Teens responsible for all purchases using monthly allowance...anyone do this?

[MrsPete]

For example: we do buy our kids winter jackets, jeans and sneakers (to a point). If my sons wear out their sneakers we don't make them save to buy a new pair but if they want the latest athelete 200 buck sneakers than yeah, they have to save for them.


It's a balancing act. One of my sons is a senior in hs. he has a senior trip to wdw in May, we will pay for his trip but he must save for spending money.

We've used that system too: If they want something I consider over-priced, I'll give them the amount I'm willing to pay, and they can choose to have what I consider reasonable . . . or they can put in the rest themselves.

We made a deal with our oldest back when she was a freshman. If she made straight As every semester we'd pay the whole cost of her senior trip and give her spending money. If she made all As and Bs, we'd pay the whole cost of the trip. Now she's a senior, and we're paying for a trip . . . and she thinks she "won" that deal! I'm thrilled with the results, and we've offered the same deal with our freshman.

 

[StitchBuddy]

I haven't done it yet, but am also thinking about it. My SIL is doing it with my nephew 16, because he was nickel and diming her to death. She gives him $100 a week. That sounded like a lot to me until she told me what all it has to go for, lunch, clothing, school pictures, camps, mission trips, gas, insurance and everything else you could possibly think of. He wanted her to stop by McDonald's and she asked him if he had money? She swears she is coming out ahead.

 

[TexasMouseFan]

We have a system, if my kids want money they have a list of chores they can do and a monetary value by each chore...

Do you mind sharing your list of chores and the value for each? My friends and I have been thinking of starting a system like this, but we have no idea how to put a value on each chore. TIA!

 

[beansmom]

Really? Dd8 and dd10 pick out their own clothes - I don't even bother to shop if they're not with me. I can veto something, of course, but they both have their own styles. They will only wear skinny jeans, no boot cut, and love to layer. Dd10 loves hats and boots.

yes, really. All people are not created equal and my 22 yr old daughter sometimes dresses like a pure-dee hooker. She was never allowed to dress provocatively but it is her natural bint. I hope she grows out of it someday.

 

[coastiewifern]

When I was 11 my mom set up a checking account in my name and started giving me money that I had to use to pay for most things: clothing, haircuts, parties, movies/entertainment. They paid for my school supplies including any sports costs. They bought me a new winter coat each year and I was given a lump sum in August for back to school clothes. I have to say this was such a good lesson for me. I consider myself VERY responsible with money. I have no debt and a good amount saved for retirement given the salary I've made. I think if your child is approaching you she is showing great maturity and you should do it for sure!!! BTW I don't remembering my mom ever vetoing anything. By 16 I had a part time job and she never interfered with what I bought. Trust me I pushed the limits sometimes. I am sure that wasn't easy for her but I now appreciate that.

 

[Bungle]

My oldest earns money for things like movies and games by working around the house or helping out neighbors and relatives. When it comes to close shopping time I set a limit, tell him what he HAS to have (like 3 shirts, one short, one pair of shoes) and let him figure out what he wants to do with it. Any money left over after what I specify he usually spends on tshirts with dorky sayings on the front. He knows that anything inappropriate will go back. This works really well for us and while he enjoys the freedom I enjoy letting him express himself. Why not do a trial run? If there is anything she needs at the moment why not let her go shopping and see what she comes home with?

 

[AllesonWonderland]

Over the summer I read Mary Hunt's 'Debt Proof Your Kids' and she had a system like this. I think it started out smaller scale, parents still bought majority of the items and kids used their funds for 'fun' stuff, and as they got older they ended up getting more money and having to be responsible for buying everything.

Right now I have DD on an allowance plan where I pay her on the 1st and 15th. (I was horrible at remembering to pay her weekly) She still has her 4 slot piggy bank with places for spend, save, donate and invest, so she continues to divide her allowance in that way. (We switched to envelopes for spend and save for easier retrieval. LOL) She knows what I'll pay for clothing, so anything above and beyond that she can chip in, or save for. And, like others have said, she's more frugal with her funds. DD: "Mom, will you buy me this necklace?" Me: "You have money in your spend envelope." DD puts necklace down.

Also, I stopped tying allowance to chores awhile back. DS was great about doing stuff to get his allowance. DD decided she didn't want to clean her room and didn't care if she didn't get paid. So, now we're in the 'chores are a part of being in this family' camp. I guess DD's room can stay a pit as long as it doesn't spill out into the rest of the house. heehee She does have to clean it if she wants to go somewhere or have someone over, so it still gets done.

 

[mom2d&b]

Just this school year I put my foot down about the money my kids were spending at school buying all the extra's for lunch. In August, I looked at how many school days there were for August and September and determined how much lunch money I was willing to provide. I deposited it into each of their accounts. I left them know how much was there and it was their responsibility to spend it wisley. I told them I will replenish the account on October 1st. If they run out of cash in their account, they will need to pack a lunch. DS still has money left, DD11 is out of money. She is now talking about her plan going forward for buying lunches. Of course, instead of packing her lunch, she could always spend her allowance on lunch but she is not willing to do that. How quickly they learn!

 

[sk!mom]

We do this with DD15's spending money. Dh transfers a set amount to her account every two weeks. It has to cover lunches, going out with friends, and any other extras. It doesn't cover clothes or personal items.

We started this at 13 and it has worked great. She's learned to budget and to pass up things that she doesn't really want to have money for more important things- she never buys soda when she eats out- water only. She realized that what she enjoys is being out with friends and drinking water every time rather than a $2 soda means that she can go out more often.

I think that it is very important to set a realistic amount. Think about how often your child goes out and give them enough to work with. DD15 never runs out.

If she's out with us, we do not make her pay. At 15, she might choose to skip outings with the parents if it had to come from her money We don't require anything from her to get the money. She's a great kid with excellent grades so we haven't needed to set a lot of requirements.

As far as clothes, I give her a budget when she needs something or just wants something that I'm willing to buy. I gave her a $200 budget for back to school. She spent it as she wished. She knows the school dress code so I wasn't worried about what she would choose.

She has spent 5 weeks living in a college dorm the past two Summers and had experience then with a budget that had to cover all needs. She managed that well too.

 

[monkey30]

My mom did this with me as a teenager, and man did it make me more aware of money and how much everything costs. Everything came out of the allowence, field trips, treats, movies ect. To be honest it took time but I got the idea of saving a bit. And by mid month I tended to spend more time at home!

I saved for a special item, and still learned how to have fun, just on a budget!

 

[Candlz]

I read a book on this by Mary Hunt called Debt Proofing Your Kids.

I wish I had read it before DD was a teen - I think she would have done really well with it!

 

[AllesonWonderland]

Just this school year I put my foot down about the money my kids were spending at school buying all the extra's for lunch. In August, I looked at how many school days there were for August and September and determined how much lunch money I was willing to provide. I deposited it into each of their accounts. I left them know how much was there and it was their responsibility to spend it wisley. I told them I will replenish the account on October 1st. If they run out of cash in their account, they will need to pack a lunch. DS still has money left, DD11 is out of money. She is now talking about her plan going forward for buying lunches. Of course, instead of packing her lunch, she could always spend her allowance on lunch but she is not willing to do that. How quickly they learn!

I do this too!

 

[DuchessOnWheels]

Just this school year I put my foot down about the money my kids were spending at school buying all the extra's for lunch. In August, I looked at how many school days there were for August and September and determined how much lunch money I was willing to provide. I deposited it into each of their accounts. I left them know how much was there and it was their responsibility to spend it wisley. I told them I will replenish the account on October 1st. If they run out of cash in their account, they will need to pack a lunch. DS still has money left, DD11 is out of money. She is now talking about her plan going forward for buying lunches. Of course, instead of packing her lunch, she could always spend her allowance on lunch but she is not willing to do that. How quickly they learn!

What a great idea! We have a new lunch program this year and now my daughter wants school lunch every day. Gets a bit spendy. I'll share your plan with DH and see what he thinks. I love ingenious learning tools. Thanks!

 

[MrsPete]

Just this school year I put my foot down about the money my kids were spending at school buying all the extra's for lunch. In August, I looked at how many school days there were for August and September and determined how much lunch money I was willing to provide. I deposited it into each of their accounts. I left them know how much was there and it was their responsibility to spend it wisley. I told them I will replenish the account on October 1st. If they run out of cash in their account, they will need to pack a lunch. DS still has money left, DD11 is out of money. She is now talking about her plan going forward for buying lunches. Of course, instead of packing her lunch, she could always spend her allowance on lunch but she is not willing to do that. How quickly they learn!

This may be the most important point on this thread. You saw a specific problem with your kids' spending, and you came up with a plan to help them learn better skills. My own kids have never been into buying "extras" at lunch -- so I've never had to make a big deal about lunches, but they can both go through an iTunes card in no time flat, then regret their purchases. Targeting your kids' specific problem issues is smart.

 

[eliza61]

We have a system, if my kids want money they have a list of chores they can do and a monetary value by each chore...

Do you mind sharing your list of chores and the value for each? My friends and I have been thinking of starting a system like this, but we have no idea how to put a value on each chore. TIA!

Generally I'm not a "Pay for chores" advocate. IMO chores are require for living anywhere. why do you get paid for them. or look at it like this, does some one pay you for cleaning out the tube after you took a bath in it.

My kids have/had what I call basic chores since they were about 4 or 5.
For example. cleaning their tubs after bathing, taking out the garbage for trash day, walking the dog (hey you wanted the dog, guess what, you got a dog ) feeding the dog, scraping your dishes after eating, washing dishes, sweeping.

These are normal chores that need to be done to ensure that the house runs so they don't get paid for that.

Now I will have "projects or extras" that they can do to earn money.
for example: washing the cars, washing windows, stuff like that.

 

[gilby]

Our kids were responsible for paying their cell phone bill, it was not a necessity to have it, it was a want. We felt if they could afford the 9.99 a month for the service, plus 19.99 for texting, but they began this when they got their first job. We didn't believe in paying kids to help around the house doing chores. I don't think kids need to be paid for everything they do. Our kids have very good work ethics, compared to other teens their age. I work with teens and they are lazy think they should be paid more for the little work they do. They don't go above and beyond what is expected of them.
Our youngest daughter has worked at the same place for 3 years and works 30 plus hours and has never called in sick.

 

[PatsMom]

I didn't tie my daughter's allowance to chores. Housework was just something that you did because you lived here and you were a member of the family. When we were living with my mother for a few years while building a retirement home, my mother did pay her to shovel the driveway and walkways when it snowed. Gave her the same amount she was paying another teenager.

When she started high school we got serious about allowances and budgeting. I provided the basic necessities but if she wanted something fancy it came from her money. I bought clothes from the JC Penney clearance racks - if she wanted brand name, she paid the difference. Same with shoes. Basic groceries were always in the house and her Dad cooked dinner every night. But breakfast and lunch she was free to make or buy at school. We budgeted what it would cost for a simple breakfast and lunch at the school cafeteria. Her bus got her to school about 40 minutes before class started so she had plenty of time to eat there.

She quickly figured out that granola bars and peanut buter sandwiches were part of Mom's grocery budget and meant that her spending money went up. If she made lunch and grabbed a granola bar, she had extra money for clothing, make up, entertainment, etc. I had a policy of not loaning her money. I did pay for big extras like the school trips to Quebec City and France. But she was responsible for spending money.

When she got her drivers license, we agreed that we would pay her insurance while she was in school. I also gave her a raise in her allowance for gas. This was because it was much more convenient for us to have her drive to school. We all slept later in the morning and she didn't need to be driven to after school get togethers. We live pretty far out in the woods so that saved me a ton of driving! And my old car had around 220,000 miles on it so we bought me a new one. She's still driving that old car and she is now a junior in college!

She is very responsible with budgeting her money. She is still responsible for all her miscellaneous expenses and has a summer and part time job to cover that.

 

[sk!mom]

This may be the most important point on this thread. You saw a specific problem with your kids' spending, and you came up with a plan to help them learn better skills. My own kids have never been into buying "extras" at lunch -- so I've never had to make a big deal about lunches, but they can both go through an iTunes card in no time flat, then regret their purchases. Targeting your kids' specific problem issues is smart.

Very good point. I've noticed that since we've given her a personal budget, my DD15 has become much more discerning in her purchases. If it's mom's $20, it spends easy. Now that the money is hers, I've often heard her say, "I'll be sorry tomorrow if I buy XXX today."

Her new awareness has benefitted me as well. When I take her shopping and I'm paying she's very good about realizing what she really wants and avoiding purchses of things that might be worn once.

 

[Acklander]

When my older son was about 13 we started making him more responsible for his purchases. For clothes we gave him a set amount for before school and a set amount in the spring and he was responsible for all purchases, having to pay for any overages out of his own pocket. Around that time he got a part time job with a local business so since age 13 he's been responsible for all personal purchases, entertainment and so on. I think the only stuff we paid for from our money was the clothing allowance and groceries.
DS11 currently is responsible for any video games, books, toys and entertainment with friends etc... We don't give an allowance or pay for chores (that's part of living in the house where every one contributes) but we do pay for grades. He gets $10.00 for every A and we double it if he gets all A's. So he has the potential to earn $140.00 each quarter. In a couple of years (when he starts high school) we plan on his getting a clothing allowance, taking over all his other expenses etc....

 

[gwendolyn1200]

I think we should give young children the concept of financial management training.