Teens/preteens, the mall, weeknights... My mind is made up, but what's YOUR policy?

[Barb D]

DD12 wants me to take her and her friend to the mall tonight. This is a first. (We did take her friend to the mall with us once for Christmas shopping, but this time they want to "just hang out.")

I said no, and DD is not pleased with me. My mind is made up, but I'm curious what other parents' policies are. Do you allow your teens/preteens to "hang out" at the mall on a school night? On a weekend night? Not at all?

 

[Planogirl]

I wouldn't mind if my 13 year old son went to the mall with a friend or group but I would only allow it early on a week night and then after I made sure that his homework was done. Our mall has a theater, a Barnes & Noble and so on and we actually both love to hang out there.

 

[Mermaid02]

At 12 years old? No way.

 

[Sandy V.]

I never took my kids to the mall to "just hang out".

There is a movie theater attached to our local mall, and I would occasionally drop them off with their friends 20 minutes before a movie started and pick them up RIGHT AFTER it ended. They were 12 or 13 at the time. We never had any problems.

 

[MagicalMom]

My DD is going to be 15 this summer. I drop her & her friends off at the mall sometimes, on weekend nights only. We don't live too far from the mall so I figured I'd drive her before she gets the crazy idea of walking there via the highway, cause if I lived here when I was her age I know I would have tried it!

I spied on her a few times at first. She knows better than to try anything like hoping into some boys car & running off with him because I just might decide to pop into the mall at any minute. Our mall is small enough that I can find her pretty quick.

 

[DVCLiz]

I never let my daughters go to the mall without a parent - I believe DD finally did go with friends when she was old enough to drive herself!!! I just felt our mall was "sketchy" and a hangout for older kids from all parts of town. It wasn't that I felt something awful would happen, but that she very well might run into a situation with older kids that she couldn't handle.

That said, she had a good alternative in a local shopping center. It has a movie theater, Barnes & Noble, coffee shop, etc. as well as all the preteen and teen faves (Limited Too, Gap Kids and Gap, Victoria's Secret, etc.) She and her friends were allowed to go on one block for an hour on the first day, then gradually they were given a little more freedom. They could eat lunch and shop for an hour, then be picked up by a parent. I think this started when they were around 12 - summer after sixth grade, if I recall. Now DD12 is beginning to do this.

But never at night - I don't know WHEN I'd feel comfortable letting them do that!!!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

our mall isnt in the best neighborhood, so we never went to hang out...i still dont like going there at night or on the weekends by myself and im 21..its just a scary place!

 

[Reflection]

I've done this with my daughter 12 and one of her friends. I did not vote because my category is:

On weekend 'afternoon' with drop-off/pick-up (but my version of drop-off/pick-up is that I drop off but remain in the mall. They are free to go to the stores they are interested in without me tagging along, but we all meet at a specific time at a designated place).

This has worked well with no problems.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Our mall has a policy that teens must be with a chaperone/parent at night. I love it.

Jackie

 

[minkydog]

I have never allowed my kids to just "hang out" at the mall with no supervision. I have taken them with me, let them walk around with friends for an hour(with cellphones), had them meet back up for ice cream, but no dropping off for several unattended hours. I wouldn't let them go hang out at someone's house whom I don't know either.

My kids think I am the most hateful mother on earth.

Except now my 19 is starting to get it. His 12yo little sister is 'blossoming' and he is having a fit. Just wait 'til he has kids of his own

 

[Christine]

No, the mall is not for hanging out and our mall discourages it. Although that doesn't stop anyone. I've been "bucking" this particular trend for two years. Stick to your guns--teens don't need to be loitering in a shopping mall.

 

[Daxx]

Our mall has a policy that teens must be with a chaperone/parent at night. I love it. Jackie

Most of our malls have the same policy and it's posted on all mall entrances. I love this policy b/c it keeps the kids in check and the mall doesn't get out of hand. If your 18+, you can be there w/your friends ... if you're under 18, you have to be there w/a parent/guardian. This rule has really cut down on the obnoxiousness that goes on.

 

[mamacatnv]

My DS is 16 and "hanging out" at the mall is something we have never let him do, and would not have considered at 12. In our house weeknight activities are limited to school related (sports, plays, band concerts etc..)

Weekend activities depend on grades and how tired he really is from school/sports. We try to make sure he has some down time during the weekend to recoop from the previous week and gear up for the one coming up.

Last summer at age 15 we let him go hang with some friends at "Hot August Nights" to see the cars, but the curfew that the city imposes was strictly followed. He goes to the movies, ice skating, out for ice cream, bowling, etc with a group, we require that there is always a destination with a time frame and a plan.

Our mall is fairly small and I don't like to see the groups of kids just hanging, so it is something I have never allowed.

This is another one of those great parenting dilemmas, some will, some won't, some might - not necessarily right or wrong but what works for your family. Stick with what you are comfortable with. This will be one of the many times that your teen will not be happy, but oh well, you are the parent and are not being unreasonable.

IMHO - MamaCatNV

 

[lyeag]

Nope, never. DD is going on 14, and hanging out in the mall is not even a question. I don't know about your mall, but have you been at a mall on a Sat or Fri night? There are some scary "kids" hanging at the mall. Our mall has a theatre and I the gang banger wanna bees coming crawling out of the woodwork on those nights.

 

[Mickey Mouse Kid]

I'm 15, just turned 14 a couple of months ago, and I just started going to hangn out with friends at the mall. Now, when I ask she will usually bring me, and now I am starting to go over to friends houses more often also. At the mall, my parents don't really want me there too late, so I get picked up after my mom gets off of work at around 5:00. But if it's a friends house on the weekend, she usually wants to get me around 8 or 9.

 

[dmslush]

DD 14 and a couple of her friends will hang out on weekend nights at the mall for about an hour before the movie starts (which is right next to the mall). Our mall is about the lamest place on earth, so I don't worry too much about her. They usually go to the bookstore, Claire's, and Bath and Body works, then head over to the mall. If there were sketchy characters or anything like that, I wouldn't allow it.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Our mall has a policy that teens must be with a chaperone/parent at night. I love it.

Jackie

Ditto for here too. I think it's wonderful.

 

[Anne34]

I've done this with my daughter 12 and one of her friends. I did not vote because my category is:

On weekend 'afternoon' with drop-off/pick-up (but my version of drop-off/pick-up is that I drop off but remain in the mall. They are free to go to the stores they are interested in without me tagging along, but we all meet at a specific time at a designated place).

This has worked well with no problems.

We just started doing this with my 7th grader. The girls are 12/13. I or another mom will stay in the mall and only in the afternoon.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Not at night. Not for a 12 year old.

During the day with friends in the summer or on weekends, OK. I only hang around if I have shopping to do.

...but that's just me.

 

[daisyduck123]

No hanging out at the mall. That is trouble waiting to happen IMO.

My DD11 (7th grade) has never asked to hang out at the mall.
All of her friends are 13 & they don't hang out at the mall ( or anywhere else )either. They just go to each other's houses on the weekends.