Thanksgiving by ourselves?

[Camster0307]

Ok, so I've been divorced for a few years now; have primary custody of my two daughters - 13 & 11. We live far from family and therefore only spend every other Thanksgiving together. This year, no family is coming to visit. We have plenty of wonderful friends who've invited us to spend the holiday with them. My daughters want to stay home - even if we're by ourselves. They are quite sentimental about tradition(like their mom!) and,since we always had Thanksgiving at our house, that's where they want to keep it. They love watching the parade in the morning and helping with the meal preparations throughout the day. My friends are afraid we'll be miserable and insist that we should not be alone; and as their mother, I should make that decision for them.

Personally, I do like being around alot of people for the holidays; but if my girls are content with just the three of us, that's fine with me! What do you think?

 

[Christine]

As long as *you* are also okay with it, I would stay home.

But if you really enjoy getting out with friends and the girls aren't uncomfortable at said friends' homes, then I don't think it would hurt to say "Mom needs to get out with some people for a bit" either. But nothing wrong with staying home all day.

 

[SpecialK]

Stay home. Prepare your meal together, watch the parade, relax. I think it sounds like a great day. Your daughters obviously appreciate the spirit of Thanksgiving - enjoy!

 

[Evil Genius]

It could be a great day. Spend the day with your kids. Go to a museum or zoo if you want. If not stay home watching videos or playing board games. You might start a new tradition

 

[mickeyboat]

Last year was one of the nicest Thanksgivings our family ever had. It was just me, DH and the kids. It was so relaxing to be able to do the meal on our own scheudule, with our own menu, and not have to worry about anyone else.

I am sure you will have a great holiday no matter what you decide to do.

Denae

 

[DVCLiz]

I always do Thanksgiving for my two daughters (this year 19 and almost 14) when it's my year to have them (we do Thanksgiving and Easter every other year). We love Thanskgiving and enjoy cooking together and being a family. We have all the traditional touches - a big turkey, stuffing and gravy, cranberry sauce, carrot and celery sticks, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, lima beans, corn, rolls, ice tea, and pumpkin pie and ice cream for dessert.

We use my best china and their grandmother's silver and crystal. We also get out and polish the silver goblets for ice water. I wouldn't dream of not doing it up big just because there are three of us - one year I did a 22 pound fresh turkey!!! We got sick of the leftovers that year...

If we wanted to we could be included at any number of tables, including their dad and stepmom's with a dozen or more extended family members, but the girls really want to be at my house so that is what we are doing!!!! See you on the cranberry sauce aisle!!

 

[NMAmy]

My dd was 8 when her dad and I divorced. The kid is a huge stickler for tradition--even now at 17. And when I divorced, I lived far away from all family so it was just the two of us and we had a blast.

If this is what your kids want, then do it for them. They're old enough to know what they'd like to do.

Perhaps add a new tradition--dd and I began a tradition that we had in my family growing up. We began going to a movie on Thanksgiving Day and also on Christmas Day. It got us out around people but with no social pressure.

Enjoy and have a great holiday! ETA: Just because it's the three of you, it won't be miserable! I'm guessing they are your two favorite people in the world, right?

 

[kdibattista]

I think it sounds like a great day!!!

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

When I was growing up it was just me and my dad. We lived 12 hours away from any family. We spent SO MANY Thanksgivings and Xmases with just the 2 of us, and it was just great! I have very special memories of all those holidays.

 

[Robinrs]

Anytime kids that age want to be with you, take advantage of it!!

My family used to be HUGE... I mean my parents held the Thanksgiving of Life.. over 20 people per table...

I miss those days.

My parents both died, so have most of my aunts and uncles, Michael's fathers' family all but ignores us and all I have in town are my sister and niece so we're all going to Savannah to a GOD FORBID restaurant for dinner!!

First time in 51 years without my extended family. Well, I have my big boy, 14, and that's my family right there. It's gonna be a great holiday.

Enjoy!! I had to remember my parents started with just them, too. You give your kids the traditions that they will pass on to their kids.

God bless.

 

[debbiedoo]

I would stay at home, your girls seem to be ok with that, make a day out of it with them

watch parade, have Thanksgiving, and I would pick a good holiday movie afterwards

 

[Mermaid02]

The three of you should spend the day together. Watch the parade cook dinner, enjoy it... clean up... have dessert... watch Miracle on 34th street... sounds fabulous to me.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

Do it!! It will be so much more relaxing! DH and I go out to lunch with my Mom. It's so nice! No cooking, no pressure, no need to make small talk with people, etc... My extended family gets together for Christmas and we have a blast, so it's not not like I don't enjoy the family. It's nice to have a quiet holiday and be thankful we can choose to do so!

 

[minnieandme]

I would stay at home, your girls seem to be ok with that, make a day out of it with them

watch parade, have Thanksgiving, and I would pick a good holiday movie afterwards

That's what I would do too. And since it's just 3 of you, there's less cleanup afterwards.

 

[What the Heck]

Some of my most fond memories of Thanksgiving are from when it was just me and the kids. Enjoy the time with them, watch the parade, watch a movie with them (we liked Miracle on 34th - the original of course ). For me, Thanksgiving is best with family. Before and after can be spent with friends, but the actual Thanksgiving day - family.

 

[Camster0307]

Thanks for all your responses. In my gut, I knew I just wanted to stay home with my girls also. Friends were just making me second-guess!

It's funny how so many suggested watching or going to a holiday movie. Actually we do both - started that tradition the first year my ex split. The girls and I go out to dinner the night before turkey day (because I don't feel like cooking) and then see the latest holiday release. This year we'll be seeing "Enchanted." And after dinner on Thanksgiving, we watch "The Santa Clause". The girls prefer that one over "Miracle..." ;they think Tim Allen is a hoot!

 

[mtemm]

I'm west of boston, too!

I think your plan is great, personally. I know everyone is being very sweet inviting you, and I think that's wonderful you have such nice people around you, but I completely understand wanting to stay in your own home, have your own traditions. h and i hosted all holidays from the time we married 10 years ago. one of our favorite memories was when we lived in upstate ny and had just had the twins and everyone (usually h's family) that normally came suggested they do something else that year, since we were so busy. h happily took them up on it, so it was just he and I, our 2 year old, and 6 month old twins. we made the whole meal, had a great day, and the next day drove out to the baseball hall of fame (not far for us). such a nice weekend. quiet, but fun.

h moved out this summer and this is my first year separated, so lots of changes for us on this front. its something I've given a lot of thought to, actually.

I gave h thanksgiving this year when I figured out the holiday schedule, but I get christmas eve/christmas morning. I am sure people will say that we should go somewhere, etc, but I really want to spend both of those with my kids in my own home. its going to be hard not having h there, but I think it will be okay, and I look forward to continuing some traditions/starting new ones.

wishing you a wonderful thanksgiving! enjoy your girls.

 

[NMAmy]

Thanks for all your responses. In my gut, I knew I just wanted to stay home with my girls also. Friends were just making me second-guess!

It's funny how so many suggested watching or going to a holiday movie.

When I was young, we had big holiday gatherings with many of my parents' friends and our family. There were a lot of kids underfoot all day and once I got my driver's license, my mom decided that I should take all the kids to the movies to get us OUT. I continued it with dd when we were at loose ends.

I'm glad you decided to go with your gut. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

 

[Camster0307]

I'm west of boston, too!

I think your plan is great, personally. I know everyone is being very sweet inviting you, and I think that's wonderful you have such nice people around you, but I completely understand wanting to stay in your own home, have your own traditions. h and i hosted all holidays from the time we married 10 years ago. one of our favorite memories was when we lived in upstate ny and had just had the twins and everyone (usually h's family) that normally came suggested they do something else that year, since we were so busy. h happily took them up on it, so it was just he and I, our 2 year old, and 6 month old twins. we made the whole meal, had a great day, and the next day drove out to the baseball hall of fame (not far for us). such a nice weekend. quiet, but fun.

h moved out this summer and this is my first year separated, so lots of changes for us on this front. its something I've given a lot of thought to, actually.

I gave h thanksgiving this year when I figured out the holiday schedule, but I get christmas eve/christmas morning. I am sure people will say that we should go somewhere, etc, but I really want to spend both of those with my kids in my own home. its going to be hard not having h there, but I think it will be okay, and I look forward to continuing some traditions/starting new ones.

wishing you a wonderful thanksgiving! enjoy your girls.

And a wonderful holiday to you too! The first one is always the hardest, but believe me, it DOES get easier!

 

[jordansmomma]

I'm west of boston, too!

I think your plan is great, personally. I know everyone is being very sweet inviting you, and I think that's wonderful you have such nice people around you, but I completely understand wanting to stay in your own home, have your own traditions. h and i hosted all holidays from the time we married 10 years ago. one of our favorite memories was when we lived in upstate ny and had just had the twins and everyone (usually h's family) that normally came suggested they do something else that year, since we were so busy. h happily took them up on it, so it was just he and I, our 2 year old, and 6 month old twins. we made the whole meal, had a great day, and the next day drove out to the baseball hall of fame (not far for us). such a nice weekend. quiet, but fun.

h moved out this summer and this is my first year separated, so lots of changes for us on this front. its something I've given a lot of thought to, actually.

I gave h thanksgiving this year when I figured out the holiday schedule, but I get christmas eve/christmas morning. I am sure people will say that we should go somewhere, etc, but I really want to spend both of those with my kids in my own home. its going to be hard not having h there, but I think it will be okay, and I look forward to continuing some traditions/starting new ones.

wishing you a wonderful thanksgiving! enjoy your girls.

The first set of holidays is the worst. But my kids and I have started traditions of our own. We always go to the movies on Thanksgiving. its quiet, not too crowed and a great way to relax after cooking and clean up.