Teacher vent--If your child is sick, keep them HOME!

[Tink888]

I realize your post is just a vent and I sympathize with you. I couldn't stand working around a bunch of sick kids. I hated it when co-workers came to work visibly sick and there's been plenty of times one of my kids has come home from school to tell me a fellow student was sick and then a few days later my kids are sick. It's frustrating to say the least.

But I also think that while it's easy to make the assumption parents are knowingly sending their kids to school sick, it's not always correct. A stomach ache in the morning could be anything from breakfast not kicking in yet, to nerves, to a virus. You just don't always know. And a kid who goes to the nurse at 10:00 with a fever might have been fine at 8:30 before Mom put him/her on the bus.

I also think NCLB and attendance rules have a part in encouraging the practice of sending sick kids to school. On the one hand, parents are told to keep sick kids home but God forbid a child goes over their allotted days missed and then we're bad parents who don't care about education. In addition, there are many districts that throw in personal incentives for perfect attendance and worse, classroom attendance contests, which can subject a child with poor attendance to ridicule from fellow students.

Most parents (and there are exceptions to every rule), even working parents, will keep sick kids home but every once in awhile we can make a bad judgment call and I guarantee you we feel pretty lousy about it when it does happen. We're doing the best we can.

Parents need to be as vigilant as possible and districts have a part too in not sending the mixed message regarding attendance that they often do. JMHO.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

This is another case of the whole me, me, me thing that exists.
A parent sends their child to school sick b/c keeping them home inconveinces them and then their kid gets another child sick and that parent might now suffer consequences at work b/c their child is sick b/c of another parents decision.

This is me!! My dd is sick b/c of someone else's bad decision which makes my family suffer financially. Even though it is only dd and I - I still need to pay my bills. Days that I am at home with her when she is sick (where she should be) negatively affect my income for that month but my bills remain the same.

 

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

I'm not a teacher but a health care worker. Get ready for a busy school year. We have seen so many sick children this month at the hospital with fevers and coughs. It's going to be a rough season this year with the possibility of repeat illnesses. I'm not sure how many parents will keep their children out of school but that's the only way to stop the cycle.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Well. If you have no vacation days or sick days because you just started a job after being laid off for a while and your child gets sick. . .right or wrong, the temptation would be awfully strong to send the child to school. Missing a day of work means no $$$ for that day. No $$$ for that day means you have to decide which bill doesn't get paid or what food doesn't get bought.

It is what it is. That's just reality for a lot of people. I don't see that as selfish, not when the electricity is on for the kids, or the food on the table goes to the kids.

And that's a best-case-scenario. In some places, a sick kid is an unexcused absence, and 2 or 3 of those and you lose your job.

Then what do you do? Go on assistance?

Sometimes some families have to make difficult decisions where there isn't a right answer.

There's also the fact that kids in some places get X absences, excused or unexcused. Go over that and the child fails, even if the child has an A in a class.

We've pretty much taken the option of being sick away from a lot of people in this country today. I don't have an answer to how it could be remedied.

But pretty much if you're at a certain working class level, without a supportive family, it can be fairly difficult. I suppose, really, it's the fault of the parents for having kids when they knew they weren't middle class and didn't have good enough support systems.

ETA: I know, I know, some parents send their kids to school when sick b/c they're pretty much just lazy SOBs. But that's not ALL kids. There are some where blaming the parents for being poor. Well. It doesn't help anything.

 

[torinsmom]

You can tell parents all you want that kids can't come back until they are fever free without medication for 24 hours, but it is tough to enforce. There is no way of knowing when the fever ended and/or whether the child as given fever meds that morning. You are depending on a parent's word, you know? Some will give meds at 7:30, knowing they will work until lunch at least. I have even had parents tell me that the child is not contagious when they don't have a fever, even though it is being prevented by fever medication.

I really can't believe a daycare/school would have 101 as their standard to call parents. That is more than 2 degrees of fever! One school I was at was 99.6. My current one does not have a standard; it depends on how the kid feels as well. These days, even a 99.5 is getting parents called, if the child is coughing, lethargic, etc.

I know sometimes we don't know our kids are sick when they leave home in the morning. However, I have seen a pattern with some parents, including the one I mentioned in my OP.

I am a single mom and I know it is hard to miss work. Thing is, if your child is at school sick, they are miserable and they are exposing everyone else as well.

We are doing our best this year, with hand sanitizer as soon as kinds pass into the classroom, clorox wipes for tables and chairs every afternoon, and even spraying the materials with lysol. We're encouraging hand washing and the proper way to sneeze and cough. Unfortunately, if kids come to sick with this mess, none of that makes a difference.

Marsha

 

[judy21049]

I work at a doctors office. Moms call to get appointments for sick kids, when we say how about 10:30, they say "do you have anything after 3, I sent them to school"

 

[just4today]

I realize your post is just a vent and I sympathize with you. I couldn't stand working around a bunch of sick kids. I hated it when co-workers came to work visibly sick and there's been plenty of times one of my kids has come home from school to tell me a fellow student was sick and then a few days later my kids are sick. It's frustrating to say the least.

But I also think that while it's easy to make the assumption parents are knowingly sending their kids to school sick, it's not always correct. A stomach ache in the morning could be anything from breakfast not kicking in yet, to nerves, to a virus. You just don't always know. And a kid who goes to the nurse at 10:00 with a fever might have been fine at 8:30 before Mom put him/her on the bus.

I also think NCLB and attendance rules have a part in encouraging the practice of sending sick kids to school. On the one hand, parents are told to keep sick kids home but God forbid a child goes over their allotted days missed and then we're bad parents who don't care about education. In addition, there are many districts that throw in personal incentives for perfect attendance and worse, classroom attendance contests, which can subject a child with poor attendance to ridicule from fellow students.

Most parents (and there are exceptions to every rule), even working parents, will keep sick kids home but every once in awhile we can make a bad judgment call and I guarantee you we feel pretty lousy about it when it does happen. We're doing the best we can.

Parents need to be as vigilant as possible and districts have a part too in not sending the mixed message regarding attendance that they often do. JMHO.

I agree. It's easy for people on every side of this issue to point fingers and blame others, but the reality is that it's a complex situation with many factors that contribute. Also, I don't believe anybody has mentioned that many bugs don't present symptoms until after the period of contagion has started, like URVs. Should parents be required to know their child has an URV before symptoms appear? Complaining about other children getting your own child sick does NO GOOD. It's much better to teach your children methods to avoid getting sick, such as handwashing and keeping fingers off the eyes/nose/mouth.

 

[bethbuchall]

A real double-standard exists by high school. No one wants to send their kids to school sick, but it is so hard to make up the work sometimes. A missed gym class (for any reason) needs to be made up or the marking period grade is lowered. They don't make it easy to make up gym either. Every other day is double-period science which is generally a lab day. Try making up a 90 minute lab or two. Plus when the students generally have 4+ hours of homework a night, making up several missed days is torture, especially since they are still tired from being sick. Fortunately, my kids are seldom sick.

I have seen it from the other side, though. I teach a 1/2 day preschool that runs only twice a week. Those kids will come in a tell you that they threw up that morning or that they had a fever but they took medicine. There is nothing that they are going to miss in a couple of days, and they have either one SAHP or a regular caregiver. Illness spreads very quickly among three year olds as much as we try to teach them how to avoid spreading germs.

 

[bethbuchall]

I agree. It's easy for people on every side of this issue to point fingers and blame others, but the reality is that it's a complex situation with many factors that contribute. Also, I don't believe anybody has mentioned that many bugs don't present symptoms until after the period of contagion has started, like URVs. Should parents be required to know their child has an URV before symptoms appear? Complaining about other children getting your own child sick does NO GOOD. It's much better to teach your children methods to avoid getting sick, such as handwashing and keeping fingers off the eyes/nose/mouth.

Not to mention that it's easy to blame little Johnny who is sick, but the germs could have been picked up anywhere--library, store, playground.

 

[golfgal]

Sometimes it is hard to know if you should send them or not. I won't keep my kids home with just a cold unless they are miserable. DD14 was not feeling the best yesterday but she didn't have a fever and wanted to go to school so she went. She is staying home today because now she has a fever and a bad cough-thinking she might now have bronchitis or pneumonia. She wants to go to school, she doesn't want to miss out on classwork, have all the extra homework and marching band practice. I don't blame her.

Also keep in mind that your child was contagious before symptoms showed up so they already exposed everyone to whatever they have, not that I am agreeing that you should send them to school sick but you have already been exposed to whatever they have.

 

[5lilfish]

Sometimes it is hard to know if you should send them or not. I won't keep my kids home with just a cold unless they are miserable. DD14 was not feeling the best yesterday but she didn't have a fever and wanted to go to school so she went. She is staying home today because now she has a fever and a bad cough-thinking she might now have bronchitis or pneumonia. She wants to go to school, she doesn't want to miss out on classwork, have all the extra homework and marching band practice. I don't blame her.

Also keep in mind that your child was contagious before symptoms showed up so they already exposed everyone to whatever they have, not that I am agreeing that you should send them to school sick but you have already been exposed to whatever they have.

I agree. Sometimes it is hard to know if you should send a child or not. This morning, my 4th grader was stuffy. All she has is a very minor cold (no fever and feels fine...just stuffy/sniffles in the morning and at night). As I said, she told me that she feels fine but how do I know if she's going to get worse in 3 hrs? I can't keep my kids home every time they sniffle (with no fever and no complaints). So, I sent her...and I did tell her that if she gets worse during the day that she should go to the nurse. I have no problem keeping my kids home and/or picking them up...but sometimes it's not an easy decision.

My 6th grader often wakes up with an upset stomach. She (just like Mom) has sinus/allergy problems. The overnight drainage makes us queezy in the morning. Once we're up and moving for a bit, and get a bite to eat, the stomach ache goes away and we are fine for the day...perfectly healthy. So, when I send her off to school after she complained of a stomach ache, there is a chance that she could come down with something....and it would look like I chose to send in a sick kid.

I do agree with the OP. I keep my kids home when they are sick and I think everybody should do the same. I'm just saying that it's not always an eay call, and it's not always irresponsible parenting if a kid ends up going to school sick..

Jess

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

I also think NCLB and attendance rules have a part in encouraging the practice of sending sick kids to school. On the one hand, parents are told to keep sick kids home but God forbid a child goes over their allotted days missed and then we're bad parents who don't care about education. In addition, there are many districts that throw in personal incentives for perfect attendance and worse, classroom attendance contests, which can subject a child with poor attendance to ridicule from fellow students.


Parents need to be as vigilant as possible and districts have a part too in not sending the mixed message regarding attendance that they often do. JMHO.

Very good point!

It's a similar situation with some employers. Before I went to college I worked in retail. God forbid you stay home sick and make them short for the day, but if you do end up coming in sick, everyone treats you like you have the plague and says "Stay away from me!!" Well yeah! That's was I was trying to do! It's such a double standard!

 

[JoiseyMom]

OP, I don';t blame you, vent away! I am a mom...I was a working/student single mom for years..then a SAHM..now I am back to PT work. Whenever any of my kids (4) were sick, they were home. THey stayed home until fever free for 24 hours (unmedicated fever free). My youngest is 8, he got sick the second week of school this year, and was home for 4 days. When he runs a virus/fever..it stays for a bit. The last day, when he was fever free..he was fine, but yes, I kept him home.

DD 13 had a cold..no fever, and I kept her home one day just to rest.

If the parents would keep their sick kids home, other kids and teachers wouldn't get sick!!

 

[maxiesmom]

It's a similar situation with some employers. Before I went to college I worked in retail. God forbid you stay home sick and make them short for the day, but if you do end up coming in sick, everyone treats you like you have the plague and says "Stay away from me!!" Well yeah! That's was I was trying to do! It's such a double standard!

I work retail, and I stayed home today because I feel like dirt. Actually I left work 2 hours early yesterday because I kept getting light-headed, and thought I was going to either pass out or end up throwing up on someonone.

Funny thing is one of the managers came to work for at least 3 days, knowing she was sick. Yeah, thanks a lot.

If you know you are sick, or know your child is sick, home is the place to be. Not at work or at school.

 

[ckay87]

Oh yea sure, I agree with you in theory OP. The teachers SAY that but here's what happens when I actually put it into practice (with respect to my middle schooler). I got snide remarks from the teachers, such as "oh your son is absent a lot" during conferences (my LAST conferences by the way). And by the middle of the school year we had forced doctors excuses for any further absences. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is? At that point he had missed 10 days because...guess what....I kept him home when he was sick. I consciously said to myself "I don't want to expose the teachers and students to anything he might have." We were not out at baseball games or shopping or daytripping. We were doing exactly what you are suggesting here.

But today, I sent my kid to school sick precisely BECAUSE of the teachers, to be honest. Not to harm them, mind you, but because I don't want to hear it anymore - like we're criminal for our kid being missing school. There's MY vent. I would love to get some clear guidance from the schools and teachers as to exactly what they DO suggest with respect to keeping sick kids home because I don't know what the heck to do anymore. The schools are nasty and like petri dishes for disease. I tried being considerate by not allowing my sick kid to contribute to the spread of stuff and frankly just got a lot of crap from the school.

Yes, this frustrates me. Especially today.

 

[3boymthr]

Please don't get mad at all parents it's not always in our control...

Oldest DS comes home yesterday saying he spent the whole day and the day before and the day before that coughing and the teacher said he should stay home. Well, I would have him stay home except he has not coughed AT ALL at home. Not once - in the last week or the week before that. Also no sniffles, no sneezing, no running nose, no fever. So I'm supposed to keep him home when he's not sick at home??? Obviously I'll have to call the doctor if it continues, but if it's because he's allergic to something at school I'm not sure what can be done besides antihistamine which will mean he has to stay from school as it puts him to sleep - which obviously can't happen as then he'll be truant. They may have to put up with the coughing.

I do always keep them home when they have a fever in the last 24 hours or if they've thrown up or signs of anything highly contagious.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

I understand but at the same point sometimes these kids are contagious before it's obvious they are sick and germs can be picked up anywhere. It's not just 1 child coming to school sick that's making everyone else sick.

I do keep my kids home when they are sick, they need the rest to get better. But it's not easy! We have a 5 days and you get a truancy letter policy.

 

[ckay87]

I do keep my kids home when they are sick, they need the rest to get better. But it's not easy! We have a 5 days and you get a truancy letter policy.

Exactly. And as long as those policies are in place, the teachers need to complain to their administrators and not the parents. I think they'd be surprised how few evil, uncaring parents there are (as this thread suggests) and how many parents send sick kids to school simply to avoid the wrath of the school administration.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I understand but at the same point sometimes these kids are contagious before it's obvious they are sick and germs can be picked up anywhere. It's not just 1 child coming to school sick that's making everyone else sick.

I do keep my kids home when they are sick, they need the rest to get better. But it's not easy! We have a 5 days and you get a truancy letter policy.

Exactly. And as long as those policies are in place, the teachers need to complain to their administrators and not the parents. I think they'd be surprised how few evil, uncaring parents there are (as this thread suggests) and how many parents send sick kids to school simply to avoid the wrath of the school administration.

I am the Parent Rep for my dds school districts School Attendance Review Board (SARB) -- those are unexcused abences. Being home sick and coming back in with a note is an excused absence. The families we deal with for the most part are not the ones keeping thier child home b/c they are sick with a fever or cold.

 

[MushyMushy]

I also think NCLB and attendance rules have a part in encouraging the practice of sending sick kids to school. On the one hand, parents are told to keep sick kids home but God forbid a child goes over their allotted days missed and then we're bad parents who don't care about education. In addition, there are many districts that throw in personal incentives for perfect attendance and worse, classroom attendance contests, which can subject a child with poor attendance to ridicule from fellow students.

Parents need to be as vigilant as possible and districts have a part too in not sending the mixed message regarding attendance that they often do. JMHO.

I totally agree. There isn't even a mixed message in our school district. They plain and simple want those kids filling the desks no matter what. Throwing up? No problem, that's what they have janitors for. Fever? Eh, okay, send them back to the classroom. When I was teaching there, my daughter came down with a fever of 101 (nurse took the temp) and I asked her to please call my husband to pick her up and take her home. On my lunch break, I'd gone to the nurse's office to see if he'd arrived, and the nurse hadn't even called. I brought DD into my room and let her sit back in a corner with her head down on my computer desk. She was so sick, she ended up missing the rest of the week.

Oh yea sure, I agree with you in theory OP. The teachers SAY that but here's what happens when I actually put it into practice (with respect to my middle schooler). I got snide remarks from the teachers, such as "oh your son is absent a lot" during conferences (my LAST conferences by the way). And by the middle of the school year we had forced doctors excuses for any further absences. Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is? At that point he had missed 10 days because...guess what....I kept him home when he was sick. I consciously said to myself "I don't want to expose the teachers and students to anything he might have." We were not out at baseball games or shopping or daytripping. We were doing exactly what you are suggesting here.

But today, I sent my kid to school sick precisely BECAUSE of the teachers, to be honest. Not to harm them, mind you, but because I don't want to hear it anymore - like we're criminal for our kid being missing school. There's MY vent. I would love to get some clear guidance from the schools and teachers as to exactly what they DO suggest with respect to keeping sick kids home because I don't know what the heck to do anymore. The schools are nasty and like petri dishes for disease. I tried being considerate by not allowing my sick kid to contribute to the spread of stuff and frankly just got a lot of crap from the school.

Yes, this frustrates me. Especially today.

Sounds exactly like our school. I understand attendance issues with NCLB, but paying $40 a pop with insurance for a doctor's visit JUST for an excused absence is ridiculous.

I am the Parent Rep for my dds school districts School Attendance Review Board (SARB) -- those are unexcused abences. Being home sick and coming back in with a note is an excused absence. The families we deal with for the most part are not the ones keeping thier child home b/c they are sick with a fever or cold.

A parent note is not enough with our school.

Okay, get this. A friend of mine got in some real trouble with unexcused absences when her daughter was in middle school. The daughter (yes, her own fault, I get that) wasn't turning in the doctor's excuses for whatever reason, so on the third unexcused absence, the principal turned my friend over to the magistrate. The fine she paid for that "truancy," even with the signed doctor's notes, was more than the fine paid by a guy who had molested a girl around the same time frame. None of us could believe that she was treated more harshly than a child molester.