Yesterday I was carded (AFTER the employee actually looked at my face, not just b/c he always does, and he didn't card everyone in the line), and later called "hon" by a different person. Today I was called ma'am. I'm getting all sorts of signals!
I don't mind any of them.
After all, with my name...at SOME point during the course of a relationship, as soon as they learn my name, they are GOING to put "golly" and "miss" into the way they address me. My 6 year old did it today, saying, "golly, Molly" and giggling.... And if you can be 40 and still be OK with being called Miss Molly, you can be OK with hon, sweetie, and ma'am, all over the course of a weekend.
LOL, there was a standup routine many years ago, I think it was Ellen. She was talking about when sales people call you ma'am they really mean the word that rhymes with witch.
I still think of it to this day when someone calls me ma'am... especially, the snarky ladies at the Clinique counter.
Well, stop giving money to Clinique! That's the first thing, if their sales ladies are rude.
But I don't care what Ellen says (though I like her comedy), that is NOT what ALL people are saying, thinking, or meaning, when they use a polite word like ma'am.
YES it can be used rudely. But it can also be used politely. For when you're not really a "miss" anymore, and of course Ms and Mrs can't be used on their own to get someone's attention, you use those when you have a name after them, so then the choice is "ma'am".
It's rude to me. But that's why I posted this...to see if it is rude to other people.
It is to some...it isn't to others. I know that the server at the restaurant yesterday wasn't being rude with "hon" and "sweetie". For whatever reason, she just doesn't know how to end a sentence without something like that on the end. And since she doubled as the bartender, I bet she got it from being behind the bar, and it probably endears her to people during that part of her shift.
People can't win.
On the other hand, I don't like being called "Miss Krista" by children as has become quite common around here. When kids at church or wherever call me that, I tell them with a smile that they can just call me "Krista"
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I am also bothered by "No problem", as has been discussed here on the DIS. I love going to Chick-fil-a because you can tell that they have been trained to say things like "My pleasure" with a smile and usually eye-to-eye contact. I'm sure they must be coached never to say "No problem". I like that they teach their young employees some communication skills.
Do the kids in Texas then call you by your first name? That's gotta be hard there. It was one thing in CA (I grew up calling my mom by her name, which is why it's cool for my son to call me by my name), though we tried to call adults by what they wanted to call them, but in TX? I can't imagine that makes their parents very happy?
I'm right with you on "no problem" though. I used to use it. Then, I think I was living in South Carolina, and someone pointed out to me that by using that phrase when someone said "thank you" I was really diminishing their thanks. And that I should just say "you are welcome". I realized that even if that's not what I was meaning, the words really do just sort of inherently diminish the whole situation. Makes what I might have done smaller, makes their thanks smaller... So I changed, and started saying "you're welcome", and it really does make those situations feel better.
She probably used to say "Thank you ma'am" but was yelled at by someone and had to pick a different word so she settled on sweetie. It could have been honey, dear, darling, or anything else and it would mean the same thing, a generic term to address someone whom you deal with in passing and neither know or care to know their name.
If someone wants to find offense in anything they will, bless their heart.
I never understood why people don't like ma'am anyway. It is just the female equivalent of sir and I don't even notice any more if I am called sir, especially by someone younger, let alone take offense to it.
Oh Fire, you said TWO things in there that were exactly what I wanted to say.
One, that the person probably had to pick something after being yelled at...that's probably why the guy at RiteAid said "ma'am" to me, b/c I'm too old (if you don't know my name) to be a Miss, saying "sweetie" in the context of "you can go to the next register if you'd like even though you are in the other lane" would just be creepy, and he was probably just wanting to be polite.
And two, you used The Phrase...the phrase that DOES connote "omg I can't believe how you're acting; I'm not really happy with you right now"....
And yes, I choose to hear "ma'am" as the same as "sir" (though that can be used rudely, as evidenced in the French restaurant scene in Blues Brothers as they get one more guy to quit his job and join the band..."sir??? sir!!!! SIR!!!!!"). I mean...why choose to hear it rudely?
Don't let any of it bug ya!
Hi, sweetie!! 
I'm just happy when people are pleasant to each other. In fact, my Dr called me 'sugarplum' the other day...I thought it was adorable
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She was about 17 or 18. 
