Thank you notes via e-mail?

[taximomfor4]

I personally wouldn't mind an email thank you, a verbal thank you, a thank you card, or even...gasp...no thank you at all. I guess since whenever I get a Thank You card in the mail, I open it, think "How Nice", then throw it away, I can't even remember who I get them from and who I don't. Like a pp stated, the gift leaves my hand and I wish the recipient and gift well. I just don't notice if I get a Thank You card later. Do people really keep track of that? I guess it just really isn't one of my pet peeves. So, OP, you probably shouldn't take my advice that the emails are fine, lol.

 

[Carly_Roach]

And who is the authority that 'considers' the emailed notes bad? Before you answer that, I'll send you my mailing address so you can me a proper, handwritten response.

The authority is whomever might feel snubbed if/when you send them a thank you email instead of a thank you note. If you have no such people in your life then you've nothing to worry about. I, however, have many elderly people in my life who would consider it bad taste, low class and even trashy if I were to send them anything but a proper thank you note if they sent me a gift. And they raised children who carry that same ettiquette into their own lives as well.

The art of graciousness is dying, but there are still a few of us around who remember and are passing it along to our children. If nothing else, it makes us look a little better than those who don't practice it.

Please be assured that if you were to send me a gift, then I'd already have your mailing address and would, of course, write a proper, well thought out handwritten thank you note and send it to you.

 

[cm8]

I am old fashioned and write thank you notes and appreciate when I get one.

There are so many people who do not write thank you notes. It it came down to not sending a thank you note, then e-mail would be better than nothing.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

Times have changed. In the past, it was either write a hand written note, or don't send one at all. Today we have choices. I have no problem receiving email thank yous. Heck, I was thrilled to get a texted "thank you" from my nephew last week.

 

[plutotek]

The authority is whomever might feel snubbed if/when you send them a thank you email instead of a thank you note. If you have no such people in your life then you've nothing to worry about. I, however, have many elderly people in my life who would consider it bad taste, low class and even trashy if I were to send them anything but a proper thank you note if they sent me a gift. And they raised children who carry that same ettiquette into their own lives as well.

The art of graciousness is dying, but there are still a few of us around who remember and are passing it along to our children. If nothing else, it makes us look a little better than those who don't practice it.

Please be assured that if you were to send me a gift, then I'd already have your mailing address and would, of course, write a proper, well thought out handwritten thank you note and send it to you.

Okay, so the only authority you are citing is the one in your own world. I'm glad I'm not violating any authority recognized beyond that world.

Writing/typing/chiselling in stone a note is what matters, not the medium with which it is delivered. If someone doesn't have email, then a handwritten note is sent. I would agree that a text w/all it's b*****dized English is not acceptable.

The issue at the heart of the matter is the showing of appreciation for the gift, and yes, that is becoming threatened. However, you can continue to think sending a handwritten thank you note makes you better than everyone else; the rest of us in the real world know the opposite is true.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Okay, so the only authority you are citing is the one in your own world.

Um, no:

Emily and Peggy Post
Amy Vanderbilt
Letitia Baldridge
Judith Martin
Marjabelle Young Stewart

Etiquette: the rules and conventions governing correct or polite behavior in society in general or in a specific social or professional group or situation

According to buzzle.com http://www.buzzle.com/articles/thank-you-note-etiquette.html, among other things "•A thank you note is not a thank you note unless it is handwritten. Sending a typed or printed piece of text as a gesture of thanks, is extremely impersonal and impolite. A handwritten thank you note always has a bit of personal touch to it along with a sense of genuineness."
ehow.com http://www.ehow.com/way_5201651_thank-etiquette.html states "
Whenever you receive a gift, you should send a written thank you note. Our society is drifting away from such niceties, substituting phone calls and emails instead. There is nothing, however, that says you truly appreciate the thought and kindness behind the gift you've received than a heartfelt, handwritten thank you note."
And Oprah's experts http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Thank-You-Note-Etiquette, in response to the question 'Is it okay to send a thank you on email?', say:
Ceri Marsh, etiquette columnist: It's okay…but why not do something that's great?
Harriette Cole, syndicated columnist: It also depends on whom you're sending it to. If you have a person who lives on the Internet, you can get a thank you card that that is animated and dances and does all kinds of fabulous things. If that person would love to get an e-mail thank you, that's the person you send it to. Your momma doesn't want that. She wants appreciation and handwritten notes!
E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine advice columnist: We send thank you notes because we want to be loved and admired. And if you want to be loved and admired, you send it on stationery so thick it's like ice cream and you write it by hand—it's just elegant and it's fun to get it!

Before you claim, "they're olllllllld!", Oprah's experts are relatively young, the show aired in May 2010, and good manners NEVER go out of style.

 

[design_mom]

According to buzzle.com http://www.buzzle.com/articles/thank-you-note-etiquette.html, among other things "•A thank you note is not a thank you note unless it is handwritten. Sending a typed or printed piece of text as a gesture of thanks, is extremely impersonal and impolite. A handwritten thank you note always has a bit of personal touch to it along with a sense of genuineness."

I think that the "personal touch" is the important thing here.

I was once at a wedding where there was a bridesmaid stationed at the gift table handing out preprinted "Thank you for your lovely gift and for sharing our special day with us" cards. They were totally impersonal and the only thanks that was given. Obviously, an e-mail thank you note *could* turn into a similarly generic thing... but it doesn't *have* to be that way.

For me, I'd rather get this e-mail:
"Dear Aunt Kim, Thanks for the Epic Mickey video game you sent me for Christmas. My friend Bobby and I have been playing it and are already on Level 4. It is so much fun. Love, Jimmy."

Than this handwritten card:
"Dear Aunt Kim, Thanks for the gift. It is great. Love, Jimmy."

Obviously, e-mail thank you notes would not be appropriate for people (great-grandma?) who don't have access to a computer. And perhaps a gushing thank you note on stationery "so thick it's like ice cream" with a hand-cancelled stamp would be the ultimate... but the personal touch is the key.

 

[Freyja]

Definitely o.k.
Pretty much all interaction I have with my friends, family, students and their parents, apart from face-to-face meeting are via e-mail. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I am a bit of a stickler, but these times, they are a-changing.

For my electronically challenged giftees, I send hand-written notes.

For my iPhone carrying friends, I send emails. These are the people that only check their snail mail once a month.

But, for one friend, I pick out the nicest, most appropriate thank you card I have. I think about how I word the thank you, and I make sure to send it at least two days after Christmas and never four days afterwards. And this friend is an electronic maven who always has the latest gadgets. She just really loves the old-fashionedness of correspondence and I love to write to her in this way. As does she in return.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I don't care how I receive thank you's. In person, email, hand written note, phone call, text message, written across the sky ....as long as they are heart felt then I'm happy.

 

[DisneyScraps]

If someone too the time to give you a gift it would be polite to take the time to write a short thank you.

I would not do it in an email.

Lisa

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I would think it depends on who it is. My grandmother will be getting a handwritten note, but my cousins will be getting FB messages.

 

[SaraJayne]

Email is fine for a thank you.

And if someone chooses to get their panties in a twist about an email thank you, they won't be receiving any more thank you's.

 

[TimeforMe]

OP here. After reading this thread, all I can say is My head hurts. Thanks for all the responses, though. Some interesting opinions, for sure. I think I will actually be doing some e-mail and some written. Contrary to what some posters here implied, though, I had planned on thanking each and every person in some way. I am grateful for everyone who thought of me--even the ones that gave "token" gifts.

 

[ZachnElli]

I find it amusing that what people are objecting to is, essentially, the medium in which the 'thank-you' is delivered. If the person takes the time to type out a thank-you note, it is no different than writing it (especially if the writer's handwriting is like mine ). They are taking the time to put their sentiments to electronic paper and send it FASTER than a handwritten note. Cheaper, faster, and able to be saved in a much more convenient way. However, no 'blanket' email.

These days, thank-yous are so few and far between. I will give a gift to an individual (family or friend) only twice. If no thank-you is received, they get no more gifts. So, emailing thank-yous for your gifts is completely acceptable in this day and age.

I find it incredibly amusing too! When the US Post Office finally and officially goes belly up, I guess those "never to be broken etiquette rules" will have to be broken! Otherwise, there will be no notes or letters of any kind!

 

[C.Ann]

I'd like to see the Post Office stay in business..

 

[kaytieeldr]

Agreed, C.Ann - because there are things that can't be sent electronically (or people not set up to receive items that way)... and dang, there's NO way UPS or FedEx is going to ship a letter for forty-four cents!!!!

 

[plutotek]

Um, no:

Emily and Peggy Post
Amy Vanderbilt
Letitia Baldridge
Judith Martin
Marjabelle Young Stewart

Etiquette: the rules and conventions governing correct or polite behavior in society in general or in a specific social or professional group or situation

According to buzzle.com http://www.buzzle.com/articles/thank-you-note-etiquette.html, among other things "•A thank you note is not a thank you note unless it is handwritten. Sending a typed or printed piece of text as a gesture of thanks, is extremely impersonal and impolite. A handwritten thank you note always has a bit of personal touch to it along with a sense of genuineness."
ehow.com http://www.ehow.com/way_5201651_thank-etiquette.html states "
Whenever you receive a gift, you should send a written thank you note. Our society is drifting away from such niceties, substituting phone calls and emails instead. There is nothing, however, that says you truly appreciate the thought and kindness behind the gift you've received than a heartfelt, handwritten thank you note."
And Oprah's experts http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Thank-You-Note-Etiquette, in response to the question 'Is it okay to send a thank you on email?', say:
Ceri Marsh, etiquette columnist: It's okay…but why not do something that's great?
Harriette Cole, syndicated columnist: It also depends on whom you're sending it to. If you have a person who lives on the Internet, you can get a thank you card that that is animated and dances and does all kinds of fabulous things. If that person would love to get an e-mail thank you, that's the person you send it to. Your momma doesn't want that. She wants appreciation and handwritten notes!
E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine advice columnist: We send thank you notes because we want to be loved and admired. And if you want to be loved and admired, you send it on stationery so thick it's like ice cream and you write it by hand—it's just elegant and it's fun to get it!

Before you claim, "they're olllllllld!", Oprah's experts are relatively young, the show aired in May 2010, and good manners NEVER go out of style.

First, if you re-read what I posted, I was quoting that specific poster, who was establishing her/himself as the authority by which the practice is judged.

That being said, I will concede that you are quoting-for the most part- established and time-honored authorities/experts, even if they are a bit antiquated. However, your last quote-Jean Carroll-clearly puts a selfish bent on the practice (if YOU want to be loved and admired...). The bona fides of Oprah's experts would be suspect, but that's because I don't consider Oprah an authority/resource for anything except grandiose self-promotion. But that's another thread...

 

[AustinTink]

I find it incredibly amusing too! When the US Post Office finally and officially goes belly up, I guess those "never to be broken etiquette rules" will have to be broken! Otherwise, there will be no notes or letters of any kind!

They will send them by carrier pigeon.

 

[kid-at-heart]

Thank you notes should not sent be via email. Hand delivered is acceptable as is sending the note through the postal services.