Teens/Pictures on Facebook - WWYD?

[DVCLiz]

Suppose you were sitting at your computer, minding your own business, and suddenly up popped a series of pictures of one of your daughter's friends. Let's say she was visiting her cousin at college for the weekend. Let's say she is 17 years old. And let's say she was...oh, I don't know...drinking Cuevo shots with some college boy who then tagged her in all the photos.

You happen to be friends on Facebook (and in real life) not only with this girl, but also with her mother. Would you:

Call her mother and say, "Make sure you look on my FB page so you can see your daughter! Looks like she's having a fun time visiting colleges this weekend?"

or: have your own daughter text her and say, "Untag yourself - my older sister says its not a good idea to have that kind of picture on Facebook during college admission season?"

or: mind your own business completely - if she's dumb enough to keep them up she deserves to get busted for them.

 

[cornflake]

Suppose you were sitting at your computer, minding your own business, and suddenly up popped a series of pictures of one of your daughter's friends. Let's say she was visiting her cousin at college for the weekend. Let's say she is 17 years old. And let's say she was...oh, I don't know...drinking Cuevo shots with some college boy who then tagged her in all the photos.

You happen to be friends on Facebook (and in real life) not only with this girl, but also with her mother. Would you:

Call her mother and say, "Make sure you look on my FB page so you can see your daughter! Looks like she's having a fun time visiting colleges this weekend?"

or: have your own daughter text her and say, "Untag yourself - my older sister says its not a good idea to have that kind of picture on Facebook during college admission season?"

or: mind your own business completely - if she's dumb enough to keep them up she deserves to get busted for them.

Option C!

 

[wilderness01]

Mind my own business. Even with good intent, you will get burned. Trust me.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'd probably go with option 2 and ask your daughter to ask her friend to untag herself.

Several of my son's friends (and my son) have friended me on Facebook and I see and read things I wish I didn't, but it's rare that I say anything at all to my DS. His friends are usually smart about the things they post, but some friends of friends? Oh my.

 

[sam_gordon]

Show the pictures to DD. This accomplishes two things (hopefully)...

1) DD will have yet another reminder (one closer to home) to be careful how you behave because you can end up on FB without your knowledge.
2) SHE can tell her friend "uh, I saw pictures of you on FB, you might want to take care of them."

 

[Kellydelly]

Mind your own business . She will see the photos soon enough.

 

[Acklander]

Mind your own business . She will see the photos soon enough.

Exactly. It's not as if you ran into a top secret stash that they should be aware of, it's posted on facebook. They know.

 

[Hannathy]

Mind your own business . She will see the photos soon enough.

yep

 

[aprilgail2]

I would just mind my own business!

 

[DVCLiz]

I know the friend saw the pictures. What I'm wondering is whether you would help bust her or save her from herself. She participates in a sport at school and has signed a pledge not to drink or she will be off the team. It's also college admission season and having pictures of yourself on FaceBook downing shots isn't what I would consider helpful to the cause if an admissions counselor happens to check out your page. Also, if her mom (who is not her friend on FaceBook) happened to visit my page today she would have seen those pictures - otherwise she probably won't ever know anything about it.

I was just curious if DISers would keep their mouths shut or in some way have the girl untag herself - which is what I did. i showed the pics to my daughter and said, "Text her and tell her to untag herself before she gets busted." Which my daughter did, and a few minutes later got a text back saying that she had asked her cousin to take them down but had ended up untagging them herself.

This is a friend but not a close friend. Still, I hate to see her busted for being stupid. My policy has been to keep my mouth shut unless I see something actively dangerous - getting in a car with a driver who's been drinking, etc. I have seen a lot over the years but I have only intervened once when a friend of my older daughter's was doing some truly stupid things - and then only with her, not her parents. I'm usually a mind my own business kind of parent.

 

[momto2inKC]

Mind your own business . She will see the photos soon enough.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[undertheradar]

Myob

 

[ilovejack02]

I know the friend saw the pictures. What I'm wondering is whether you would help bust her or save her from herself. She participates in a sport at school and has signed a pledge not to drink or she will be off the team. It's also college admission season and having pictures of yourself on FaceBook downing shots isn't what I would consider helpful to the cause if an admissions counselor happens to check out your page. Also, if her mom (who is not her friend on FaceBook) happened to visit my page today she would have seen those pictures - otherwise she probably won't ever know anything about it.

I was just curious if DISers would keep their mouths shut or in some way have the girl untag herself - which is what I did. i showed the pics to my daughter and said, "Text her and tell her to untag herself before she gets busted." Which my daughter did, and a few minutes later got a text back saying that she had asked her cousin to take them down but had ended up untagging them herself.

This is a friend but not a close friend. Still, I hate to see her busted for being stupid. My policy has been to keep my mouth shut unless I see something actively dangerous - getting in a car with a driver who's been drinking, etc. I have seen a lot over the years but I have only intervened once when a friend of my older daughter's was doing some truly stupid things - and then only with her, not her parents. I'm usually a mind my own business kind of parent.

It worked out well... that is prob the way I would have handled . I stay out of other parent issues too unless I know it is something really dangerous . My old neighbors who I was at one time very close with , but now , just friendly with . No reason, but we moved , hard to keep up. Their DD17 has multiple pictures up of her with a beer in hand , and other kids too. No one passed out or doing anything really crazy, but they all have booze in hand. I was astonished as this was even when she was 15. I haven't said one word to Mom or Dad and even noticed eventually they are friends with her on FB. Crazy kid doesn't even have FB private . Blows me away. She was on Homecoming court last week, I know her district is very strict on this kind of thing , if someone in the school higher ups sees this , she will be in sooo much trouble at school. SMH.

 

[luvmy3]

Option 3 for me.

 

[krcit]

I would have done what you did.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

MYOB. My god daughter put up pictures on myspace of her drinking beer when she was 13 or 14. I told her mother (my best friend) and I became the bad guy lying about her daughter. Our relationship has never been the same.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Option 3. Interfering with other people's kids never goes well. Plus, if you saw the picture the mom probably did too.

 

[scrapquitler]

or: mind your own business completely - if she's dumb enough to keep them up she deserves to get busted for them.

 

[ckay87]

I have a lot of teenagers as FB friends and this has actually happened to me. If it were a kid that I don't know well, I'd just let it go. Occasionally it will be a kid I know very well.

Best thing with a teenager is to make the smallest deal possible. I just private messaged her and said "you might want to untag yourself from *Mike's* pictures." Period, end of it. She did so and we never discussed it.

Oh there WAS one other time when one teenage friend tagged another teenage friend doing something really dumb (pot, I think). And it just made me so mad. I commented "Are you freaking kidding me? This is do dumb." and within minutes the picture was gone.

Oh yea, FB is a wealth of information. I wish I could live in ignorant bliss like my parents did!

 

[Pigeon]

Myob.