Hey there my dear dear friends, boy have I missed you all

........I am sure that you were starting to wonder where I have been........This past weekend was much much harder for me then I guess I was prepared for, and it took A LOT out of me. I took some time this week to just reflect on some things...........to take a deep breath, and to figure out where I was in my healing..........I wish I could say I have some answers, I don't, but I think that is OK.......it will take the time it takes....I guess that it was just a lot from my mom to my godmother and then to Becky.....all different ages, all different causes, and all very important strong women in my life.
Our beautiful and brave friend Becky's Celebration of Life service on Saturday was amazing. It was so very powerful and perfect, and Becky's spirit was strong in that room......but it was just so hard, and heartbreaking, seeing her children and parents, her brothers, and their families, and of course her dear husband David, who was just so strong. There was no crying, but there also wasn't a dry eye in the house either. The hardest part I felt was when we were leaving the church.....it was just a moment of "now what" and when I said it to others leaving with us, they felt the same way.
Sunday was a bag of mixed emotions for me the 1st mothers day without my own mother to call, though I did "talk" to her.....and then of course my baby boys 11th birthday....Thank goodness it fell on Mother's day this year, a place to focus my thoughts..........my dad called first thing when he woke up to say Happy mother's day to me, (which was so sweet) and then he sang Happy b-day to Ross.....It was a fun day we went to an amusement park, and I know my mom would have wanted us to go and celebrate Ross' day with happiness and not tears and make great memories....so that is what I did.
I guess I am just starting to really feel the loss....I think I have been in a daze and it is wearing off....all part of the healing process I am sure.....I just feel like an open wound....I am sure Becky's passing and service had some effect on how this next stage of grief...............
Anywho....

what a downer of a post this has been...for those still reading, lol........I would be sick of me by now too....heck, I AM some days
I will not even attempt to catch up.I did do a very quick skim, but gave up....Ross did see the b-day wishes and Kat he LOVED the dog one!!

I hope that everyone is doing well.....I have had you all in my thoughts this past week..........I will be back on here like normal.....I have missed all of you soooo much!!!
NOW for our title reason.......Supper tonight was tacos and my mex rice dish on the side.
My dad will be here a week from Sunday and I am really looking forward to getting him here to take care of!