Tell me I can do this

[danceintherain]

I've never understood why people have to be so mean on a message board. I guess it's because it's anonymous. I bet if we were all sitting around a table, this conversation would be completely different.

I try to take all the posts I read at face value. I don't know the person writing the post. Sure, they can lie or withhold disclosing all information (like who was paying for her trip), but seriously - why does it matter to the rest of us?

Her "face value" included too much and not enough, especially considering that many people only read the first post (maybe the first page) then answer based on that information. Basically, she came to a group of people she doesn't know to ask for help. That doesn't give us all permission to attack her; however, it does make it more difficult to find a solution to her problem without more information. If we were sitting around a table with her, we would likely have some background information that we can use to help assess the situation (or invite her over to dinner some night this month). I have blatantly told people where their problem lies (ie my Mom's biggest financial problem is that she's still supporting my 24 year old brother and gives him pretty much whatever he asks for, which she knows but she doesn't care). Maybe the lack of compassion comes from the fact that we can't actually help. All we have is our words.

Anyways, I hope the OP has gotten enough constructive responses to adequately get her what she needs, whether that be making that $88 last for the rest of the month, or pull some more money from somewhere else....

 

[beaucoup]

Nope. If I knew the OP and she came to me asking about how to make $60 last a month I would tell her the same thing. In fact I had a family member going on about how she could not afford clothes for her kids. It took me all of 1 minute to point out her and her husband had gotten tattoos just a few months before and she should not waste her money when she needs to feed and clothe her children. I'm not one for sugar coating things to make people feel better about their bad decisions.

I am the same way in person. What good does it do a person to tell them the decisions that got them into the problem are fine & they should keep making them? Its better to offer them real solid advice. Sometime people need a good shaking up to see the truth. Too many people are too sweet & patting them on the head, when what they really need a good shaking to wake them up.

Her systems is not working or she wouldn't be asking for help.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Her systems is not working or she wouldn't be asking for help.

This is the crux of the OP's situation. The problem isn't that this one month she's trying to limit her combined grocery and gas spending to $80. It's that every month, she's "borrowing" from the next month's 'budget' to cover her expenditures.

Either she's vastly overspending on one or both line items, or her monthly budget is unrealistic. There's only so much patching you can do to the roof before the ceiling caves in. Something needs to be permanently amended in the OP's budget.

Either she needs to control her spending, or the budget needs to be increased to a realistic level based on current prices.

 

[morethananyonex]

Sooo I think I'm pretty awesome and hardworking. I deserve a WDW vacation too!! Who's treating? I mean everyone deserves a vacation.

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

I really don't think you can do it. As a family of three we spend about $700 a month on food. I really don't think you could get away with $60 for a month. A couple other things that I noticed....if your husband is the only one with a paycheck how can you be expected to pay for gas and food? That doesn't seem fair. Also if you are coming up short each month I do suggest sitting down with your husband and reworking you budget and cutting out things if you need to.

 

[crisi]

Sooo I think I'm pretty awesome and hardworking. I deserve a WDW vacation too!! Who's treating? I mean everyone deserves a vacation.

Vacation - you guys aim too low. I deserve this:

http://www.harrywinston.com/store/jewels/necklaces/diamond-necklaces/products/baby-wreath-necklace

My kids don't need college - they can take out loans. I don't need to save for retirement - I'll probably die young. We can drive beater cars. And we can eat pasta and rice and beans for a year or two...and its almost affordable.

 

[Patience]

I guess she could do it by using her meat, buying big bags of rice and cheap pasta, cans of generic vegetables, a few boxes of generic cereal and using powdered milk but I don't think she should do it. The kids deserve fresh food and fresh milk. They deserve that more than they "deserve" a Disney trip and, unfortunately, it does appear to me, based upon her other posts, that the OP may have been using grocery money to buy Disney gift cards instead of groceries.

 

[twooley2]

I love how so many people think they are just the perfect spenders and planners and know all the answers to what should and shouldn't be done and what is right for people they know little about and are always quick to say they always make the right, most responsible and just decisions. Pleeeaasseeee...

 

[KigerKat]

Her "face value" included too much and not enough, especially considering that many people only read the first post (maybe the first page) then answer based on that information. Basically, she came to a group of people she doesn't know to ask for help. That doesn't give us all permission to attack her; however, it does make it more difficult to find a solution to her problem without more information. If we were sitting around a table with her, we would likely have some background information that we can use to help assess the situation (or invite her over to dinner some night this month). I have blatantly told people where their problem lies (ie my Mom's biggest financial problem is that she's still supporting my 24 year old brother and gives him pretty much whatever he asks for, which she knows but she doesn't care). Maybe the lack of compassion comes from the fact that we can't actually help. All we have is our words.

Anyways, I hope the OP has gotten enough constructive responses to adequately get her what she needs, whether that be making that $88 last for the rest of the month, or pull some more money from somewhere else....

I could very easily start a thread simply saying that I want to challenge myself to only use $100 for groceries and gas for the month of June and list what I have stocked up already to help out, and ask people if they think it's possible and ask for suggestions on how I could stretch it out for the entire month. I'd give it a page before people start trying to read between the lines and come to their own conclusions as to why I want to do this and start jumping on me about our four Disney trips this year. Others would start stalking other threads I've posted on to find out more background info to fill in the holes and start "helping" me by trying to find ways to criticize my lifestyle.

My point is that a lot of people on the budget board can be very high and mighty about how people they don't know spend their money. I didn't realize that to post a question on this board, one had to submit financial statements and a credit check. Perhaps it was the fact that the OP originally provided "too much" information was the downfall of this thread, but either way I (and very few others) tried to address the question she asked by offering some helpful ways she could either add to her small budget for this month or stretch it down the road.

I actually don't check this board that often, simply because of how mean people are on this board.

 

[TrueLove's1stKiss]

Op, you may be able to do it, although it would take extreme dedication. You may have to go to multiple different stores to get the best prices on what you need. I typically spend more than that on fresh produce each week, but if you use frozen and if you don't eat as much produce as us, maybe you can do it. I'd feed oatmeal daily for breakfast, and pbj, egg salad, tuna or left overs for lunch. You can do so much with a whole chicken & use the bones for homemade stock, which is full of minerals & you can make so many kinds of soups. My Dad hunts & saves me some venison bones so that I can make soup. If you have a hunter in your family ask them to save you some bones! I oven roast them before I boil them, which brings out mush better flavor. Soaking & cooking dried beans saves a ton, refried bean burritos are great! I'm really curious what you typically budgeted amount is for a month of groceries. Maybe you need to adjust it to reflect the raising cost of food. I have had to raise my budget because it got too tight for my comfort. Good luck and although this thread got off track I hope that you report back at the end of the month with good news!

 

[Lintasare]

I could very easily start a thread simply saying that I want to challenge myself to only use $100 for groceries and gas for the month of June and list what I have stocked up already to help out, and ask people if they think it's possible and ask for suggestions on how I could stretch it out for the entire month. I'd give it a page before people start trying to read between the lines and come to their own conclusions as to why I want to do this and start jumping on me about our four Disney trips this year. Others would start stalking other threads I've posted on to find out more background info to fill in the holes and start "helping" me by trying to find ways to criticize my lifestyle.

My point is that a lot of people on the budget board can be very high and mighty about how people they don't know spend their money. I didn't realize that to post a question on this board, one had to submit financial statements and a credit check. Perhaps it was the fact that the OP originally provided "too much" information was the downfall of this thread, but either way I (and very few others) tried to address the question she asked by offering some helpful ways she could either add to her small budget for this month or stretch it down the road.

I actually don't check this board that often, simply because of how mean people are on this board.

I don't think people are being mean. I think they are being honest and realistic. From what has been posted the OP is a poor money manager and constantly overspends the budget her husband gives her and then has to borrow from the next month's budget. At this point in their lives Disney vacations are a luxury and not a need, no matter who is paying. No one needs a Disney vacation. It is not the be all, end all vacation spot.

The OP needs to be more realistic. If she can't afford groceries and gas she cannot afford a Disney vacation.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I love how so many people think they are just the perfect spenders and planners and know all the answers to what should and shouldn't be done and what is right for people they know little about and are always quick to say they always make the right, most responsible and just decisions. Pleeeaasseeee...

I never claimed I'm a perfect spender. In my post above, I claimed I deserve a vacation. Thing is, I have more basic - standard living - expenses that I need to pay for first. I could put that money toward a trip instead... and maybe come home to find I've been evicted. But darn it, I deserve a vacation!

I'd give it a page before people start trying to read between the lines and come to their own conclusions as to why I want to do this and start jumping on me about our four Disney trips this year.

Tip: NOT having a vacation countdown clock in your signature when you requested the help - along with not sharing your inability to adhere to your budget month after month - would likely reduce or eliminate any treatment you consider unreasonable.

 

[Marionnette]

I love how so many people think they are just the perfect spenders and planners and know all the answers to what should and shouldn't be done and what is right for people they know little about and are always quick to say they always make the right, most responsible and just decisions. Pleeeaasseeee...

I may not be a "perfect spender" (whatever that means ) but I do know enough to not overspend my budget on a consistent basis. I don't plan costly vacations if I have other, more important things that my money should be spent on. I learned how to be that way from people who also knew how to prioritize their spending. If the OP takes the advice of the "live for today" crowd, then she will find herself between a rock and a hard place over and over again.

It was the OP who put her information out there and asked what she should do. There are some of us who feel that she should re-evaluate her spending and examine her priorities before she goes off buying Disney gift cards for what is certainly not a free vacation. That's called being a realist. If the OP doesn't want to take that advice, that's her decision but that doesn't mean we cannot express our opinion.

 

[SaraJayne]

I may not be a "perfect spender" (whatever that means ) but I do know enough to not overspend my budget on a consistent basis. I don't plan costly vacations if I have other, more important things that my money should be spent on. I learned how to be that way from people who also knew how to prioritize their spending. If the OP takes the advice of the "live for today" crowd, then she will find herself between a rock and a hard place over and over again.

It was the OP who put her information out there and asked what she should do. There are some of us who feel that she should re-evaluate her spending and examine her priorities before she goes off buying Disney gift cards for what is certainly not a free vacation. That's called being a realist. If the OP doesn't want to take that advice, that's her decision but that doesn't mean we cannot express our opinion.

I'll just add my agreement to what you said.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Before long everyone will have her post saying that they live on the street or live in a tent and they are panhanding on the corner to feed themselves...

Are you guys kidding or what?
Some telling her to go to the food bank for food.
Others telling her to cancel her trip to Disney.
Some are reading into it that she is having trouble feeding their kids.

I must be reading the post wrong:
As I thought she wanted advice on a budget board, on how to make it with the food she has on hand and with what little money she has set aside, without going over her budget.
That way she would be back on track next month.
Do you think she can make it? Which would be a no or yes...
I think some of the posts are rude when it comes to saying her husband is controling and or not giving her enough money to feed their family.

How would we know any of this? For all we know last month they could have ran short because they had to get their car fixed.
Some people don't want to use saving at any cost and will take from their food budget. Why? Because I think most people have a lot of money set aside for eating out, and for buying food. For all we know she could have 20k in saving...
I think the post needs to go back on track by answering her question on ways to help her make it through the month.
Not running her or her family into the ground about her going on a disney trip.
I know that mdsoccermom will pass judgement and that she will say she is irresponsible with her money. But I think we would better serve her by helping her with recipes or ideal on ways to cut corners. Just my 2 cents...

I couldn't agree with you more! I am just shaking my head while I'm reading all some of these awful posts. OP ignore 80% of the negative stuff posted here. Good for you trying to stay on budget. And I do not think the meals you've suggested (chicken, fish, porkchops and apples, frozen veggies, pasta, soup, fruit) are lacking in nutrition.

 

[Sabrefan]

OP here. To clarify, we are not deciding between food or Disney. DH, the only one in the house currently bringing in a real paycheck, can and will give me more money if I need it but it would be really nice to get through the month without a bailout. Not only will it clear out all the random stuff in the pantry but it means that next month I will have the entire amount (and we are going out of town for 2 weeks next month so most of our meals will be provided). Thanks for all your advice. Looking around the house, I am really thinking that I can do it or come really close. I don't really know what to expect with the gas. We are used to driving 2-3 hours a week for preschool and that ended last week. I just don't know what our new activities are going to be. The end of the school year and nicer weather means we have more playmates within walking distance though so that will help a lot. As far as food, it is mostly the little girls and I that I have to feed so I figure as long as I have some of the favorites available, we'll be fine (they can eat chicken noodle soup, minus the chicken, for literally 3 days straight). So far I need to pick up t.p., milk, peanut butter, spaghetti noodles, chicken broth, eggless noodles (littlest also allergic to eggs), bananas or apples and maybe a little bit of lunchmeat. Summer also means a lot of lunches at the park for us and I haven't yet perfected how to feed the little one, who won't eat bread or tuna, is allergic to eggs and peanut butter. Lunchmeat or at least chunks of chicken or ham is the only thing that I can really think to pack for her. If all else fails with food, the girls would probably eat spaghetti every night if I let them (and we even have a ton of deer sausage to add to it) and I could live on PB & J. It's going to be an adventure. But even if I don't make it the whole month, I'm sure DD and I will at least have fun being creative in the kitchen .

Instead of scrimping all month is it possible for you to work 5-10 hours a week starting next week? That would help you get through the last few weeks at least. If not I'd definitely look into breakfast for dinner, my kids LOVE this and it is an incredibly cheap meal considering you can get several pancakes out of a box of pancake mix. Good luck OP! Considering your freezer is full I think you can definitely do it!

 

[jdcri]

I'm just curious - how much less could you care?

LOL I suppose it is possible that I could care less than I do because I have not given it proper evaluation - if I tried really hard I could definitely care at least 40% less!! As a side note - I am an editor - I don't care about typos and lousy grammar on a message board - I worry about it all day long for work!!

 

[happygirl]

LOL I suppose it is possible that I could care less than I do because I have not given it proper evaluation - if I tried really hard I could definitely care at least 40% less!! As a side note - I am an editor - I don't care about typos and lousy grammar on a message board - I worry about it all day long for work!!

 

[beaucoup]

Your priorities are out of whack when vacation (a want) comes before basic living necessities like food, shelter & health (a need). That goes for everyone on the earth, not just people here on the DIS.

That goes for ANY want, not just a WDW trip.

NEEDS ALWAYS BEFORE WANTS.
That is so basic it is almost ridiculous in the context of this thread.

A one time WDW trip comes before food MONTHLY for the OP? seems that way.

 

[SaraJayne]

I couldn't agree with you more! I am just shaking my head while I'm reading all some of these awful posts. OP ignore 80% of the negative stuff posted here. Good for you trying to stay on budget. And I do not think the meals you've suggested (chicken, fish, porkchops and apples, frozen veggies, pasta, soup, fruit) are lacking in nutrition.

If you were familiar with the OP's past posting history, most of this thread wouldn't seem so "awful" to you.