Thanks.
Here is our story. There are a lot of little things that over time added up to something being off...
There was not one thing that made us decide to have Ethan evaluated. It was a progression of little things that made me realize that maybe he needed help. It all started in pre-school. The teachers noticed that at recess time Ethan would sit on the side of the playground and watch the other kids play without ever joining in. We decided at that time to do a Child Find evaluation for him. (Child Find is a state funded early intervention program.) He did not qualify for any services. We also noticed in pre-school that he did not like to be touched lightly. If a teacher gently touched his shoulder to get his attention he would FREAK OUT! Now if you firmly grip his shoulder he is fine. We also noticed that when he hugged you he would back in for the hug instead of hugging you front on. He also has trouble sitting still so we got him a special cushion to sit on at meal times and a fidget (basically a spiky ball) that he could hold in his hands at circle time at school.
On to Kindergarten, Ethan had a lot of trouble the first few weeks with separation anxiety and it manifested itself in accidents. Again we noticed things like the fidgeting and the lack of social interaction with the other kids. He had trouble paying attention in class (beyond the usual 5 year old boy stuff), however if you asked him about it later he could almost always tell you what the teacher had said, almost word for word. We had him evaluated by the school psychologist and she agreed that he had a social/emotional developmental delay and has started working with him once a week.
On to First Grade. Ethan was pretty much the same socially, with the exception that he made a best friend. Benjamin. They seem to get along really well and Benjamin is really protective of Ethan. It is really sweet actually. Some other small things began to happen. Ethan seemed to lack impulse control. For example, a kid cut in front of him in line on the way in from recess and Ethan pushed him. This is pretty common. He is not overtly aggressive, but when he gets upset he can't think rationally and can't seem to control his body. He is also easily distracted. In first grade students are allowed to leave the room to go to the bathroom whenever they have to go. Ethan started using this as a excuse to get out of his seat and would be wandering in the hall when someone went to look for him. He was then given certain times when he was allowed to go to the bathroom (unless it was an emergency and he does know the difference. He was also given a certain stall that he had to use to help him focus and stay on task. There was another boy in his class who had the same situation and had his own stall. One day Ethan went into the bathroom and the other boy was in his stall. Instead of going to get the teacher, Ethan smacked him on the bottom. When we talked about it later he said that he should have gotten the teacher, but he does not know why he didn't. Again...lack of impulse control. In February the school called a meeting and asked if it was okay with me if they evaluated him for an IEP. I said yes immediately, but I got the impression that most parents are against this. I guess I understand their point of view on this, but to me it seemed obvious that if her needed help and the school was willing to provide it to him that I should take advantage of it. His evaluations happened and we learned that he has a Emotional Disability (which seems like a really generic phrase to me), he has a slight speech impediment, and he lacks the ability to carry on a progressive back-and-forth conversation. It was something that I had never realized before but it is spot on. He can talk to you, but really can't talk with you.
There were other little incidents throughout the year and there came a point where I came to the conclusion that we had to get him evaluated medically. It was ironic really because a few days after this thought occurred to me, the principal called and wanted to schedule another meeting with me. I remember when he started talking he seemed so nervous. He said something about how he and the staff at school could not make medical dx and I realized that they were wanting me to have Ethan tested. I think it would have been hard if I had not come to the conclusion on my own, but I found it to be almost a relief because they could tell me how to go about it and I did not feel so isolated.
I set up an appointment with my Pediatrician and he was AMAZING! We talked for over tow hours and he made me feel like it was all going to be okay and gave me the names of some centers in the area that can do the testing. (We decided to do it privately so we did not have to wait on long lists to be seen and wait forever for insurance approval.) I had my parent meeting yesterday and the center I chose seemed like a great place. They said that Ethan would have to go through a Neuropsycholgical evaluation which would take place in two three hour sessions. I decided I wanted to move ahead. He had his first session last Wednesday and his second session on Monday. We go back for our follow-up on Aug. 15.
Wow...that was long! Probably more info than you wanted but that is our story.
