Teachers.....I have a ? for you.

[Miller1412]

Your husband may be like me. I try hard to let parents know that scheduling conferences is the way to go, but I'm also a softy and I'd find it hard to turn someone away. Particularly when a "couple of minutes" turns into 40 minutes later.

Last year I had gone into the bathroom to change into workout clothes (a good 1/2 hour after the kids had left for the day) when in comes a parent interested in kindergarten for the following year. She and her son had been playing outside on the playground and decided to come in and "take a peek". 1 hour later of me telling her about the curriculum in my sweats and ratty t-shirt...

I seriously need to grow a backbone!

 

[lilostitch]

It sounds like your DH has a hard time telling people no. I can't imagine that a parent would feel put off by, "I'm so sorry that I can't speak to you now. But I do want to meet with you. Can we schedule this for another time or talk via phone/email?"

Great advice. I have never had a parent be upset or ugly with me when I've approached it this way.

 

[lilostitch]

I think he should be the one to say " I would really like to continue this conversation but I am on my way to catch the train, call tomorrow and set up a meeting." I understand there are times where he HAS to deal with parents but I am speaking on a regular basis. He coaches, he goes to extra cirrucular events that his students invite him to, he goes in during vacations to prepare for when they return. He logs into his his school work site on the weekends to do work. I know he is a dedicated teacher and I am soooo proud of him but I just wish his work/life balance was a little more even.

I think he could also use the 5 year old DD as an excuse. He could say, "I'm so glad you want to meet, I want to meet with you as well. I've got to get my DD home though, can you meet tomorrow during my office hours ___________?"

 

[lilostitch]

Well, Grandma shows up with a man who is the child's psychotherapist and he proceeds to tell my sister (teacher of the year at her school in her 5th year) that he is offended by her teaching practices and that she needs to do x, y and z for this child because he's had a difficult life. None of her faculty members were present to defend her, and she has never been more upset in her life about anything (her words.)

Your parameter ideas are good ones. I would also advise anyone who gets in a situation where you are alone with a parent, etc. where they are attacking you verbally; end the meeting immediately. Try something like, "I am uncomfortable continuing this meeting at this time. I would be happy to meet with you again when another faculty member (an administrator) can be present."

As a side note, I am an elementary counselor, and I think the psychotherapist was VERY unprofessional to attack your sister that way. A good therapist is there to bring sides together to help students, not drive divisions between the two sides.

 

[LittleMissMickey]

I am a first year teacher going through the same thing as your husband. Luckily I bought a house a mile away from my school to save myself the 45 minute commute! Parents call all the time, and I had several ask at my Kindergarten Orientation why I wasn't willing to give out my home phone number. I am 23 years old and I don't even have a land line! If it were a special situation, I would be willing to give it, but I am not going to give my cell phone number over to my 36 kindergartners' parents so they can call me whenever they choose. I am usually at school until at least 6:00 p.m., and I get there at least one hour before school starts at 7:00 a.m. There is plenty of time in there to get in touch with me. I just recently came to the conclusion that I am deserving of my own life, too. Believe me, half of the things parents come to me for are not worthy of the 40 minutes I spend talking to them! They are lucky that I (in most cases) like them and (always) love their kids!

I hope your husband finds a plan that works for him. I think that if he were to say he was available on Mondays and Thursdays after school for an hour to entertain parents' questions and concerns, and that otherwise it was a "by appointment only" deal that he would make his job easier!

I hope I don't sound crabby, but this has been an issue in my home, too! My boyfriend and I had a lot of troubles for a few months there with my never being around!

Ashley

 

[daisyduck123]

I wonder why parents feel the need to talk with him so often.

I send home a weekly bulletin letting parents know what is going on in my classroom....maybe that's why I rarely get stopped in the hall, or outside the building to talk with parents, etc. I mean hardly ever.

Even if my parents did want to talk with me, they probably couldn't find me...I'm gone about 5 minutes after dismissal (usually). I come in very early & do all of my prep. for class then.

 

[declansdad]

Parents call all the time, and I had several ask at my Kindergarten Orientation why I wasn't willing to give out my home phone number. I am 23 years old and I don't even have a land line! If it were a special situation, I would be willing to give it, but I am not going to give my cell phone number over to my 36 kindergartners' parents so they can call me whenever they choose. I am usually at school until at least 6:00 p.m., and I get there at least one hour before school starts at 7:00 a.m. There is plenty of time in there to get in touch with me. I just recently came to the conclusion that I am deserving of my own life, too. Believe me, half of the things parents come to me for are not worthy of the 40 minutes I spend talking to them! They are lucky that I (in most cases) like them and (always) love their kids!

I hope your husband finds a plan that works for him. I think that if he were to say he was available on Mondays and Thursdays after school for an hour to entertain parents' questions and concerns, and that otherwise it was a "by appointment only" deal that he would make his job easier!

I hope I don't sound crabby, but this has been an issue in my home, too! My boyfriend and I had a lot of troubles for a few months there with my never being around!

Ashley

Do yourself a favour and never give out your home phone number.

 

[mickeyfan2]

He could try "I would love to speak to you, but my daughter is hungry and we need to get home for dinner. Please call me in the morning and we will setup an appointment."

 

[lilostitch]

Do yourself a favour and never give out your home phone number.

Ditto this response!

They can call and leave messages for you at school and they can e-mail. There is no reason for them to call you at home.

 

[darrose]

If he is telling his students parents they are allowed to contact him after work it is a hubby/wife issue in my mind. I suspect he is part of the equation to this.

 

[HonestAbe]

I can see from your POV how this is upsetting. However it sounds like he is very dedicated to teaching which is really a good thing. I would say do your best to support him as getting in trouble for this situation doesnt make it any easier for him. You can bet he wants to be home with his family. I think a nice calm conversation might help you express your concerns, but please try to be as rational as possible. It's hard when you are so emotionally invested to do that but it should have a big payoff.

 

[Wishing on a star]

He gets home between 6-6:15 normally because his school has a longer day ..... When he is getting home late, we are talking 6:30 - 7:00 because the next train is 45 minutes later.

I have not read all of the reply's here... But, the time he is expecting to 'get off' from work was the big million dollar question that I was going to ask!

I whole-heartly agree with you. I think that your DH is keeping very generous hours. (How nice that he shows such concern for his students and their parents!!!) It is definately not to much to ask of him try to be home by 6:00 - 6:30!!!!

Now, for the teachers who are like "I am out of here at 2:45...."
I will let those two emoticons speak for themselves, and reserve further comment.

 

[Wishing on a star]

If he is telling his students parents they are allowed to contact him after work it is a hubby/wife issue in my mind. I suspect he is part of the equation to this.

Yes, definately!
Especially with their little 5 year old involved.

Prioritys and respect for family seem a bit skewed here.

 

[daisyduck123]

Now, for the teachers who are like "I am out of here at 2:45...."
I will let those two emoticons speak for themselves, and reserve further comment.

I usually leave immediately after my students...but hey, I come in 2 hours EARLY to do my planning. Yes, I'm there at 7 a.m....school begins at 9 a.m.

Please don't flame teachers for leaving right after the students unless you know the circumstances.

 

[lilostitch]

I usually leave immediately after my students...but hey, I come in 2 hours EARLY to do my planning. Yes, I'm there at 7 a.m....school begins at 9 a.m.

Please don't flame teachers for leaving right after the students unless you know the circumstances.

You said it

I know a lot of teachers who stay at school to work late, but I also know a lot of them who would rather pick their own kids up, spend time with them, and do their work once their kids go to sleep.

I take EVERYTHING I can home. I have a computer there, and time with my own children is very valuable to me. I can do the "paperwork and prep." at home, after family time.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Our schools officially begin at 7:45. But, the busses begin arriving at the school at 7:00a.m. Many teachers are there earlier. (and that's not for their so called 'planning'.)

My question as a parent is: Just when in the heck am I supposed to be able to see you as my child's teacher.

this kind of attitude is short sighted and selfish. It shows a complete lack of respect for the school, the job, and especially the parents.

You know, many parents work... There is such a thing as after-school care, or day care, or relatives to keep the kids, etc... But, hey, I suppose that doesn't apply to teachers? I guess you are also immune to after school bus duty, hall duty, extra-curricular activities, etc.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I take EVERYTHING I can home. I have a computer there.

So, these wonderful, dedicated, caring, teachers see this as a "work from home" opportunity?

 

[daisyduck123]

So, these wonderful, dedicated, caring, teachers see this as a "work from home" opportunity?

Let's not turn this into a "bashing" teachers thread. You obviously have no idea about teacher's contracted work hours. If you have a specific problem with a teacher, you need to take it up with the teacher. If you get no results, then contact the principal. Enough said.

 

[declansdad]

My question as a parent is: Just when in the heck am I supposed to be able to see you as my child's teacher.

If you had read all the post, you would have seen that most of the teachers here have said how and when parents could contact them. I would think if nothing else was said, you could at least call and make an appointment in order to see your childs teacher.

 

[In a hurry]

Our schools officially begin at 7:45. But, the busses begin arriving at the school at 7:00a.m. Many teachers are there earlier. (and that's not for their so called 'planning'.)

My question as a parent is: Just when in the heck am I supposed to be able to see you as my child's teacher.

this kind of attitude is short sighted and selfish. It shows a complete lack of respect for the school, the job, and especially the parents.

You know, many parents work... There is such a thing as after-school care, or day care, or relatives to keep the kids, etc... But, hey, I suppose that doesn't apply to teachers? I guess you are also immune to after school bus duty, hall duty, extra-curricular activities, etc.

1st grade teacher here. I am at the school from 7:00 until 3:15 every school day, and take paperwork home every night. That gives about 1/2 hour on either side of my day at work for parents, etc. Just how long do you think teachers should be there for you and your needs?

Do you hang out at our job after hours just in case someone wants to talk with you? Frankly, I think your attitude shows a complete lack of respect for the school, my job, and especially the teachers.