Terri's remains after death

[Hippychickali]

You know, if he has been grossly mistreated, and is so angry at the family, I find it hard to believe he wouldn't want an autopsy so he can clear his name and be vindicated.... Think of all the comments that have been made on air about him, he could have one heck of a lawsuit for slander, wouldn't he? If nothing else, he could prove everyone wrong and be left in peace. I don't see that happening if he cremates her. ...

Your comments totally confuse me. It's probably just my own lack of understanding but what does having an autopsy have to do with cremation?

Ali

 

[TimeforMe]

:

The news says he is staying at Hospice w/Terry. Why isn't he with and
taking a care of his new family?

OMG! This is a perfect example of damned if you do and damned if you don't. Can this poor man do anything "right"?

 

[jellymanoffspring]

That is quite an assumption to make. Why can't people just respect what the husband is doing--I really don't understand why it is everyone's business. My husband is what I consider to be a "good Catholic" and has made it clear that he wants to be cremated. It is nothing to do with being given an opportunity to "mourn his passing". I'm sure her parents will have plenty of opportunity to do that. I just hope this poor woman can RIP soon.

Of Course , many "good catholics " are cremated...
My Dear Father who passed away 3 years ago was cremated...he had told us many times what he wanted...no wake , cremation...

BUT we also has a Catholic Funeral Mass with him present....then we proceeded to the cemetary where they had a chapel and a crematorium....


It is a shame that they can not do that in this situation.....

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I know my mother would want to do it HER way if I died...the wakes, open casket, big funeral, burial. That's NOT what I want...I feel ADAMANT about having a closed casket and cremation...and DH knows what I want, and he is MY HUSBAND, so as long as he is alive, my wishes will be honored. (Even if my mother KNEW what I wanted, she'd do what she felt was "right"...her way. ) Honestly, I think that's one more thing I guess I need to do, after watching all this...get all that in writing too.

IMHO, if they want to have a casket for Terri at a funeral service I would hope MS would do that, but then cremate her. However, I feel they have no right to fight the cremation, just as I feel my mother would have no right to fight mine. I do think, because mom and my DH get along so well, that he would try to accomodate my mom, without ignoring my wishes (ie, a casket during the service, then cremation).

 

[Chattyaholic]

If he's living with another woman and has two children with her, then he has "moved on" with his life and he should allow Terri's parents, who gave birth to her and raised her, to decide what to do after she's gone. If it were me that happened to and my DH was with another woman and had children with her I wouldn't want him making any decisions for me, I would want my parents to do it.

 

[TammiMcMan]

I'm not going to interject my thoughts about this case, but my DH's family had a similar situation with a disagreement over cremation or burial. It involved his mother who had actually informed DH and myself that her wishes were to be cremated and have her ashes scattered in Vermont. When the sad day came and arrangements were being made, DH's brother had never heard about their mothers request and insisted on a burial. Luckily, everything worked out and her wishes for a final resting place were followed through.

Have I spoken to my DH about my funeral requests, yes. Have I ever spoken to my parents about it, no. My brothers & sisters, no. My children, not to the extent of what DH and I have discussed, but yes.

I think people have chosen sides on this particular case and that's how everything is viewed. Either her husband is withstanding death threats and public ridicule to do everything in his power to fulfill his wifes wishes, or he's an SOB for seemingly fighting his wifes family on every request to have their wishes for their daughter fulfilled. If it's taught me one thing, it's that I need to get everything in writing so that no one in my family has to ever go through this.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

If he's living with another woman and has two children with her, then he has "moved on" with his life and he should allow Terri's parents, who gave birth to her and raised her, to decide what to do after she's gone. If it were me that happened to and my DH was with another woman and had children with her I wouldn't want him making any decisions for me, I would want my parents to do it.

Wow. I love my husband so much, and I see what a wonderful parent he is and how much he adores our children, that I can't imagine ever wanting him to have a relationship-and-child-free life, while I languished in a persistent vegetive state year after year after year after year. And at the same time, I'd hope that he would do all he could to honor my wishes, rather just walk away.

I honestly don't understand what people don't get about what Michael Schiavo is doing, and has done, over all these years.

 

[tar heel]

If I were to die today, my parents would have a fit about me being cremated even though my mother knows that's what I want. My family isn't Catholic either -- it's just good supporters of the funeral industry. My dh knows I want to be created and he would see that it happened. My parents are the type that want a big fancy funeral with an open casket. My parents also would have trouble withholding medical care, while my DH knows what I want. If my brain is dead and body is holding on, let me go. If my body is failing and brain is alive, keep me alive until I decide otherwise.

 

[peachgirl]

His lawyer took the opportunity on Saturday to discuss the after death plans. Perhaps he should have waited.

Yes, he should have.

 

[lyeag]

I was simply pointing out that cremating the body without an autopsy will only add fuel to the fire over the controversy. Whether you agree it needs to be done or not is not the point. My point was that if one is not done, there will always be a segment of the population that will think he had something to hide..... Also, he has endured through many comments on national tv, that he and his lawyers claim are flatly untrue. Why not go after them for slander?

Also, and this is a personal thought, if I was MS, and I really wanted it to be over and go on with my life, I would want to get rid of any doubt. Not only for me, but for my children. Who wants to grow up hearing over and over again that their father killed his sick wife? I know not everyone would say that, but you know the news will dredge it up from time to time, comments will be made....I don't think I would want to subject my children to that especially if I could prove it wasn't true beyond a shadow of a doubt. JMHO though.....

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

And what do you think an autopsy is going to show?? Like there's this big definitive answer, spelled out in black and white, just waiting to be discovered? Do an authopsy, and there will be as many questions and accusations as before, for the sake of carrying on the fight. And there's no reason to do one...do they usually do one when someone's been hospitalized and treated for 15 years and the reason why death occurred is obvious???

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Just in case anyone wonders what the Church says regarding cremation, it is allowed, provided it does not a denial of faith in the Resurrection of the Body.

However,

"It is greatly to be preferred that the funeral liturgy take place in the presence of the body of the deceased prior to its cremation."

 

[Hippychickali]

I was simply pointing out that cremating the body without an autopsy will only add fuel to the fire over the controversy. Whether you agree it needs to be done or not is not the point. My point was that if one is not done, there will always be a segment of the population that will think he had something to hide..... Also, he has endured through many comments on national tv, that he and his lawyers claim are flatly untrue. Why not go after them for slander?

I guess what confuses me is your comment about cremating the body without an autopsy. Did anyone say that there wouldn't be an autopsy?

Ali

 

[Hippychickali]

Just in case anyone wonders what the Church says regarding cremation

You have to be careful when talking about "the Church". Which church?

Ali

 

[6_Time_Momma]

You have to be careful when talking about "the Church". Which church?

Ali

Well, I guess I thought everyone would know I was referring to the Catholic Church since Terri was raised Catholic. My apologies for not clarifying.

 

[4cruisin]

Here is my take on the whole situation... for what it's worth
I cannot believe that Michael Schiavo would go through what he has over the last years just for a million dollars. He obviously believes that the decisions he has made for Terri are for the best for HER. A million now a days is not enough to be slandered the way he has been by her family, the public and the media. Michael is not the one plastering Terri's ravaged body on the news every night. It would have been a lot easier for him to just divorce her and walk away. He chose to stay and try to make the best decisions for his wife. Why shouldn't he have the final say for her? Her family has basically accused him of attempted murder instead of blaming her bulimia for the initial cause of her pvs
There are no winners here, only a family that is totally torn apart and the life of a very young woman destroyed by an eating disorder.
Michael did nothing wrong by having children with another woman. Why should the man live like a monk and lock himself away for ever? Why do we feel we have the right to judge someone without knowing all the facts? I guarantee we have not heard the last from the Schindlers...I see all sorts of lawsuits in the coming weeks.
Put your emotions aside for a minute and think about Terri...do you really believe that any one would want to live like that? She is alive but she is not "living". I know I would thank the person that choose to stop life support if I was in that condition.
I am praying for peace and comfort for Terri in the coming days.
Edited to add:
MS could have been spiteful and refused to allow Terri's family in to see her. He has allowed them visitation all along. I'm not so sure I would be as kind to my in-laws if I was in MS' position.

 

[lyeag]

I have heard that there is some wish by the family for one to be done.... I have not heard one way or the other for sure...... for those that think I am trying to be unfair to MS, I am not trying to be. I am trying to be practical. If I had suffered through so much slander from my in laws and it looked to continue even past TS's death, I would want to try to put a stop to it. At least for my children... maybe they won't hear about it for years, but who wants their child in high school or college - o yeah I heard about your dad, he killed his wife. Think by then how vague the story might be.

Also, although I usually agree with Glen Beck, I saw on his website there are pictures of t shirts, key chains, and coffee mugs for sale. The t shirt has MS picture on it and says --

I starved my wife to death and all I got was this lousy t shirt.

The weirdos will march in front of his house with them on...

Would you want your children to go through that if you could try to stop it?

 

[Hippychickali]

Well, I guess I thought everyone would know I was referring to the Catholic Church since Terri was raised Catholic. My apologies for not clarifying.

If I seem sensitive to this issue, it's because I am. Terri was raised Roman Catholic I'm assuming. There was a need to clarify because people keep saying just Catholic. I belong to the Holy Catholic Church but I'm certainly not Roman Catholic.

Ali

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Wow. I love my husband so much, and I see what a wonderful parent he is and how much he adores our children, that I can't imagine ever wanting him to have a relationship-and-child-free life, while I languished in a persistent vegetive state year after year after year after year. And at the same time, I'd hope that he would do all he could to honor my wishes, rather just walk away.

I honestly don't understand what people don't get about what Michael Schiavo is doing, and has done, over all these years.

I don't fault him for moving on, I fault him for not divorcing her first.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Here is my take on the whole situation... for what it's worth
I cannot believe that Michael Schiavo would go through what he has over the last years just for a million dollars. He obviously believes that the decisions he has made for Terri are for the best for HER. A million now a days is not enough to be slandered the way he has been by her family, the public and the media. Michael is not the one plastering Terri's ravaged body on the news every night. It would have been a lot easier for him to just divorce her and walk away. He chose to stay and try to make the best decisions for his wife. Why shouldn't he have the final say for her? Her family has basically accused him of attempted murder instead of blaming her bulimia for the initial cause of her pvs
There are no winners here, only a family that is totally torn apart and the life of a very young woman destroyed by an eating disorder.
Michael did nothing wrong by having children with another woman. Why should the man live like a monk and lock himself away for ever? Why do we feel we have the right to judge someone without knowing all the facts? I guarantee we have not heard the last from the Schindlers...I see all sorts of lawsuits in the coming weeks.
Put your emotions aside for a minute and think about Terri...do you really believe that any one would want to live like that? She is alive but she is not "living". I know I would thank the person that choose to stop life support if I was in that condition.
I am praying for peace and comfort for Terri in the coming days.

Well said!!!