teens WITHOUT cell phones, email

[mhsjax]

I can remember when I was in elementary school, sitting in the back seat whispering with a friend because we didn't want whichever parent was driving to hear what we were saying. And no, I'm sure we didn't have any earth shattering secrets that needed to be kept from our parents but whatever secrets we did have were still a big deal to us. Then one set of parents made the "No whispering" rule, and we started writing back and forth in a notebook while we were sitting back there. If texting were available then, we might have used that. It's not a matter of an inability to converse with the person sitting by you, it's a matter of not wanting to be overheard by the other person in the car. It might be rude, but it definitely isn't just a phone issue. It has very little to do with the phone, really - that's just the tool they're choosing to use. I don't think it's stupid. It actually makes perfect sense, if your goal is to keep the conversation from being overheard.


And yes, as a matter of fact I have had a texted conversation with my husband when we were sitting together in a booth by ourselves in a restaurant. He had previously told me about a soap-opera type situation going on at his workplace involving two married coworkers, one of whom was having an affair with another coworker. He wanted to warn me that two of the people involved were at the booth behind me without anyone else overhearing, so he texted me. I guess he was afraid I'd ask about the situation at some point over dinner, and I probably would have! If we hadn't had cell phones he probably would have written me a note instead.

Well that texting is different. You guys have to know what I mean. I have seen too many complaints about how people won't put don't their phone when they are doing things like shopping and how rude it is. Well just look around, the same thing can apply to texting. Just learn some manners, There is an exception to everything.

As far as the texting in the car, I guess I have to spell everything out. I get tired of typing. These girls were very young, they had phone because the parents worked, they weren't old enough to have anything secretive really, and they were leaving out another girl in the car that didn't have a phone. I would not have stopped any whispering they way I look at it they are talking, I think so many kids including my son, don't have a real handle on actual conversation. And texting isn't helping the situation.

As a side funny, I could have used texting 20 years ago, I was out to dinner with my mom and dad, I told her that I saw my boss over at the next table, for some reason when he walked by me and smiled she stopped him and introduced herself, he wasn't with his wife and he knew that I knew it. My mom had problems hearing and I could have sent her a text telling her not to say anything, that he was in fact having an affair, which we all knew and he admitted to at a later date. lol

 

[Robinrs]

This reminds me of a very sad story. We had cells phone call from an older gentleman who thought I was his daughter.
He called up up twelve times a day and night. After a while I stopped telling him he got the wrong number and just talked to him. I found out where his daughter worked and her name. He also told me his profession. I Googled his name and surprisingly he was a very famous Jewish diamond jeweler.
I contacted his daughter and she really had no idea her father was trying to contact her and after a few weeks she called back with the very sad story that her father was suffering from dementia and the family had no idea this was happening.
Thank God for cell phones.

No, thank God for people like you who took the time to do this!

 

[Scurvy]

Well that texting is different. You guys have to know what I mean. I have seen too many complaints about how people won't put don't their phone when they are doing things like shopping and how rude it is. Well just look around, the same thing can apply to texting. Just learn some manners, There is an exception to everything.

As far as the texting in the car, I guess I have to spell everything out. I get tired of typing. These girls were very young, they had phone because the parents worked, they weren't old enough to have anything secretive really, and they were leaving out another girl in the car that didn't have a phone. I would not have stopped any whispering they way I look at it they are talking, I think so many kids including my son, don't have a real handle on actual conversation. And texting isn't helping the situation.

As a side funny, I could have used texting 20 years ago, I was out to dinner with my mom and dad, I told her that I saw my boss over at the next table, for some reason when he walked by me and smiled she stopped him and introduced herself, he wasn't with his wife and he knew that I knew it. My mom had problems hearing and I could have sent her a text telling her not to say anything, that he was in fact having an affair, which we all knew and he admitted to at a later date. lol

Oh, yikes. How awkward!


I do know what you mean. Too much texting isn't a good thing, just like anything else done to excess or in the wrong situation. I think it's always a good idea to enforce limits and teach manners, especially when it comes to technology. But somehow on threads like this one, it starts to seem like some people think any phone or texting is too much for kids and they will automatically become obsessive or rude about it. (And I'm not necessarily referring to any posts on this thread - all the threads about this start to run together after a while!) My son rarely uses his phone except to text me or to call family members. Some other child might be addicted. I suspect most kids fall between the two.

I do think leaving the third child out was terribly rude. I haven't seen kids who have trouble with conversation once they started texting, but I do think if a parent notices that then maybe it's time to cut down on the texts.

For the record, I don't see anything wrong with a child not having a cell phone or not being allowed to text. (As long as they aren't always using other people's phones, at least.) I also don't see anything wrong with them having a phone, or being able to text. I think it ought to be up to each child's parents to decide whether the kids should have a phone, and no one else's opinion should really matter. No one should have to justify the decision they make for their own child.

 

[luvsJack]

Oh for goodness sakes! Why on earth does everyone get into such a snit over kids and cell phones?

My niece's husband rants all the time "DD doesn't NEED a cell phone! What do kid's her age NEED a cell phone for?" And he rants and raves some more. Then when his dd and my dd are together HIS dd uses my child's phone to call home. hmmmmm....

My child has a cell phone, she texts. Does she have conversations with me? Yep. Does she sit at the table and talk to me and her dad? Yep. Do her and her bff text each other in the car when one wants to point out a cute boy to the other without DH hearing it? Probably. THEY ARE NORMAL. Its not a big deal.

The level of communication that should go on with a person and others is important but I simply do not believe that texting is doing away with normal human interaction. (not near as much as the internet and message boards do )

Side Note: 3 girls together. 1 is going to get left out. Its just the nature of the beast, regardless of age. Texting or no texting it is going to happen. IMHO, the talk to have with them is about not leaving out their friend, not the texting. The other girl's feelings are more important than how they were communicating



When ds and dil were first married (not kids, of course) they would text each other when they were together in a room full of people. Just little "I love you" or maybe little private jokes. We all thought it was cute. They are able to communicate with each other and the rest of the world just fine.


I am sure if you go back generation by generation you will find some new technology that was said to be the "doom of society" and all morals and ethics and good manners were going to be out the window becasue of it.


BTW--Dd and her friends prefer text to talking on the phone because they can have conversations going with several different people at one time. They usually plan their weekends that way.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Yikes, this has taken a harsher tone than I had intended it to be. I really just find it unreasonable for anyone to assume another person (teen, adult, whatever) IS available 24/7 on text or constantly checking email. If someone (in this case a scout leader) needs to ask something last minute of someone he isn't readily familiar with, it is not a whole lot to ask to make an actual phone call. (In this particular instance, the dad/leader had already called me twice in the day, with no mention of "hey could you ask your son to bring XYZ".)


Folks have their right to do whatever they feel appropriate with their kids, their access to text, internet, whatever!

My son DOES have an email account but isn't even on a computer daily, so isn't always on to check it. He does know how to use it, can make attachments, groups emails and all of those "skills".

I don't (and my son doesn't) feel he needs a cell phone. His extra curriculars take meet afterschool, at church or at the library. All three have regular ol' nonpay phones kids can use to call home. All of these places are within walking distance (with my office right in the middle). Absolute worst case it's dark or raining or something, he has enough friends in the various groups to get a ride home with another mom if need be.

None of his extra curriculars use texting to get info out. (Good thing, because I don't "do" texting either.) I really am not worried about his social life and whatever he's alledgedly missing out on. His friends that have cell phones for the most part only have them for emergencies (eg don't even have texting on them.) I'm understanding that may not be a norm in other places, but it is here.

 

[Michelle and crew]

That works for you. No need to be snitty about others, however.

 

[mhsjax]

Just to let you guys know, that with all the arguing about texting, I did actually just text someone, she is at work and rather than disturb her I sent her a text. This is when it can be useful. See I can do it, I just don't like it.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Oh for goodness sakes! Why on earth does everyone get into such a snit over kids and cell phones?

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Just to let you guys know, that with all the arguing about texting, I did actually just text someone, she is at work and rather than disturb her I sent her a text. This is when it can be useful. See I can do it, I just don't like it.

This is my primary use also. My husband can then check and answer without losing total track. He has to have text for work, so that was why we got it, and i love it. I also check in with my pregnant friend and other homeschool moms. That way I can ask a quickie question without anyone feeling like they have to have a long conversation.

I just don't see why people feel superior (some not all!!!) for one or the other. It either works for you and yours or it doesn't.

 

[MichelleVW]

would you go to a restaurant with a friend, sit in the same booth or at the same table and have your conversation by texting?

No, but on a family vacation this summer there were times that I would text my kids/husband/or sister if I wanted to tell them something that I didn't want everyone else to hear!

 

[C.Ann]

Yikes, this has taken a harsher tone than I had intended it to be. I really just find it unreasonable for anyone to assume another person (teen, adult, whatever) IS available 24/7 on text or constantly checking email. If someone (in this case a scout leader) needs to ask something last minute of someone he isn't readily familiar with, it is not a whole lot to ask to make an actual phone call. (In this particular instance, the dad/leader had already called me twice in the day, with no mention of "hey could you ask your son to bring XYZ".)


Folks have their right to do whatever they feel appropriate with their kids, their access to text, internet, whatever!

My son DOES have an email account but isn't even on a computer daily, so isn't always on to check it. He does know how to use it, can make attachments, groups emails and all of those "skills".

I don't (and my son doesn't) feel he needs a cell phone. His extra curriculars take meet afterschool, at church or at the library. All three have regular ol' nonpay phones kids can use to call home. All of these places are within walking distance (with my office right in the middle). Absolute worst case it's dark or raining or something, he has enough friends in the various groups to get a ride home with another mom if need be.

None of his extra curriculars use texting to get info out. (Good thing, because I don't "do" texting either.) I really am not worried about his social life and whatever he's alledgedly missing out on. His friends that have cell phones for the most part only have them for emergencies (eg don't even have texting on them.) I'm understanding that may not be a norm in other places, but it is here.

The only thing that counts is that you do what you consider is correct for your family.. Follow your own instincts.. It really doesn't matter what anyone else says here.. They can do whatever they feel is right for their families and you do what's right (and by your standards, reasonable) for yours..

 

[mhsjax]

No, but on a family vacation this summer there were times that I would text my kids/husband/or sister if I wanted to tell them something that I didn't want everyone else to hear!

You are so bad, I think we could be friends. lol My favorite line from a movie, Steel Magnolias, "If you can't say something nice come sit next to me."

 

[mhsjax]

This is my primary use also. My husband can then check and answer without losing total track. He has to have text for work, so that was why we got it, and i love it. I also check in with my pregnant friend and other homeschool moms. That way I can ask a quickie question without anyone feeling like they have to have a long conversation.

I just don't see why people feel superior (some not all!!!) for one or the other. It either works for you and yours or it doesn't.

Funny thing was, she called 1 hour later I asked her if she got my text, she said nope just calling to tell you that I wouldn't be at our class tonight. I told her that I texted her the same thing. She laughed and said oh well, I will check later to see if I did get it. And she is a texter, she just didn't see it.

See with the crowd I run with, sometimes they text, usually they call. Somehow we get in touch with each other, we use any and all means necessary.

 

[MELSMICE]

seriously? 10 year olds? I don't think I'm that far out of the loop (DD is 10, I'm a girl scout leader and Sunday school director, know just a few kids there). I don't think I know any 10 year olds with a cell phone? Yikes!

For what it's worth, I don't have texting or internet on my cell phone either. Really only have it for emergencies.

I know 10 year olds that have cell phones. I'm sure there are reasons they have them.

I don't think kids use e-mail all that much to communicate with each other, but I do know that some high school teachers use it. College professors definitely use it.

I know that for myself, the best way to get a hold of my students that assist with dance class is either via text or Facebook. I can send out a mass text or a Facebook message instead of having to make 20 different phone calls. Makes my life easier!

I don't think there is anything wrong with the OP's son not having a cell phone or e-mail account, but I also don't think there would be anything wrong or shocking if tomorrow he told his mom that he wanted one.

 

[disykat]

Oh for goodness sakes! Why on earth does everyone get into such a snit over kids and cell phones?

Good question. Why on earth does it matter that some people don't have them? I totally agree it's a silly thing to be in such a snit over!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I know 10 year olds that have cell phones. I'm sure there are reasons they have them.

I don't think kids use e-mail all that much to communicate with each other, but I do know that some high school teachers use it. College professors definitely use it.

I know that for myself, the best way to get a hold of my students that assist with dance class is either via text or Facebook. I can send out a mass text or a Facebook message instead of having to make 20 different phone calls. Makes my life easier!

I don't think there is anything wrong with the OP's son not having a cell phone or e-mail account, but I also don't think there would be anything wrong or shocking if tomorrow he told his mom that he wanted one.

My daughter (13) and two of her classmates emailed each other pretty much daily this summer. She also emails her friends who live far away as well as family in that same situation (but I realize that is different).
She is the email contact person for her girl scout troop. THEY (the girls) chose to have one person be that and to get information via email rather than calls/texts (Facebook is out as we still have 2 12 year olds--one of the leaders wanted them just to set up accounts anyway but the girls themselves were not comfortable with it and their parents were very upset about that idea).

 

[browneyes106]

I know several teens who rarely use cell phones or don't have them. I have a cousin who has two teen sons and their cell phones are strictly for emergencies and if they are at home their cell phones have to be turned off and they can communicate with their friends through the landline or IM's. My neighbors have a 15 year old daughter whose cell phone isn't texting enabled. I have a few other teen relatives who don't use Facebook or MySpace.

 

[tvguy]

My kids go through e-mail accounts like I can't believe.
They have had e-mail accounts through our home Internet provider since 1994.
They haven't used them in years......(okay, even I get odd looks when I tell folks xxxx@prodigy.net)
They got Yahoo e-mail, they don't use it anymore.
They got G-mail,they don't use it anymore.
They went off to college, got and e-mail for life through the college email server.
Both switched colleges, now have a second email for life through a college.

 

[luvsJack]

Good question. Why on earth does it matter that some people don't have them? I totally agree it's a silly thing to be in such a snit over!

So true, so true. I don't know why we (and I include myself here) all feel that we have to justify why we do the things we do or don't do in our life.

 

[GJM]

My DS (10) has a cell phone as do most of his friends. It is great when he is outside playing or at his friends house. I just call him to come home.