Teachers how about a PARENT Rant

[mommystieg]

i was surprised when "shopping" out preschools for my kids at how many ban laced shoes alltogether and only want slip on or velcro. i understand it's much easier for the staff, but boy howdy it's hard to teach tieing when they don't have to do it every time the put on their shoes!

You mean the schools actually banned shoes that tie??? Wow, that's a new one. And you're right, it is really hard to teach them to tie shoes when most of their shoes don't tie.

 

[In a hurry]

You know, if the assignment wasn't appropriate for the grade level, it shouldn't have been assigned, IMO. (Re. science fair.) I agree that parents should know what their kids are learning, and give hand with difficulties, or let a teacher know if a difficulty is seen, but the parent doesn't know how to deal with it. Otherwise, kids should be responsible for their own work.

 

[barkley]

You mean the schools actually banned shoes that tie??? Wow, that's a new one. And you're right, it is really hard to teach them to tie shoes when most of their shoes don't tie.

yup-no ties, no sandles (might get their toes squished), no buckles (might scratch another child while playing), no boots (too much work to pull off and put on)-so it was basic either tennies with velcro or 'deck' shoes.

 

[taramarie]

As a preschool teacher I would like to say that I am happy that somebody stood up for us!

My complaint is that even though they are young, I still have rules in my class that when they are broken I expect the parent to support my classroom rules and discipline their child when they get home....at least talk to them about what they did wrong.

I have sent specific notes many times to have the child come back and brag that nothing happened to them and they act twice as bad! I don't want the to get the dog dookie beat out of them!!! I just want them to show a little respect for my classroom.

 

[BelleMcNally]

I am not a teacher but I have friends that are. They have only been teaching since Sept. but they will agree to all of this. I think something happened between when I was in HS (just graduated college in May) and when I started college. When I was in HS most parents cared about their kids and respected the teachers. Yes, there were a few of the bad ones but most actually parented.

I graduated in May as well and have heard the same thing--not only from my friends who just started teaching, but from my old high scool teachers as well. I had tea with one if my teachers during the holidays, and she just kept saying how much harder it was to teach than just a few years ago...I couldn't believe the things she described some of her students doing (the lack of respect, blatant disregard for the rules/academics)...

I wonder what's happening?

 

[Cindy B]

I graduated in May as well and have heard the same thing--not only from my friends who just started teaching, but from my old high scool teachers as well. I had tea with one if my teachers during the holidays, and she just kept saying how much harder it was to teach than just a few years ago...I couldn't believe the things she described some of her students doing (the lack of respect, blatant disregard for the rules/academics)...

I wonder what's happening?

I think I may be able to tell you. I graduated high school in 1988, a long time ago. I am in college right now, about a year or so from graduating with a teaching degree. So there has been a long block of time.

In that span, some parents are getting younger and dare I say, a little less mature. This time span was the 80's me generation, and the 90's self esteem valuation movement. So, you have kids that are in the tail end of 80's me generation --not only the kids, but the parents as well, and the 90's things as well. Much social not academic promotion was going on as well.

Some of these younger parents and students were byproducts of the excessive 80s. Parents were getting high paying jobs, which in turn overcompensated for thier kids by handing them everything on a silver platter. This was repeated a bit again in late 90's-early 00's with the dot com things being in vogue. Many parents are now both working, which leaves high school student at home alone after school (or doing something they shouldn't be doing).

Some parents are also byproducts of lassiz faire parenting by the previous generation. Say grandma didnt really care about academics and worked all her life, and didn't pressure the mother into honing great academic skills. Mother then gets the attitude of "I didn't need precaluculus in my life, why shoudl I bother?" and takes the easy way out such like the grandmother. Mother then has a child and these attitudes are passed down another generation. I see parents that don't care or understand the importance of academics. Most of these parents are younger parents as well, or can be very older parents with much older children that are adults... maybe the child is a mid life baby.

There is a definite lack of responsibility with kids. Parents need to impress responsibility to thier children. There are way too many parents that bail out thier kids whether its a homework assignment or an attempt to bribe a principal in order to "erase" a permanent record decision. Maybe parents want to overcompensate for working too much, maybe they don't want thier life to be as hard for thier own children, or maybe they honestly don't want to be embarrassed or show up a reputation.

Kids do need to be taught responsibility. If my son or daughter does something wrong or has a consequence in school, I say well you still need to do the consequence whether its a rewrite of the report or to serve the detention.

 

[In a hurry]

Cindy, I think you hit one half of the issue. I think the other side is that so many parents are older. They have only a child or 2 and think that the sun rises and sets on him/her. There are fewer sibs putting a kid in his place at home, so he tends to agree with that assessment! Add that to the fact that parents live vicariously through their kids, and you have chaos. ...I always wanted to take ballet, horseback riding, art and soccer...so little Janie is going to get to do it... Kids are overscheduled and put on a pedestal that is not helpful for anyone.

 

[kcork1026]

I am such a bad parent.....once my daughter just REFUSED to do her homework after I asked her to do it 5 times, I gave up and the next morning she wanted to rush and I would not let her do her homework , I took her to school that day and told the teacher what happened and to give her recess detention so she could do her homework. Never again she has refused to do it.

IMO you are an amazing parent, your daughter learned a valuable life lesson and should one day thank you for it!

 

[mickeyboat]

As a preschool teacher I would like to say that I am happy that somebody stood up for us!

My complaint is that even though they are young, I still have rules in my class that when they are broken I expect the parent to support my classroom rules and discipline their child when they get home....at least talk to them about what they did wrong.

I have sent specific notes many times to have the child come back and brag that nothing happened to them and they act twice as bad! I don't want the to get the dog dookie beat out of them!!! I just want them to show a little respect for my classroom.

I am glad you posted this. It is also tough on our end when a child is misbehaving at school, especially when they are very young.

Emily was a biter. My sitter would call me at work whenever she bit to tell me what she had done. I was frantic to find something that would get her to stop. But the most effective discipline would have been done at the time she did the bititng. Talking to her and punishing her 6 hours later really had no effect on her behavior.

This year in K, they tend to deal with behavior issues in the classroom. I haven't gotten one report this year specific to my child about bad behavior - and I know they aren't angels by any means. I did get a note home about Emily's entire class acting up, but when I talked to Emily about it, she said it wasn't her. Then what should I do?

If the teachers ask me to address behavior issues, I would be happy to work with them on it. But it's frustrating when you are not there at the time the kid is acting up.

Does that make sense?

Denae

 

[mommaU4]

You know, you parents are msising the point.

I think that these examples are not "once in a lifettime" events or unusual occurrences. They are not you, Mskanga, having a hard time with your kid one night, sharing the info with her teacher and working with the teacher to show your child that actions have consequences, with the result that your child learned a lesson. These are the parents who don't give a hoot whether or not their kids do their homework, then blame the teacher when the kid isn't doing well.

But, it is interesting to me that now that the shoe is on the other foot (parent bashing as opposed to teacher bashing)how much offense you are taking to what the teachers have to say, and how personally you are all taking it.

Payback's a "witch".

This thread just makes me sad. I don't know why there has to be bashing on either part. I had no idea there was such feelings going on with either party. I respect my kids teachers and know how hard their job is. I thought/hoped they felt the same. I'm sorry to see that isn't always the case.

How about the parents who call to find out what they can do to raise a child's grade AFTER report cards come out. (mind you, these are the ones who never seemed to make it to conferences)

I guess I am guilty of this. I have never missed a conference but it was still a shock to me when my son's report card was sent out last Monday and his social studies grade went from an A- to a C+. I was shocked. I had no idea he was struggling and as soon as I saw that I sent a note to his teacher the next day asking if she could contact me at her convenience either by phone, letter, or email so we could discuss what his specific areas of trouble were. (I of course also spoke to my son about the situation as well, I just wanted her input on the matter.) I'm hoping to hear from her soon.

 

[barkley]

the whole shoe thing brought this to mind (and my kids were terrible at losing shoes-it's one of the reasons they now have to "check" their shoes at the hall tree when they enter the house )-

i had a friend in highschool-for the first 15 years of her life her parents were in the peace corps and she lived in very remote african villages where shoes were not worn. as a result her feet were not well suited to wearing shoes when she returned to the u.s.. her parents found that when she tried to wear shoes (of many different styles and varieties) her feet would cramp up and in same swell terribly. her parents consulted with doctors who recommended that she wear something that would "mold" to her foots countours. well, back in the 70's only birkenstock sandles seemed to fit the criteria-they were still painful but not crippleing. our highschool had a no sandle dress code and mandated tennis shoes for sports. the parents asked to work with the school and ultimatly both the parents and the school decided to allow her to walk up to the school property line bare footed, then put on the birkenstocks for the remainder of the day. for gym class she was allowed to wear tennis shoes that had some slits cut in them to help prevent as much pain and swelling. i thought/think this is a great example of parents and teachers working together for the best interests of the child.

flash forward to last year at my kid's private school. a child was enrolled and it was quickly noted that the minute he got to school he kicked off his shoes and would refuse to put them back on-for anything (recess, gym...). the teachers went round and round with the kid, then round and round with the parents who kept defending the kid saying "he just does'nt like to wear shoes-never has, it's his "personal choice" maybe he'll grow out of it some day-but we will support him in it now" (the kid by this time was a 3rd grader). the child was ultimatly expelled from the school because it was such a huge safety issue that the school would not chance the child being injured on thier watch. we later learned the reason the child had enrolled mid year was because the public school had the same issue with the child/parents and the parents were pursuing legal action because while the public school rules said children had to wear appropriate shoes TO school it did not specificaly say the shoes had to be worn IN school this is think is an excellent example of parents working against teachers.

 

[swilphil]

I haven't read the entire thread, but a couple of bad parent moments stick in my head. The worst was the mom who showed up to school drunk and threatened to beat my a**. Then there was the parent who complained about the C her son received on his paper because SHE wrote it.

 

[Chicago526]

I'd just wanted to say, that I admire teachers. Doesn't hurt that my best friend is one and my mother worked in a high school for 6 or 7 years in the faculty services department.

I don't have kids yet but once we do, I pledge to:

Get both sides of the story from my child(ren) and the teacher. And I'll most likely believe the teacher.

If my kid gets into trouble at school, he/she will be in even MORE trouble at home.

I or my husband will attend all parent/teacher conferances.

Make sure our child(ren) show up to school every day that they are not ill. The only exception is when we go to Disney, but I'll give the teacher/school plenty of notice and work out how school work/tests will be made up, and I will do my best to schedule trips around the school calendar (standardized testing, reports, projects, etc.).

If they ARE ill, then they will stay home and not get the teacher and other students sick.

Make sure they get to school with their backpack (including text books, pencils/pens/crayons/markers, paper/notebooks). Also lunch/project/field trip/pizza day money and science project, properly dressed for the weather and conforming to the school dress code (including shoes )

Did I miss anything?

 

[kcork1026]

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man,
>a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued: "What's a
>kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to
>become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what
>they say about teachers: "Those who can: do. Those who can't: teach."
>
>To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he
>said. "Be honest. What do you make?"
>
>Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want
>to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they
>could. I can make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an
>A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best.
>
>"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.
>I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home. You want to know what
>else I make?"
>
>"I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them criticize. I make
>them apologize and mean it. I make them write. I make them read, read,
>read. I make them spell 'definitely' and 'beautiful' over and over again,
>until they will never misspell either one of those words again. I make
>them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in
>English. I elevate them to experience music and art and joy in the
>performance, so their lives are rich, full of kindness and culture, and
>they take pride in themselves and their accomplishments. I make them
>understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart...and if
>someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention."
>
>"You want to know what I make? I make a difference. And what do you make?"


WE ALL MAKE A DIFFERENCE, AND DON'T LET ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US

 

[MrsPete]

I haven't read the entire thread, but a couple of bad parent moments stick in my head. The worst was the mom who showed up to school drunk and threatened to beat my a**. Then there was the parent who complained about the C her son received on his paper because SHE wrote it.

Yeah, once a parent came into the office looking for me saying that she was there to "stab me in my stomach". And it was for something I hadn't done. Something that was very, very easy to prove. Some people have such class.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think that most teachers expect parents to sit down and do the homework with their kids, especially the older ones, but I believe that a parent should check it up to a certain age.

I don't exactly "help" my child with her homework -- I mean, I don't sit down and say, "Now let's add 15 and 9. What's the answer?" But I do SUPERVISE her while she does her work, and if she has questions (like, "What are they asking me to do in question 12?") I answer them. I make sure that she's working consistantly, not watching TV or playing with the dog. When she's done, I glance over it and have her pack up her bag for the next day.

When she was younger, I listened to her read every night. I think that was "helping" with homework.

 

[rhiannonwales]

I am not a teacher, but there are many instances wher i would agree with the teachers view on lack of parenting.
Last month my sons 1st grade class was assigned a book report and a diorama.On the day it was due, i drove him to school to carry the diorama in or him.While walking in i ran into another mom from his class.The diorama she was carrying was built by her! It was wired for electricity for God's sake!

Now i was mortally offended by this.My son worked hard on his diorama - and he chose a very difficult book for his age level - The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.He's only 7.The other child did "Clifford's Merry Christmas" .
The mom looked at me as the kids ran on ahead and said "Guess we know whos getting first prize" Winning was so important to her that she cheated her daughter.

Sad thing is she did win first prize because the girl said she did it and the teacher couldnt prove she didnt - classic he said she said.
Sherrie

 

[KAMLEM]

I guess I am guilty of this. I have never missed a conference but it was still a shock to me when my son's report card was sent out last Monday and his social studies grade went from an A- to a C+. I was shocked. I had no idea he was struggling and as soon as I saw that I sent a note to his teacher the next day asking if she could contact me at her convenience either by phone, letter, or email so we could discuss what his specific areas of trouble were. (I of course also spoke to my son about the situation as well, I just wanted her input on the matter.) I'm hoping to hear from her soon.

Did you discuss it with your son first? Maybe he didn't bring home all of his tests/assignments for you to see because the grades were so low. I never understand when parents have no idea what their kids are getting for grades and I have to believe that the teachers don't want it that way, either. Unless the kid isn't bringing home their papers it doesn't make sense. My daughter started middle school this year and everything is on-line. At any point we can check their average so far for the current term for any class. Parents in my town have no excuse.

 

[Disney Doll]

the whole shoe thing brought this to mind (and my kids were terrible at losing shoes-it's one of the reasons they now have to "check" their shoes at the hall tree when they enter the house )-

i had a friend in highschool-for the first 15 years of her life her parents were in the peace corps and she lived in very remote african villages where shoes were not worn. as a result her feet were not well suited to wearing shoes when she returned to the u.s.. her parents found that when she tried to wear shoes (of many different styles and varieties) her feet would cramp up and in same swell terribly. her parents consulted with doctors who recommended that she wear something that would "mold" to her foots countours. well, back in the 70's only birkenstock sandles seemed to fit the criteria-they were still painful but not crippleing. our highschool had a no sandle dress code and mandated tennis shoes for sports. the parents asked to work with the school and ultimatly both the parents and the school decided to allow her to walk up to the school property line bare footed, then put on the birkenstocks for the remainder of the day. for gym class she was allowed to wear tennis shoes that had some slits cut in them to help prevent as much pain and swelling. i thought/think this is a great example of parents and teachers working together for the best interests of the child.

flash forward to last year at my kid's private school. a child was enrolled and it was quickly noted that the minute he got to school he kicked off his shoes and would refuse to put them back on-for anything (recess, gym...). the teachers went round and round with the kid, then round and round with the parents who kept defending the kid saying "he just does'nt like to wear shoes-never has, it's his "personal choice" maybe he'll grow out of it some day-but we will support him in it now" (the kid by this time was a 3rd grader). the child was ultimatly expelled from the school because it was such a huge safety issue that the school would not chance the child being injured on thier watch. we later learned the reason the child had enrolled mid year was because the public school had the same issue with the child/parents and the parents were pursuing legal action because while the public school rules said children had to wear appropriate shoes TO school it did not specificaly say the shoes had to be worn IN school this is think is an excellent example of parents working against teachers.

And I think it's a perfect example of a bunch of adults letting their kid run their life.

 

[daisyduck123]

Had a student vomit several times in my class today, right after the morning announcements. (1st grade).

Sent him to the nurse. Went to check on him about 20 minutes later to see when he was going to get picked up. The nurse said she called dad & dad would not come get him.
Dad said, "Let him rest for a while & then send him back to class".
Nurse said, "You need to come get him. It's our policy ...."
Dad replied in an angry tone, "You have the principal call me".

Well, the principal was out. Assistant principal called mom & got her to come get him.

What is the matter with some people?

At least last week when another student threw up in class, she stayed out for the next 5 days until she was well.