Teachers how about a PARENT Rant

[Arielle22]

My mom was a teacher (when she was pregnant with older brother she had to stop teaching). My sil is now a teacher. I have the utmost respect for teachers. I could never be a teacher as I do not have the patience.

I seem to surprise my dd's teachers when a concern is brought to my attention and I agree with the teacher on the remedy. I try to teach my dd's that the world won't change for them and they need to adapt to the world.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

A la Linda Richmond (of SNL fame) I am so Vaklempt (sp?) with emotions from all your replies I just need a minute to compose myself. The topic is, AYP as related to all the previous "junk" handed out by parents .....Discuss among yourselves.

 

[Mskanga]

That is weird. Is this middle school? Well, anyway, yea for your DD and the honor roll

Yep , it's middle school.

 

[barkley]

(not to knock those who are attending or planning to attend teaching programs) but-parents who argue every point with "well, i'm getting my teaching degree (or my mom/best friend...is a teacher)- and you should be doing/i will never do...".

teaching programs, student teaching, being related to a teacher...it's nothing like being in the classroom day after day, year after year and "living" the profession.

"until you've walked a mile in my shoes..."

 

[Marseeya]

(not to knock those who are attending or planning to attend teaching programs) but-parents who argue every point with "well, i'm getting my teaching degree (or my mom/best friend...is a teacher)- and you should be doing/i will never do...".

teaching programs, student teaching, being related to a teacher...it's nothing like being in the classroom day after day, year after year and "living" the profession.

"until you've walked a mile in my shoes..."

I certainly have never said or suggested any such thing, and I haven't seen anyone else doing anything of the sort either.

On a related note, how many teachers are doing that exact thing... not a parent at all, but saying "parents should be doing/I will never do..."?

 

[In a hurry]

I've taught for 20 years, and the teacher/parent bashing is just a fact of life. Teachers believe they know more about kids and how to raise and teach...Parents believe they know more about kids and how to raise and teach.

Bashing does no one any good. Mutual respect, not disgust is what is needed for the sake of the kids involved. Bashers are more concerned with their egos than the welfare of the child.

PS...yes, I am a parent of many years also.

 

[DisneyMim]

Thanks for this thread. My husband is a teacher and my daughter just finished her student teaching. Both love their jobs, but some of the stories they tell about the parents!!! Hubby (a HS teacher) loves the parents who tell him that thier son/daughter isn't bad, they are just hanging out with the wrong crowd. He says that THEY are the wrong crowd! A lot of parents don't bother to attend parent/teacher nights or even call for an alternate appointment, yet they are the first ones to complain. My daughter taught third grade and is shocked at what some kids are wearing to school. The girls wear clothes much too old for them. They look like "little me's" of their mothers. As others have said, some parents say they can't afford money for field trips, lunch, etc., yet they come in with their designer pocketbooks, etc. HUH? Makes no sense. Some don't have anything to eat for snack time and ask the kids who do have snacks to share, or expect the teacher to provide snacks for them. What really gets both my husband and daughter is parents who think their kids are perfect (don't we all), but won't listen to the teachers who are trying to help them. They don't want their kids to get extra help, etc. because they don't want to admit that their kids need it. Sorry for the rant, but I too am sick of teacher bashing.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I am not a teacher but I have friends that are. They have only been teaching since Sept. but they will agree to all of this. I think something happened between when I was in HS (just graduated college in May) and when I started college. When I was in HS most parents cared about their kids and respected the teachers. Yes, there were a few of the bad ones but most actually parented.

My teacher friends have dealt with the unparents already. One has a student who comes to class without paper and pens constantly. She gives him a piece of paper and a pen and he just goes to sleep. I know she calls home and explains this to their parents but they never respond. She has another student who is just absolutely failing. She has called home a lot explaining that their daughter is failing and will not pass. The parents did nothing until a few days before midterms. If my parents received a call home saying I was failing my butt would have been in tutoring and everything possible to pass from the second she got the phone call. And I would have been in major trouble at home.

Let me just say that I have the upmost respect for teachers. I have had some of the best teachers in the world. Many have touched my life and I will never forget them. My chemistry teacher in HS, wow, she was amazing. She truly cared for her students and she made an impact on me. I hugged her my last day of HS and told her how much I would miss her. Have I had a few teachers that really needed to rethink their profession? Oh yeah. You know, the one who was downright nasty and was going through "changes" at the time. What a strange man he was. I would never bash him but he was really overdue for retirement. Other than him I loved my teachers and wish I could have thanked them better.

 

[disneygals]

What really gets both my husband and daughter is parents who think their kids are perfect (don't we all), but won't listen to the teachers who are trying to help them.

Not a teacher here...but I don't like when other parents feel that way either. It's so ignorant. I am not perfect and neither are my kids. I was the 'good girl" growing up and still did plenty of naughty things.

My 3 dds have been in school for 9, 7, and 5 years so far and we have been SO lucky with teachers. Even if there has been anything I didn't like that was said or done, it was minor and I chalked it up to human nature, not evil teachers.

 

[diskids2]

I've taught for 20 years, and the teacher/parent bashing is just a fact of life. Teachers believe they know more about kids and how to raise and teach...Parents believe they know more about kids and how to raise and teach.

Bashing does no one any good. Mutual respect, not disgust is what is needed for the sake of the kids involved. Bashers are more concerned with their egos than the welfare of the child.

PS...yes, I am a parent of many years also.

Finally someone who posted who makes some sense.

 

[Disney Doll]

Call me a bad parent, then, because that happened to me!!!

One morning we were getting DD ready for school and one of her shoes was missing. Hmmmm, wonder what happened to the shoe??? Hmmmm... She had another pair of shoes, but they just happened to be in daddy's car all the way in Pittsburgh where he works. I had to wait until 10:00 when the ONLY shoe store in our town opened.

But yes, I'm SUCH a bad parent.

My guess is that if this person is writing about this, it has happened more than once, and is also probably the same child. The point being that a once in a lifetime thing( as indicated by your story) is a lot different than a steady diet of "reasons why my kid couldn't go to school".

 

[Disney Doll]

I am such a bad parent.....once my daughter just REFUSED to do her homework after I asked her to do it 5 times, I gave up and the next morning she wanted to rush and I would not let her do her homework , I took her to school that day and told the teacher what happened and to give her recess detention so she could do her homework. Never again she has refused to do it.

You know, you parents are msising the point.

I think that these examples are not "once in a lifettime" events or unusual occurrences. They are not you, Mskanga, having a hard time with your kid one night, sharing the info with her teacher and working with the teacher to show your child that actions have consequences, with the result that your child learned a lesson. These are the parents who don't give a hoot whether or not their kids do their homework, then blame the teacher when the kid isn't doing well.

But, it is interesting to me that now that the shoe is on the other foot (parent bashing as opposed to teacher bashing)how much offense you are taking to what the teachers have to say, and how personally you are all taking it.

Payback's a "witch".

 

[Disney Doll]

Something like this happened to me this year (although I do make every meeting). My DD had an IEP meeting and I was going to be there, but my husband's face swelled up the size of a softball from an abscess. The dentist's office wanted to see him right away, so I called the school to tell them WHY I wasn't attending the meeting -- spoke to the office secretary. Just as an offhand remark, I said, "I bet they're going to release her from the IEP... I hope not." She told me she wasn't sure, but that she'd forward me all the paperwork. I asked her to make sure to tell the teacher & sped director why I wasn't there, and she assured me she would.

Yeah, she sure gave them ONE version of why I wasn't there.

The next morning, my DD's teacher called me and was sounding really defensive towards me, asking me why I thought they'd release DD from her IEP, and I explained that it was just my experience with the sped dept, so she told me that they actually didn't. I told her I was glad. She continued to sound really defensive with me and I couldn't figure it out. Towards the end of the conversation, she said something about me not being at the meeting and that it's a shame I didn't go because I mistakenly thought they'd be releasing her.

Huh?

It turned out, the secretary failed to mention the part about my DH being sick and that I actually said I wasn't coming because, why bother? They were releasing her from the IEP. Nice, huh?

Well, my guess is that the teacher has probably had many parents miss IEP meetings for far less important reasons. It is a shame that the secretary didn't give the teacher the full message. Just like it's a shame when parents lump all teachers into the same group when there is a bad one.
Human nature is human nature, after all.

 

[Disney Doll]

I forgot to mention that my DD actually did happen to miss a lot of school that year! Plus she's a struggling reader. She gets sick a lot. If she gets a runny nose or sore throat, she gets a fever with it. Plus she started getting migraines.

My point about the post was (aside from it being a funny story, although not funny the day it happened), people could mistakenly assume a lot about me based on my kids' behaviors and performances, but they'd be wrong.

But Marseeya, you also seem like the kind of parent who will inform the school and the teacher about the difficulties your child is having, involve them, get a tutor or work with your child at home to keep her current in her work if she is unable to attend.

Again, I believe the difference between you & the parents that these folks are posting about is that you care, you are not indifferent to the importance of school.

 

[Marseeya]

My guess is that if this person is writing about this, it has happened more than once, and is also probably the same child. The point being that a once in a lifetime thing( as indicated by your story) is a lot different than a steady diet of "reasons why my kid couldn't go to school".

If you'll note, I addressed this a little later in the thread.

ETA: I see you caught up to it, nevermind. You're fast this morning!

 

[barkley]

I certainly have never said or suggested any such thing, and I haven't seen anyone else doing anything of the sort either.

On a related note, how many teachers are doing that exact thing... not a parent at all, but saying "parents should be doing/I will never do..."?

perhaps it has'nt happened in this venue but it does happen to teachers on far too frequent a basis (and i thought the purpose of this thread was teachers posting about their real life experiences-although i find it facinating that so many parents are posting frustrations with the same issues).

on the same note-i think it's inappropriate for a teacher (parent or non) to tell a parent how THEY would parent an individual child-until they have lived with the individual child in a non educational setting in a non teacher-child relationship they cannot fully evaluate the dynamics of the relationship/situation. that said-many parents ask so much of teachers regarding parenting issues, health issues, behavioural issues, social issues and the like, in the absence of specific training (and the training in teaching colleges is in my opinion insufficient for the realities of today's classrooms-continuing education and in staff training while it helps generaly focuses on specific topics and can't come close to addressing all of the specific situations that occur/can occur) often have to rely on their personal parenting experiences. i would just hope a teacher that does this would preface their comments with "i don't have specific training in that, but based on my personal experience/experience with parents in a similar situation...".

if an individual were in disagreement over an issue and tell any other professional save a teacher "i'm going to x school and when i become x i would/i will never" they would likely be shown the door and told "then i won't be working on your x-find someone else"-teachers do not have that luxury.

 

[mommystieg]

My apologies to the teachers but I do not know how to TEACH my kids to tie their shoes. I did not teach my oldest DD and haven't taught DD#2. I know how to tie shoes but I haven't clue how to teach someone to tie shoes. I have tried, believe me but what I say and how I show them just doesn't help them. Fortunately these days most of their shoes have Velcro

 

[barkley]

My apologies to the teachers but I do not know how to TEACH my kids to tie their shoes. I did not teach my oldest DD and haven't taught DD#2. I know how to tie shoes but I haven't clue how to teach someone to tie shoes. I have tried, believe me but what I say and how I show them just doesn't help them. Fortunately these days most of their shoes have Velcro

i was surprised when "shopping" out preschools for my kids at how many ban laced shoes alltogether and only want slip on or velcro. i understand it's much easier for the staff, but boy howdy it's hard to teach tieing when they don't have to do it every time the put on their shoes!

 

[KAMLEM]

First I have to say that I have never helped my kids with their homework, I might have answered a question or two, but they did their work themself. I did my homework a long time ago and do my own homework now, they can do theirs too. I don't even look it over now (middle and high school).

I don't think that most teachers expect parents to sit down and do the homework with their kids, especially the older ones, but I believe that a parent should check it up to a certain age. Some of my kids' teachers have expected that the parents do this. My oldest daughter just started middle school this year and I still check her math homework because the teacher expects it. I don't have a problem doing it, I want to make sure she understands it because it's so easy to fall behind in math. My girls had to do science fair projects in the third grade and at the beginning of the year parents were told that they were expected to help a lot. There is no way that a third grader could do what they expected without any help at all. Sorry if I got a little off topic.

 

[mickeyboat]

My apologies to the teachers but I do not know how to TEACH my kids to tie their shoes. I did not teach my oldest DD and haven't taught DD#2. I know how to tie shoes but I haven't clue how to teach someone to tie shoes. I have tried, believe me but what I say and how I show them just doesn't help them. Fortunately these days most of their shoes have Velcro

I just showed my kids a few times, and then helped them practice. They were really driven on their own to learn, so I didn't have to spend much time teaching, just time helping them prefect it. If they became frustrated, they took a break, but it really didn't take them too long to learn (they were 5 and 4 at the time). Hannah is the official shoe-tier in her K class. There are still quite a few kids who can't do it.

We also bought a "book" that had a picture of a shoe on it with laces. We didn't use it much since they thought they had to put their foot on the book in order to tie it. So we just went back to using their regular shoes.

Good luck.

Denae