Telling Dd's About Santa, Good Ideas?

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

My dd is in second grade. There is a little girl in her class, who is a bit of a bully, who tells all the kids that Santa is not real and if they believe in him then they are babies. DD was very hurt because she believes but does not want to be called a baby. We had a long talk about it.

She still believes. I tell her I still believe, which I do. The magic is more there when you believe. I take dd to the mall to pick a child from the angel tree each year. She then picks a gift for that child. This is our little way of playing Santa I tell her. She has a wonderful time and usually picks a child her own age since she is an expert at that age.

I hope as she grows into adulthood her believing will continue. She may come to realize that a man in a red suit does not hop down our chimney but that does not mean she has to stop believing in the magic of Christmas and Santa.

So basically I have no plans of the sit down talk with her.

 

[wickey's friend]

I waited until my son asked me. I always told him that Santa was part of the spirit of Christmas - the giving part and that we gave to others as the Three Kings gave to the baby Jesus. It evolved into Santa just being a representative of the giving and that anyone can be a Santa. He was a little worried that the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa would all disappear now that he knew. We assured him that the spirit always lives and that even adults 'believe.'

What an excellent answer!!! Mind if I use it if and when I'm asked?

By the way. I still believe in Santa -- he comes to my house every year!

 

[#1hockeymom]

I've never told my kids there wasn't a Santa. I Have told them that Santa only gives presents to those that believe. They'll be 23 and 15 this Christmas. The cookies will be left out by them, and they'll write him a letter to be left next to the cookies as they have in years past.

 

[paula70]

Wow, I never expected such a response! Thank you all for your imput! I think you make good points as to why not to tell them.

The problem I'm struggling with is that DD11 literally asks about Santa almost every day. She keeps telling me that all her friends say there is no Santa. She doesn't understand how her freinds say one thing and we say the complete opposite.

First when she said it didn't seem possible, we talked about God and Jesus and that we believe in them just because we have faith. Not everything has to be seen or heard to exist. That worked for awhile.

This year i've focused on the "spirit" of Christmas and that Santa is in our hearts. I don't think she's buying it. To be honest, I think she feels a little silly believing when none of her freinds do. We've also told her if she doesn't believe in Santa then she is certainly not going to get presents from him.

But I truly believe she is looking to me to let her off the hook in a way.

I was just thinking of there was a nice way to approach it, I could put her out of her misery. She is literally driving herself (and me) crazy thinking/asking about it.

I guess I need to think about this some more!

Thanks again for the food for thought!

 

[John Smith1]

Wow, I never expected such a response! Thank you all for your imput! I think you make good points as to why not to tell them.

The problem I'm struggling with is that DD11 literally asks about Santa almost every day. She keeps telling me that all her friends say there is no Santa. She doesn't understand how her freinds say one thing and we say the complete opposite.

First when she said it didn't seem possible, we talked about God and Jesus and that we believe in them just because we have faith. Not everything has to be seen or heard to exist. That worked for awhile.

This year i've focused on the "spirit" of Christmas and that Santa is in our hearts. I don't think she's buying it. To be honest, I think she feels a little silly believing when none of her freinds do. We've also told her if she doesn't believe in Santa then she is certainly not going to get presents from him.

But I truly believe she is looking to me to let her off the hook in a way.

I was just thinking of there was a nice way to approach it, I could put her out of her misery. She is literally driving herself (and me) crazy thinking/asking about it.

I guess I need to think about this some more!

Thanks again for the food for thought!

My ds said something like that when he was about 10. He told me you don't have to see something to believe in it.

She's going to have to deal with WAY WORSE peer pressure in a few years. It's your turn to keep her in your belief system and how to filter out the "friends".

Good for you. Heck, I'm 42 and I like believing in all good things unseen!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Tell her how not all people believe the same things. That some people believe in Aliens, some don't. Some people believe in God, some don't.

That Santa celebrates the good in the world. And during this time of the year, your family believes that he brings happiness, magic and extra goodness into your home. In the form of surprises on Christmas morning, a special dinner and extra loving time with family.

You are making it sound like you lied to your child for years if you have to "TELL HER" there is no Santa.
When in fact, there is a Santa. He lives inside all of us. All of us who believe that is.

 

[georgina]

I waited until after Christmas to tell my youngest. Keeping up with the pretense was too much for me, and I felt dishonest. Comparing belief in Santa to belief in God is a bit of a stretch. The idea of a spirit of Christmas is fine, and that is how we did explain it, but trying to convince someone there's an actual person who flies around on Christmas Eve? It did feel like lying to me.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

If I want a REAL laugh I pull out the vid of my ds running from CEC on his 3rd bday!!!! He's 12 now and does NOT like that vid!!

So, when in his YouTube debut for the rest of us to enjoy????

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Wow, I never expected such a response! Thank you all for your imput! I think you make good points as to why not to tell them.

The problem I'm struggling with is that DD11 literally asks about Santa almost every day. She keeps telling me that all her friends say there is no Santa. She doesn't understand how her freinds say one thing and we say the complete opposite.

First when she said it didn't seem possible, we talked about God and Jesus and that we believe in them just because we have faith. Not everything has to be seen or heard to exist. That worked for awhile.

This year i've focused on the "spirit" of Christmas and that Santa is in our hearts. I don't think she's buying it. To be honest, I think she feels a little silly believing when none of her freinds do. We've also told her if she doesn't believe in Santa then she is certainly not going to get presents from him.

But I truly believe she is looking to me to let her off the hook in a way.

I was just thinking of there was a nice way to approach it, I could put her out of her misery. She is literally driving herself (and me) crazy thinking/asking about it.

I guess I need to think about this some more!

Thanks again for the food for thought!

I guess my question would be, why tell the 8yo? I can see maybe sitting the 11yo down and explaining everything, but why jip your 8yo of the 3 years your older DD had?

 

[John Smith1]

So, when in his YouTube debut for the rest of us to enjoy????

Man, I think I'd be served papers for the emancipation of a tweener if I dared do that!

 

[lovetoscrap]

In my house in addition to Santa, EB and Tooth Fairy the Great Pumpkin comes every year on Halloween night. This year that was just NOT going to happen for a variety of reasons. I realized I had to let DD8 know he wasn't coming and she would get to keep all her candy. She has always thought the GP thing was different since her friends don't talk about it.

I sat her down with the great speech about how the GP came to come to our house but because of xyz reasons he wasn't comeing this year etc... I never specifically said "There is no GP", or that "Mommy and Daddy are the GP", just that we made it up etc etc. Well she responded with "You did NOT make it up, he comes to my friend's house too!" I had forgotten she had a friend that also did the GP! I tried to explain more but she just wasn't buying it! I thought I had finally gotten through to her, but as she walked away she asked, "So, will the Great Pumpkin be able to come next year?"

I really think she just doesn't get it! And that is great! She knows that CEC is a person in a costume, and she is pretty sure the mall Santa is a guy in a costume pretending. Because she knows the REAL Santa is at the North Pole.

I still believe. And Santa fills my stocking every year and often leaves presents under the tree. I hope my 8 year old keeps the magic for a few more years.

 

[HunnyPots]

If she is 11 and asks you constantly, trust me, she already knows! She just wants you to come clean!

For those of you who say you still believe, do you? Do you really believe a man in a red suit has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all the good little children of the world in one night? Or are you saying that on Christmas, its fun to pretend that all those things are possible? Big difference! I never tried to encourage my kids to believe in Santa but I did teach them the fun of imagining the possibilty.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't see the point in telling them at all.. I never told my kids.. We all still "believe" - even as adults.. "Magical" things happen at Christmas time and we prefer to believe that Santa plays a big role in that "magic".. Society as a whole is bound and determined to suck the fun out of everything for kids today - from what age is appropriate to still play with dolls to when they should start dressing like little hookers.. Why can't kids just be allowed to enjoy their childhood and not be rushed into the "teen" years and then adulthood?

As for other kids "teasing" them - it's no different than any other kind of peer pressure.. Whether they fall prey to it or not depends largely on you and your attitude..

If you suspect they are "pretending" for your sake, then obviously it's important enough for them to do that.. As the song says, "Let Them Be Little"..

 

[DawnCt1]

Why tell them at all? My kids are 15, 17, 20 & 24 and I have never told them there is no Santa. In fact, they still get presents from Santa under the tree every year.

ITA!

 

[DawnCt1]

Wow, I never expected such a response! Thank you all for your imput! I think you make good points as to why not to tell them.

The problem I'm struggling with is that DD11 literally asks about Santa almost every day. She keeps telling me that all her friends say there is no Santa. She doesn't understand how her freinds say one thing and we say the complete opposite.

First when she said it didn't seem possible, we talked about God and Jesus and that we believe in them just because we have faith. Not everything has to be seen or heard to exist. That worked for awhile.

This year i've focused on the "spirit" of Christmas and that Santa is in our hearts. I don't think she's buying it. To be honest, I think she feels a little silly believing when none of her freinds do. We've also told her if she doesn't believe in Santa then she is certainly not going to get presents from him.

But I truly believe she is looking to me to let her off the hook in a way.

I was just thinking of there was a nice way to approach it, I could put her out of her misery. She is literally driving herself (and me) crazy thinking/asking about it.

I guess I need to think about this some more!

Thanks again for the food for thought!

I would tell my kids that after Halloween, the elves are lurking around every corner and we "couldn't talk about such things" because if "you don't believe in Santa, he won't believe in you". No one was willing to take a chance. When I was 9 my Dad told me the story of the "Gift of the Magi" to tell me that there was no Santa. My mother was furious!
At the end of the story, I asked why they didn't ask Santa! I knew but who would want to give up the Santa gig?

 

[Disneyland Princess]

After lots of thought and sadness, it is time to tell my DD's there is no santa.

I honestly don't think DD11 really believes but has put on a really good front. She questions it often and none of her friends believe but she is sweet and naive and wants so bad to keep believing. DD8 1/2 questions it as well but is more easily swayed.

So before they completely give up on the idea themselves, I want to find a cute way of telling them. My GF told me about a poem one her friends used that let the kids no that Santa was really Mom and Dad but now she can't find it.
Does anyone else have a cute way to let the kids know that Santa is really Mom and Dad?

TIA!

Is this the Poem? If not I thought it was cute anyway.

From many a child I often hear
A question one would think I’d fear.
So inquisitive their minds
So bright their eyes
I'd never be a party
to feeding them lies?

“Santa are you real?” they ask and ask.
Answering each inearnest is monumental task!
Driven like a race car
Persistent – oh they are –
They whisper in my ear...
They shout it from afar!

Santa are you real or NOT?
My friends all say you’re fake!
Please answer me -- once and for all
Answer NOW, for Christmas sake!

Well I answer the question
From my quiet home
With another question that's not even my own:
If I’m not real...
Then who wrote this poem?

It’s the SPIRIT you see
That makes Santa “BE”
And certainly now,
While that SPIRIT in ME

I AM the Real Santa

I found it on this web site:
http://www.santa.net/is-santa-claus-real.html

 

[breezy1077]

I haven't seen the movie, but I have the book, and it's wonderful!

The Polar Express.

For me at least, and I hope for my children.....I will always hear the bells.

I don't think you need to say anything.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Ya'll have just gone 'round the bend. No Santa? Right. Next thing all ya'lls will be hollerin' that there is no Mickey Mouse either, right? Sheesh.

 

[rie'smom]

I guess my question would be, why tell the 8yo? I can see maybe sitting the 11yo down and explaining everything, but why jip your 8yo of the 3 years your older DD had?

I'd tell your 11 yo because she's asking but don't take the wonder from your 8 yo. Treasure the next few years because Christmas really is not the same when none of your kids believe.

 

[teacups]

For those of you who say you still believe, do you? Do you really believe a man in a red suit has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all the good little children of the world in one night? Or are you saying that on Christmas, its fun to pretend that all those things are possible? Big difference! I never tried to encourage my kids to believe in Santa but I did teach them the fun of imagining the possibilty.

Just believe!