Thank you notes via e-mail?

[kaytieeldr]

But why feel guilty? Before there was e-mail - few, if any, recipients kept thank you notes. I mean, I kept the one I got from Jacqueline Kennedy - even though it was preprinted and mechanically signed - but I was eight. But most people realize its purpose is to, well, thank someone for a gift, deed, service, etc., and that the note sender understands that rarely will such a note be kept for posterity.

One issue with an e-mailed thank you 'note', especially in a situation like the OP's (not saying the OP would do this) is the potential for a generic BCC'ed "thank you" to multiple gift-givers. BIG breach of etiquette, I don't give a rat's patoot what NewDCLGuy claims about 'etiquette never changes'. That one absolutely never changes.

 

[Art 1]

Is this appropriate? I work in a school and received gifts from many parents and teachers -- some just token gifts, like baked goods, candy, etc. Is it OK to thank them via e-mail?

No.

 

[minkydog]

Although I am old fashioned myself--I would never under any circumstances EVER send an email thanks--I'm not particular about other people's thank you notes. Considering that most people don't send any sort of thank yous, it's nice just to get some acknowledgement for the gift.Especially since I mail about 80% of my gifts, it's nice to know they got there. I wouldn't hold it against a teacher if she failed to send a thank you. I know they're grateful for whatever we do for them.

 

[design_mom]

I wouldn't mind an e-mail thank you note in your situation.

We're doing handwritten thank yous, but I agree with some previous posters that it's giving a personal thank you (not the medium) that is important.

If you choose to do e-mail, I would try to make it as personal as possible. "Dear Smith Family, Thank you so much for the decorated sugar cookies you brought me on the last day of school." rather than a generic "Thanks so much for remembering me at the holidays."

 

[Saphire]

I work in a school and received gifts from many parents and teachers -- some just token gifts, like baked goods, candy, etc. Is it OK to thank them via e-mail?

I am SO old-fashioned! For instance... I think couples should be married before living together!!! And so much more.

Yet, I have no problem whatsoever with an e-mail thank-you. To be recognized and thanked is wonderful, the way it is done does not matter to me in the least.

 

[Tinijocaro]

l. Email is slightly better than no thank-you at all, though. Handwritten note is best.

Even if the person actually said thank you in the email? Wondering how you arrive at this conclusion.

 

[elizke]

As a parent I'd be happy with email too, just to know it was received and appreciated. In most of these cases, I consider my little gift a thank you itself, and don't require a thank you for a thank you.

I think for family gifts too, I'd rather get an email than nothing, and it really wouldn't bother me.

Modern kids are way less used to writing. I really think, for better or worse, handwriting will become a thing of the past eventually. So many more portable gadgets to use for communication and often so much more legible! Mind you, I'm not saying I think that's a good thing, just that I see it coming.

 

[plutotek]

I find it amusing that what people are objecting to is, essentially, the medium in which the 'thank-you' is delivered. If the person takes the time to type out a thank-you note, it is no different than writing it (especially if the writer's handwriting is like mine ). They are taking the time to put their sentiments to electronic paper and send it FASTER than a handwritten note. Cheaper, faster, and able to be saved in a much more convenient way. However, no 'blanket' email.

These days, thank-yous are so few and far between. I will give a gift to an individual (family or friend) only twice. If no thank-you is received, they get no more gifts. So, emailing thank-yous for your gifts is completely acceptable in this day and age.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I will give a gift to an individual (family or friend) only twice. If no thank-you is received, they get no more gifts.

I recently got a thank you note from my step-nephew. I've never gotten one from my nephew. Guess who'll be getting gifts from me in the future?

 

[rie'smom]

Hand written thank-you notes only

 

[Carly_Roach]

I would love an email thank you note! I always feel slightly guilty throwing out the handwritten ones, since someone spent money on the card. But does anyone actually keep them? I know I don't. Email conveys the sentiment just as well, and it's guilt-free.

Hand-written thank you notes means you went to some effort to thank the person for the gift.

Emailed thank you notes means you spent about 10 seconds typing out a sentence, hit enter, then went on with your surfing. Or worse, you spent five seconds texting it while waiting for your friend to pick you up, hit send and then forgot about the whole thing.

A hand-written thank you means you spent time on your graciousness. You picked out a card, sat down, thought about the gift, wrote down your sentiment, sealed it in an envelope, put a stamp on it, addressed it, and walked or drove to the post office or mailbox. You were likely thinking of that person the entire time you were doing those steps. MUCH more personal than a digital email.

Sure, that person may just throw it out when they get it, but at least you've expressed that you care more about them than the regular generic daily email that you'd normally send to say, "So what's up?" or "Wanna come to a barbeque next week?".

Personally, I don't care if someone sends me a thank you for a gift I've given them. I gift people because it makes me feel good. Once that gift's left my hands it's left my sphere of reality and I wish it and the receiver well. However, if someone is generous enough to gift me with a present and I haven't expressed my thanks in person, I'm old fashioned enough to write a thank you note and send it to them.

That's just the way I was raised. YMMV.

 

[dislaney]

I would be happy to receive any kind of Thank you.

 

[RitaZ.]

I'm with the poster that said that you should use papyrus. An email is absolutely acceptable in my book. You can always send a personalized e-card. Times do change.

I rarely receive thank you notes. Many times I get no acknowledgement at all. I still don't know if my cousin received the generous cash gift that we gave him for his wedding. I think he got married 5 years ago.

Any kind of acknowledgement is acceptable to me.

 

[LisaR]

Hand-written thank you notes means you went to some effort to thank the person for the gift.

Emailed thank you notes means you spent about 10 seconds typing out a sentence, hit enter, then went on with your surfing. Or worse, you spent five seconds texting it while waiting for your friend to pick you up, hit send and then forgot about the whole thing.

A hand-written thank you means you spent time on your graciousness. You picked out a card, sat down, thought about the gift, wrote down your sentiment, sealed it in an envelope, put a stamp on it, addressed it, and walked or drove to the post office or mailbox. You were likely thinking of that person the entire time you were doing those steps. MUCH more personal than a digital email.

Sure, that person may just throw it out when they get it, but at least you've expressed that you care more about them than the regular generic daily email that you'd normally send to say, "So what's up?" or "Wanna come to a barbeque next week?".

Personally, I don't care if someone sends me a thank you for a gift I've given them. I gift people because it makes me feel good. Once that gift's left my hands it's left my sphere of reality and I wish it and the receiver well. However, if someone is generous enough to gift me with a present and I haven't expressed my thanks in person, I'm old fashioned enough to write a thank you note and send it to them.

That's just the way I was raised. YMMV.

This doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Why are you assuming that someone that writes a hand written note is taking their time and the person that types an email only types one sentence? Why would you think that those that type an email aren't including any details? My son told each of his aunts and uncles what he will be using their gift cards for. He told them all of the other things he got for Christmas. He thanked those that were here in person for joining us and he told those that weren't able to make it that he hopes to see them soon and asked how their Christmas was. He thanked them at the beginning of the email and at the end (plus he already thanked most in person). He also felt the need to tell them what toys the dogs got for Christmas. I am not sure what else he could have possibly included in a hand written note that he didn't manage to convey simply because it was an email.

The other thing that I find humorous is all the effort you seem to feel everyone puts into hand written thank you notes. My 13 y/o would not spend anytime picking out a card. He would grab the first one out of the box of thank you cards we have kicking around the house. He would never address the envelop because he is dyslexic and dysgraphic and it may not make it there based on his writing. If we were lucky, he would toss it on the side table heading out the front door so one of us would remember to stick it in the mailbox for him. The actual scenario would be that it would end up on his desk with his other crap where it would sit for days until we remind him multiple times to get it out to the mail. You may put a great deal of thought and effort into your handwritten notes but I can assure you not everyone is as mindful as you are.

I also don't understand how you don't care at all if someone even sends you a thank you, yet if they send it via email it isn't appropriate. So you would much rather they not thank you at all if the only way they are going to thank you is through an email? That seems so odd.

To each their own. My kids will continue to send emails. They have for years and those same people continue to buy for them so they must not be too appalled.

 

[minniecarousel]

I received a gift card and a hand-signed card from the Social Studies Dept (I make copies at a HS) 15 mins before I left for Winter Break. I sent a quick E-mail Thank You to the teacher who had his classroom aide drop it off. I asked him to offer my thanks to the rest of the dept for the gift. I have, in the past, written out a card for each teacher who signed the card. But then, I've had difficulty deciphering a few of the names (I should recognize all the signatures!) I just wanted them to know thaat I did indeed receive it before I left & that I appreciated them thinking of me.

I think that a hand-written note from a teacher to a student is important, but I really think that the group E-mail for a group gift for co-workers is OK.

 

[kaytieeldr]

This doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Why are you assuming that someone that writes a hand written note is taking their time and the person that types an email only types one sentence? Why would you think that those that type an email aren't including any details? My son told each of his aunts and uncles what he will be using their gift cards for. He told them all of the other things he got for Christmas. He thanked those that were here in person for joining us and he told those that weren't able to make it that he hopes to see them soon and asked how their Christmas was. He thanked them at the beginning of the email and at the end (plus he already thanked most in person). He also felt the need to tell them what toys the dogs got for Christmas. I am not sure what else he could have possibly included in a hand written note that he didn't manage to convey simply because it was an email.

See, that's all impressive - and I know you're not looking for compliments, just explaining what your son did.

But in general, it's far too easy with e-mail to either (a) as I mentioned above send a generic mass BCCed "Thank you for the wonderful gift. I enjoyed/will enjoy it very much." e-mail to everyone who gave you a gift, or (b) use a template and fill in the blank: "Thank you for the wonderful ____. I enjoyed it very much / it was delicious / I'll put it to good use." (and hope you match the right gift and option with the right giver ).

Yes, handwritten - or for the people who claim their handwriting stinks, hand-printed - thank you notes take time and effort. SO DID THE GIFT. Even the ones the OP labeled 'token' gifts - the baked goods and candy. Maybe the candy was hand-made, maybe it was purchased. It still took time and effort. The baked goods? If purchased, they were likely expensive - not that the cost of the gift has any relation to the type of thank you. If the baked goods were homemade, that's not a 'token' gift. Time, effort, and thought went into that gift.

 

[plutotek]

But in general, it's far too easy with e-mail to either (a) as I mentioned above send a generic mass BCCed "Thank you for the wonderful gift. I enjoyed/will enjoy it very much." e-mail to everyone who gave you a gift, or (b) use a template and fill in the blank: "Thank you for the wonderful ____. I enjoyed it very much / it was delicious / I'll put it to good use." (and hope you match the right gift and option with the right giver ).

Yes, handwritten - or for the people who claim their handwriting stinks, hand-printed - thank you notes take time and effort. SO DID THE GIFT. Even the ones the OP labeled 'token' gifts - the baked goods and candy. Maybe the candy was hand-made, maybe it was purchased. It still took time and effort. The baked goods? If purchased, they were likely expensive - not that the cost of the gift has any relation to the type of thank you. If the baked goods were homemade, that's not a 'token' gift. Time, effort, and thought went into that gift.

It is pretty much human nature to use a pattern/template, if nothing else than for convenience sake. So, the idea that a handwritten note is going to be anymore original or thought out than a typed note is funny on the surface. Once the first note is written, it will provide the template for all subsequent notes, IN MOST CASES, so all that's been put into the note is time that didn't need to be spent putting pen to paper.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Disagree. Sure, there's a general template for a thank you note. But if you're writing (or printing) individual thank you notes on paper, you don't have the opportunity to copy/paste the same text and just fill in the blanks. You actually get to put some thought into each note, just as each gift giver put some thought into the gift.

 

[Carly_Roach]

It is pretty much human nature to use a pattern/template, if nothing else than for convenience sake. So, the idea that a handwritten note is going to be anymore original or thought out than a typed note is funny on the surface. Once the first note is written, it will provide the template for all subsequent notes, IN MOST CASES, so all that's been put into the note is time that didn't need to be spent putting pen to paper.

And that is the #1 reason why emailed thank you notes are considered just as bad as no thank you note at all: the consideration that it's a waste of time to properly thank someone for a gift.

Let us be clear: I'm not speaking of the presents that are opened and enjoyed while the giver is in the room and can see the recipient's reactions. The looks on the recipient's face and the "Thank you!" that comes from that are thanks enough.

I'm speaking of the sent Christmas gifts, the wedding gifts that are opened when the couple returns home, the birthday gifts that are sent through the mail, ANYTIME when the giver isn't there to watch that gift being opened. The minimum reaction is at least a phone call to the giver to express appreciation. However, in cases where a person received MANY gifts that they can't always call and personally thank the givers for, the minimum should be a formal thank you note sent through the mail, not a generic email.

And here's another perspective: just because YOU (generic you) don't keep notecards and thank you notes doesn't mean some older people don't. Especially if they're shut-ins or have limited contact with other people. That thank you note that Aunt Martha living in a retirement home receives is likely kept someplace where the she can see it and remember how she felt buying the gift and receiving the thank you card. A printed out email just doesn't have the same feeling.

So don't say it's a waste of time and money to send formal thank you notes. You never know whose day you are brightening by following proper etiquette.

 

[plutotek]

Disagree. Sure, there's a general template for a thank you note. But if you're writing (or printing) individual thank you notes on paper, you don't have the opportunity to copy/paste the same text and just fill in the blanks. You actually get to put some thought into each note, just as each gift giver put some thought into the gift.

For the majority of people, whether you email or write, you're going to 'cut and paste' either physically on the computer or mentally as you write.

And that is the #1 reason why emailed thank you notes are considered just as bad as no thank you note at all: the consideration that it's a waste of time to properly thank someone for a gift.

And who is the authority that 'considers' the emailed notes bad? Before you answer that, I'll send you my mailing address so you can me a proper, handwritten response.