The " 7 Year Itch"?... think it is real?

[Papa Deuce]

Poll coming.....

I guess for some it is. Not for me, though. I love my wife just about the same now as I did when we were married. I'm not a "soulmate" kinda guy, so I don't attribute the lack of an itch for me to having a "Soulmate".

 

[JennaTX]

I think that everyone gets an "itch" at some point in their marriage. Now whether they act on it or not is completely different! But I think that there is a point where everything gets ho-hum, and then you are more open to the "itch"!

 

[Stacerita]

I think that everyone gets an "itch" at some point in their marriage. Now whether they act on it or not is completely different! But I think that there is a point where everything gets ho-hum, and then you are more open to the "itch"!

Yep, I agree. Everyone gets the "itch", but what matters if they act on it or not. Now, is there a 7 year itch?.....that I dont know. But I swear, Ive dated someone who had the 2 month itch.

 

[Charade]

My ex had a 15 year itch and kept itching.

 

[Stacerita]

Now why exactly do they call it an "itch"? I know what they mean by "itch", but why? When I hear "itch" it always makes think STD.

 

[nwdisgal]

I think in this case it just means a restlessness. For some reason, the seven year mark is the average when a lot of couples experience this feeling. I'm sure there is even some psychology behind it. Fortunately, I can't even remember what happened at 7 years in my marriage at this point.... Oh yah, we had our DD about that time. Well it couldn't have been too bad.

 

[FreshTressa]

Now why exactly do they call it an "itch"? I know what they mean by "itch", but why? When I hear "itch" it always makes think STD.

Hehe...I guess you might get a real itch if you give into your itch!!!

 

[DVC Sadie]

I think that a lot of people just become complacent and take their spouse for granted. Itchy, I don't know, bored most likely. Sad, definately.

 

[caitycaity]

I think that everyone gets an "itch" at some point in their marriage. Now whether they act on it or not is completely different! But I think that there is a point where everything gets ho-hum, and then you are more open to the "itch"!

i agree. i would be lying if i said i had never been tempted before.

 

[Stitchfans]

We are well past that point. (7 yr) but IMO I can't imagine either one of us ever getting the itch. not after all we have been through together.

 

[cepmom]

when you say "itch", do you mean tempted to seek an affair or feeling something for someone other than your spouse? Or just not feeling the same love as in the begininng?

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't recall feeling any "itch" at 7 years, or any other years for that matter. I have a great DH, so I've been pretty happy right along.

I think for some people, maybe the 7 year thing is when the newlyweddedness has worn off, maybe you have bought a house and started a family and so the "grind" years are starting where you're going to be working to pay the mortgage, raise the kids, run around, and at the same tim you are becoming more "comfortable" with your spouse, maybe there are not always all those "fireworks" there were in the early years, so you start to think "Hmm...maybe there is something better out there".

 

[MzDiz]

I read somewhere that the seven year mark is approximately how long it took our cave-dwelling ancestors to raise one child to an age of limited independance and begin looking for another mate. Who knows.

 

[Trish Bessette]

No itch nor even a scratch with me

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

My best friend is going through this now. Her DH asked her for a divorce, his reason was that they are more like good roomates. They have been married for 8 years and have a 2 year old son. 2 days before he asked for the divorce, he was nice enough to convince her to quit her crappy job saying that they can live on his salary for awhile. Talk about total shock for her.

 

[EthansMom]

Oops, double post.

 

[EthansMom]

I don't know if it can be traced to 7 years with any precision, but I know lots of people who've gotten divorced because they've convinced themselves that the grass really is greener on the other side. And it very rarely is.

Between mine and DH's parents, there are a whopping 8 marriages. Sure, a couple of the marriages ended for some pretty legitimate reasons, but in most cases, the spouses got bored and/or complacent and no one wanted to put in the effort and energy to work on their relationship.

Most of the folks I know aren't any happier single or with their current spouse than they were with their last spouse. And that includes the one or two folks I know who scratched their "itch".

It's easy for someone new to seem more attractive than your current SO because you haven't been exposed to all of the faults of the new person -- never watched them trim their toenails on your bed cover and not clean up the clippings, never fought over who gets the remote control or who needs to change the litter box, and all of the little annoying things that go on in a long-term intimate relationship. It's only after someone's really hosed things up with their SO#1 that they find out SO#2 has at least as many faults as SO#1.

DH and I have an agreement that we'll at least show each other the respect to discuss any "itchiness" before getting "scratched".

 

[Jynohn]

DH was deployed during our 7th year of marriage. Maybe that was a good thing. He's in an infantry unit so no women around.