Thanksgiving as a guest question

[Captainkidd76]

Just curious what others think. If you invite family over for Thanksgiving (or any holiday for that matter), do you ask them to bring anything? I was asked to bring 3 different items. Maybe it's just personal preference, but if I decide to have a lunch or party or something at my house, I wouldn't ask people to bring anything.

Opinions?

 

[Floridaman999]

It completely depends on the event for me and my family. We do potluck style get-togethers where everyone brings a side, dessert or drink item and the main course is supplied by the host. We also do events where everything is covered by the host. My answer would be either/or for this one.

 

[dish rag]

I don't ask people to bring things but I could never go empty handed. And wouldn't. Maybe they can't afford it all. Maybe you could do Christmas or next thanksgiving and handle the whole thing.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

In my circle isn't perfectly normal for people to insist on bringing things, totally fine.

But...I can't remember the last time I outright asked someone to bring something.
If it's family, imo, that's what family's for, to share, us ladies get together and chat about what to we want the menu to be, and if one person wants to make/bring that item they pipe up and say they are brining it.

I don't think its a faux pass to ask a guest to bring something simple but worded in a way that's optional - Don't forget to bring that bottle of wine you really liked or something to that effect.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

If I’m hosting I always handle all the food and drink myself. The family gatherings held at everyone else’s house are potluck, so we take a dish or two to those. (We’re never assigned anything specific, just told to bring “something.”) Gatherings at friends houses have varied over the years depending on the who, what, and why involved.

 

[Captainkidd76]

I don't ask people to bring things but I could never go empty handed. And wouldn't. Maybe they can't afford it all. Maybe you could do Christmas or next thanksgiving and handle the whole thing.

I would and I have. If people ask if they can bring anything, I'd be like "Sure, if you want to bring a pie." I was asked to bring rolls, cider and a veggie platter. I mean, obviously I'm going to do it, but I think it's weird. Reminds me of an episode of Married...With Children. Al invites Steve and Marcy over for a Labor Day BBQ. Steve asks what they can bring and Al says "Oh, just some food, drinks, plates, silverware and leave the rest to me."

 

[LovesTimone]

With my family or group of friends, everyone ask what can I bring... Then its up to me to say, thanks could you bring ___________ /or whatever, or Thanks I got it all. With Thanksgiving meals they tend to be on the higher priced for large gatherings, plus adding in how many can get very costly quickly, plus the storage of all these extra dishes. Plus it give some variety to the gathering. If a hostess ask's me to bring a couple of dishes, I am perfectly fine with it and see nothing wrong with it, and I like the thought of helping out and chipping in.

Even if we are going to a party or gathering, even though the host or hostess said not to bring anything, I always take a hostess gift, not for that meal but for them to enjoy later on... bottle of wine, flowers, some homemade goodies.

 

[anniemae]

We are going to my Aunts house this year for Thanksgiving. She sent out a group email inviting everyone and asked if people could bring a dessert, appetizer or drinks. Everyone replied saying what they were bringing. Many were brining desserts and soda/wine, so I opted to bring an appetizer. This is just how we do it.

If I was not asked to bring something, I would ask. But that's just the way I was raised. The host then has the choice of taking me up on my offer or not.

If I was hosting Thanksgiving I do ask family to bring things. If I didn't ask, they would call and ask what they could bring. It's just the way it's done in my family. If I am hosting some friends to come over for a random Saturday night dinner, I do not ask them to bring anything. Holidays with family though, we all pitch in.

 

[CdnCarrie]

My family always does potluck style for all big holiday meals on both my side and my husband's.

We also rotate who's hosting. It's a lot of work to host 20 people!

 

[amberpi]

I can NOT show up empty handed, and with a couple of bottles of wine. Hell, this year, I'm thinking I may make a couple of unasked for sides that are part of my traditions that I want to share It doesn't seem like Thanksgiving for me without butternut squash for instance, would be the same. If no one else enjoys it, NBD, but man, I'm struggling with it not being on the table as it's one of my faves.

 

[Floridaman999]

I do always bring a bottle or two of wine though.

 

[marthachick]

We always have dinners at Mom’s house but at 75, we don’t expect her to cook everything for the twenty something of us that show up. We usually start a Facebook chat and add everyone and everyone lists what they will bring.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Different families have different traditions. We were talking at work yesterday about all the different ways we handle Thanksgiving - some set a traditional table and pass the food while others set up a buffet. In some families, the women serve everyone, and in others, everyone serves themselves. In some, everything is cooked at the host's house, and in other's, everyone contributes.

It sounds like you were assigned the "pick up quickly at the store" items rather than the ones where you would be spending a lot of time in the kitchen. I'd be perfectly happy with that!

 

[cinnaminny]

I think it really depends. I ask my mom to bring her dressing, because its amazing, and she loves to add to it. But I supply everything else. Its fun for me and I can afford to do it. Not everyone has the time to make everything or the money to supply a huge dinner for multiple people. Shoot just hosting in your house is a lot of work, even if the host doesn't cook. Its a lot of cleaning and supplying seats.

 

[leebee]

We always go to our friends' home for Thanksgiving and always bring something. I can't imagine not! Hosts always do turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes (because she makes the best mashed potatoes EVER) and WINE. Everyone else brings the rest, but the host usually asks for a category (apps, pie, dessert, salad, etc). I usually do appetizers, but this year she's asked if I can bring some sort of side dish. I am making smoked paprika spiced roasted butternut squash and a pan of roasted root veggies (sweet potato, turnip/rutabega, parsnips, carrots, leeks, beets).

Because my favorite part to Thanksgiving is the leftovers, I will also make a small turkey at home over the weekend. We'll have turkey, stuffing, gravy, green bean casserole, creamed onions, jellied cranberry sauce, blueberry pie (because I have a 10lb box of frozen blueberries) and MAYBE Indian pudding. I won't have anything on that list after "gravy" at our friends' home, but this is what says "Thanksgiving dinner" to me!

 

[stsomewhere]

My aunt always hosts Thanksgiving. Everyone brings a side dish or two. There is about 60 people that will attend. Usually we bring a huge thing of cheese potatoes, jello jigglers and pop. This year my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. My aunt said to make it easy for me to bring 4 bags of plain chips, 3 bags of corn chips, and a few tubs of french onion dip. Whatever is not used will be put toward our Christmas gathering.

 

[tvguy]

Could go either way. As family members have passed away, there are fewer at the table, and they no longer bring the items that they traditionally did.
My mom got the turkey ready, and the stuffing, and sent it over the day before. She did the gravy at hour house the day off. My wife and daughter do all that now (and my daughter is vegetarian).
My MIL brought the pies, she didn't bake, they were from Bakers Square...always pumpkin and Silk...don't miss the Silk pie as it was too salty for me.....my wife and daughter bake the pies from scratch now.

My son and DIL usually bring some vile IPA beer that they want me to try, and wine.

 

[Captainkidd76]

Should add, I don't mind picking the stuff up. I'm simply giving my stance on what I would do.

 

[cabanafrau]

I think it really depends. I ask my mom to bring her dressing, because its amazing, and she loves to add to it. But I supply everything else. Its fun for me and I can afford to do it. Not everyone has the time to make everything or the money to supply a huge dinner for multiple people. Shoot just hosting in your house is a lot of work, even if the host doesn't cook. Its a lot of cleaning and supplying seats.

That's pretty much how it works out at our house. My mom is the only one bringing anything to the main meal, mainly because my husband waits all year for her stuffing. I cook everything else with help from my daughters and husband -- which is why I thank my lucky stars Costco's pumpkin pies pass muster and I cheat with the rolls too. Mainly the people who trickle through later for noshing and drinks are likely to show up with wine, maybe an occasional app or dessert or sweet. I really would like to hand off some of those for people to bring but it seems so many people either don't cook or tell me how much they're looking forward to all the "good stuff" I make because they don't know how. I just don't get it, I'm a seat of my pants cook at best, just make my best attempt and maybe over the years I've gotten passable IMO.

 

[KathyTX]

If you are bringing something, PLEASE tell the host what it is in advance so they know and can plan!

I entertain a lot, and usually have the menu planned out. Adding something random can sometimes be a little inconvenient and redundant.

I also HATE when people bring dishes and serving platters that I have to later clean and keep track of and return- please be prepared to take anything of yours back home!