teens WITHOUT cell phones, email

[HM]

My kids got pay as you go cell phones once they were in middle school and had after school activities. Go look at Kajeet.com for their plans. They both have emails and facebook accounts since a lot of teachers and clubs communicate that way now.

 

[KAMLEM]

My son is a freshman too and I can not imagine managing his emails and other communications. I think by the time they get to high school part of life is managing their own social life. Also, my son's teachers actively use email and websites as well as posting their grades online. They all have cell phones that they will answer for homework help and have asked the students to provide their numbers. Around here a kid without a cell phone is a fish out of water.

That's pretty much what I was going to post. I love being able to text my kids. My oldest DD is 16 and has just recently started going out with friends who drive. She texts me when she gets where she's going, when she's leaving to come home and quite often in between. She doesn't have a set curfew because we're able keep in touch throughout the night. Her life would be very different if that wasn't possible.

When the Deutsche Bank Championship was in town my girls worked at it and they are not allowed to bring cell phones to the golf course. They couldn't find a pay phone (I don't think they even know what one looks like!) so I had to sit in a parking lot for an hour waiting for them because they couldn't call me. Cell phones definitely make my life easier!

 

[MiniGirl]

I agree with you, I have seen this same situation posted a number of times on the dis...a poster will say, my kid doesn't need a cell phone, if they have to get in touch with me they can borrow a phone. So in other words, their kid does need a cell phone, but just one that the parent doesn't have to pay for.

Obviously, if their child is having to borrow one often, then yes. It is probably time to think about getting him one. However, if the child only has to borrow one occassionally, then I don't think it is a need. I would be one to say that my dd could just borrow one if she needed it. However, as of yet, she has never had the need to borrow one.

 

[DVCLiz]

I disagree. My dd just turned 11, and she truly does not NEED a cell phone. I also don't need to justify the whys of it either. However, I understand that there are other 11 yos out there who need/want/use a cell phone, and that is fine. I certainly don't think any less of them because they don't share my opinion. Our families are different. Our children's wants and needs are different. Just because my dd doesn't NEED (or even want) a cell phone doesn't mean that I feel all 11 yos are the same.

...but an 11 year old is not a teen, which is what this thread is about. 11 year olds are not making the same kinds of social plans that teens are. I didn't get my oldest a cell hpone until she was in high school - she was 14. The youngest got hers in 8th grade at 13.

And if you are not thinking less of parents who do choose to get their 11 year olds a cell phone, then you are a rare parent. Because almost every cell phone thread I've read on the DIS in the last 5 years has plenty of parents who take the judgmental route, and precious few who manage to express their opinion of them without sounding judgemental.

 

[DVCLiz]

Maybe I'm missing something, but sure looks like a case of pot calling the kettle black to me.

I probably didn't make myself clear. As I said above, on most cell phone/teen threads, the parents who choose not to get teens a phone are usually the most judgmental ones on the thrtead. Often they go start other threads about being "bad" parents because they won't get their teens a cell phone, or let them have a car, or let them eat ice cream for dinner, or make them go to bed at a reasonable hour, etc. Really any type of situation where a permissive parent might be willing to do something that a less permissive parent judges them for.

It just usually evolves into a parenting debate - at least that's what I most remember about practically every cell phone thread I've ever seen on the DIS.

Cost is certainly a family factor but it's cheap to add another line to a family plan and most teens I know can scrape together ten bucks a month for a family line. It doesn't seem to me that a teen cell phone is significantly impacting anyone's ability to save for college or take a vacation.

 

[mhsjax]

My 2 older kids have cell phones with texting. They don't have e-mails. We tried to set up an acct for DD but it got messed up. NO need for it really, the only things she does are cheerleading and tumbling. Both use parents e-mail only.

AS far as texting, DD does, but it is really funny because usually it annoys the crap out of her when people text her. She will just ignore it or go and turn her phone off completely. And yes she is very social and quite popular. She has face book and does nothing with it at all.

DS uses his for communicating with us when he is out and about, and that is about the only reason that I love cell phones.

As far as the kids getting together,in our neighborhood they still do it the old fashioned way. They hop on their bikes and ride around and get people together for fun.

 

[Scurvy]

Obviously, if their child is having to borrow one often, then yes. It is probably time to think about getting him one. However, if the child only has to borrow one occassionally, then I don't think it is a need. I would be one to say that my dd could just borrow one if she needed it. However, as of yet, she has never had the need to borrow one.

Since many people either don't have unlimited minutes or they buy pre-paid phones for their kids, I wouldn't want my child to borrow someone's phone unless it was a completely unforeseeable emergency. Some people plan for their kids to use someone else's phone occasionally, and they don't just mean in case of some once in a blue moon event like school closure due to floods, or the school phone being broken for the first time in 20 years. I assume you can't foresee any reason your child would need to use someone else's phone, so it makes sense that your child wouldn't need her own. The way I see it, if you can anticipate that your child will need to borrow a phone, it's time for them to have their own or for them to occasionally take one of their parents' phones with them. Another option would be for the parent to make arrangements with another parent to pay for whatever minutes their child uses on the other child's phone if it becomes necessary. I'd no more send my child somewhere planning for him to use another person's phone (without arranging it beforehand) than I would send him to school planning to get supplies from the other students or planning to eat part of the other kids' lunches.

 

[indimom]

I probably didn't make myself clear. As I said above, on most cell phone/teen threads, the parents who choose not to get teens a phone are usually the most judgmental ones on the thrtead. Often they go start other threads about being "bad" parents because they won't get their teens a cell phone, or let them have a car, or let them eat ice cream for dinner, or make them go to bed at a reasonable hour, etc. Really any type of situation where a permissive parent might be willing to do something that a less permissive parent judges them for.

It just usually evolves into a parenting debate - at least that's what I most remember about practically every cell phone thread I've ever seen on the DIS.

Cost is certainly a family factor but it's cheap to add another line to a family plan and most teens I know can scrape together ten bucks a month for a family line. It doesn't seem to me that a teen cell phone is significantly impacting anyone's ability to save for college or take a vacation.

Glad I was mistaken.

 

[golfgal]

A teenager not having a cell phone or Facebook these days would be the equivalent of a teen when we were teenagers never being able to use the telephone. This is HOW they communicate. It is your prerogative to get them one or not, but then don't get upset that your teen misses out on things because their friends forget they don't have a phone.

 

[disykat]

I'm always amazed by these threads. Post after post about how those of us whose young teens don't have cell phones are depriving them and then WE get called judgemental and accused of starting parenting wars.

 

[Disneyadore]

I'm always amazed by these threads. Post after post about how those of us whose young teens don't have cell phones are depriving them and then WE get called judgemental and accused of starting parenting wars.

Nobody is judging but the world has changed and it is not that safe cosy world we used to know. There are to many moments a child could need a phone.

Of course you could tell your child to ask her/his friend if she could use there phone.
Sorry but depriving a child a phone is the same as telling your child to buy a hors and cart when he/ she becomes sixteen. BTW My child got his first phone when he was eight years.

 

[Disneyadore]

A teenager not having a cell phone or Facebook these days would be the equivalent of a teen when we were teenagers never being able to use the telephone. This is HOW they communicate. It is your prerogative to get them one or not, but then don't get upset that your teen misses out on things because their friends forget they don't have a phone.

Looking back those parents that were against a cell phone always let there child use my child's phone to call when there was a problem.

 

[disykat]

Nobody is judging but the world has changed and it is not that safe cosy world we used to know. There are to many moments a child could need a phone.

Of course you could tell your child to ask her/his friend if she could use there phone.
Sorry but depriving a child a phone is the same as telling your child to buy a hors and cart when he/ she becomes sixteen. BTW My child got his first phone when he was eight years.

I tried several times to make sense of your reply, but I just couldn't do it.

 

[Disneyadore]

I tried several times to make sense of your reply, but I just couldn't do it.

Of course you have no idea what I mean. That is always the answer of those parents that tell there children use there friends/teachers/ strangers cell phone when there is a problem.
We have seen thousands of parents here that were furious when there children were denied the use of cell phones from there friends when they needed to get in contact whit there parents.

 

[disykat]

I hope you're having fun. I'm sure you feel better now. Thanks for making my point for me!

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

I don't understand the reason why a child without a car to drive and a license to do so needs a cell phone. I didn't get a cell phone until I had a car and my license when I was 16. I was required to work for the family business during the weekend in order to keep my cell phone every week, and to earn the money to pay the bill, I had 500 minutes a month, and I was limited to 250 texts a month. I was also required to work so I could put gas in my car to get to and from school, and to and from dance class three days a week. So in retrospect kids can go without a cell phone. Until a child has other responsibilities other than doing school work, house chores, and riding in a car to and from activities I don't see a need for any child to have a cell phone.

 

[Disneyadore]

I hope you're having fun. I'm sure you feel better now.

Nope not feeling better but being a responsible and caring parent that provides every possibility to give my child that are available.
Cell phones,face book, twitter, what ever is a very important part of modern life. BTW you use INTERNET although you could use Snail Mail to communicate.
I'm sure Ill get a special place in cell phone hell in the after life.

BTW we use radar,Ais,cell phones,walkie talkies,marine phone,GPS on a daily base so please don't tell me to go back to the Flinstone age.

 

[MoniqueU]

My 12,13 and 17 year olds all have cells and text all the time. Email not so much if at all. I am sure they have accounts but that is not how they communicate. This is just my recent take on email is that older people use it alot.. My MIL thinks it is the greatest thing since sliced bread, one of my best friends who is older then my MIL uses it all the time. Almost all my older friends and family do. I have one for shopping and sports announcements but thats it. If you can't IM me something or call my cell you don't know mehee that well. My kids don't use IM either though, all their stuff is on facebook. But I do worry about kids left out of the technology loop. There was a woman on here a few weeks ago asking about a talk to text program for her son as he didn't know how to type. I was flabbergasted as all my kids type fast, they have been on computers since about age 2 or younger. I can't see to text or I would and many businesses preter that as a way to communicate. I don't see what favors you are doing keeping him from that? I guess some people don't find it useful but under the right light I will text my son about changes in plans during the day while he is at school. It is easier to do that then call the office, have him called out of class, come to the office, call me then return to class all to tell him I need him to get milk on the way home because I can't drive.. Texting and email are not sinful, I don't see the need to keep your kids from it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Since many people either don't have unlimited minutes or they buy pre-paid phones for their kids, I wouldn't want my child to borrow someone's phone unless it was a completely unforeseeable emergency. Some people plan for their kids to use someone else's phone occasionally, and they don't just mean in case of some once in a blue moon event like school closure due to floods, or the school phone being broken for the first time in 20 years. I assume you can't foresee any reason your child would need to use someone else's phone, so it makes sense that your child wouldn't need her own. The way I see it, if you can anticipate that your child will need to borrow a phone, it's time for them to have their own or for them to occasionally take one of their parents' phones with them. Another option would be for the parent to make arrangements with another parent to pay for whatever minutes their child uses on the other child's phone if it becomes necessary. I'd no more send my child somewhere planning for him to use another person's phone (without arranging it beforehand) than I would send him to school planning to get supplies from the other students or planning to eat part of the other kids' lunches.

I completely agree with this.

I don't understand the reason why a child without a car to drive and a license to do so needs a cell phone. I didn't get a cell phone until I had a car and my license when I was 16. I was required to work for the family business during the weekend in order to keep my cell phone every week, and to earn the money to pay the bill, I had 500 minutes a month, and I was limited to 250 texts a month. I was also required to work so I could put gas in my car to get to and from school, and to and from dance class three days a week. So in retrospect kids can go without a cell phone. Until a child has other responsibilities other than doing school work, house chores, and riding in a car to and from activities I don't see a need for any child to have a cell phone.

Very few people NEED cell phones. They just make everyone feel safer (and be safer at times) and make it substantially easier for everyone to keep track of who is where, etc. Then again, no one NEEDS an iPOD or books to read for fun or a gaming system or an ice cream cone but lots of people like those things and have them. Why should some things ONLY be for needs
Anyway, I highlighted the part about riding in a car to see how you feel about the "need" for a cell phone for kids who are younger (in the case of my own kids 11 and 13) who do not get carted around to activities by their parents. My kids go to school in another city. To get home they walk a block to a streetcar, take that across town to the train station, take that to either the stop closest to our house (good weather) and walk about 20 minutes home or take it to the train station one town over (bad weather) and walk two blocks to catch another streetcar which lets them off two blocks from home. Depending on their schedule for the day (different classes get out at different times each day and if a teacher is sick there will be no sub but they often will then just send kids home early) and whether or not a streetcar comes along right away or they are waiting 10 minutes they can get home anywhere between 2:00 and 5:30. I feel it is much safer for them to call me when they get out of school and again when they get to the train station (so I know which train--those run every half hour) they will be on and about when to expect them. If they got out of school at 1:00 (then able to be home by 2:00 if they catch everything just right) and something terrible happened I would not even know to start worrying or looking for them or alert police or whatever until 5:30 if they had no cells to let me know they were out "early" that day. That would allow a bad person 4 1/2 hours to get away and hide evidence--which is waaay too long in my (overprotective) book.

Obviously, if their child is having to borrow one often, then yes. It is probably time to think about getting him one. However, if the child only has to borrow one occassionally, then I don't think it is a need. I would be one to say that my dd could just borrow one if she needed it. However, as of yet, she has never had the need to borrow one.

I am glad your DD hasn't borrowed others' phones. I disagree with you at what point she should have her own though--like the PP short of a major catastrophe, if your kid "needs" to use others' phones (even occasionally) she should have her own.

 

[aprilgail2]

seriously? 10 year olds? I don't think I'm that far out of the loop (DD is 10, I'm a girl scout leader and Sunday school director, know just a few kids there). I don't think I know any 10 year olds with a cell phone? Yikes!

For what it's worth, I don't have texting or internet on my cell phone either. Really only have it for emergencies.

I agree, I don't know any 10 or 11 year olds that have cell phones. .

My 10 year old daughter was one of the LAST kids in her 5th grade class to get a cell phone---I don't know where you all live but here it is very common for almost all 10 year olds to have cells! As far as email addesses my daughter has one of those too- her teacher emails her through that email address--why would I want to have to read the email, go get her and have her come and answer it on my computer and my account? She also writes back and forth to 2 of her teachers that she had in the grade school she went to last year on her own email.
And as far as the cell phone goes- I LOVE LOVE LOVE that she has one and carrys it... she will call or text when she rides her bike to a friends house and gets where she is going. If she goes to the park she will call when she gets there and when she is leaving for home. If she and a friend get dropped off at the movies she will call when its over to get picked up etc.....that cell phone is as much for me as it is for her! If drama club practice is running late at school she will call me to pick her up at 5 rather than 4 so I don't have to sit there for an hour waiting...its great!!!