Teens, parties and drinking

[MrsPete]

Can I ask why is this seen as a moral or religious issue?

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the law, underage drinking IS illegal; thus, it IS breaking the law. And more than one religion insists upon total abstinance from alcohol.

 

[MrsPete]

Oh, I'm awake - but the problem is, with teens, they always think - This will never happen to me, bad things happen to other people.

I agree that teens always have and always will think this way; that's why it's up to parents to enforce healthy boundaries for them. Some of those boundaries deal with alcohol.

 

[Andy B]

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the law, underage drinking IS illegal; thus, it IS breaking the law. And more than one religion insists upon total abstinance from alcohol.

I was making a genuine request for enlightenment so please treat my request politely. So you are saying that it is moraly wrong to break the law, I understand that. I would not condone anyone breaking the law. My point possible was not totally clear, I was wondering wht it seemed to some that drinking at any age was a moral issue.

I would not have thought that many of the posters here would belong to a religion that prohibits alcohol totally however if they di then I understand that.

 

[MrsPete]

Other than that, I can't really see why it's that bad for a 17 year old to drink.

I agree that drinking and driving is the MOST IMMEDIATE problem with teens and alcohol, but it's not the only issue:

The earlier a person drinks, the greater the chance he will become an alcholic as an adult -- this is well documented. Why chance that? A 17-year old's body isn't finished growing (especially if you're talking about a boy); the internal organs have a good ways to go yet, and they can't handle alcohol the same way an adult's body can handle it.

A 17-year old doesn't have the same judgement that an adult has. Even if he is smart enough not to drive, plenty of studies show us that teens engage in other risky behavior while they're drinking -- things that they might've thought twice about if the hadn't been drinking. These might include physically risky things (I know a high school senior girl who was sure she could jump off a 2nd floor hotel room balcony; she did her senior year from a wheelchair). Unprotected sex, of course, is high on the list. For boys, getting into fights after a couple drinks is often an issue. For girls, putting themselves into dangerous situations (i.e., being alone with boys they barely know) is a big danger. Yes, adults do these same foolish things while drinking, but teens do them at a greater rate.

And finally, it is against the law. Whether we agree or disagree, we do have the responsibility to obey the law.

We all know that alcohol isn't good for any of us, but it's exponentially bad for teens in several ways.

 

[kdudley3]

I'm also surprised you're surprised....you never went to parties in high school where drinking was involved?? I graduated in 1974 and there was drinking (and more) at parties then.

It's important for your daughter to know what your values are and what your safety rules are. You don't want her drinking BUT, if she does, you don't want her driving drunk or getting into cars with other kids who are drunk.

Same here. I graduated in '84 and drinking was common. My parents allowed me to have a party and I was told if anyone was drinking that they'd have to stay the night.

My parents always told me to call if I needed to be picked up because someone was drinking.

Heck, they used to have a courtyard in the High School for smokers.

We got busted at the Winter Formal for drinking beforehand. Not saying it was right, but it wasn't as big of a deal back then as it is now.

Now that I have an 18yo, I make sure he doesn't find out about what his father and I did all those years ago !!!

Although, I met my DH my senior year and we're celebrating 21 years on Valentine's Day !!!

 

[MrsPete]

I was making a genuine request for enlightenment so please treat my request politely. So you are saying that it is moraly wrong to break the law, I understand that. I would not condone anyone breaking the law. My point possible was not totally clear, I was wondering wht it seemed to some that drinking at any age was a moral issue.

I would not have thought that many of the posters here would belong to a religion that prohibits alcohol totally however if they di then I understand that.

That wasn't meant to be insulting -- just factual, a genuine attempt at enlightenment. You may agree with the law, you may disagree with the law, but it still IS the law. That, in my mind, is a very strong reason NOT to allow teens to drink. If you allow them to break this law, aren't they going to consider other laws "flexible" as well? If you strongly disagree with it, you have the right to work towards changing the law, but as long as it is the law, it should be obeyed.

Maybe you don't live in the South, but more than one church here promotes total teetootlerism -- I'm not sure that's actually a word now that I've typed it. Also, out West the Mormons are total abstainers. It may be different in other parts of the country. SOME kids will choose not to drink because of their religion.

 

[Andy B]

That wasn't meant to be insulting -- just factual, a genuine attempt at enlightenment. You may agree with the law, you may disagree with the law, but it still IS the law. That, in my mind, is a very strong reason NOT to allow teens to drink. If you allow them to break this law, aren't they going to consider other laws "flexible" as well? If you strongly disagree with it, you have the right to work towards changing the law, but as long as it is the law, it should be obeyed.

Maybe you don't live in the South, but more than one church here promotes total teetootlerism -- I'm not sure that's actually a word now that I've typed it. Also, out West the Mormons are total abstainers. It may be different in other parts of the country. SOME kids will choose not to drink because of their religion.

I live in the South of England. I accept that some religions make this a rule but many do not have any problem with moderate drinking, indeed Jesus at the wedding in Canan turned water to Wine not the other way around, and a number of non chrsitian religions proscribe alcohol made from certain ingredients not alcohol itself.

 

[MrsPete]

I live in the South of England. I accept that some religions make this a rule but many do not have any problem with moderate drinking, indeed Jesus at the wedding in Canan turned water to Wine not the other way around, and a number of non chrsitian religions proscribe alcohol made from certain ingredients not alcohol itself.

In the Southern US an awful lot of people do not drink alcohol at all. No wine with dinner, no champagne on New Year's, no alcohol at weddings, no beer while watching the Superbowl . . . NOTHING.

This argument is supported with the fact that wine back in Jesus' day was treated differently; pure water was a constant problem, and wine was considered a beverage then. Those who support this theory argue that wine was a necessity then; it's different now, and at the same time, the dangers of alcohol have grown as the strength and potency of alcohol has increased. And, if we're using the Bible as evidence, it's important to remember that God punished several people in the Bible for drunkenness -- I know, I know, the Bible promotes moderation, not drunkenness, but we all know that some people are unable to drink in moderation. I don't think anyone would argue that abstaining completely is a bad or unhealthy choice.

 

[freckles and boo]

I live in the South of England. I accept that some religions make this a rule but many do not have any problem with moderate drinking, indeed Jesus at the wedding in Canan turned water to Wine not the other way around, and a number of non chrsitian religions proscribe alcohol made from certain ingredients not alcohol itself.

The problem in the US, as I see it, is binge drinking by teenagers and the "coolness" associated with it. MrsPete nailed most of my arguments - poor judgment and risk taking are charateristic of most teens whether they drink illegally or not. After drinking four or five or six beers any good sense they may have had is seriously compromised. Risky and foolish behavior is more likely to happen resulting in sexual assault (or consensual but regretted sex), drownings, drunk driving, alcohol poisoning, etc... . Additionally, those who begin drinking at a young age are much more likely to have health and addiction problems down the line. Teenagers are notoriously moody and alcohol is a depressant. Too much alcohol is tough on anyone's body, but it can really create problems for kids. And it is illegal. There are plenty of reasons to be concerned.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I COMPLETELY disagree with the "thats just what teens do" mentality. There are many teenagers who are simply responsible enough to recognize the consequences of that kind of behavior. They abstain, and there is absolutely no problem with that.

I agree.

My DH was a teen who never partied and never drank

I had a brief time when I partied some (like 2 times) that was enough for me. (I think I was 15 once, 17 the other time.)

I think we get in a lot of trouble when we start going "kids will be kids, teens will be teens, boys will be boys." A lot of real peoples are just excused as normal behavior when doing this. Can you say date rap? How many times was it just brushed off as "teens will be teens, boys will be boys?"

Teenage drinking is a very real problem. While it has always been around (as long as there has been alcohol) I think the problem is more so now a days.

I also think that parents not allowing it and not expecting it helps along with education and increased expectations.

My kids are young, still this issue does really concern me. It will be my problem before I know it. My niece and nephew are 15 and 16. We talk about it often, but I worry about them. More so my 16 year old nephew.

 

[Andy B]

In the Southern US an awful lot of people do not drink alcohol at all. No wine with dinner, no champagne on New Year's, no alcohol at weddings, no beer while watching the Superbowl . . . NOTHING.

This argument is supported with the fact that wine back in Jesus' day was treated differently; pure water was a constant problem, and wine was considered a beverage then. Those who support this theory argue that wine was a necessity then; it's different now, and at the same time, the dangers of alcohol have grown as the strength and potency of alcohol has increased. And, if we're using the Bible as evidence, it's important to remember that God punished several people in the Bible for drunkenness -- I know, I know, the Bible promotes moderation, not drunkenness, but we all know that some people are unable to drink in moderation. I don't think anyone would argue that abstaining completely is a bad or unhealthy choice.

The intake of a glass of red wine a day has beneficial effects.

Monks in Europe were among the first to brew beer and in some regions the profession was indeed a reserved occupation of the Holy in the past.

 

[Kath2003]

I have to respectfully disagree with you. If you are getting drunk once a week, I don't believe that it is part of a healthy lifestyle. I do think that's excessive. JMHO

I really don't think it is. I'm never drunk until I'm sick. I'm never hungover. I've never woken up anywhere other than where I purposefully put myself to bed. I've never missed a class as a result of drinking. I've never been late or called in sick to any of my three jobs as a result of alcohol. I drink socially only, never alone and I don't have a car so I have to walk everywhere - no worries about drink driving. I'm not overweight and I've no health problems. I study 40 hours a week AND hold down 3 jobs AND manage to enjoy myself socially. How am I leading an unhealthy lifestyle?

I drink *significantly* less than the vast majority of UK University studies (because I am an old postgrad at 22 ).

 

[PrincessTiff]

Oh for crying out loud it's a figure of speech. In other words, it's not common for a person to consume alcohol as a teen AND abstain from sex until marriage.

Wow!! I am one in a million? That made my day!!

ETA: My husband is, too!!

Don't get too full of yourself there.

 

[kaler27]

And finally, it is against the law. Whether we agree or disagree, we do have the responsibility to obey the law.

I know we're mainly talking about letting teens drink at parties, and I know you weren't singling anybody out, but several of us who drank as teens did so legally. In many states it's legal to drink underage if a parent or guardian is present and gives consent. Actually according to the MADD site (http://http://www.madd.org/Laws/law/?LawID=YCON) underage drinking is apparently legal in private residences in New Jersey and Louisiana regardless of parental consent. I didn't know that.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Actually, from my experience with my peers when I was a teen in high school (late 90's/early 00's... not that long ago and not much has changed, if it's not gotten worse), I think you need to worry more about teen drug use than teen drinking. As a teenager, I saw my friends do some stupid, stupid things while they were high. STUPID things!

It's now (in our mid-20's) that they do the stupid things while drinking.

 

[Saxsoon]

God asks us to follow the laws of this world, as well as his. Plus I believe there is a passage saying for one not to lose one's control over their body. Alcohol can cause one to lose control.

For me, it is a mixture of common sense, religous reasons, and the fact I am just scared of what my parents would do.

 

[NotUrsula]

It doesn't surprise me at all that UK posters find it hard to believe that there are large numbers of US teens (older teens, that is) who have never had alcohol. In the UK, most teens who could say that would be Muslim -- maybe some Methodists, but mostly Muslims. Being a Christian and a teetotaler is a fairly unusual combination in most of Europe, especially among the college-age crowd.

Conversely, many Americans have no idea how unusual it is that we have such ironclad drinking age laws here. Except in majority-Muslim countries, most drinking age laws in other parts of the world are pretty laxly enforced, and often only apply to purchase, not consumption. In majority-Catholic countries, especially, it would pretty much be impossible to ban underage drinking in private homes.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

underage drinking is apparently legal in private residences in New Jersey and Louisiana regardless of parental consent. I didn't know that.

It is also legal for members of a private club to drink on premises of the private club if over 18 but under 21... when they raised the drinking age in LA I was in college and not yet 21- but it didn't change much because we just filled out paper work at the bars and became "members" -some issued cards, others just kept a list at the door- but it was a "lifetime" membership lol

There used to be a loop hole in the pre-21 drinking age law that made it illegal to purchase alcohol if under 18 but not illegal to possess/consume it if under 18.

I also believe they have something with military in Louisiana that those over 18 and under 21 in the military can purchase and legally consume alcohol with a military id

We also have a thing called "To Go cups" which are at the doors of bars- you pour you drink in the to go cup and take it with you when you leave.

We also have drive through liquor places and drive through daqueri places- the open container law is satisfied by a piece of masking tape on the cups lid and the establishment not putting the straw in the cup

Of course this is also the place that had Blue Laws that were strictly enforced until about 10 years ago- these laws prohibited the purchase of alcohol on Sundays- this was later relaxed to allow beer and wine but nothing stronger.

 

[Alyssa88]

Actually, from my experience with my peers when I was a teen in high school (late 90's/early 00's... not that long ago and not much has changed, if it's not gotten worse), I think you need to worry more about teen drug use than teen drinking. As a teenager, I saw my friends do some stupid, stupid things while they were high. STUPID things!

It's now (in our mid-20's) that they do the stupid things while drinking.

I think it depends on the drug. I mean, most of the drug use among that crowd is marajuana. You are too lazy to do a damn thing. It isn't good for your lungs or diet for that matter (munchies) but it is not addicting. It slows your body down and although your thinking is certainly different (in some cases more philosphical, lol), it isn't enough to change your behavior (at least from what I know). Marijuana is probably the safest substance, except for the fact that it can harm your lungs.

In upper class areas you may find other, more extreme drug use. Those are cases to really worry about.

 

[PrincessTiff]

God asks us to follow the laws of this world, as well as his. Plus I believe there is a passage saying for one not to lose one's control over their body. Alcohol can cause one to lose control.

For me, it is a mixture of common sense, religous reasons, and the fact I am just scared of what my parents would do.

That's great, if you actually believe in god.