were capable of supporting.

The only other thing I had an issue with was when they made a statement that it was God that decided if they should have more children; they wouldn't interfere with what God had planned for them. However, they didn't have any problems giving the wife hormones to build up her chances of having a viable pregnancy because her uterine lining was too thin because of all the births. In my opinion, this was God telling them that they were done having babies. I understand the reasoning that they wouldn't take a pill to end a pregnancy because that is killing a life in their eyes. I don't understand how they don't see that by taking drugs to build up her uterine lining, she is screwing with mother nature and God's plan. Many people do the same thing but most don't preach about God's plan and contradict that plan by taking hormones.