OK, OK, Stop begging everyone, I will post one joke, but only for this one time:
This is not really a joke, it is actually a humorous true story from the 2005 Turkeyday cruise:
A cruiser wandered off of the Magic, and into one of the many quality shops in the beautiful port of Costa Maya. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized carved coconut sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." Being a shrewd negotiator, he was able to talk the shop-keeper down to $11.75.
The transaction complete, the cruiser leaves the store with the coconut rat under his arm. As he wanders through the impressive shopping village, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked to the exit of the faux village for his return to the ship, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from everywhere! Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he starts to run as fast as he can back to the ship, skipping the trolley.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the gangplank, the whole pier behind him is full of rats! Not knowing what to do, he runs to the edge of the pier, and hurls the rat coconut out into the sea as far as he can throw it. To his amazement, every rat follows, jumping in to the sea and drowning. Not a single rat survived!
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the shop.
"Ah, Senior, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.
"No," says the cruiser, "I was wondering if you have a coconut lawyer."
Thank you, thank you very much, I will be appearing live on the Magic next Thanksgiving. Make sure to book your cruise early.
TCD